Here is yet another Transformers crack fic that was originally a text message roleplay between Himeno24 and myself! Twice as long as "Fanfemmes, Sparklings, n Jazz", and double the crack! Note that this was not written with plan or on purpose. It sort of just.....happened. This story can also be found on deviantART under the pen name charlietheunicorn711.
Also let me note that in this one-shot: Bumblebee is adopted by Ironhide (inspired by Karategal), though he is a grown mech here and not a sparkling as portrayed in Karategal's stories. The main pairings are (m/m): Prowl/Jazz, Barricade/Bumblebee, one-sided Megatron/Optimus, Soundwave/Blaster, Thundercracker/Skywarp, and implied Rumble/Frenzy (inspired by Black Dragon Queen's "Cover Me"). The lone OC pairing is (m/f): Frost Burner/Skyrizer. (both belong to me: Hallas). Couples with sparklings: Prowl/Jazz = Techno (Techno belongs to plantman-exe on deviantART), Barricade/Bumblebee = Astrobolt (Astrobolt belongs to me: Hallas). Soundwave/Blaster try for and are expecting a sparkling, Frost Burner/Skyrizer are trying for sparkling, and Megatron/Optimus are…semi-trying for a sparkling. Techno is about 1 and Astrobolt is basically a newborn. (In human years, not vorns cuz I can't compute vorns.) There is implied PDSB (Public Display of Spark Bonding) and mpreg (mech pregnancy). The wonderful ideas of carrying and carrying holds belong to Litahatchee. The inspiration for the Barricade/Bumblebee recording belongs to d34thn0te on deviantART.
Now before you go and read, here are the credits of the original characters/ideas that found their way into the conversation: Lunarflare and Frost Burner's design belong to Himeno24. Frost Burner, Skyrizer, Astrobolt all belong to me: Hallas. Techno belongs to plantman-exe on deviantART. The idea of carrying and carrying holds belongs to Litahatchee. The Barricade/Bumblebee recording as envisioned in this fic belongs to d34thn0te on deviantART. Karategal's stories and Black Dragon Queen's "Cover Me" are also main inspirations.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TRANSFORMERS AND AM NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OUT OF THIS STORY! THIS IS PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT! SO YOU NO SUE! KAPEESH?
Megatron: Here! I have come to get my revenge!
Starscream: *sigh* Here we go again…
Frost Burner: What am I doing here?
Skywarp: I dunno. Boss's orders. *flies off*
Barricade: *looks for Bumblebee*
Frost Burner: AHA!!! I KNEW YOU LIKED THE AUTOBUG, CADE!!! *pumps fist in the air* Oh look, Skyrizer!!! *goofy grin*
Barricade: What?! Nonsense! I would watch what you say, you little-
Lunarflare: Aww, what's wrong boys? Having trouble? Right? *looks to Skyrizer and Bee*
Bumblebee: *heat levels rise upon seeing Cade*
Skyrizer: Aww, Bee! You never told me you had a mechfriend!
Bumblebee: What?!?! Uh, no! He's not-! We're not-!
Frost Burner: Cade stutters when talking about your Autobug too! *spoke only to get Skyrizer's attention*
Barricade: Frost Burner… *venomous glare*
Frost Burner: *snaps out of Sky-induced trance* …Oh slag…
Lunarflare: *sighs* I don't know what's more entertaining: Fighting Cons or watching them bicker.
Skyrizer: I agree. More fun to watch.
Frost Burner: You can watch me as long as you like, sweetspark. *wink*
Barricade: HEY! LESS FLIRT, MORE FIGHT! *cough* Sorry Bee. *cough cough*
Megatron: Decepticons! ATTACK!!!
Frost Burner: *completely waves off Meg* Oh, come Cade! It's not as if I've never heard you and Autobug "fight" before! Sounded like fun to me! *wink*
Lunarflare/Skyrizer: Kyaaaaa!!!!! Really?!?! Did you get any recordings?!?!?!
Bumblebee: *dies of embarrassment*
Frost Burner: Yeah, I may have one recording. But…it's gonna cost you. *sly grin*
Barricade: You wouldn't dare-!
Lunarflare: What do you want?!
Frost Burner: Hmm…a kiss from Skyrizer or yourself. *wink*
Lunarflare: What do you say, Sky?
Megatron: This is a battle! NOT A SOCIAL GATHERING!!!
Starscream: Well…it's more interesting than fighting.
Barricade: Frost, I'm warning you-!
Frost Burner: Aw, Cade, you always get owned by me. Albeit not like the Autobug owns you *winks at Bee*, but-.
Barricade: *outraged* Do NOT wink at him!
Frost Burner: See?! Overprotective mechfriend! *smirks triumphantly*
Barricade: W-w-what?!?!
Bumblebee: *still speechless*
Lunarflare: HERE'S YOUR KISS!!!!
Skyrizer: Slag the kiss, I'll be your femmefriend!!
Frost Burner: Really?!?! *happy grin*
Lunarflare: Oh Bee, if Hide could see you now! *smile*
Megatron: *gawk*
Starscream: *smirk*
Megatron: What in the name of Primus are you all doing?!
Starscream: Well, this really is more interesting!
Bumblebee: Don't tell Ironhide!!!
Starscream: *gawks at Bee*
Frost Burner: Wowza! A kiss from Lunar and Sky as my femmefriend?! Here is your recording, ladies!
Lunarflare/Skyrizer: THANK YOU!!!!
Barricade: FROST BURNER!!!!!!! *brings out weapons*
Frost Burner: What? You're the one who was giving Autobug the googly eyes when we got here! Excuse me for stating a fact!
Barricade: *charges cannons*
Bumblebee: Lunar! Sky! PLEASE don't tell Hide!! Cade'll get blown up!
Lunarflare: So it IS true?! You ARE together?! *fanfemmeish victory dance*
Starscream: It speaks! *pokes Bee*
Skyrizer: *watching recording* Kyaaa! Lunar, look, they're cuddling!!!!
Barricade/Bumblebee: WHAT?!?!?!
Megatron: *smacks forehead* I'm surrounded by idiots…
Starscream: Wait, wait!!! Lemme see, lemme see!!!!
Barricade: Nooooo!!! He'll blackmail me!!!!!
Lunarflare: Kyaaaaa!!!! Awww, so cute!!!!
Skyrizer: Look at them-! Whoa! *noseplate leak*
Frost Burner: I enjoy doing business with you ladies. *wink*
Barricade: FROOOOST BURNEEEER!!!!!!
Megatron: *sigh* Slagging adolescents….Soundwave! Help!
Frost Burner: Oh SLAG!!! I gotta get outta here!!! *runs*
Barricade: Yeah, you better run you sorry excuse of a Decepticon!!!
Frost Burner: Barricade and Autobug, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N- *booooooom*
Barricade: I'M GOING TO DISMANTLE YOU!!!!!!
Lunarflare: *still watching recording with Sky* Kyaaaa!!!!
Skyrizer: Bee! You make such cute sounds when Cade-!
Bumblebee: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! PUT IT AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Starscream: Damn Autobot femmes won't let me see!!!!!
Megatron: Primus…if you exist…I swear I'll be a good little mech if you take me now…
Soundwave: You called, my Lord?
Megatron: *gawk* What is that?! *points behind Wave*
Soundwave: What is what?
Megatron: *rubs optics to make sure he's seeing correctly* THAT!!
Blaster: *peaks out from behind Soundwave* Uh…hi there!! *waves*
Lunarflare: Kyaaa! Soundwave and Blaster! So cute!!
Skyrizer: Squeeee!
Barricade/Frost Burner: *temporarily distracted* WHAT?! YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER?!?!
Starscream: What? What am I missing? Wait! The femmes are distracted! Time for me to take a peek at-!
Bumblebee: Nooooooo!!!!!! *tackles Starscream*
Soundwave: Blaster. My mate. Is there a problem, Lord Megatron?
Megatron: Primus or Unicron, I don't care who…someone just KILL me now!
Starscream: Damn Autobot!! Let me see the recording! This could be a vital weapon against that slagger Barricade!!
Barricade: *distracted from his Frost hunt yet again* HEY!!! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SLAGGER?!?!
Frost Burner: Slagger indeed. *smirk; looks at Bee* And let's not forget the slagged. *wink*
Bumblebee: W-W-WHAT?!?!?!
Lunarflare/Skyrizer: Kyaaaa!!!!!! *both slip into involuntary recharge due to energon loss*
Starscream: Aha! Thank you Frost for distracting the bug! *snatches recording* Now let's see…HOLY PRIMUS!!! *gape*
Barricade: Wha-? *turns to look at Starscream* NOOOOO!!!!!!!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!!!!
Megatron: *pokes self* I'm still here…SLAG!!!! I KNEW YOU TWO DIDN'T EXIST!!!!! *shakes fist at the heavens*
Blaster: Uh…Wave… *pokes Wave and points*
Soundwave: Hm? *looks to where Blaster is pointing* My Lord…I believe we have another problem at hand…
Megatron: *momentarily snaps out of his despair* Huh? *looks to where Blaster and Wave are pointing*
Ironhide: WHAT IN THE FRAG IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!
Bumblebee: Now MY life is over!!!! *teary optics*
Starscream: HOLY PRIMUS, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING, CADE?!?! *oblivious to Hide's arrival and watching recording*
Ironhide: What are you all watching over there?
Bumblebee: NO!!! DON'T LOOK!!!!
Megatron: Primus, kill me now…let me join the Matrix….
Lunarflare/Skyrizer: *still in involuntary recharge*
Frost: *looks at the femmes at his feet* I could run off with them now and no one would notice. *evil smirk*
Soundwave: Calculation. Do not try.
Blaster: Jazz will get your aft if you do.
Frost Burner: Hmm…very true…and if Jazz is slagged off, then that means Prowl…*deflates and cringes* But hey! Sky DID say she'd be my femmefriend in exchange for that recording! *perks up*
Blaster: I'd like to see you get Prowl to believe that. *shaking head*
Soundwave: I agree.
Starscream: *smirk* Wow Autobug, I never knew you had it in you to let Ca-
Barricade: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ironhide: WHAT?!?!?! That recording is about Bumblebee?!?!?! Give it here, you pit-slagging Con!!!
Bumblebee: Nooooo!!!!!! Hide! Don't!!!! *looks around frantically for a distraction* Look!!!! It's Megatron!!! Blow him up!!!!
Megatron: *doesn't look up from crouched position on the ground* Please do…
Ironhide: *balk* You WANT me to shoot you?!?! What's ON that recording?! *makes for Starscream again*
Bumblebee: *desperately shouts the first distraction that comes to his processor* I LOVE YOU HIDE!!!!!!!!!
Barricade: WHAT?!?! I thought you only loved ME!!!
Everyone: *awkward silence*
Bee: Ironhide?
Ironhide: *blink*
Barricade: Well frag.
Megatron: *looks up* Oh now you're slagged…
Bumblebee: *stunned silence*
Barricade: Oh Pits…
Ironhide: *slowly raises cannons* What…did…you…SAY?!?!?!
Barricade: I…uh…well… *slowly backs away*
Starscream: Oh now THIS is gonna be good. *takes a seat on a boulder*
Megatron: Primus, kill me…kill me, Primus…PLEASE. Oh please, oh please, oh PLEASE kill me!
Soundwave: Prepare for a mass explosion.
Blaster: Uh…we should run. Quick!
Jazz: Hey, what's going-? FROST BURNER!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO LUNAR AND SKY?!?!?!
Frost Burner: Oh Pits…
Jazz: LET GO OF MY FEMMES, YOU SLAGGER!!!!
Techno: *from inside Jazz's carrying hold* Slag! *claps*
Frost Burner: Take Lunar! Skyrizer's my femmefriend!!! *tosses Lunar to Jazz and dashes away with Sky*
Jazz: What?!?!
Prowl: What on Cybertron is-? JAZZ!!! I thought we went over this!!!
Jazz: *looks at Lunar in his arms* SLAG!! Prowlie! This isn't what it lo-!
Techno: Slag! Slag! *claps*
Prowl: *gape*…JAAAZZ!!!!!!
Soundwave: *catches an abruptly thrown Lunar*
Blaster: *looks on as Prowl chases Jazz, Techno squealing happily from within Jazz's hold*
Techno: Powl and Ja play tag!!! *twitter*
Megatron: *in sparkling position on the ground, rocking himself* This is all just a bad data file…a bad data file… I'll snap out of recharge any minute now…
Starscream: This just keeps getting better and better!! *big grin*
Barricade: *backing away from a murderous looking Ironhide* Uh, Bee? Hey Bee! Now would be a good time to snap out-!
Ironhide: YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO HIM!!!!! *charges cannons and takes aim at Cade*
Barricade: SLAG!! BEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bumblebee: *snaps out of it and dives in front of Cade* WE HAVE A SPARKLING!!!!!!!!!
Everyone (Barricade included): *double take*
Starscream: …Heyyy!!!! Old Hide's a grandmech!!!
Barricade: *sparkstunned* …We have a WHAT?!?!
Lunarflare: *awakens upon hearing "sparkling"* You're CARRYING, Bee?! When's the sparklingshower?!?!
Ironhide: I...you…me…grandmech? *in denial*
Jazz: Oh goody! Techno will have a playmate!
Prowl: Does…not…compute…!
Blaster: Hey Wave, we should have a sparkling too!
Soundwave: Acknowledged.
Megatron: *stunned silence*
Starscream: This is better than a human soap opera! *big grin*
Barricade: I…we…you… *points disbelievingly at Bee's midsection*
Bumblebee: *opens carrying hold to reveal a tiny sparkling*
Lunarflare/Jazz: Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Prowl: …Jazz, did you seriously just "Kya"???
Sparkling: *blinks optics at sudden blinding light; sees Barricade* Twitter! Chirp! Squeak! *reaches imploringly for Cade*
Bumblebee: Aww, Cade, how cute! He knows you! Meet Astrobolt! *coos at sparkling*
Ironhide/Barricade: *faint*
Astrobolt: Click! Squeak! Squawk! *looks down worriedly at his mech creator*
Starscream: *rises from boulder* You think Cade would have felt the little glitch tugging on his spark. *kicks Cade questioningly*
Bumblebee: Uh…you see…Astro hasn't attached to his spark yet. *sweatdrop, soothes his agitated sparkling*
Starscream: Ah. *nods matter of factly*
Lunarflare/Jazz: We are SO planning a sparklingshower!! *grab each others' hands and dance*
Lunarflare: And Sky too!!
Blaster: Aww!!! Wave, I want one too!
Soundwave: …Try for one now?
Blaster: REALLY?! *grin*
Megatron: *looks at cannons and contemplates suicide*
Prowl: Oh, wait til Optimus and the others find out…
Jazz: Oh, this will be great! We need to invite EVERYONE!
Barricade: *half conscious* Everyone?!
Lunarflare: Yeah! Autobots AND Decepticons!
Prowl: WHAT?!?!
Ironhide: *still in involuntary recharge*
Starscream: Well, it IS a sparkling between a Bot and a Con.
Soundwave: *sneaks away from the group with Blaster to make a sparkling*
Megatron: That's it! I'm leaving!
Starscream: Never! *grabs escaping Meg*
Bumblebee: Hey! You've recovered! Come on, open up! It's your turn to carry Astro, my spark needs a break!
Barricade: Wha-? Wait! But I don't have a- *Bee opens his hold* -carrying hold…
Lunarflare: Aww! How sweet! A Con carrying a sparkling!!
Jazz: Never thought I'd see the day! *pulls out Techno from his own hold* Look, sweetspark! Your new playmate!
Techno: Play! Play!!
Prowl: Does…not…COMPUTE!!!
Megatron: Let go of me, slag you!! Let me go in peace!! You can take over the Cons for all I care! The universe has already gone to the Pit as far as I'm concerned!!!
Starscream: Really?! You mean it?!
Jazz: Hey, where'd Wave and Blaster go??
Prowl: You do NOT want to know…
Frost Burner: *reappears with Sky in tow* Yo! *goofy grin*
Skyrizer: What'd we miss? *peeks at Frost and blushes*
Lunarflare: *looks back and forth between them, then to where she last saw Wave and Blaster* Hey Jazz, I think we're going to have three Con/Bot sparklingshowers to plan.
Ironhide: *recovered* WHAT?!?!
Megatron: *doom*
Astrobolt: Chirp! *claps*
Optimus: What is going on over here?! Why has everyone stopped fighting?
Jazz: Optimus! Bee and Cade have a sparkling, Sky and Frost are together, Blaster and Soundwave have gone off to make a sparkling, and Ironhide is a grandmech! *proud grin*
Prowl: *processor fritz*
Starscream: And I am now the leader of the Decepticons!! *maniacal laugh* For my first order: EVERYONE HELP PLAN THE SPARKLINGSHOWER!!!!!
Megatron: Optimus…help… *looks at Prime with evil gleam in optics*
Optimus: *gawks at Jazz*
Jazz: *thinks* Actually…I think Frost and Sky might have already tried for a sparkling too. *wink*
Frost Burner/Skyrizer: Hey!/What?!
Starscream: *happy dance* Mwahahaha! I am the leader of the Cons!!! Finally!!!!
Bumblebee: *hands a twittering and happy Astro to a still sparkstunned Cade*
Astrobolt: Click! Chirp! Twitter! Buzz! Click! *hugs Cade*
Barricade: *gape*
Bumblebee: *coos* Who's a happy little sweetspark? You already seem to know, but this is your other mech creator! You look just like him! *kisses Astro's tiny head*
Barricade: *blinks and looks at his sparkling* Yeah…he DOES look like me. *smirk*
Bumblebee: *looks at a gaping Hide* And that's your grandmech!
Ironhide: This can't be-! I'm really a-? To a half Con-?!
Jazz: It's okay, man. Shocked us too. *pats on back*
Lunarflare: *notices how Meg is looking at Optimus* Does this mean we're going to have four Con/Bot sparklingshowers? *hopeful look*
Optimus: What? Megatron and I? No!!!
Prowl: I surrender. *faint*
Lunarflare: Hey! He did it again, Jazz! *giggle*
Techno: Powl go boom!! *clap*
Jazz: *coos* Yes, Prowlie went boom again, brightspark!
Megatron: *looks at Prime like he's high grade energon*
Frenzy: *arrives with Rumble* Primus help us! Boss is-!
Rumble: Great. We're gonna have another sibling.
Lunarflare/Skyrizer: Yaaaay!!
Techno: Hee hee hee!
Astrobolt: *content buzzing*
Barricade: In you go, brightspark! *places Astro in his hold*
Ironhide: *still in disbelief* My grandsparkling is half Con…
Bumblebee: *pats on back* You can carry him later if you like. To get used to the idea. You better get used to it. Looks like more half Con sparklings will be running around soon. *looks to where Wave and Blaster disappeared and at Frost/Sky and Megatron/Optimus*
Optimus: *notices Bee looking at him* WHAT MAKES YOU THINK MEGATRON AND I ARE-?!
Megatron: COME HERE, YOU SEXY PRIME!!!!! *pounce*
Rumble/Frenzy: And here we go. *optic roll*
Jazz: Hey!! PDSB!!! That was Prowlie's idea!!
Techno: Yay!! *clap*
Lunarflare/Skyrizer: WE DECLARE THIS DAY NATIONAL CYBERTRONIAN YAOI DAY!!!!!!
Starscream: What's "yaoi"?
Frost Burner: THIS is yaoi. *shows Starscream forgotten recording again*
Starscream: Ohhhhhh!
Soundwave: *returns with Blaster in tow* Acknowledged. Sparkling made with Blaster.
Blaster: I'm gonna be a mama mech! *dreamy grin*
Lunarflare/Skyrizer/Jazz: Kyaaaaa!
Optimus: *while fighting off an electrified Megatron* WHAT IN THE PIT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!?!?!?!?!
Lunarflare: Simple. All of you are finding your loves, which means you should end the war.
Jazz: Yeah! For the sparklings' sakes!
Soundwave: I agree. A peaceful atmosphere is good for sparklings.
Starscream: I must…agree. *still reeling from the recording*
Skywarp: *out of nowhere* Yeah, because I'm carrying too. Thundercracker and I are bonded. *grin*
Everyone: WHAT?!?!
Frost Burner: Heyy!! There you are, Warp! I was wondering where you flew off to! *claps Warp on the back*
Skywarp: Oh, yeah, sorry about that. *sweatdrop* Thundercracker and I-
Prowl: *revived and anything but groggy* STOP RIGHT THERE!! YOU WILL NOT CORRUPT THE SPARKLINGS ANY FURTHER!!!!
Lunarflare: But you were the one who wanted to publicly spark bond with Jazz that one time! *smirk*
Optimus: *did not witness this event* You WHAT?!?! *still fighting off Meg* Hey, a little help over here! *is ignored*
Techno: Techno too, Techno too! *cheers*
Prowl: *horrorstruck*
Jazz: It's true, babe, it's true. Poor Ratchet never recovered from that one!
Bumblebee: Whoa, déjà vu! I could have sworn I had a dream last night about being there to witness that event…only I was a sparkling. How bizarre…
Optimus: Somebody help me!!!!
Megatron: Oh you are NOT getting away from me this time, Orion!
Jazz: Sorry, Boss, but it's time for this war to end. Make sparklings, not war!
Starscream: Well…at least now we know who tops in this relationship. *smirk*
Prowl: Does…not…COMPUTE!!! *processor fritz*
Techno: Powl go boom 'gain! *clap*
Ratchet: WHAT IS GOING ON OVER HERE?!?! Why is everyone having a processor fritz?!
Jazz: Hey! Hatchet lives! And don't worry, everyone's just following me and Prowl's footsteps and procreating for the world to see. *wink*
Optimus: Ratchet! Help! I'm about to be raped!!!!
Megatron: Mwahahahaha!!!! ORION IS MINE AT LAST!!!!!
Ratchet: *optics widen considerably* Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! I just deleted this horrible memory!!!!!! *runs away with teary optics*
Jazz: HEY!! ARE YOU SAYING MY SPARK IS UGLY?!?! *outraged*
Lunarflare: *snicker*
Optimus: RATCHET!!!! NOOOOO!!!!! DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Megatron: Mwahahahaha!!! Prepare to become MINE, Prime!!!! *gleeful laugh*
Starscream: Let's pray that Prime just goes with it. Meg has been after him for FOREVER.
Jazz: Really now?
Skyrizer: You recording this, Lunar?
Lunarflare: Saving it to my CPU!
Ratchet: All you young ones are crazy! *throws wrench at Cade*
Barricade: Hey! Watch it, you crazy-!
Ratchet: *death glare*
Bumblebee: Cade…back…away…slowly…
Astrobolt: *from inside Cade's carrying hold* Click! Click!
Ratchet: Wait! What was that?! *gawks at Cade's midsection*
Bumblebee: Oh, that's right! You haven't met Astrobolt yet! Cade, open up!
Barricade: No wrenches!! *glares at Ratchet before producing Astro, hold turned away from the psychotic medic*
Astrobolt: Click. Twitter. Chirp. Squawk. *angry at Ratchet for throwing the wrench at Cade and making his sensitive audio receptors buzz*
Frost Burner: Hey! Whaddya know! He's a chip off the old Con! *claps Cade on the shoulder*
Ironhide: Bee!! What have you been teaching my grandsparkling?!
Optimus: *slaps Meg* WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS!!!!!
Megatron: My Orion! MINE!!! *evil cackle*
Ratchet: *processor fritz*
Techno: Atch go boom too!! Like Powl!!
Astrobolt: *approving click*
Barricade: That's my little smartspark! *triumphant grin*
Bumblebee: *coo*
Lunarflare/Skyrizer/Jazz/Blaster: Kyaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Skywarp: *claps hands over audio receptors* Gaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Optimus: HELP MEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Megatron: *throws Prime over shoulder* Mine mine mine!!!
Ironhide: *outraged at being ignored* WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING MY GRANDSPARKLING?!?!
Jazz: Reminds me of the good old days! *reminisces*
Ratchet: *sparkling position* Don't remind me…
Frost Burner: Wow, look at Meg go!
Everyone: Bye Optimus! *nonchalant wave*
Optimus: TRAITORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Megatron: YES!! FINALLY!! HE SHALL BE MINE!!! MINE!!!!!!
Skyrizer: You're SO sending us all copies of this recording, Lunar!
Lunarflare: Only if your mechfriend over there shares "The Making of Astrobolt" with the rest of us. *wink*
Ironhide: What?! THAT'S what was on the recording?! Bee!! I taught you better than that!!!
Bumblebee: *dies of embarrassment*
Frost Burner: *smirk* Processing file…
Barricade: Frost Burner, don't you dare-!
Frost Burner: File sent. *grin*
Barricade/Bumblebee: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Astrobolt: Chirp??
Everyone's CPUs: You've got mail.
Ironhide: What in the blast is-? *opens file…gawks…faints again*
Techno: More boom boom!!
Starscream: Yes. More boom boom. Oh, if only you knew, little glitch. *snicker* If only you knew.
Astrobolt: *looks at his creators' petrified looks* Chirrup! *clap*
Jazz: *watching forwarded recording* Heyyy! That's pretty kinky!
Skywarp: No wonder Astro's so healthy, look at you two go! *wink*
Blaster: Hey! This must mean our sparkling will be extra healthy, Wave! *coo*
Soundwave: Affirmative.
Prowl: *finally onlines his voice capacitator* Please…PLEASE, can we just stay on a need to know basis??? *groans*
Techno: Powl!!! *climbs onto Prowl's shoulder*
Optimus: *a short distance away* YOU TRAITORS!!!!! AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU!!!!!
Megatron: Time to make our own sparkling, Prime!! *pounce*
Optimus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lunarflare/Skyrizer: Kyaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Jazz: Whoaaaa! Not even Prowl and I are THAT bold!
Starscream: I told you he was repressed. *snicker*
Prowl: *glances at Optimus and Megatron* Noooooo!!!! Must protect Techno!!!!!!! *tosses said sparkling in his carrying hold*
Techno: *from within Prowl's hold* Hide and seek, Powl??
Bumblebee: *shielding optics* Uh…Cade, I think it's time for Astro's afternoon recharge.
Barricade: *shielding both his and Astro's optics* I wish I could join you in hiding, buddy. *grumbles but puts twittering little mech into his hold*
Ratchet: I see nothing…I see nothing…
Soundwave: *averting his gaze* Perhaps we should leave them be?
Jazz: Party at our place!!!
Blaster: Ooh, I'm in charge of music!!
Skywarp: I'm game!
Everyone: Later Optimus!
Optimus: *dead silence*
Everyone: *worried glances exchanged amongst each other*
Frost Burner: *matter of factly* Either he's dead, we're dead, or the war's over.
Bumblebee: *looks down at still unconscious Hide* …Hey Cade! Gimme a hand over here!
Everyone: *heads to Jazz and Prowl's place*
Lunarflare: Remember, no high grade for the expecting! That means you too, Skywarp!
Skywarp: Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!! *pout*
Thundercracker: *having just arrived* Don't worry, I'll watch him.
Soundwave: Rumble, Frenzy. No high grade.
Rumble/Frenzy: Aw man!!!!!!!! *mope*
Frost Burner: And that's how the energon cube crumbles. *toasts his high grade to Warp, Rumble, and Frenzy*
*BANG*
Everyone: *looks up from partying to see-* Optimus?! *gawk*
Optimus: *livid with rage* You…all…LEFT ME!!!!! *raises gun*
Jazz: Uh…B-Boss??
Prowl: Uh oh.
Lunarflare: Uh, guys…I think…maybe we should run…like…NOW.
Barricade: I agree! *grabs Astro and backs away towards the door*
Megatron: *stumbles in after Optimus* Now THAT is what I call sparkbonding!!
Jazz: Hey Prowlie, you got the sparkling?? *backs away from Optimus slowly*
Techno: *from inside Prowl's hold* Techno here!!
Bumblebee: Hey Hide…now would be a good time for your hel-
Ironhide: *death glare* I do hope you weren't going to ask for my help, because you sure as the Pits aren't getting any! You've already corrupted my poor little grandsparkling with Con nonsense at his young age! This calls for some punishment!! *charges cannons*
Frost Burner: Slag. Well that's not good. *eyes the two enraged Bots and inches towards the nearest exit*
Skyrizer: *seeking shelter behind Frost* Uh…Ratchet? You think you could-?
Ratchet: I see nothing… I see nothing…
Thundercracker: Now would be a good time to share any bright ideas!!!!
Rumble: Frenzy…you thinking what I'm thinking??
Frenzy: Yup…Operation…SCATTER AND RUN!!!!! *makes a mad dash for the door*
Everyone: SLAG!!!!!!!!!
Optimus/Ironhide: *BOOOOOM*
Frost Burner: Don't worry, Sky! I'll protect you! *grabs Sky in his arms*
Lunarflare: Hey! What about ME?! *dodges blast*
Jazz: Don't worry, I've got you!
Soundwave: Blaster, get behind me.
Thundercracker: Warp, run! Run!!
Ratchet: *snaps out of petrified trance* HOLY PRIMUS!!!! *dives under desk for cover*
Optimus: YOU'RE ALL SCRAP METAL!!!!!!! *explosion*
Ironhide: OFFLINE, SLAGGING CONS!!!!!!! * bang*
Bumblebee: Cade!! Help get the sparklings and expecting out of here!!!
Jazz: You too, Prowl!!! Bee and I will distract them!!! Take Lunar!!! *launches her at him*
Lunarflare: HEY!!!!!
Optimus/Ironhide: *sickening BOOOOOOOOM*
Ratchet: *bursts out from underneath the desk* OPTIMUS!!!! IRONHIDE!!!!! YOU TWO DID NOT JUST BLOW UP MY MED BAY!!!!! *ominous electrical charge*
Optimus/Ironhide: *snap out of energonlust, casting horrified looks at the smoldering med bay* …slag.
Ratchet: I'm. Going. To. Offline. You. BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *lunge*
Optimus/Ironhide: RUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: *blink*
Jazz: …We're saved!!!!! We're alive!!!!! *kisses ground*
Frost Burner: And since there's currently no med bay, once Ratchet's done with them, it seems we'll temporarily be safe from the two behemoths. *grin* The key to survival here is to kiss up to Ratchet's aft until the med bay's fixed. *nods to himself*
Megatron: *emerges from the rubble* Wheeeeeeee!!!!!! That was fun!!!!! Opty mech!!!! I'll save you!!!!! *prances off towards the tortured cries of Optimus and Ironhide*
Frenzy: …Rumble…I'm scared… *shiver*
Starscream: This is why I'M the new leader! Haha! *punches fist into the air*
Lunarflare: I may not be a Con, but I agree. Starscream for leader! *Caramelldansen*
Frost Burner: Thank Primus for that! *shivers and deletes data of prancing Meg*
Jazz: But now we have a Hatchet on the rampage!
Barricade: Well, he's not mad at US for once. *referring to himself and the Cons* Why not just continue with the partying? *grins and bounces Astro*
Astrobolt: Squeak! *hugs Cade*
Lunarflare: Awwww!!
Skyrizer: Frost!!! I want one!!!!
Frost Burner: EH?!?!?! *is forcefully dragged off by a bubbly Skyrizer* Wait! I'm not ready to be a creator yet!!! We just got together!!! Hey!!! Sky, no!!!! *horrified*
Blaster: Well, he DID ask for it. *giggle*
Soundwave: Agreed.
Jazz: Woohoo, go get 'em cyber cat! Rawr!
Techno: Go, go!!!
Thundercracker: WARP!!!! I SAID NO HIGH GRADE!!!!!!!!
Skywarp: Awwww!!! *pouts*
Ratchet: *from a distance* GROVEL!!! GROVEL NOW!!!!!!!
Optimus/Ironhide: Groveling!!! We're groveling!!!
Ratchet: You call THAT groveling?!?!
Megatron: Heyyy! Thanks Ratchet!!! You got him on the ground for me!!!
Optimus: Noooooooooo!!!!!!!! Not again!!!!!!!!
Ratchet: You're welcome, Megatron. *evil smirk*
Everyone: *silence*
Rumble: …Well! Sounds like they're having fun!
Prowl: …We're all going to the Pit.
A/N: Close to a hundred text messages (20 pages on Word) between Himeno24 and myself. R&R!