Spock The Question Dodger

Spock stroked his pet selat slowly, being careful to avoid the six inch fangs. Just then, Kirk barged into the room. Spock stuffed the selat behind his back. Kirk looked suspiciously at him.

"What's that you got there? Not more chocolates is it?"

"Jim, I did not have any chocolates in the first place. You are fully aware that those so called chocolates were in fact a highly poisonous substance from my home planet."

"Well that's not important. What've you got behind your back?"

Spock clenched his jaw as the selat sunk its teeth into the palm of his hand.

"It is nothing that you should concern yourself with" said Spock, trying to avoid the question as he slowly opened his drawer and surreptitiously stuffed the selat into it.

Kirk advanced slowly.

"Oh I shouldn't concern myself with it should I?" he said menacingly as he made a surprise grab for whatever was hidden in Spock's hand. Spock sighed and withdrew his hands from behind his back. Kirk looked puzzled.

"But…" he began slowly, with the air of a stunned toddler who had just had its toy whipped away from it. "You had something there!" he said accusingly.

"Something where?" said Spock in what he hoped would be an innocent tone but unfortunately made Kirk all the more suspicious.

"You can't lie Spock, you know that!"

"But I can, however, avoid the question." said Spock slyly.

"Alright, Spock. I'll put it to you simply. What did you have behind your back?"

There was a pause.

"At which point in time are you referring to?" Spock said coolly.

"You're being sly, Spock. Alright. I'll play your game. What did you have behind your back about 30 seconds ago?"

"That is not a precise enough measurement, Jim." said Spock, twirling a pencil in his fingers.

"Fine, 32.6 seconds ago."

"32.6 seconds ago what?"

Kirk ground his teeth.

"What did you have in your hand 32.6 seconds ago?"

"To which hand are you referring Jim?"

"BOTH OF THEM!"

"Both of them what, Jim?"

"Ok…ok…." Kirk said, trying to calm himself. He thought carefully. "What did you have in both of your hands 32.6 seconds ago?"

"Nothing. Although I did have something in my left hand."

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"The thing you had in your left hand."

"At which point in time?"

Kirk snarled angrily.

"What did you have in your left hand 32.6 seconds ago?"

"Nothing, Jim."

"What?!"

"What what?"

"You just said…!"

"I believe that you may need to expand your measurement to allow for the time that you have spent changing your question."

"Oh. Ok then." he took a deep breath "What did you have in your left hand 43.85 seconds ago?"

"I believe that the item you are referring to is a pencil, Jim."