Credit to the Schwann & Robin Thicke…

Lost Without You

Originally Published 07-04-07 and finished 11-23-07

Well… after reading a review from my favorite reviewer Jennifer, I had an epiphany and realized what a colossal Douche-bag I am being. See, there are two kinds of reviewers: Those whom you are grateful for and those you respect and Jennifer is BOTH. So, when I got the most depressing (YES J, you depressed the shit out of me) review because I went power crazy and started deleting stories like the trigger-happy dude I am, I realized that maybe leaving them up won't be so bad. I just hate having finished stories because I thought they were done and useless. I honestly didn't even think about how much I love to read old stories that are my favorites and how other people might do that too- LOL!

So, I'm reposting because I was here and I don't need to erase my existence because I'm done with a story…

These Edits & RePosts are dedicated to the only person who call me on my bullshit!

I promise to stop deleting shit because something about screwing over Pucas and Pukers (Pucasers) just melts my Heart! LOL! Enjoy Homies… (And don't worry, the story is already complete but My document thing is already filled)

Toddian

Ps. This song used to be my Jam in the 07... Reminded me of my Baby Then & Now!

(P)rologue: Amnesia of Why

In L. A. Peyton and Lucas share a comfortable apartment. They moved in together about two years ago and have been living "happily"- a somewhat over exaggerated word- ever since!

-x-

"Brooke! I didn't mean that...Hello?"

Dinnn… The phone's dial tone filled the blonde's ears with a nagging buzzing sound. A lingering yet constantly static-like noise grated the male's eardrums from the receiver. It wasn't painful but rather drew him in magnetically whilst evermore irritating. Still, the brooding author pressed the mechanism closer into against his right ear, blonde straggling curls resting against the plastic phone handle. Dinnn…

Lucas Scott's empty left hand snaked through golden locks impatiently. The entire world drowned out with thoughts of offending one of his best friends and up-and-coming designer Brooke Davis. Even in the years after their breakup he still managed to hurt her. Dinnn… Vibrations began to smother the thoughts running through his head: Was she going to stay mad at him? Why hell had he even said that?

Wait, did she just hang up on him?

"Brooke? Well goodbye to you too!" Lucas retorted candidly to himself. He didn't need her but he sure could use her friendship. Cerulean irises dimmed in retrospect of the altercation that had just taken place. Damn. Damn. Damn. Tugging at his hair, he attempted to pull out the patches or anything to rid his shame and guilt. "Ugh, I'm so stupid!"

Firm hands slamming the house phone down towards it's black cradle. The butt of the phone rammed into the structure and nearly cracked the foundation, CLACK! A boisterous clatter echoed throughout the moderate Los Angeles loft apartment. Sound seemed to bounce off the crimson walls of the comfortable home. He hated the red color and the memories they held but Peyton adored strange setting. Thus, the reddish hue was splattered throughout the apartment in both the conjoined living room and kitchen.

"WAS THAT BROOKE?"

"Huh!?" The blonde jumped slightly at the sound of Peyton's voice.

Flaxen lashes blinked The thin blonde swept up behind him quickly before he had time to catch his breath. Circling her arms around his waist, she laid a mass of curls against the mold of his back. With the simple contact, he stiffened in distain and they both could tell of his discomfort. His black Armani suit scrunched as Lucas pulled out of his fiancée's arms. Shaking his head, the blonde narrowed his eyes, "What did you say?"

"I said-" Her hands immediately left his body for her sides. Two long limps dangled beside the hem of her large blue dress. No curves, no shape, she couldn't pull off the look at all. Hell, the style didn't fit her but she was accommodating to his wants and needs… never her own. "I said was that Brooke but more importantly, what is wrong this time?"

"My life," Pursed lips mumbled under his breath. Peyton leaned in closer, "What did you say?"

Part of him, the more sordid and vindictive persona, wanted to speak ill to her and to take out his aggression at the road his life was paving. But another kind characteristic couldn't purposely hurt her. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure, "Yes that was Brooke and no, nothing is wrong. So, what's did you microwave for breakfast? I'm starving. "

"I haven't bought any groceries, actually?" The tortured blonde drew her hands to her curly mane. Brittle fingers twirled around the hairs. An uneasy smile crossed her face but her fiancé frowned. Boney shoulders shrugged, "THUD needed me to interview…"

Of course. Of course, she put THUD Magazine over him and everything else. Selfishness knew no degree with Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. Grhl, Muscle spasms churned his stomach into a sudden rumbling. Before he knew it, the Brooder had completely fazed out of the conversation. It wasn't until more words spilled from her lips that he woke up, "We could just talk and grab breakfast at a Café. I can go shopping later today."

"Ah, you said you were going to go shopping two days ago." Lucas let out an annoyed groan, hand flinging up to silence her. "And why can't we just do like usual and not talk. Talking only leads to fighting and I don't want to fight, Peyt."

Open mouth, insert foot!

"Lucas Scott," The infamous shriek of the devil came out of the angry blonde. "We never get to fight or talk because you're always working or writing or watching television? And now you're going on that book tour! Always busy...So Why can't we just sit and talk like regular people do?"

Okay, now she wants to bring up regular people. Puh, as if they were even regular in the slightest. Annoyance flared up in him rather quickly.

"Well regular people don't go over the same crap over and over and over again!" Lucas said twirling his index fingers in the air. Pseudo happiness pushed his sarcastic stance into a full fledge condescending rant, "Gosh golly gee, I just might die of boredom with the conversations that we have?"

She should smack him but didn't have the guts for fear of losing him. The feminine blonde stared at her masculine counterpart currently being an ass. Somewhere along the way, Lucas Scott had lost the part of him she loved the most. "Why don't you like talking to me, Lucas! This stuff bothers me and I need to talk about it."

"Does it have to be all doom and gloom all the time? Everything is about how much bad stuff has happened in our lives. Maybe I want to live in the future for once."

"Lucas, I don't always talk about doom and gloom. We talk about all our feelings and now I want to talk about this!" Peyton said, thrusting up her left hand. A platinum band wrapped around her ring finger. "I want to talk about what this ring means."

"So…"

"Do you remember when you gave this to me?"

There was silence, a truth bearing silence in fact. Honestly, Lucas couldn't remember giving Peyton the ring unless he was highly intoxicated. And since he wasn't even sure he had indeed proposed, the author wouldn't have been surprised if Peyton had told him they were married. However, he figured he would remember that now… wouldn't he?

They must be engaged.

"Lucas Eugene Scott! Tell me you remember!"

And when all else fails: lie, Lie, and LIE some more. All other choices would result in a fight, maybe a few objects aimed at his head. The entire conversation was a trap and he walked directly into a bear trap. Playing completely, stokehold dumb was definitely the best avenue here. Shit, it had worked all those times before-???

"Yes." Meekness collapsed his vocal box until a small squeak answered. Peyton's mouth dropped open in anger, "You're such a liar!"

"Oh," The corners of thin lips rounded into a 'O' shape. The need to escape cumulated in a irate throbbing against his temples. Lucas looked down at his watch, sighed and grabbed his briefcase from the counter. Peyton glared at him, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Well...umm, see I have to go to work."

"Are you kidding me?" Peyton placed her hands on her hips. That jerk seriously thought he could lie his way out of this situation? Curls bounced near her shoulders with the shake of her head, "It's nine o'clock and you don't have to go in until twelve!"

"Well Peyt, duty calls."

"No," Peyton lunged at the briefcase in the masculine blonde's hands. Surprised, Lucas stumbled away but was trapped between his fiancée and the countertop. Her hands grabbed hold of the paper compartment and she tried to tug it out of his hands but he held on. "Let go!"

"Ugh, no! You let go!" Lucas yelled back. Muscular arms flexed a little bit of energy to keep himself stably attached but remained at ease. "You let go right now, Peyton!"

Stick thin arms tugged again but her bedmate didn't budge. Instead, he tried to pull it out of her hand but long fingers suctioned to the briefcase. In a do or Die moment, male hands completely abandoned the case. Suddenly, Peyton's body stumbled backwards. Almost all of her balance slipped away as high heels scrapped beige carpet floor. Catching her balance, Peyton exclaimed, "Ugh, why did you let go!"

"Because you told me too!" The Brooder pushed his hands into the smooth pockets of his dress pants. His fiancée couldn't understand his logic, "What is wrong with you! This briefcase, work, is it all more important than me, huh?"

Blue eyes darted up and down at the angry woman. She was pissed off or maybe beyond that. Grr, Peyton was growling with spite. She lifted the briefcase high in the air and slammed it onto the counter. Lucas watched in horror as peyton repeatedly banged the briefcase against the counter until it burst open. Papers flew out everywhere, documents spraying all over the floor.

Boiling- His temper rose within a flash of the thought. Resentment gathered and muster up from his belly into this mouth. Fist clenching, the blonde demanded, "You're going to pay for that with your own money!"

"Oh, I'm shaking in my boots," Sarcasm boomed from Peyton's voice, "Like I can't afford it!"

"This is ridiculous. I'm tired of this!" Booming and sizzling with disgust, his voice was incomparable. Every portion of his body shook with rage. "What is the point anymore! What it the point!? I'm tired of it all!"

"So am I." Peyton screamed, taking off the ring and throwing it at him.

It spun, circled approaching his body fast and hard. Yet, he didn't even try to catch it or make a motion to hold once more. Lucas let engagement ring bounce off his chest and hit the floor. Carpet cushions allowed the ring to rest and both green and blue eyes stared at the simple of their love. Perhaps it was where it belonged, on the floor like rubbish. Liquid flooded green eyes with tears. Peyton turned away from him.

"So this is it huh?" Nastiness poisoned the question. He felt like crying, should be crying but no tears would come. He had lost the ability to cry, it seemed. "You want to leave, after all the times I fought for you?"

The words were filled with such conviction that he almost believed them. However, evidence always proved that he never fought for her. NEVER. But what was a lie compared to Loneliness? Peyton kept crying, more tears, more tears, too many tears. The skirt of the dress whipped around as she turned to face him, "No...I'm not leaving you. I just think we need a break."

"A break?"

"Yeah, we should call off the engagement!" Sniff, She sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her right hand. "We can go back to being girlfriend and boyfriend until we work this out!"

NOW HE WAS SUPPOSED TO RUN TO HER. That was his cue, his part to play in their Epic love story. Peyton expected him to make a speech that would change her mind. He had always fought for her or was that she fighting for him while he chased after Brooke? Well, perhaps fight for her this time but he didn't. For the second time in his life, Lucas Scott was speechless. He didn't say anything- not one single word.

Through he did walk pass her and grab his mustang's keys from the dish near the door, "I'm tired of being a hero."

And with those six words, he left.

~To Be Continued~

Happy Reposting and Much Love Homies,

-Toddian