Disclaimer: I do not own JONAS. Blah blah blah, you know the drill.

Heh, I thought I'd try my hand at a JONAS fic, so here I am. There will be small or not-so-small hints of Joe/Stella. :) I'm sorry if some of the stuff ain't funny. It's kinda late. And 'sides, it doesn't really help with Joe's a Disney star, and I can't go all out. *sighs* And that promise ring. That ruins so many jokes.

Anyhoo, this will be a multi-chapter, so be sure to vote on which numbers you want me to write a chapter on.

I hope you like it, though!

50 Things Joe Lucas is Not Allowed to Do

1. Show up at a costume party wearing a leotard, tights, and heels, waving his left hand and claiming that he is a single lady.

2. Give secret nighttime tours of the JONAS firehouse to rabid fangirls so they can spy on Nick and Kevin as they're getting ready for bed.

3. Purposely make Macy faint and then give her a "famous Jonas Makeover" when she's passed out.

4. Wear his mum's underwear on the outside of his pants and claim it gives him special powers.

5. Cut off all of Nick's hair and sell it on eBay.

6. Try and sell Frankie on eBay.

7. Just… don't let Joe go on eBay.

8. Giggle incessantly every time someone says the words "bootie" or "duty."

9. Convince Kevin that the elderly principal with the long, white beard is Dumbledore.

10. Convince Kevin that the tall, flat-nosed bald math teacher is actually Voldemort.

11. Convince Kevin that, despite Dumbledore's sexual preferences, their principal and math teacher are not shagging each other due to a long rivalry and sexual tension.

12. Replace all of Nick's hair gel with straightening serum.

13. Rant for five hours on how the kids should just give the damn bunny its Trix…

14. …and then proceed to feed Kevin's bunny Trix cereal saying that it proves the commercial wrong.

15. Bring Macy to one of their movie premieres and sic her on pretty-boy Rob Pattinson…

16. …or Chad Dylan Cooper.

17. In fact, Joe is not allowed to bring Macy to any movie premieres.

18. Barbie dolls are not an appropriate mascot for JONAS, no matter what he may think.

19. Steal his father's cell phone and call the location of their next concert to have them decorate it with pretty pink unicorns.

20. Perform the "Hoedown Throwdown" on a lunch table in the middle of the cafeteria.

21. Put up mistletoe in the doorway of the girls' locker room with a hidden camera.

22. Claim to have replaced Stella as the groups' stylist and proceed to dress Nick and Kevin as Hannah Montana for their next concert.

23. Sell pictures of Nick and Kevin's baby years to the female population of their school.

24. Shave off Kevin's sideburns and draw on his face with marker while he's asleep.

25. Paint Nick's nails a bright and gaudy color while he's asleep. (Though he has found that hot pink does go well with his complexion.)

26. Try to get his name legally changed to Edward Cullen…

27. …And then sprinkle glitter on his face in order to live up to his name.

28. Hog the bathroom every morning and saying he needs to get in touch with his feminine side and must take longer on his hair.

29. Accuse a random bystander (no matter the gender) of sneaking in his room and sitting on his bed in nothing but sexy lingerie.

30. Answer every question on a test with, "Only God knows," no matter how religious he is.

31. He is not the father of anyone, no matter what Star Wars might say.

32. Steal his mum's tampons during her time of month and draw faces and whiskers on them, claiming they are little mouseys and say, "No, Mom! The mouseys deserve to live, not be drowned!"

33. Go up to the incoming freshman and convince them that Nick has a thing for younger women…

34. …and clown suits.

35. Sign all of his papers as "Joe, the Sex-ay Thang."

36. Snap his fingers in a Z formation.

37. Go up to random people and say, "Oh, no, you did-n't!"

38. Go up to random people and say, "Girl, puh-lease!" even if they are male.

39. Draw faces on fruits and try to start an evil fruit army…

40. …and claim that the Almighty Fruit Tree told him to do it…

41. …and proceed to make them attack Kevin.

42. His mum, Stella, Macy, and the principal do not appreciate being asked if they've gained weight.

43. Dress up as the school mascot and crash Kevin's pep rally.

44. Take a toaster and load it up with bread, pretending it is a machine gun and shoot his family with said bread.

45. Ask Stella if she enjoys making his pants so tight that he can feel them sucking him in.

46. Show up at a concert wearing makeup and responding that he needed them to go with Stella's pretty-boy clothes.

47. Speaking in a British accent and saying phrases such as, "'Ello, guv'ner," and "That was a bloody brilliant job, mate!"

48. When studying Romeo and Juliet, Joe is not allowed play the part of a "valley girl Juliet" with Kevin being his "pimp Romeo."

49. Announce to the entire student body that he has a curly hair fetish…

50. …and then proceed to sniff Nick and Kevin's hair.

"There!" Stella smiled triumphantly as she finished the last rule with a flourish. Capping the pen, she turned to Kevin and Nick, raising an eyebrow as she waited for their opinion. "Well? What do you think?"

"I think that pink isn't really Nick's color. I say he goes better with warm colors, like a deep red," Kevin spoke up, still not tearing his eyes away from Stella's list.

"I don't see the point of this," Nick admitted with a shrug. "He'll just do all of it anyways once he sees it."

Stella smile faded slightly at the mention of this. "Well. Maybe he'll be nice and not do it?"

"You still have that hope, and you've known Joe for how long?" Nick raised an eyebrow.

"Well… we can always pray he won't find it." The blonde gave a shrug. She set the list down on a coffee table as she began to fix her lipstick. "Besides," she said after capping it, "it's not like it says that he has to." Maybe Joe had grown out of his rebellious stage, Stella added thoughtfully.

Kevin snorted. "Yeah. And maybe Joe really is Edward Cullen," he retorted with an incredulous scoff.

Stella was about to say more when she was interrupted by Mr. Lucas's call for the teens to meet in the living room to begin their meeting. Sighing, she followed the guys to the where the meeting was to take place. As she was leaving, she didn't see Joe getting up from his spot on the couch and following her out.

Joe passed the coffee table, and his eyes lingered on the piece of paper his brothers and best friend had been whispering about for the past hour. 50 Things Joe Lucas is Not Allowed to Do, it read.

Raising an eyebrow, he picked up the paper. As he read it over, a smirk overtook his face. Oh, he would have fun with this.

Footsteps sounded closer and closer and Stella soon appeared in the doorway. She had no doubt come back for her forgotten list. Her expression suddenly morphed into fear as her eyes landed on the list clutched in Joe's hands.

Meanwhile, Nick and Kevin had come up to see what was keeping Stella when they saw Joe's smirk and the paper in his grasp. Their expressions quickly mirrored Stella's, and only one thought crossed all three of their minds.

We're screwed.

I had fun writing this, and I hope you had fun reading it. Lol, I'm praying that it at least brought a smile to your face. ^^ Anyhoo, don't forget to vote if you review or PM which number you want me to write a chapter on first! (I'm starting with ten chapters first.)

Feedback and votes are appreciated!