Disclaimer ... as always I own nothing

There was nothing I could do, the pain rocked me to my very bones, no matter what I did or thought I did for that matter nothing made the pain ease. I can not even think about anything not the Cullens, not even Emmett, how long was it going to last days, months, years I don't know.

It was not soon enough I felt the pain begain to fade, just when I thought I was on the brink of insainity I started to feel ...better, almost weightless, free from the pain. It still seemed like forever before I felt myself move, but my movement was restricted as soon as I got my mind back I started to count seconds, mintues, and even up to hours, it was at my 3 hour mark were i felt my eyes moving under my lids.

Should I even try to open them, I guess better late then never, but what the hell am I going to see,what is going to be the frist thing my vampire eyes touch ...my mind was going a mile a second I can't even focus on one thing I was even still counting in the back of my head, then I did it, slowly at first I could see a slit of light, I blinked a few times as my eyes ajusted.

Then I saw him, my Emmett. His face just inches from mine, eveything came in clearer then I'd ever seen before I tried to sit up, as I did something hit me , my feet were not touching the floor, I started to panic, fuck... my body jumped I felt I needed to run of fight I was not sure what was stonger of an urge.

I spun back around and seen Emmett sitting there with his arms out, I put two and two together and it hit me, he was holding me, I think I just freaked him out cause very slowly he reached out to me, my eyes all of a sudden felt full, like i was about to cry but nothing came out. I rushed into his arms our bodys made a sound as they hit, I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could.

His body was welcoming, after a few very short seconds that felt like minutes he made a sound a sound like someone gasping for air, vampires don't breath, I backed away and looked at him with a look of confusion, he let out a bold loud laugh, what the hell was so funny?

Before I could even ask he spoke, so clearly I never really noticed till now how deep his voice really is, it gave me chills, good ones. "Bella, baby you can't squeeze me like that" he laughed again, " believe it or not you could break me" I looked down to my hands turning them over and over again, it was like a dream.

Soon after I awoke, everyone started to file into the room, Aro, Marcus, and Caius first, then Edward and Jane fallowed by Jasper, Carlise and Esme. Oh my god this was so overwhelming my eyes darted from everyone back to Emmett, looking into his eyes insantly calmed me, Jasper spoke up makeing my head spin to him,"Emmett you might want to take her out to feed I can feel she is under great stress" everyone even me looked to Aro, "yes yes do take her out" there was a tone in his voice that just did not settle well with me.

As we were walking out we walked past a glass wall, I looked over jumping as I saw red eyes. "Emmett..." I froze "baby its ok, its cause your newborn it will change over time " he kissed me ontop of the head and pulled at my waist.

We stepped into the crisp Itatly air, then it hit me like a shit ton brick...something smelled ...wonderful. I took off away from Emmett gaining speed every step, the closer I got to the smell the better it got. I came to a dead stop in some dark back ally there I saw her, she had been attacked and was bleeding from a wound on her belly, a deep growl came from somwhere deep inside me as I stalked her ...she cried out for me to help her in broken english, little does she know I am the farthest away from help she could ever get, but I would not show that.

As I reached her I took her into my arms and she weeped, all I cared about was the sweet smell, then I took her as my meal, my razor teeth ripping viciously at her frail skin. It all ended too soon, I was ripped from my meal I turned and hissed at who had taken me from this girl, my eyes got wide, I just hissed at Emmett.

I don't know if I fought him for the girl or because I was ashamed of what I did, either way I wiggled in his huge arms, we both fell to the ground. He did everything in his power to get me down he screamed at the girl in italian, I did not know and did not care really, once the smell of the fresh blood was out of the air I began to think straight again.

He just held me, till dawn he held me, kissing the top of my head every once in awhile. Finally we got up and headed back to the castle, I could not even look up at him once we got into the elevator he spoke in a very soft reasureing voice, " Bella its ok we have all been there don't beat yourself up ok, we will try again tomorrow night, and then I will make sure that does not happen again," as reasureing as his words were I dreaded the next time I am let lose on the dark streets.

We got back up to the main floor and thank god nobody was there, I was too ashamed to see anyone, but my luck ran out when Edward and Jane walked into the room holding hands, he looked at me with shock, what the hell can he read my mind? Jane spoke for them both, "Bella you are looking a wreck did we have some problems with our dinner, " she had a look I could not place on her face but Edward nudged her... I was like he did it for me to miss but I saw it. "Bella I think you should go clean up, maybe a warm bath you have been through alot in the last few days, " I guess he has a point, Emmett spoke before I did so I closed my mouth and looked up at him with my galreing red eyes. "yeah I planned on doing that thanks for the adivce now if you will excuse us" and with that he lead us away down a different hall.

The water was warm and inviteing, Emmett stepped out to give me some privacy, I wish I could sleep and this be just a nightmare, I almost killed someone tonight if Emmett had not been there ... I closed my eyes and all I saw was blood I jolted a little my eyes opening much for a soothing bath.

I ran some clean water after noticeing the water was pink from all the blood on me, I washed up and got out wrapping a towel around me. I looked at myself in the mirror and once more wanted to cry, did I really want this life, I started to doubt my desion.

There was a knock on the door, I knew who was on the other side, " come in .." he opened the door and moved into the fairly large room and sat on the side of the tube looking up at me. "Bella I know this is hard I have been right where you are, when Rose changed me, I went after the closest human, who happend to be my cousin Bradly, but Rose didn't stop me she just watched and justifed it by me being a new born, I am not going to say it was ok but it could have been worse, you didn't kill her."

I let that all sink in, he was not ashamed of me, " thank you for being there to save me from myslef" I moved over to him and leaned in kissing him ... let me tell you kissing is a whole new ball game as a vampire.

***Lemon Alert***

As we kissed, I felt his hand slip around my waist under my towel, I quivered under his touch. I was the first to break away, in one swipe his shirt was in two peices in the tub, I felt every muscle, every contour of his body...studing him like a work of art, leaning in I took his face into my hands and slowly slid then to the back of his head where I then grabbed two fistfulls of hair pulling his head back a little bit I moved in kissing his neck.

With one movement of his hand my towel was in a pile around my feet, his hands moved from my waist down to my thighs, then around my body to the bottom of my ass lifting me up like I was a feather, I was now staddleing him, I could feel his massive dick though his pants, I pulled his hair harder as we both moaned in pleasure.

My legs locked around his waist and he stood holding me with one huge arm, and I clung to him as tightly I could with out hurting him, I smirked at the sheer idea. He pinned me to the wall behind me, I heard the stone crack under the pressure, I think that turned me on even more.

My lips conected with his again, I felt his arm that was not holding me up doing something before I could as he was burying his dick deep into me, this ...oh..my...god! pleasure burned though my body as he pumped in and out in a steady rhythm. My Nails raked his back as the stone wall behind me creaked and cracked more and more with every thrust, soon I felt the warm tighting feeling in my belly, I screamed out his name not careing what set of vampire ears heard me.

Once his name left my lips his body tenced as he was bought to his edge.

***End of Lemon***

Our lips parted slightly still touching barely his lips moved on mine as he whispered "I love you"