Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the movie.

Okay, I adore Twilight books….the movie sucked. LET'S EVALUATE!

NOT IN ORDER!

TAKE 15

Bella: Hey....did you get contacts?

Edward: no....

Bella: Your eyes were black yesterday, now they're like…golden-brown—

Edward: GAH! It's called TOPAZ! NO ONE GETS IT FUCKING RIGHT!

TAKE 64

James: You brought a snack...

Edward: Don't you dare touch my damn Pop-Tarts you SON OF A BITCH!!

TAKE 21

Edward: I can read every mind in this room....apart from yours.

Bella: What, is there something wrong with me?

Edward: ....yes. You're eating fucking mushroom ravioli with a fucking vampire. There's something wrong with that picture.

TAKE 44

*Bella and Edward driving*

Bella: ok....I think I'm warm enough now.

*hands touch, Bella gasps*

Edward: oh shit....my dad's gonna kill me.

Bella: *looks ahead* Woa. What is going on?

Edward: That's my dad's car on the end....shit. He's here to kill me.

TAKE 17

Bella: You're impossibly fast….and strong.

Edward: that's because I work out every day.

Bella: Your skin is pale white and ice cold.

Edward: yea, I use this make-up I found at Hot Topic....

Bella: Your eyes change color.

Edward: yea, it's these sweet colorful contacts I got...

Bella: and sometimes you speak...like you're from a different time.

Edward: what, because I don't say words like "Yo" and "Foshizzle"?

Bella: You never eat or drink anything...

Edward: Yea...how else am I going to fit into my skinny jeans?

Bella: You don't go out in the sunlight...

Edward: yea....it burns.

Bella: How old are you?

Edward: ......19.

Bella: How long have you BEEN 17?

Edward: .....I said 19.....

Bella: I know what you are.

Edward: Say it.

Bella: no.

Edward: Outloud.

Bella: no.

Edward: SAY IT!

Bella: ....no.

EDWARD: I SAID FUCKING SAY IT!

TAKE 98

*dragging Bella through the forest*

Bella: Where are we going?

Edward: To my lair.

TAKE 72

Jacob: Hi...I'm Jacob.

Bella: hi.

Jacob: Yea....we used to make mud pies when we were little.

Bella: Yea....I used throw them in your face.

TAKE 108

Bella: ....are they always like this?

Jacob: ....it's getting worse with old age. Soon they'll be hitting each other with their canes.

TAKE 24

*gets car*

Bella: This is PERFECT! *opens car door and hits Jacob*

Jacob: WHA THE FUCK! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LIKED IT! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HITTING ME!

MORE TO COME! REVIEW!