Dedicated to DisforDasey who is awesome, splendiferous, spiffer-tastical and many other effusive words and puts a smile on my face every single time. I hope you like it. :)
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Playlist – Dido- Sand in My Shoes.
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Carpe Diem.
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He'll have you know, that being The Chad Dylan Cooper, he had faced many insurmountable obstacles along the way and well…surmounted them.
That Marc Malkin baboon from E! said he couldn't act for peanuts when Mackenzie Falls started. Twenty Emmys later, Marc was eating dirt and Kristin Dos Santos loved him and thought he was absolutely wonderful. Damn right he was.
Then there had been Jake Ryan, Hannah Montana's besotted boyfriend with a much too big mouth. Chad didn't have any beef with him. But Jake had made it personal by dissing Mackenzie Falls on Doprah and even worse, he had dissed Chad's spectacular head of hair. Jake Ryan said he had flippier hair and that it was real blonde unlike someone else's, mainly, Chad Dylan Cooper's. He, Chad Dylan Cooper then pulled off the coup de grace of the century, at least in his opinion by proving that not only did he have flippier hair than Jake Ryan, but he also revealed that Jake was helped by a little friend called peroxide.
Who's laughing now huh, Ryan?
You mess with the Cooper, you get the, er…horns? (If there's another word, please let him know, horns is just so cliché)
So you see he had a lot of experience surmounting insurmountable obstacles. But there was still one obstacle which kept holding him back from establishing himself in the annals of fame and glory for ever.
He had to kiss the girl.
Well, he had kissed girls but they kind of paled in comparison to the one he had to kiss now and more importantly the one he wanted to kiss now. Sonny Munroe.
Yes, Sonny Munroe of So Random!, that annoying little show which he liked to call Chuckle City. Yes, Sonny Munroe of Wisconsin and its infinite cheeses. Yes, Sonny Munroe of the bouncy hair, sparkly eyes and toothy grin.
Chad Dylan Cooper was madly in love with The Sonny Munroe of all these above attributes.
Could you blame him? The first time he had seen her, Cupid had knocked him flat on his back with nary a warning. After that he had tried, oh he had tried so hard to seize the day and kiss the girl, except something or the other kept happening. It was like the fates didn't want him to kiss her.
Could it be possible that the fates nursed a humongous crush on him, he mused. He then smiled. In this world anything was possible and maybe the fates hadn't been able to resist his so darn adorable chocolate boy good looks. That was a definite possibility.
But if even the fates couldn't resist him, then why was Sonny resisting him? It just didn't seem right and to his credit, he had tried until he wanted to drop dead from exhaustion. Okay, not exactly drop-dead because then the world would miss a most brilliant personage, but you get the point right?
Here were a list of his almost kisses with Sonny Munroe. The only blemishes in his so far illustrious life which so far been dotted by awards, titles of best hair, most winning smile, best tortured teen, hottest actor to burn up the screens and many more things.
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1. First Attempt.
This seemed like it had been going well but the end had been tragic and harsh, one which he hadn't expected at all. This was the first time a script had failed him.
Marshall had put them together in a sketch and there had been a kiss and he had been making such headway in bringing Sonny over the Chadside where people were so in love with him and couldn't resist a taste of his raspberry flavored lips, that he was sure all would go well and he would finally be able to kiss the girl.
Unfortunately that stupid pig had shot all of his plans to hell. He had leaned in to kiss her and instead out of nowhere, the pig had come flying and landed on the very prettily dressed Sonny's lap, therefore causing him to kiss the pig and not her.
She had laughed and merrily skipped away after that but he had gone outside, angsted and raged to the fates about how the whole world was against him. And besides, he had kissed a pig, how gross and humiliating was that, no would ever know or even comprehend.
That was one incident he couldn't wait to forget in a hurry and also he brushed his teeth a gazillion times just to get the taste of pig out. He shuddered as he thought about it. He devoutly hoped that he would encounter any more pig-kisses ever in his life.
The taste of pig was simply horrible and very hard to get rid of.
2. Second Attempt.
This time he had really thought that this time, he would be able to kiss her. Once he kissed her, then he could show her that he was all kinds of wonderful and then they would live happily together and some have very cute Chad/Sonny babies. Of course, that was just a thought and he assures you, he never really thought of it, except in passing and maybe an eleventy-billion times. Of course he kept stuff like that on the down low because everyone didn't need to know that he was a slave to Sonny Munroe. Tawni Hart already knew and she was already proving notoriously hard to bribe. He kept trying to make her forget but even bribing her with her out of production lipstick, Coco Moco Coco wasn't working. Tawni steadily avoided him and popped up once in a while to tease him mercilessly. It was becoming very trying and that day he even found a wrinkle - gasp - on his forehead. All because of evil Tawni Hart and the amount of worry she was causing him.
Oh sorry, he got a little carried away with Tawni. But never fear Tawni had also been a part of this disastrous attempt. See, James, Tawni's ex boyfriend or as she called him, the Perpetrator of Polyester Pants' eyes had landed on Sonny. And he had been intrigued by Sonny's prettiness and Sonny feeling flattered and all had gone out with him. Tawni had tried to tell her that James was bad news and a perpetrator of the even now and forever awful Polyester Pants. But Sonny didn't want to listen. So Tawni in desperation approached him and though he pretended he didn't care, he obviously did care and then he accompanied Tawni to the arcade where Sonny and James had gone for their fake date.
They managed to break it up and Tawni took Sonny aside to explain why James was Bad News.
In the end, Sonny had come to her senses, thankfully, though it made him a bit jealous that she would fall for James even though James was the more inferior of the both of them and he, Chad Dylan Cooper was definitely the very definition of awesome. But maybe Sonny wasn't seeing how he shone brighter than the sun and he could always excuse that. In due time, Sonny would know of the awesome-ness that was Chad Dylan Cooper.
In the meanwhile, he got to fake date her and call James out on his man-whore ways.
To his surprise, the fake-date went pretty well and from the way Sonny was laughing he could tell that she was enjoying herself. It was then that James interrupted. Usually he would have been annoyed by James interruption or anyone's interruption for that matter but this time he welcomed it because James asked them to prove their date by kissing.
It was like a dream come true except Sonny had to go and crush it later on by saying that it was fake because she put her hand over his mouth and kissed him, therefore making the kiss a not-kiss.
Foiled again and this time by The Girl herself. That was irony in all of its dramatic glory. Just like that one episode of Mackenzie Falls where he was going to tell Clara he loved her and wanted to be with her despite all the issues surrounding them but it turned out Clara loved his best friend and wanted him to tell his best friend that she loved him. Well, you see what he meant right?
That day he had gone home and in a fit of anger, slashed pictures of himself, staring forlornly into the night. Of course later on he had been horrified and signed up for anger management classes. He couldn't go around slashing pictures of his face, that was simply not done. He needed other forms of angsting so he went and drowned his sorrows will about a gallon of Tropicana Berry Punch.
Afterwards, his puke was maroon berry colored and it was not a pretty sight.
So he decided the next time he needed to angst, he would just go out into his balcony and stare broodingly into the darkness and maybe even let a solitary tear slip down his face while he held a glass of apple cider in his hand.
Yeah, that was definitely a better way to angst.
3. Third Attempt.
It seemed like fate liked dangling almost opportunities in front of his way. Did they enjoy the way he brooded after not getting his kiss? Was it not enough that he played a tortured and angsty teen on Mackenzie Falls. This didn't need to transcend into real life too.
See this time; he had come ever so close to kissing Sonny.
He held her in her arms and they had been standing in the meditation room of Mackenzie Falls, looking deep into each other's eyes. He didn't know how they got there or how they had even come into this whole kissing business but why question things when everything was going so swimmingly well.
He had been so close that he could see the pupils of her eyes widen as his face inched closer and he could smell the sweet scent of her orange blossom perfume. His heart was thrumming with happiness and he was mentally thanking the fickle fates for finally letting him kiss the girl.
Sonny wove her arms around him and he sighed in happiness, leaning even closer, just waiting to kiss soft pink, delectable lips when suddenly everything disappeared and the lovely Sonny evaporated and he fell out of his bed, with his pillow smushed into his face.
It had all been a dream and he had been erm, kissing his pillow which was sprayed with Sonny's wonderful orange blossom perfume. And it wasn't even remotely stalker-like, going out and buying her perfume and spraying his favorite things with it just so that they smelled like Sonny. So dont judge him, okay?
How utterly droll, note the sarcasm, please. Even in his dreams he couldn't get the girl.
//
There were many more attempts other than this but he didn't want to bore anyone or make himself feel even worse by thinking of all the failed attempts. Chad decided, the time had come to Do Something. Something proactive.
What was Latin phrase again which is Grandpa used to keep sprouting. He thought hard, going into thinker mode and sitting on his arm chair and posing artistically. The morning light filtered into his room, setting it aglow. In order to do stuff, you had to get down to the nitty gritties of it, and get in the zone, be in the mood. It definitely made things easier that way, when you were in the right mood, everything around you aided you.
Yeah, he got it.
The phrase was, 'Carpe Diem.' It was a Latin phrase and it meant seize the day. In order to get something you had been wanting for a long time, you just couldn't sit around and wait for it to happen. You had to work hard for it, in essence, seize it and make the damn thing yours.
He couldn't wait for fate to bring Sonny close to him so that he could kiss her and embark on a glorious relationship with her that would end in happiness, rainbows, a plenty of awards, and of course plenty of cute babies but please , for the love of Chad Dylan Cooper keep that on the down low. He didn't need people to know that he had already picked out names for their babies, Lily for the girl, Nicholas for the boy and Ziggy for the dog they would have.
Yeah, he was such a sap and so in love with Sonny Munroe that he already had an imaginary future planned for them. And it was not like he was pursuing a lost cause here. He knew that Sonny despite all her dislike of him, actually liked him. The fake date had proven that. She had enjoyed herself just as much as he had. And in the pig debacle sketch, she had definitely fallen for his raspberry flavoured lips. And besides, she had admitted that one of his eyes was sparkly.
They did have something, except Sonny seemed more scared than him to act on it. He couldn't blame her; he didn't exactly come across as the best person. But for Sonny he could be. He could be everything for Sonny.
Okay, he had been seeing one too many cheesy movies.
To put it plainly, he would do everything he could for Sonny and if that meant being a better person, he would do it, except he'd put his own Chad spin on it. Cause then only it would be fun. Being a good two shoes all the time was no fun and he had a need for drama in his everyday life.
Now excuse him, he had to go seize the day.
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He marched up to the So Random! set and strode all the way to their prop room, where all the members were rehearsing for a sketch. The moment he entered the room, everyone dropped their scripts and went on their guard at once.
However he was on a mission and didn't notice any of that. He strode up to Sonny, took her in his arms, dipped her and kissed her soundly on the lips, oblivious to the shocked gasps all around and Sonny's own gasp which he had kind of eaten up with his kiss.
A second pass before Sonny's hands wove around his neck and she began kissing him too. He smiled against her lips, feeling a pleasant electric buzz run through his body. The kiss was everything he ever dreamed off and on Sonny's lips he could taste every happiness in the world like cotton candy, rainbows, sunlight and blue skies and so much more.
It was all so wonderful and magical.
Sonny finally broke off the kiss and he pulled her back up, both of dazed, flushed, breathless and smiling like they had just won the Emmy for best show.
"What was that about?" Sonny asked, her eyes a little unfocused but smiling pleasantly.
Chad grinned before saying, "I just seized the day." Then he strode out of the room, leaving behind shocked cast-members and one very happy Sonny Munroe.
//
"Did Chad Dylan Cooper just molest you?" Grady burst out as soon as Chad left the room, having just found his tongue which until now had been tongue-tied due to the head-scratching spectacle he had just witnessed.
"About time he did," Tawni said, grinning cheekily. Nico and Grady stared at her as if she was mad but Tawni continued smiling, sitting down on the couch and examining her nails. Giving up on her as a lost cause and realizing that they would get no more out of her, they then turned to Sonny who was still smiling pleasantly, with stars in her eyes.
"Oh, he can seize me anytime he wants," She said sounding dazed and happy before dropping onto the couch next to Tawni and leaning her head on Tawni's shoulder and sighing happily.
Outside, one very happy Chad Dylan Cooper, smiled so wide when he heard that. That was exactly what he needed to hear. And then he smiled some more as he remembered what he had accomplished.
He had finally done it.
He had kissed the girl and seized the day and taken destiny into his own hands. Mission accomplished.
Now he could comfortably think of cute babies, smell orange blossom perfume and dream of a happy future with Sonny.
Life was good.
I own nothing but the plot. :)