*Hi everyone! This is my first attempt to post a story in English and I'm very nervous about that. I'm a big fan of 'Moonlight' and was very sad about the cancelling of this great show, so I decided to let the story of Mick and Beth and all the other adorable characters (especially Josef) go on in my fantasy. I first wrote it in my mother language (German) and am now working at the second part, so I can tell you 'Newborn' is actually finished and it has got 62 chapters. I just have to translate it with some of my German readers and the help of Dharke, who was the beta-reader for the first chapters (thanks a lot for it!). Because of the translation work the updates will took a while but I promise to give my best. I hope you'll enjoy reading this. Yours, Jenna*

P.S. I urgently need a Beta-reader to rework later chapters before posting them here. So if you love 'Moonlight' as much as I do and like correcting a lot, don't be shy! ;0)

P.P.S. There will be a higher rating for some later chapters due to – guess what - scenes containing violence and sex.

Disclaimer: Mick, Beth, all other characters and the story-line of the second season are borrowed from the great Moonlight-show, that I miss so much, and so are the property of others.

Prolog

„There's no reality except the one contained within us. That's why so many people live an unreal life. They take images outside them for reality and never allow the world within them to assert itself."

Hermann Hesse

There are questions you shouldn't ask yourself. For example the one asking for the meaning of life. Or the one asking for the true sense in love. Questions you think you can answer easily, after a few minutes of taking stock of oneself. Given, you possess a certain intelligence and life experience. Maybe you would indeed answer them quickly, just to show the others how much more you know about life and how sapient you are. But then… then, all by yourself, you would start to think about your own answers again. You would start to brood about it – at first just about those questions, but before long, your own life, your own acting and thinking would get into the spotlight of all your thoughts – especially your own mistakes, the many wrong decisions and sad moments, which come along with a long life and although you wouldn't want it to happen and there would be no more unfavorable point in time, you would be suddenly in one of those really terrible life crisis…

Thus far it could go with just one innocent question. In the blink of an eye questions could become your most bitter enemies - particularly when you are the one who is posing them. Because many times the answers you know are the ones you fear the most.

But worst of all are the questions you never asked and never will ask, for the person you wanted to address them to, lives no more. If you had asked them, the answers and reactions maybe could have been some of the most beautiful things, the most beautiful experiences in your whole life. Those questions could have become your best friends, for they would have opened doors, which had been kept closed too long. But now in that unspoken state they become a sheer torture, for they become absorbed in the probabilities of an unlived future.

But yet… you cannot escape the questions of your life. You can only decide, how to react to them and no matter what you do, at some point you will always have the feeling that you have taken the wrong decision.

For example, take a look at me. I prefer to avoid the questions I am asked when they are too unpleasant – with humor, sarcasm and sometimes just with silence. I am loath to reveal my feelings, even if it would be important, even if it would be my best friend, who would like to understand me. I have many secrets but just one friend, whom I trust so much, that he knows some of them… just one friend.

There were just a few people in my long life, who affected me deeply. And none of them I really wanted to let into my life, none of those persons I wanted to show, who I really am. And yet I couldn't really struggle against it, for somehow in some strange way I felt so grateful to those persons, as if suddenly a twin had grown out of my chest. A twin who cannot be more different and yet is so appallingly close to me. The soulmate everyone is searching in his life and is found by just a few. Two times in four hundred years fate brought me a soulmate and forced me to love them and to suffer. With them I wanted to talk about everything that touches me, with them I wanted to walk through this life, through all the wonders and dangers of this unlimited world – this world full of possibilities. I wanted them to get close to my innermost self, I wanted them to see who I really am and I wanted to permeate them, to understand them so entirely, that they would never ever have to fear to give up on themselves. Like me once, when I had to face the questions of my life all by myself.

But by the loss of the one person, by the ache and the fear I had to suffer, I didn't really give the other one a break to realize what he meant to me.

And so what I wanted and what I did, became two totally different things, for the barriers I built up inside all over the years, cannot be broken down easily. The secrets I kept for so long don't want to be discovered. And just when somebody, who means so much to me, turned to me with those questions, those questions reaching out for my innermost feelings, just then I always came to the wrong decision. Just then I became the person who I am for everyone, the one who rather strips off unpleasant questions with a funny remark than to expose too much of himself. Just on rare occasions he was able to filter down to me, the second love of my life. And every time I was thankful for that – just to react the next time in the same way.

So it took time to get close to each other, for without giving there is no taking. Some friendships grow slowly. Some feelings are not declared, some questions never asked. Because sometimes it is too late…