HOWDY Y'ALL

I'M JUST HERE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT

TIMECOCK IS CANON AND NOTHING HURTS

"OH DOCTOR" The master screamed and she fucking slammed the Doctors body against a concrete wall, successfully dislocating several bones. Thankfully, he was only critically injured. She ripped off the Doctors dumb jacket. He shivered.

"Master please, what are you doing. There are children watching and also Clara is right here." He stammered. Master laughed in his face.

"Oh PLEASE. Like Clara can form a coherent opinion of what's happening right now. She's a female character written by Moffat so she's not terribly intelligent." Master said. The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn't that logic apply to you as well then?" The Doctor asked. Master paused for a moment, and then shook her head.

"Of course not my dear Doctor. My character has been well established for decades. Now hush up and let me continue ravishing you."

Master tore Doctors shirt off and fucking carressed him goddamit. She grabbed his dumb head and began to make the fuck out with it. There was a lot of tongue involved. Perhaps too much even. That's a lie. There wasn't too much tongue. There was tons (tongues haha) of tongue and it was FUCKING AMAZING and they both loved it and you know what? so did I. I was there. I was standing there watching them fucking make out and it was all good because guess what? It happened in the show. It happened in the show and it was real and it really really happened and it was incredible and I saw it happen. I made it happen.

Eventually, the two of them stopped making out because their tongues got cramps and they figured that was probably a good sign that it was time to call it quits. For now.

"So, may I ask what brings this sudden bought of affection on?" Doctor asked.

"We're canon now so I figured it was time to celebrate." Master explained. Doctor nodded. A celebration is exactly what this called for WOO.

"Okay well what's a good way to celebrate besides making out? I'm also going to rule out having sex because now we are capable of producing offspring and I don't think either of us want to take that chance. Also Peter Capaldi is really old and I'll probably break a hip if I have sex" Doctor said. Master shrugged.

"I guess we could get drunk and visit some random planet and cause some trouble on it." She suggested. Doctor shook his head.

"No see I'm sort of opposed to the trouble-causing part. We could rescue a plant instead maybe?" he said. Master pouted.

"Well that's boring for me!" She said. Doctor sighed. Coordinating their outings was always a bit difficult.

"Okay how about this: I close my eyes and count to twenty. You go off and find a planet to conquer or set on fire or what-have-you, and when I reach twenty, I'll shout READY OR NOT HERE I COME and then I'll try to stop you."

The Master seemed to consider this for a moment and then she grinned.

"I like that idea. Okay you turn around and start counting"

The Doctor did as she said. Because he always did. Because he's the submissive in this relationship unless we're talking about Simm!Master in which case the Doctor is the dom because Simm is a precious baby. But the Doctor being the Dom is really more of a "bottom from the top" sort of situation. And Simm!Master would never fucking admit that he's the sub so he acts all big and tough outside the bedroom. But the second they're in bed it's just "Oh wah wah you left me on gallifrey alone" this and "You've let me die several time" that and there are tears and crying and it's all very complicated. The two of them should probably go see a therapist or something about their sex life because it's really fucked up.

"18...19...20! READY OR NOT HERE I COME!" The Doctor shouted. He turned around and saw that the planet he was currently standing on seemed to be on fire.

"Oh fuck me, she's quick." Doctor grunted and he ran off to stop whatever evil deeds the Master had managed to get up to in twenty seconds. Which, considering her track record, could be an awful lot.

I literally just updated this fic because the Doctor and the Master kissed in canon and I cant even handle myself right now.

I'm so happy it's insane.

Toodles~!