A/N: This will be the only time I annoy you with an author's note at the beginning. I don't own Star Trek, I don't make money off of Star Trek, and everything here is for fun and any views expressed are for the sake of the story and don't necessarily reflect my own. All in all, just your standard disclaimer. Enjoy.

"Well then…That was fun."

There was a collective, albeit tired, set of smiles and chuckles echoing softly throughout the ship's bridge. The only individual maintaining a neutral expression was Spock. He sat calmly at the science station and studied the young man softly swiveling back and forth on the command chair. He paused in his movements and spun around to face the science officer.

"What? You didn't think that was fun?"

The science officer crossed his arms speculatively and leaned back in his chair. Sweeping a hand in front of him to indicate the state of disarray the bridge was in, Spock answered,

"Fun would imply an emotive response to the current situation of which I do not have one. However, if I understand the implication behind such a word correctly, then I believe I can say that, in no way, have I found any part of this altercation 'fun.'"

James T. Kirk, captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise, was smug while the remainder of the crew watched on in mild amusement.

"Aw, come on, Mr. Spock. You can't deny there was a certain thrill to it all?"

Spock slowly nodded his head once as he processed the captain's irrelevant, but not wholly illogical line of questioning.

"If by 'thrill' you are referring to increased levels of hormones, particularly adrenaline, resulting in an increase in metabolic processes, then you are correct." said Spock in a matter of fact tone of voice. "However, it is illogical to assume that this 'thrill' would be equated to 'fun' for all parties."

Swallowing a laugh and schooling his expression into one of thoughtfulness, Kirk slowly rubbed his chin.

"True, you do have a point there, Mr. Spock."

"Of course, Captain." Spock replied confidently. "I also believe I have a valid, and logical, point when I respectfully tell you that you are a poor actor and I must inquire as to what purpose this conversation has served."

He cocked a single eyebrow questioningly at the captain who let loose a lazy, lop-sided grin.

"Do we really need a reason to talk?" Feigned innocence graced Kirk's features before shifting to one of mock indignation. "And what do you mean I'm a bad actor? I think I'm brilliant."

"Yeah, it was brilliant how I became a wall decoration. Dammit all, Jim, can't you keep this death bucket steady, and preferably with gravity? And before you say it, no, it was not fun at all!"

Kirk sunk into his chair a little further and had the decency to look faintly sheepish as he looked over at the turbo lift to stare into the disgruntled face of his chief medical officer. Doctor Leonard McCoy crossed his arms and glared pointedly at the captain.

"Sorry, Bones. I'll try to make our next escape from a singularity smoother."

McCoy ignored the sarcasm lacing Kirk's voice as he nodded his head in finality.

"Good, you do that." he said as he walked over and leaned against the side of the captain's chair. Then, he noticed the forward viewing screen and suddenly paled. "And what the hell is that?"

The bridge crew turned their attention to where McCoy pointed. A giant crack ran across the screen with a multitude of smaller, yet just as noticeable, cracks along the entirety of the ship's inner hull. Everybody stared expectantly at the doctor who continued to point at the cracks while opening and closing his mouth as he searched for his voice. Kirk was about to retort with a witty response, but was beaten to it by Spock.

"Those are cracks resulting from the increased pressure against the ship's hull as a result of our escape from the singularity. The differences between the inner and outer pressure-"

"Dammit, man, I know that!" yelled McCoy.

Spock tilted his head to the side ever so slightly as he studied the doctor.

"If you were aware of the cause behind the current condition of this vessel, it is illogical for you to demand an answer to your question."

While McCoy turned his acidy stare on to Spock, Kirk broke out into a full grin and was more than happy to explain.

"It was a rhetorical question expressing his disbelief. He's kind of an aviophobe."

Just as he predicted, Spock's left eyebrow shot upward and began examining the doctor with a critical eye reserved for only the most complex scientific puzzles.

"What are you doing on a starship?" Spock asked genuinely curious. Judging from the gleeful expression on Kirk's face and the dismayed and increasingly flustered expression on McCoy, there was clearly some sort of underlying humor he was not privy to. It made for a fascinating study of human interaction.

Of course, McCoy was neither amused nor fascinated with the situation. He swatted Kirk upside the head and pointed angrily at Spock who just watched him with his usual detached curiosity. Kirk chanced a glance at McCoy while ruefully rubbing the back of his head and could see the muscles of his jaws twitching from tension. Deciding that it would be detrimental to his long term health if he allowed this to go on, Kirk directed his attention to the science officer.

"It's kind of a long story…Just don't mention any type of ship damage like how we were close to being crushed and collapsing in on ourselves as we were pulled through the singularity."

Contrary to his resolve to not antagonize McCoy any further, Kirk could not resist one last stab at the doctor's phobia. From the way McCoy's eyes widened, both Kirk and Spock were certain that he was sufficiently spooked and just itching to take his anxiety out on somebody.

"Don't worry so much, doctor. As you can see, hull integrity has not been breached. Despite the damage, we are wery safe…Unless, of course, space debris hits the ship, but I am sure Sulu is capable of ewading it." Chekov, looking over his shoulder at McCoy, reassured him innocently enough, except the total effect was ruined by the tiny grin he was sporting.

Not even missing a beat, Sulu nodded his head earnestly and affirmed Chekov's declaration.

"Yeah, it's no problem at all." he assured the doctor with a smile. "Then again, if it got too busy out there, it would be difficult to maneuver with our limited power. If it came down to it though, we could send out a signal to Starfleet for support."

He nodded his head at Uhura sitting properly in her seat at the communication station, though her shoulders drooped ever so slightly in exhaustion. That, however, did not prevent her from joining in.

"Well, we're easily in federation territory and relatively speaking, near Starfleet command, so a message would successfully reach them." she thoughtfully tapped her chin, then added, "But if we were suffering damage, by the time the message reached Starfleet, the ship would have already be beyond help."

At this point, McCoy's hands were balled into tight fists at his side and he looked ready to explode. Kirk was preparing to calm him down, but before he could even begin to try to mollify the chief medical officer, Spock, however unintentional, drew the last straw.

"The probability of such a series of events occurring is so miniscule it is not worth determining the probability. Therefore, Doctor, I fail to see why you are behaving in such an illogical manner to a hypothetical situation."

Kirk pinched the bridge of his nose and resigned himself to an angry and bitter tirade against the bleakness and danger of space followed by a series of threats against the crew.

"I am not being illogical, you pointy-eared sonuvabitch!" McCoy yelled at Spock who appeared much more curious than insulted. Then, he whirled around and stomped over to Kirk who tried to push himself into the back of his chair in the vain hopes of disappearing. Jabbing a finger forcefully into Kirk's chest, McCoy growled, "As for you and your crew, expect a full physical in sickbay and so help me if none of you show up…"

He trailed off at the end leaving the final threat up to the imagination of the crew members. Glancing around and satisfied that he instilled the necessary fear into the bridge crew, McCoy nodded his head once in finality.

"Fascinating."

His head whipped around to Spock who leaned forward slightly as he scrutinized the doctor further. The inquisitive gaze was matched by McCoy's threatening one. When he opened his mouth to speak, Spock easily interjected,

"While your predilection for overreacting to non-existent scenarios merits further inquiry, Doctor, it is unproductive to continue in this manner. What is the original purpose of your presence?"

Throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, McCoy shook his head and growled obscenities before shaking his head and turning his attention back to Kirk, who was attempting to keep from laughing.

"Captain Pike wanted to see you," he poked Kirk in the chest and then pointed at Spock, "And you."

Kirk and Spock shared a quick glance, then stood up and moved quickly to the turbo lift, followed quickly by McCoy. Before the doors slid shut, Kirk shouted at Sulu,

"You got the conn!"

"Aye, sir." Sulu responded with a small smile and then turned his attention back to his console.

The doors shut with a hiss. It took a brief moment for the lift to come to a stop and the doors slid open to Deck 6, G Deck.

As they proceeded down the hall towards sickbay, both Kirk and Spock noticed the burn marks scarring the walls and the debris scattered around the floor. Sickbay was supposed to the safest section to be in a constitution class starship. Considering the extent of damage on the safest deck on the entire ship, it did not speak well for the remainder of the ship.

While the hallway was in definite disrepair, Kirk was relieved to see that sickbay itself was relatively unharmed. Nonetheless, it was not exactly how he ever wanted to see it. All available medical beds were filled with patients moaning in pain while many more were sprawled out on the floor with others leaning against the wall in an attempt to keep out of the medical personnel's way. Spare doctors and every nurse still capable of moving were skittering from patient to patient doing their very best to keep from joining the others on the floor, whether from their own injuries or exhaustion.

Off to the side in a corner was a solitary bed. A nurse was reading the life readings and when she was satisfied with the stats, she hurriedly ran off to check on another patient. It was to this bed that McCoy led Kirk and Spock.

As they approached, they could see the prone figure of Captain Pike. He was pale and looked as if he was barely breathing. When Kirk approached the bed, he did his best to not focus on the shallow breathing and dark stains bleeding around the corners of his mouth. Tearing his gaze away from Pike, Kirk looked to his side where Spock was standing.

His expression, as to be expected, gave nothing away and posture was proper though perhaps a little stiffer than usual. Hands clasped behind his back in an at ease position, Spock calmly waited for the doctor to give his prognosis.

"Well, he's been tortured, though with what, we're not sure. Scans show some foreign object lodged at the base of his skull. Further analysis showed the object is organic and is attached onto his brain stem pretty securely." McCoy ran his hand over his face before shaking his head. "There's going to be damage, but we're not sure to what extent."

Kirk crossed his arms and stared at Bones.

"Have you removed, whatever it is, from him yet?"

McCoy shook his head and shot him a small smirk.

"I would have, but somebody can't keep this death bucket steady." he answered.

Spock was about to say something, most likely regarding the doctor's choice of words, but Kirk nudged him lightly in the side. Instead, Spock remained silent and let McCoy continue.

"I would like to start it as soon as possible. That thing in him is releasing some sort of toxin and the sooner I get it out, the happier everybody will be. I just want to make sure we aren't going to have any unexpected bumps."

When he said "unexpected bumps," McCoy glanced pointedly at Kirk who held his hands up defensively.

"Hey, I'm not the pilot here." Kirk defended, and then looked expectantly at Spock. "And I don't think we're going to run into any more problems."

"That is correct. Contrary to the prior discourse of worst case scenarios on the bridge, our return flight to Starfleet will encounter no further disruptions." Spock answered promptly and in monotone.

The other two remained silent, as if waiting for him to continue further, but when it was obvious that that was the extent of his report, Kirk and McCoy shared an amused glance.

"No more disruptions? I hope so…Pissed off Romulans are disruption enough…"

A soft, raspy voice interrupted their conversation. All attention suddenly became fixated on the speaker. Captain Christopher Pike slowly opened his eyes and in a painfully slow manner, turned his head to face the three men. He smiled sluggishly and rasped out,

"If my memory isn't completely shot yet, I'm pretty sure I had left you in charge, Mr. Spock." Pike's smile softened a fraction at the brief embarrassment Spock showed and then covered up. He then turned slightly to get a better view of Kirk. "And you, mister, better get ready for a mountain of paperwork for your little stunt."

Kirk had the decency to look a little sheepish as he rubbed the back of his head. Meanwhile, McCoy was running his medical tricorder to determine Pike's awake status.

"Alright, don't push it too much, sir. Say what you want then I respectfully ask you shut up. Your body's weak enough as is…No need making it worse by talking to these two."

Tilting his head to the side, Spock raised an eyebrow in question at Kirk who responded with a quick nod. The small gesture was not lost on the doctor who tried to interject, but failed. The Vulcan was simply too quick with his words.

"Doctor, you claim that speaking with Captain Pike would be adverse to his current state of health. However, I am inclined to point out it was you who first invited us to speak with Captain Pike. Therefore, as the medical professional, if you deemed our presence detrimental, it would have been within the realm of your responsibility to deny any request to speak with either the captain or myself."

There was a smothered snort from Kirk who was biting his bottom lip. Though Pike was too tired and in pain to do anything too drastic, it was clear from the way the corner of his lips twitched upwards that he was also amused. The only person who was not amused was McCoy. Currently, he was grumbling expletives under his breath as he made a great show of storming off to check on another patient.

"Good one, Spock." Kirk patted Spock on the shoulder with a grin. Spock remained neutral as he answered,

"I assure you, Captain, I have no idea what you are referring to."

Christopher Pike watched their exchange with curiosity. It was amusing watching Kirk, Spock, and McCoy banter, a much needed distraction from his recent ordeal, but he was more interested in how the two top officers interacted.

He heard a brief recap from Doctor McCoy how Kirk wound up with the captaincy. There were many details missing, and he looked forward to hearing about the series of events for himself. Though he was surprised at how Kirk gained his position, he was not, however, surprised at the easy acceptance Spock showed of Kirk's leadership now. He always knew Spock was a more than capable officer, but he also knew how reluctant the Vulcan was to be in total command. On the other hand, he knew James Kirk was meant for leadership, which was why he designated him first officer. Pike had not been lying when he told Kirk he could be one of the youngest to ever captain a starship, he just had not expected it that soon. It was a shame and a tragedy how events unfolded, but there seemed to be a sliver of fortune amidst the recent chaos.

"So, Captain Kirk, how did you exactly come to be in charge now?" Pike asked.

In an uncharacteristic manner, Kirk faltered and stuttered for words. He nervously glanced sideways at Spock who was stoic, and answered instead.

"I was emotionally compromised after the destruction of Vulcan." There was a slight hitch in his voice when he mentioned Vulcan, but otherwise, maintained a bland and matter of fact tone of voice. "Therefore, it was logical that Captain Kirk, who was the first officer, take over command."

Pike wanted to nod his head in understanding, but the motion was too difficult for him to manage so he sent Spock a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry about your loss, Spock."

"Your sympathy is appreciated, but not necessary. I am…" He trailed off at the end as he searched for a word. After a moment, Spock continued, "Fine. I am fine."

There was no further explanation on his part and he resumed a blank, unreadable face. Pike shifted his gaze to Kirk who appeared solemn, and maybe even a bit concerned, as he stared out of the corner of his eye at Spock, who suddenly found the wall across the room very fascinating.

"Good to hear it." He offered Spock a small smile.

"Indeed." Spock answered in his default, emotionless mode. "If there is nothing more I am required for, I shall resume my station."

Both Pike and Kirk found it best to let Spock escape his apparent discomfort with the current discussion. They nodded their heads once, which Spock seemed to be grateful for.

"Then, by your leave, Captain." said Spock who then paused a brief moment and nodded his head towards Pike. "…Captain."

Kirk waved cheekily to which Spock lifted an eyebrow and softly shook his head. On his way out, Spock stopped to speak with McCoy. Kirk could not be sure as to what was said, but the end result was McCoy rolling his eyes and shooing him out of the sickbay.

"For some reason, Kirk, I feel like it wasn't that simple."

His tone of voice sounded more amused than anything else, to Kirk's great relief. Nonetheless, now that he thought about it, Kirk had no idea where to begin without sounding like a complete lunatic. Even though the crew somehow caved in and believed his time-traveling Spock story, he had no idea what Pike would think about it. It still sounded ridiculous to him and he was the one who was actually there.

"You wouldn't believe half of what happened." Kirk shot him a half smile, half apologetic bow of the head.

"I'm sure. So I wonder how Starfleet will take it." Pike slowly smirked when he saw the dawning realization in the younger man's eyes. "I for one would enjoy hearing the full story."

With that, Pike stiffly readjusted his head so it was resting more comfortably on the pillow and shut his eyes with a smug grin. He greatly anticipated reading Kirk's report.

Kirk took Pike's silence as a sign the conversation was over. Before he walked off though, Pike told him,

"Just so you know, no matter what you do, Spock will always write a better Starfleet report than you."

Shooting a questioning glance towards Pike, Kirk was slightly exasperated to see him with his eyes closed and ignoring him. McCoy walked over and stood beside Kirk.

"Guess you're dismissed." he said.

"Yeah, guess you're right." Kirk responded. He was about to leave, but found himself unable to. "Bones, let go."

McCoy shook his head and tightened his grip on Kirk's arm.

"Nuh-uh, mister. I'm not through with you." McCoy ignored his friend's protests and dragged him off to the side. "When you get to that bridge, you're going to make sure that every single one of you goes off duty. That includes you and the hobgoblin."

He waved a hypospray under Kirk's nose to emphasize the seriousness of his orders. Kirk fought the involuntary urge to bring up his hands and protect his neck. Instead, he settled for a solid pat on the shoulder and twisting his arm from the doctor's vice-like grip.

"Okay, okay, I got it." He looked at the raised eyebrow and cursed all the people in the world who were able to convey threats through their eyebrows. "Seriously, I got, Bones."

There was still a small glimmer of suspicion on the doctor's part, but he was satisfied; for now. Kirk extricated his arm and then rushed out of sickbay; away from his irritable friend, and away from the air of pain permeating the sickbay.

When he was in the turbo lift and the doors shut, Kirk let out a breath he did not realize he was holding. He took a moment to breathe and gather his composure before punching in the buttons for the bridge. It took only a few moments for the doors to slide open again and all eyes were on him.

"Did you miss me?"

Uhura shook her head but there was a tiny grin gracing her lips. Kirk shot her a wink and one of his classic smirks. This just caused her to roll her eyes though the grin was still in place. She swiveled in her own chair so she was now facing Kirk.

"We just received a transmission from Starfleet. Admiral Barnett is on the line."

The atmosphere in the bridge turned solemn as Kirk unconsciously straightened his shirt and sat as proper as he could in the chair. Taking a deep breath, he commanded,

"On screen."

Even though the screen was cracked and in less than standard condition, the image of Admiral Barnett came through relatively clear. He looked exhausted and it was obvious that Starfleet had been just as chaotic as those in space.

"Kirk? What are you doing there? You weren't cleared for duty." Barnett was confused and became even further so as he examined the entire bridge. No doubt, he was struck by the youthful appearance of the bridge crew and the distinct absence of Pike.

"That is true, sir, but through a series of…events, I am the current captain of this vessel."

It never ceased to stun him when he was able to say that he was a captain of a starship. There was a hint of pride that he could not hide, but then, there was also a part of him that was unsure as to how Barnett would take the new information and what it would mean for his future. Squelching those thoughts as quick as they popped up, Kirk admirably maintained his confident expression.

Admiral Barnett was silent for a few moments before nodding his head once, slowly and deliberately.

"Mr. Spock." Spock stood up at attention when Barnett addressed him. "I trust everything was done according to procedure?"

"Of course. Though Captain Kirk was, originally, not on duty, he did not violate any regulations as he was, at the time, a patient of Doctor Leonard McCoy. When the Narada appeared, Captain Pike appointed me acting captain while designating Kirk as first officer before engaging the Romulans on their vessel. After the destruction of Vulcan, I was emotionally compromised and resigned as acting captain. As first officer, Kirk assumed the captaincy." Spock regurgitated the "events" in a calm, collected manner without batting an eyelash. Kirk idly wondered if the robotic reply was going to be the default answer whenever somebody questioned the Enterprise's current crew.

Silence hung over the bridge. Barnett seemed to be digesting Spock's explanation while Spock remained stoic. However, Kirk was pretty sure he saw a defiant glint in Spock's eyes, almost as if he was daring the admiral to argue with him. Then again, that could have been his imagination, but for now, he was satisfied with his current observation.

"I see…" There was some hesitation evident in Barnett's answer, but overall, he was accepting of it. "Well then, Starfleet extends its congratulations and heartfelt thanks at preventing a second tragic catastrophe."

At that last part, Kirk snuck a quick glance at Spock. He stood as impassive as ever and patiently waited for the admiral to continue.

"As to you, Mr. Spock, and to all Vulcan survivors, you have our deepest sympathy and utmost support."

It was brief, barely there, but Kirk caught it. Spock's stoicism slipped for only an instant, but it was long enough for a strange sensation in the gut of his stomach to form. On Spock's part, he mentally scolded himself for the involuntary lapse in control, but was positive it was quick enough for nobody to notice.

"I thank you on behalf of Vulcan."

He bowed his head lightly in deference to the consolation offered then resumed his station. Kirk watched him out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the admiral.

"Well, Admiral, to what do we owe this pleasure?" asked Kirk.

"Starfleet wishes to know the condition of the Enterprise and how we can be of service to expedite your return trip."

Heaving a deep sigh, Kirk ran a hand over his face. There were so many things he could say that he could find nothing to say. Images of the sickbay, Pike, on top of all the damage he could plainly see throughout the bridge, Kirk could only reply,

"The condition of this ship is suck."

Kirk did not need to look over his shoulder to know that the science officer's eyebrow would be up into his hairline because the cocked eyebrow of Admiral Barnett was a good indicator of how outrageous his response was. Most occasions, even Kirk would have had the good sense to not answer in such a manner, but given the circumstances, he could not bring himself to care. Apparently, Barnett was also in a lax mood because he just sighed and nodded his head in understanding.

"I understand." he spoke sincerely and then asked, "What condition is the engine in?"

Before Kirk could reply, a loud voice with a thick brogue answered for him.

"I just ejected all the warp cores so we're only working on impulse. Not to mention the strain the engines have already been put under escaping form that singularity." Montgomery Scott gestured wildly with his hands as he further explained the state of the Enterprise's engines. "Did ye know there are cracks, CRACKS! Do ye know what that means? We can barely make it on impulse power. I cannae believe how she's been treated…and on her maiden voyage to boot!"

Scott's despairing would have been comical were the engines not as damaged as he claimed. However, the threat of damaged engines and the knowledge that the ship only had impulse power kept the atmosphere grim.

"Scotty, can the engines hold out long enough to get us back?" Kirk asked.

"…Aye, Captain. She'll hold. Just hope we don't actually need to maneuver her or anything." Reluctantly Scott answered. So long as he continued to monitor and begin minor repairs, the Enterprise would remain in one piece.

Slowly nodding his head, Admiral Barnett came to a decision.

"Alright then. Kirk, I want you to keep this ship heading for Earth. The remaining ships in the Lorentian system will meet you part way to help relieve you of the injured and extra passengers aboard." He waited for Kirk to nod his head to indicate he was listening before adding, "Those who are still fit for duty will remain aboard the ship and fly her home."

The tension every crewmember aboard the Enterprise felt became a little less knowing that the overwhelming number of passengers would be alleviated. Kirk knew McCoy would be overjoyed to know that he would soon have a more manageable amount of patients to worry over.

"Understood, Admiral." Kirk replied formally.

With a final farewell and good luck, the transmission was cut and Kirk slowly sunk into his chair. Gesturing to the navigator, Chekov, he asked,

"Given the state of our engines and our current location, how long will it take us to reach Starfleet command?"

Fingers glided over the various screens as Chekov quickly made his calculations. As he worked, he pursed his lips in concentration before continuously nodding his head and spinning in his chair to face the captain.

"Keptin, I have calculated that we will arrive in a week and a half."

Kirk rested his chin on his fist as he contemplated the answer. Chekov stared at him expectantly, as did the rest of the crew. Churning over the information in his head a bit, Kirk then directed his attention to Scott.

"Think you can keep the Enterprise running for that long?" he asked innocently.

In response, Scott shot him an incredulous, and almost offended expression causing Kirk to choke back a smirk.

"You bet I can. It'll be a hot day on Delta Vega when this beauty cannae come through."

Holding his hands up in a placating manner, Kirk allowed himself to smile and nod approvingly.

"Bones is going to be glad to hear that."

"Well then. If you gents will excuse me, I have some engines I need to repair." Scott informed them. Looking at Kirk who nodded once, the eccentric engineer strolled happily enough off the bridge.

The doors leading to the rest of the deck closed and Kirk was once again left to his own thoughts. He was glad to hear that there was no need for concern when it came to the engines. Now he only had to worry about what he needed to get done before the time aboard the Enterprise was up.

"A week and a half, huh?" As he spoke, he slightly spun his chair to look over at Spock and had to repress a grin. "Mr. Spock, where in the world did you lead us to make it such a long trip?"

He had to bite his tongue when he saw Spock furrow his brows and tilt his head slightly in confusion.

"I assure you, Captain, I had no intention of prolonging our voyage. At the time, I deemed it necessary to not only give you more time to free Captain Pike, but to also find a suitable location in which there were no nearby space bodies so that the red matter could be safely detonated. Therefore, I chose the nearest location that fulfilled these parameters." By the end of his explanation, Spock was becoming suspicious of the captain as he and the others appeared to be doing a poor, human attempt to suppress an emotion. Arching an eyebrow, Spock decided to pursue his current hypothesis. "Captain, am I to assume that you are, once again, intentionally manipulating me to respond to your queries in an entertaining fashion?"

"If you're asking if I was making a joke, then yes, Spock, you are correct." Kirk grinned as he answered.

"I see…Fascinating." was the only reply Spock had for the captain.

It pleased Kirk to know that his joking was not completely lost on Spock, but even more so that it did not offend or hurt his feelings. When he thought about hurting his feelings, Kirk had to swallow a snort. Despite the claims to the contrary, he knew that Vulcans, particularly the one seated at the science station, could have their feelings hurt. And he also knew, an emotionally hurt Vulcan was not safe for anybody's health.

"Of course I'm fascinating, Spock. No need to state the obvious." Kirk lounged in his chair confidently as he continued to grin at Spock.

"You are purposefully misconstruing my words." stated Spock.

There was no accusation in his voice nor was he taken aback. Spock merely stated his perception of the situation in the attempt to understand the current scenario created by the captain. This helped alleviate some of the tension Kirk had been feeling ever since they talked with Pike, though there was still something in the back of his mind fighting to the forefront of his thoughts.

"Who, me? Misconstrue? I'm just calling it how I see it."

"Then I suggest Doctor McCoy also give you an eye exam and perhaps a psychological evaluation if what you say is true."

The only way to describe the current expression on Spock's face was smug because for a moment, Kirk was at a loss for a retort and just waggled a finger at him as he processed the information he was just given. His lack of a response of any kind satisfied Spock. It would appear that he deduced correctly and was currently engaged in a verbal spar of wits human's referred to as "joking."

Finally collecting his thoughts, Kirk's grin grew even larger as he replied,

"Well played, Spock, well played. Just don't let Bones catch you saying that, he'd follow through with it."

Spock wholly agreed and as he thought about it, he realized the captain had not made the announcement the good doctor had ordered earlier.

"Indeed. And speaking of the doctor, I believe he gave you specific instructions."

Shoulders suddenly slumped when Kirk heard those words. He hated physicals and guessed that every crewmember did not want to subject themselves to something so seemingly unnecessary. Nonetheless, orders were orders, and McCoy would not be disobeyed in this case.

"Okay, people. You are all to report to sickbay after this shift for standard physicals as ordered by the chief medical officer." he made sure to tag on the last little bit so they knew he was not the one responsible for all the expressions of dismay. "When he clears you, you are to go off duty until the next alpha shift. And for those who are wondering, I've decided alpha shift ends in half an hour since everything got messed up with Nero and the standard routine was thrown off."

When he finished speaking, it was clear that nobody wanted to leave their position even though exhaustion was plainly visible. They shared despairing looks with one another while Kirk looked to Spock for any added instructions. Standing straight and authoritative, Spock tugged at the hem of his shirt to straighten it out before addressing the crew.

"As the sickbay is already inundated with patients and to make the process as expeditious as possible, you will be dismissed in pairs as time is allotted for those of beta shift to arrive and adjust to the situation." he made a point to make eye contact with every crewmember before finishing. "From here on out, we will assume standard procedure as in accordance with Starfleet regulation. If you have any further personal queries, please direct them to the captain."

Upon finishing, Spock stared expectantly at Kirk.

"Sure, push it all on me." teased Kirk. "Alright, then. Once I finish the ship wide announcement, I want weapon and damage control to go first."

There was a collective set of nods as Kirk punched the communications button on the command chair's right arm.

"This is Captain Kirk. Starfleet has ordered our return to Earth of which we will be arriving in approximately a week and a half. In that time, you are to resume your standard stations and perform your duties in accordance with Starfleet regulation. At 2200 hours, alpha shift will end. Please acknowledge the time and respond accordingly to your given shift. I know there seems to be too much going on at once right now, but I also know all of you are the best at what you do. You're all doing an excellent job, so keep up the good work. Kirk out."

Without any prompting, the officers station at weapons and damage control stood up and dutifully marched to the turbo lift when Kirk finished. The action caused a small smile of satisfaction to grace his face. When the doors to the lift closed, Kirk swiveled and addressed Spock.

"Mr. Spock?"

"Beta shift officers have already been informed and are on their way." he answered when prompted.

"Great. Please inform me when ten minutes have passed."

"Yes, Captain."

With that final order out of the way, Kirk found himself with nothing to do. It was odd considering all that had occurred, but here he was, already antsy to do something. So, he took the time to glance around the bridge and study the people who just made the impossible, possible.

Sulu and Chekov were quietly chatting about something though they were still monitoring their stations. Once and a while Chekov would say something then Sulu would chuckle causing the young ensign to become more animated. Kirk shook his head in mild amusement and swiveled his chair to get a better view of the communication and science stations.

It was relatively silent in that vicinity save for a few stray beeps and blips resulting from the computer's activity. Uhura continued to monitor the subspace frequencies though she occasionally snuck quick glances towards Spock who was dutifully studying the screens in front of him. Kirk had the urge to go over and see what was so fascinating at the moment, but he refrained.

As he continued to observe the bridge and her crew, Kirk could not help it. He grinned widely.

"You guys are the best."

All previous activity ceased on the bridge as all eyes turned to the captain's sudden exclamation. Kirk had not meant to say that aloud, but they did not need to know that, so he just played it off with a smile. It worked well enough. The crew saw nothing wrong with it and even if they did find it off in some way, it was easily forgiven as nobody had the energy to say otherwise. Everybody resumed their stations.

"Captain, as per your request, it has been ten minutes." declared Spock.

Kirk noted in amusement that Spock had not even looked up from his station and continued to work diligently as he informed him of the time.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock. Engineering and communications, your turn."

He jerked his thumb towards the turbo lift and could not help grin a little as Uhura waltzed by and shot him an exasperatedly amused look before disappearing behind the lift's doors.

The minute the doors shut, the sound of another set of doors swished open. A small group of officers stepped onto the bridge and wasted no time in assuming the vacated stations. Kirk was pleasantly surprised at the efficiency of the crew. He watched those who still had about fifteen minutes before the actual beta shift started. They stood unobtrusively to the side and allowed those who were still working to continue to do so in peace.

It did not take long for another ten minutes to pass and this time, Kirk dismissed the helmsman and navigator. Out of all the crewmembers, Sulu and Chekov were the most reluctant to leave their stations. It was not that they did not trust the other shift officers, but rather, they were like Scott in that they loved what they did. However, orders were orders and they turned over control dutifully and exited through the turbo lift.

By now, the only alpha shift crewmembers remaining on the bridge were Kirk and Spock. The former briefly addressed the next shift while the latter continued to study the computer's readouts and keep track of the time. And when that time came too quickly, Kirk understood Sulu and Chekov's reluctance to leave.

"Well then, everyone, mind the store."

With those final words, he resolutely stood up and forced himself to calmly walk away from the command chair. Spock waited patiently for him by the turbo lift doors and even when Kirk approached, he made no movement to get in. So, they stood there for a few eternal moments before Spock cocked an eyebrow and Kirk frowned in confusion.

"Why aren't you getting in?" Kirk asked.

"I am waiting for you." was the quiet answer.

Kirk tried to figure out how that was a good answer since he was clearly already there.

"Well, I'm here, so, what's the hold up?"

If Spock were any other person, he would have sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, or face palmed. Instead, he calmly and just as quietly answered,

"It is customary and proper manners for the highest ranking officer to enter and exit first."

Somewhere and someplace, Kirk vaguely recalled hearing that, but he could not recall a time he actually observed such a procedure. Then again, until recently, he did not really respect authority. However, even though he was beginning to understand and even respect those in authority, he was slightly uncomfortable with Spock deferring to him. Captain he may be at the moment, but when it came down to it, at the end of the day, Spock was the commanding officer.

"Right. I knew that. Very well." he responded. Spock lightly bowed his head without a trace of judgment or bitterness.

Then, with all the captain-like confidence he could muster, Kirk strode into the turbo lift while Spock joined him and stood by his side with a more subdued confidence.

A/N: Over 7000 words and only the first chapter. There are many more chapters. It will be long. Observe my short sentences here and my overuse of run-ons in the story. This isn't beta'd so if there are mistakes, they are mine and mine alone. Grammar and I don't get along. Neither does my thought process and coherency. So don't be afraid to ask questions, make comments, or whatever else people do these days. Feedback is welcome and subconciously desired. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and stick around for the rest.

Party like a Vulcan,
~Tofu