A/N: And a lovely return to my Queen series. With a depressing song. Woo. Go Missy.

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome/Inuyasha/Kagura
Genre: Romance/angst
Universe: AU for a change
Warnings: None

Word count: 912

Jealousy

Oh how wrong can you be?
Oh, to fall in love was my very first mistake
How was I to know I was far too much in love to see?
Oh, jealousy look at me now
Jealousy, you got me somehow
You gave me no warning
Took me by surprise
Jealousy, you led me on
You couldn't lose, you couldn't fail
You had suspicion on my trail

Looking back on it, Sesshoumaru realised what had gone wrong. She was too obnoxious and domineering. She was passionate about people and children. And human rights. It was an oddly compelling mix of water and oil, all bottled up in a woman who wasn't perfectly beautiful by society's standards, but she definitely wasn't plain either.

That silly little doctor had seemed perfect! Kind, caring, she was affectionate to his daughter when ordinarily women fled at the merest mention of his Rin, she was fun, intelligent. And he loved her as much as she loved him.

She must have known his brother before she'd ever met him. To think he was a rebound lover! But back then, when he was unaware of the truth all he'd ever needed to know of her love for him was the love in his eyes and face. Looking back on it, he saw the wistfulness in her eyes, and he realised that his sense of never measuring up to her standards wasn't paranoia, but truth. Kagome must've been thinking 'Inuyasha would do this', 'Inuyasha wouldn't say that', 'Inuyasha would smile and love openly'.

However, the precise moment of collapse had begun when he'd gone to visit Inuyasha because Rin wished to see her cousin. It was only fortunate that it enabled him to see his half – brother's girlfriend at the same time, after all this Sesshoumaru was one to take advantage of an opportunity.

Kagome's eyes had lit up unbearably so; it pained Sesshoumaru when he realised she was far happier with Inuyasha, even as friends than she was as his girlfriend. At least he hadn't bought that engagement ring he'd been eyeing up at the jewellers. But that was only looking back. At the time he'd thought it was something else, perhaps even a stray thought that made me smile with happiness.

Kagura was brash, loud, independent and all in all, seemingly perfect for Inuyasha. Inadvertently, the dinner revolved around Inuyasha after the two children had gone outside to play, leaving him standing silent and alone on the fringes of a small and intimate meal.

Inuyasha had always been more popular because of his extroverted nature whilst most people shied away from his elder brother deeming him cold and deliberately anti – social.

If he hadn't had Kagome, if he hadn't opened up to her, he wouldn't have minded. He was perfectly content as he was: just him and Rin with that odd teenaged boy Jaken who came around to babysit.

It was during those solitary moments watching the animated tableau in front of him that his mind became poisoned by that virulent and subtle illness jealousy.

It only spread like a creeping frost.

Oh, how strong can you be
With matters of the heart?
Life is much too short
To while away with tears
If only you could see just what you do to me
Oh jealousy, you tripped me up
Jealousy, you brought me down
You bring me sorrow, you cause me pain
Jealousy when will you let go?
Gotta hold of my possessive mind
Turned me into a jealous kind

It burned him with the arctic cold and it froze his voice and drove Kagome away from him.

The biting remarks and glares whenever she came to life around his brother only forced her away faster; she withered whenever he was alone with her. Tears flowed and voices were low with fierce passion boiling beneath the ice.

He knew how much was his fault, but if only Kagome would pay attention to how he felt too, there had been many warnings. Oh so many. About not interfering with Inuyasha's life, he clearly loved Kagura very much and it wasn't right that she try to hurt them both. How Rin would feel. Maybe it was his reticence about expressing his feelings openly, but the veiled suggestions about what she was doing to him with her flirting and draping herself over his little brother passed right over her.

He did tell her he was possessive. It was his nature as an inudaiyoukai.

But it was best to lay equal blame on all sides this time. He and Kagome were just incompatible. Inuyasha could have spurned her advances; Kagura could have warned her off.

And so he became devoured by jealousy and forced her away. She went to Inuyasha and Kagura left him. Went abroad to be with her lover.

How, how, how all my jealousy
I wasn't man enough to let you hurt my pride
Now I'm only left with my own jealousy
But now it matters not if I should live or die
'Cause I'm only left with my own jealousy

He should have said something!

There was only Rin now keeping him from leaving his home and going away. All that was inside were the ghostly shades and groping hands of satisfied jealousy.

Bachelorhood, it seems, was his natural state. Too much pride to be open to anyone but his daughter, too aloof to attract anyone else.

Pride and jealousy, jealousy and pride. They ended his happiness.

Post - story A/N: Not really my best; I've been out of the writing business to long perhaps.