Side note: Please read Author note at end of chapter if you like where I am going so far. I do like the normal coupling as is in Twilight, but I do have some Mitch match coupling in the mix. Also Lemons will be in here and they will be a variety.

Disclaimer: Stephanie meyer owns twilight I own nothing.

How did I get here? To go from Bella Swan the shy boy crazy tomboy to Bella Swan the man hating cold hearted lesbian? I'll tell you how, Edward Cullen.

The name itself made me want to cringe in disgust, but before it made me want to sing sappy love songs or even dance in the rain. He was everything to me and then he was nothing at all.

How could I let a guy change me and make me into this shell of a person? Well when you love someone you do crazy things right, but what if that someone you love hurts you so badly that your not capable of doing anything else?

I remember with perfect clarity the day everything changed and I will never forget the way I felt. I was on cloud nine in the beginning and afterwards lets just say I wasn't walking on sunshine instead I was caught in the middle of a storm.

It was my senior year I was seventeen and not exactly a memorable person. I had long wavy brown hair, brown eyes, slim figure, average height, and I dressed in the usual flannel buttoned down and jeans. My style was pretty much tomboy, didn't give a shit, and unlady like, but I never saw the need to impress anyone other then him. There was only one person I ever wanted to notice me as more then Bella the tomboy and that was Edward Cullen, my best friend. He was the cat to my meow and he, of course, was oblivious to it. To be honest he wasn't just oblivious to me, he was oblivious to the other girls as well.

We met first in junior high and throughout high school we maintained a wonderful friendship with his charm, intelligence, beauty, and loyalty it was easy to fall hopelessly in love with him. He was a Greek god in the flesh with wild bronze-red hair and green piercing eyes. His facial features and lean sculpted body were what I would deem true art, perfection at its finest. But what I loved most about him was his personality he was so old fashioned, witty, and charming that I couldn't help, but long to be near him. He was every women's fantasy and yet no one seemed to be able to hold his interest including me.

Most the female student body had been harboring a secret crush on Edward, our own Greek god and yet he remained none the wiser. When a girl would throw herself at him he would politely decline and chalk it up to being some kind of joke. At first I thought it was because of low confidence, but I quickly realized it wasn't when in sophomore year he started dating Tanya, a beautiful strawberry blonde with a models figure and two years of sexual experience under her belt. I could never compete with that so I ended up on the side lines pinning for Edward from afar and actually considered dating his arch nemesis Mike whom I had been on a couple prior dates with.

Edward didn't seem to like the idea of him and I together, but I didn't like the idea of him boning the perfect princess so I said screw it and went out with Mike just to spite Edward. It didn't last long as Mike was a horrible kisser and things between Tanya and Edward fizzled apparently because he wouldn't put out. The thought now of Edward not putting out almost had me in tears at the ridiculousness of it. I never really asked Edward why he and Tanya broke up and he never really asked me why things didn't work out with Mike, but we had an understanding. We didn't need anyone, but each other and Alice of course.

Alice was the ying to Edwards yang, She was his sister and his twin, though not identical they still had the odd habit of being able to sense what the other was thinking. Where he had a reddish bronze hair color , green eyes, and was 6'3 she was 4'11 very petite with short cropped black hair and blue eyes. Unfortunately being so close to Alice was not exactly helping my hidden love of her brother because she on more then one occasion may have suggested that she knew I pined for him. Stupid nosey all knowing pixie. I loved her, but I didn't need her to know that I was hopelessly devoted to her brother because that was just awkward.

Thankfully she never came out and said anything, until of course senior year and I tried to throw her off any suspicions she might have, but apparently it was too obvious to her so I could not. She even came up with this whole theory that maybe he loved me too and I wanted so badly to believe her that maybe that's why I agreed to do what I tried to do. I wasn't exactly planning to stick around this hell hole of a town we grew up in, Forks, so I didn't have long to admit my true feelings. We graduated today and our graduation party was hours away. Edward would be going to Julliard and I would be going to the University of Arizona, but if he did in fact love me I would be willing to give that up and follow him anywhere.

I was so crazy about him that I would have done just about anything for him and it both thrilled me and scared me at the same time. So that's why in the four years of realizing that I was in love with him that I didn't say anything. I couldn't bear the thought of him actually telling me he didn't feel the same so I sat idle waiting in the wings hoping that fate or he would do it for me. Little did I know I was waiting in vain and little did I think about the repercussions of a certain graduation party I decided to let Alice girlafie me up for. I wanted Edward to see me as a beautiful swan not an ugly duckling so I let her primp and prod away at me until I was left wearing a rather revealing dress and two inch heals I could barely walk in.

At least my hair and actual makeup were nice. She gave my brown dull eyes the smokey look and they actually looked pretty intense and my hair was curled in cascades down the length of my bareback. Yes that's right the dress was a black spaghetti strap form fitting low cut number. My back was fabric less and the end of the dress came mid thigh while the two inch heals made it hard to walk I tried my darndest to keep from being clumsy boy to strutting vixen. I had high hopes for our impending graduation party, but unfortunately my nerves were getting the best of me so I decided to creep down stairs and outside for a moment to catch my breath.

I didn't anticipate Edward being there, but low and behold there he was looking as divine as usual in a form fitting long sleeve black button down and denim pants. He smiled crookedly when he saw me at first then he scanned my body and let out a loud gasp. He was looking at me now like I had lost my mind and not just gotten a makeover. I couldn't help, but blush and feel stupid as he stood before me wearing the strangest look on his face. At first I didn't know what to make of it so I tried to play it cool and act like he didn't affect me, but when he saw my eyes sink to the floor he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Hey Bell not that I don't think you look great, but what's with the whole girly thing? Did my sister finally hold you down long enough to play Barbie doll?" He smirked looking me over, but with more appraising eyes and I just cocked an eyebrow as if to say "Really?"

Before I could actually responded the pixie from hell came running towards me and grabbed me screaming "NOW YOU HAVE RUINED THE SURPRISE! But don't worry underneath all this there is still one more surprise." I blushed and Edward looked up at me with slightly hooded eyes.

I was going to let myself be mortified that Alice let the cat out of the bag (I was wearing something sexy underneath) but when I saw his facial expression with a hint of lust I couldn't bother with being mortified. Instead I just felt ecstatic. I didn't know what this meant and I wasn't going to analyze it until I had my moment with Edward, but that would come in due time as I had another thirty minutes until the party.

My nerves were off the charts as I spent the last half hour being instructed by Alice on how to seduce her virginal brother and I couldn't help, but feel a little bit weirded out. I tried to shake that feeling as we finally descended the stairs and waited for Edward by his Volvo. Apparently he was having a serious conversation with his father at the moment and it was taking a little longer then expected so I couldn't make my grand entrance cue the song "Kiss me" from the movie "She's all that." As we waited for Edward I took a moment to really let this all sink in and I decided I wasn't going to be bashful Bella I was going to be take charge Bella. If Edward loved me back I would give him my virginity.

As Alice ranted and raved about this or that I finally saw him exiting the house and walking towards the car us. He had what appeared to be a fake smile on his face and when I tried to ask what was wrong he shrugged me off. He seemed to be putting on his game face because after driving in silence the whole way to Jessica Stanley's graduation bash he anxiously parked his car and with determination he made his way towards the music. I tried in vain to keep up with him, but with the heals it just wasn't possible. Edward was like a bat out of hell and I lost him the minute I stepped foot into the house of drunken horny teenagers.

Alice tried her hardest to help me walk and when she saw the sad expression on my face she agreed to help me find Edward. "You know he is probably off in a corner as parties aren't usually his thing lets see if we can find him perched up on a wall or something?" She giggled and I smiled shaking my head at her accurate assumption of her brother.

We made our way into the crowd of people in the living room and before I could turn around and avoid it Mike Newton was in my face. "Hey Bella baby looking good. Say why is it that we broke up? I think you should give me another go at it. Now that Jessica and I split I have a lot more experience and I know how to please the ladies."

"Eww Mike Bella doesn't want your gonorrhea that you probably now have ever sense you slept with both Jessica and Lauren at the same time. She's way too good for you so take a fucking hike you pervert before I rip your balls off." Alice barked back up at him before I could even respond.

I couldn't help, but laugh and Mike looked mortified, but sure enough he was gone before I could even voice my own opinion. "You know Alice I can handle myself, but thanks for that. Mike's face was priceless when you called him out on his shit. Now if only Edward were here to see that. Where is he anyway?"

Just as Alice was about to respond I heard what appeared to be a few people chanting Edwards name and I turned in the direction it was coming from. There before my eyes was Edward chugging a pitcher of beer with Jessica Stanley on one side and Lauren Mallory on the other. Both were being really touchy feely and Edward seemed to like it. As he finished his pitcher and his eyes traveled over to Alice and me I was hoping he would acknowledge us, but he didn't. He just rolled his eyes at us smirked, and made himself another drink. I didn't know what to do and the rejection I was feeling wasn't helping matters either so I looked to Alice for help, but she appeared to be just as stunned in to silence as I was.

"I think this was a bad idea Alice and I really don't like parties anyway. So before someone tries to slip something in my drink or I get barfed on I am just going to call a cab and get home. Besides the party will likely be broken up soon enough anyway and you know my dad would hate for me to be here."

"Bella are you sure I mean I think Edward's just in one of his moods. I really think you should still tell him how you feel because I know he feels the same too."

"Yeah you know what maybe he just needs a little liquid courage to tell me how he feels. I will give it another fifteen minutes, but I got to use the bathroom before the line starts."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No Alice you go ahead and mingle we both know you are the life of the party and besides I will just catch up with you anyway."

"Ok Bella see you in a little bit."

I watched her go deeper into the crowd and when I looked up in the direction Edward had been in he was no where to be found so I made my way to the bathroom. When the downstairs bathroom was being occupied I decided to make my way upstairs in hopes that I wouldn't run into any orgies on the way to the bathroom. Unfortunately I heard some serious moaning and what appeared to be more then one female in another room. I was just going to laugh it off as two sluts getting it on with some guy who thought he was actually lucky until I heard his name.

"Mmm Edward I thought you and Bella had a thing going on, but I should have known you would prefer a Jessica and Lauren sandwich way more then that poor excuse for a girl." Laurens voice sprang out and I strained to hear where it was coming from.

Realization hit me when I saw some movement coming from the bedroom down the hall and I walked towards it my heart pounding violently in my chest. I knew I should just leave, but I had to hear it and see it for myself. When I peeked in I saw the most heartbreaking and disgusting sight I had ever seen.

Edward was naked lying on a bed with both Jessica and Lauren who were nude as well. Jessica was licking and sucking on his dick while Lauren was licking and sucking on his balls like starved children. His hands were all over them and his head was thrown back in ecstasy. He seemed to be so lost in the feeling that when he mumbled I barely heard what he said.

"Yeah Bella's just a friend more like one of the guys you know? It would probably be like fucking a dude. Anyway I don't….oh god….suck that dick Jessica…..I don't want to talk about her….Lauren damn your tongue feels so good…..I cant wait to fuck you both……I need a pick me up…..give me some of that good shit and then I am going to fuck you both."

He reached out to take what look like a white line of powder and put a rolled up bill to his nose and sucked the line into his nostril. I knew then it must have been coke and I knew he must have been drunk and high, but that didn't excuse his behavior. It only broke my heart more because he chose to do this and he didn't even care about me. I didn't want to look any further and I felt like I couldn't breath as tears strayed down my face. I turned to run, but not before I heard him speak again.

"Get on your hands and knees the both of you, yeah just like last time, I'm going to take turns fucking you both. My cock is so hard right now only you two can do that to me."

He wasn't a virgin. They had done this before, but when, how? It had to have been recently because he never spoke to them and the only time I ever heard of him willingly letting them near him was prom last month. Then it hit me. He fucked them on prom night no wonder he never called me, he was too busy getting fucked by those whores. As I made my way to the top of the stairs trying desperately to tune out the moans and grunts I ended up tripping on one of my shoes and falling the rest of the day down. At first people just stood there pointing and laughing, but then Alice came and I started to sob as not only my heart hurt, but now my ankle was swelling.

"Oh my god Bella are you ok? Everyone stop fucking laughing and someone go find my brother we need to get her to a hospital." She screamed and just like that the laughing died down.

"Alice?" I sobbed. "Alice…y-y-your brother w-w-wont be able to take us to the hospital, he's too busy getting d-d-drunk and high and fucked by Jessica and Lauren to do shit!" I stuttered and a couple people within ear shot sort of gasped at my confession.

"Yeah apparently its not the first time either fucking scumbag fucked them both before, probably prom night, I fucking hate him Alice. Do you hear me?"

Alice just looked down at me as if she couldn't believe what I just said. Then with a strength I didn't see coming she held me up and leaned me against a wall and stormed her way upstairs with a vengeance. I heard what appeared to be a door being slammed and then there was nothing, but screaming." EDWARD FUCKING CULLEN YOUR BEST FRIEND IS DOWN THERE WITH A HURT ANKLE BECAUSE SHE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND YOUR UP HERE FUCKING THESE TWO WHORES AND GETTING FUCKED UP. YOU'RE A SAD EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING YOU KNOW THAT AND IF YOU WERENT MY BROTHER I WOULD RIP YOUR BALLS OFF THE ONLY REASON IM NOT NOW IS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO CATCH GONORHEA FROM THESE TOO WHORES. GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING KEYS IM TAKING BELLA TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!"

"Is she ok Alice? Is Bella ok? Get off of me Lauren. Get me my clothes Jessica I am coming with you Alice." Edward groaned.

I heard some shuffling and what appeared to be clothing being thrown on and then I saw Alice and Edward descending the stairs. Alice's face was covered in anger and Edward just looked too fucked up to really comprehend anything, but I was just done. I knew he didn't owe me anything, but it still hurt too much to look at him and pretend that I didn't still love him after he just got fucked by the gonorrhea whores so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I don't want you near me Edward. You reek of sex, drugs, and booze and I don't want that around me. What happened to you Edward, where the hell is my best friend? Because this is not the Edward I know and I don't think I can be around you anymore. I am officially done with being your friend so when you get gonorrhea or overdose don't call me. Our friendship is over."

I looked up into his eyes one last time to see if he registered any thing I had just said and apparently he did. He knew by the look of resolve on my face that I meant every word of it and when he handed Alice the keys he turned away from me to walk back upstairs. He didn't even care nor did he apologize and the worse thing was he went back to what he was doing as if I didn't even exist. Apparently he cared more about getting fucked up and fucked then he did about our friendship and that in itself only made me hate him even more.

Now five years later, at 22, I look back on that day and realize that he shaped me into who I am today. A bitter, cynical, tough, man hating lesbian. Yeah that's right I swore off men the day Edward Cullen broke my heart and I have only ever been with women, but I still didn't hate all men. I had another best friend named Jasper whom I met in college my sophomore year at the University of Arizona and he was actually really cool. We both majored in literature, he wanted to be a writer while I wanted to be an editor. He was kind of shy and nerdy, but for the most part he was pretty sweet and it didn't hurt that he had a beautiful twin sister who thanks to him was my kind of girlfriend. Unlike Alice and Edward Cullen, the Hales were identical and just as beautiful as the Cullen's. If Edward had been female he would have probably looked just as good as Rosalie. She was perfect with her long legs, curvy body, plump bosom, and breathtaking features. She was the epitome of a Greek Goddess and I always did think that if she and Edward mated there off spring would be nothing, but perfection.

I loved running my fingers through her long blonde hair and looking into her gray eyes they always made me feel so safe. She was a tough girl too, but far more feminine then me and I think that's what I liked most about her besides her tongue and kissable lips. She would always call me out on my shit, but she had this vulnerability about her that reminded me of myself, the old me, and it both scared me and intrigued me.

We weren't officially an item, but had been hooking up ever sense sophomore year and after my college graduation she started to get pushy for a relationship. I was still hesitant, but one phone call from an old friend back home took all the hesitance away and I was ready to commit. Needless to say it was Alice who called and invited both me and whomever I would like to bring over to her new place. She was finally graduating from design school and she wanted to celebrate with a big party. I was really very reluctant to agree, but I knew that I owed after I missed her fathers funeral and it had now been five years sense I had been home. I missed her dearly.

The only problem was Edward, I didn't want to see him and I didn't want to deal with the past shit that never got resolved, but I figured if I gave into Rosalie's plea of commitment then I would have her with me for support. I never spoke to Edward past that fateful day and the only mentions I had heard of him were from Alice mostly letting me know he was in and out of rehab again or that he managed to fuck yet another bosses wife and daughter. His reputation from what I knew of consisted of drugs, alcohol, and man whoring.

When I called Alice with the news that I would be coming with a date and a friend she seemed overjoyed and begged me to stay at her new place. I agreed, but let her know that I would only be able to stay for two weeks and that I did not by any means want to be left in Edwards company alone. I knew it was unavoidable not to see him, but if I was going to be near him it would be in supervised visits and in small dosages. I never did tell Jasper or Rosalie about Edward and I knew it was wrong, but I lived my life like he didn't exist and that was what I would continue to do.

Rosalie was actually pretty eager to meet Alice and so was Jasper. I knew by some of the pictures I had shown him of her that he was doomed the minute he met her. So I was kind of happy to be able to introduce him to her because I knew she would like him just as much as he would like her. Now that I was officially with Rosalie not much had changed except of course her whole "I want your best friend to approve of me wardrobe" she was packing for our trip we had in the next twenty four hours.

Rosalie usually had this I don't give a shit attitude and I liked that, but when she got like this over one of my friends I couldn't help, but become a commitment phobe all over again. "Rose babe you are killing my buzz here walking around like you got to look perfect when you already are perfect. Just relax and give me some love already."

I was lying on the bed in just my underwear and bra waiting for a fully clothed Rosalie to come and give me some love, but apparently she had other plans. "Bella darling while I am glad that you like the way I look your friend is a fashion designer so wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt aint going to cut it. I need to look good and besides it wouldn't kill you to maybe think about investing in a dress. You could always borrow one of my dresses and I bet you would look so fuckable in it. I'm getting wet right now just thinking about you in one of my babyphat dresses." She looked up at me with pouty lips and hooded eyes and I couldn't help, but groan.

She really was dripping sex appeal and I would do just about anything to make her smile, but getting all girly was where I cut shit off. "As much as I love your little sexy pout, the dress just aint going to happen. Sorry babe. Now if you want me to help take care of that wetness you talked about earlier I would be glad to."

She rolled her eyes, but immediately stopped packing and crawled her way over to me like a lioness waiting to conquer her prey. I smiled as she straddled my hips and cupped my face bringing her lips to mine in a heated kiss. Her tongue traced the out lines of my lips and I welcomed the wet warmth in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around hers with a passion that grew with every lingering touch of her body pressed up against mine.

"I need you baby take off your clothes and strip for me." I begged.

She pulled herself off of me and I made quick work of taking off the remainder of the clothes I had on while I watched her slowly strut her stuff in front of me taking her time as each piece of garment flew off. I was practically panting by the time she was completely naked in front of me and when she got on top of me and I felt her chest against mine I let out a strangled moan.

"Tonight is about you Bella not about me so let me make you feel good ok darling?" I whined a little at the thought of not being able to please her, but the minute her mouth latched onto my nipple all thought process left me.

As she suckled and nibbled on my left nipple and massaged my right breast I couldn't help, but arch my back into her mouth. Sensing my need was becoming more unbearable she kissed her way down my stomach nibbling on my hips as she descended further down. At this point I was bucking my hips up and groaning for some friction and when I felt her hot breath on my aching core I couldn't help, but shudder.

"Please Rose, please I need you." I pleaded as I bucked my hips to her face and she smiled up at me.

"What do you need Bella, tell me what you need? Don't be so shy darling." She smirked up at me as I groaned in frustration.

She loved to tease me and she knew that shyness was still there under the surface, but I knew the moment I said those magical words she would give me what I wanted. "Please I want you to taste me. I want to cum on your tongue."

Without further ado she pulled my thighs further apart and dove in licking up my slick folds with an unrelentless force. I could feel her tongue swirling around my hole and then she brought her mouth up to my clit. When she sucked on my clit and inserted a finger inside me I almost came undone. I was so close to release but I needed more and I knew the only way I would get it is if I told her.

"More Rosalie. Another finger. Suck my clit harder baby." I screamed and she didn't disappoint.

She added another finger and sucked my clit hard even nibbling on it and I withered underneath her as I came hard screaming her name in my release. Two things about Rosalie she was great with cars and even better with her tongue. The woman left me breathless and satisfied in a matter of minutes. I didn't know if I loved her, but I knew that I cared about her so I was almost happy to bring her home to meet the family so to speak. Only problem was I hadn't exactly come out to Alice or my dad for that matter, but I figured they would accept me once they got to know her. I had met Mrs. Hale on more then one occasion and she was cool with Rosalie being bi, but I didn't know if my dad would be so cool with me addressing myself as a lesbian.

I sighed as Rosalie came up to lay herself next to me and our naked bodies cuddled into one another. "You do know that your meeting my dad too, right?"

"Oh my god Bella now I need to repack my whole wardrobe. Why didn't you tell me sooner. This could take a while." She said as she leaped out of bed leaving me naked and alone in my post coital bliss.

Yeah things were going to be interesting when I came home to Forks, but I wasn't going to let a certain bronze haired god ruin me this time. I was finally normal, I had a beautiful girlfriend, two best friends, and a career path I was just stepping into. Nothing and no one would bring me down not even him.

Authors note: I have the whole story outlined and yes Bella will be a bitch to Edward. I mean usually in fan fiction she's either playing hard to get or giving into him too easily. I kind of wanted her to be the unobtainable one in this situation. I don't want her to fight for him, I want him to fight for her, and she's not going to give in so easily, but that doesn't mean there wont be some hard scenes in the mean time. Sexual tension here we come. Oh and there will be lemons. I don't know if you guys like this and I don't know if I will do much Edward point of view because personally I really like doing Bella more. As far as Rosalie she is not gay she is bi and like Bella she has her reasons for being with a female. Don't worry I didn't forget Emmett either. Oh and in case you did not know Bella is not a lesbian she just refuses to let herself love anyone, but Edward and she can't let herself be intimate with another man because that part of her will always belong to Edward even though she never got to have it. One final thing I hope that didn't escape your notice Bella refuses to dress up for Rosalie, but she did it for Edward so you can see where her heart still is. REVIEW EDWARD POINT OF VIEW NEXT AND HIS TAKE ON THINGS. SO READ AND REVIEW. I ALREADY HAVE TWO MORE CHAPTERS WAITING IN THE WINGS AND IF YOU REVIEW I WILL UPDATE FASTER. SORRY FOR LONG AUTHORS NOTE.