Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot. One can only wish for more (:

Note: I love this piece. It came to me at night and I started writing it and couldn't stop. I worked hard at perfecting this, and I'd really appreciate reviews, and even if you don't like it...that's cool too, lol.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision." - St. Augustine

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Seeing James with Catherine made Lily scowl in wonder more than anything else. She sipped her butterbeer slowly and thoughtfully, and then she tucked a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear. Catherine was beautiful in small ways; her small nose, dark hair and wide eyes - the kind of good looks you would notice after you were drawn in by her attractive personality. She didn't expect James to appreciate her subtle beauty.

I didn't expect James to ask out anyone else at all, she thought. It just hit her now, that James was with another girl, on a date.

"That was not meant to sound arrogant," Lily said quietly, after thinking what seemed like something only a self-absorbed person would think. This has been going on for a few weeks now, and she had been reduced to talking to herself in a confined, stuffy pub with her best friend Alice, who was watching her with the keen interest of a bird-watcher.

"What was that, Lily?" Alice softly prodded. Her lips twitched at the corners, and threatened to lift themselves into a smile.

"Nothing, just muttering to myself," Lily replied, sighing. "I'm getting ridiculous, aren't I?" she asked, even though she knew the answer, well etched into her mind.

"You asked for it, sweetheart," Alice reminded her. "It was foolish from the start to follow your lover."

"He's not my lover," Lily told her patiently, glaring at the undeterred brunette. Alice glanced at Catherine and James, who were trapped in a serious conversation with furrowed brows and tightlipped murmurs.

"It doesn't look like they're having much fun, are they?" Lily asked Alice. Alice just looked at her best friend intently, who suddenly seemed wickedly vulnerable. In the end, it just added one more dimension to Lily Evans. Alice paused, before adding, "It doesn't look like a date, to be honest." She noticed Lily brightened with hope, but she knew Lily wouldn't believe it, on the grounds of her own obstinacy.

"It is," Lily said stubbornly. She was always so firmly on one side of the fence, even if on that side of the fence was something she did not like.

Alice shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "It looks like a business meeting for Merlin's sake. Look at them, they're not touching, they don't look relaxed at all, and you can't get much more laid back characters than James and Catherine," she finished as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Maybe they just had a row," Lily said hesitantly. She whipped her head around to face Alice when James looked up. Lily turned beet red and touched the nape of her neck with her right hand nervously.

"Did he see me?" she asked anxiously. Alice kept her eyes on her best friend and shook her head.

"Blimey, Lily, get a grip," Alice said.

"What do you want me to do? There's nothing for me to do," Lily retorted.

"Then why are we here?" Alice asked loudly.

"Because," Lily said sharply. "I just need to see…" she trailed off.

Alice ran her hands through her hair in one swift motion. "Lily, if you like him, then ask him out," she said, saying each word deliberately.

"I would rather have Sirius Black grope me," Lily hissed fiercely.

"Really?" Alice asked, horrified. Lily stared at her icily and Alice set her jaw impatiently, knowing that what Lily said had some truth to it.

She started to stand up, and she left her butterbeer on the table. She looked at Lily and said resolutely, "I'm going to tell James. Now. He needs to know." Lily hastily grabbed her arm and her eyes were stout in alarm.

"You can't do that!" she said, and managed to make Alice stumble back into her seat. "I'm sorry, Alice, but there's no way I'm letting you do that and ruin his date." When Alice began to open her mouth angrily, Lily interjected heatedly, "It is a date! Well, if it is, or isn't, you can't just go in there and tell him that I like him! It's not the time or place, you shouldn't put him into that mess right now," she huffed. Alice bit her lip as she considered what she said. She was still poised to stand, but she relaxed as Lily tentatively let go of her arm.

"You have to tell him," Alice said finally.

"I…I don't know," Lily said uncertainly. She touched her neck and looked out the window at the hordes of wizards and witches going back to the castle. "He's one of my good friends, and I don't want to ruin that, we've gotten close…I think we should leave now," she said suddenly. "I have Charms homework and I need to review chapter ten for Potions," Lily said briskly.

"Off we go then," Alice muttered sarcastically. "We didn't get anything done, today, Lily, you know that?" Alice grumbled.

Lily looked regretful. "I'm sorry," she said earnestly. She knew Alice wanted to spend Hogsmead with her boyfriend, Frank.

"Well, if we get anything done today, it's now," Alice said with a renewed fire to her voice. "Go say hi to James," she said quickly. She gave Lily a small push.

"I can walk on my own Alice," she said in a half hearted attempt to be stable.

"Just force yourself on him, Lil, he still loves you," Alice encouraged, her voice fading away as she walked off. Lily looked at her retreating back then turned around slowly, bracing herself. She could do this…this was a walk in the park, and if she could get eleven Outstandings, surely she could say hello to one of her peers.

She stood near the wall, trying to be obscure, and absentmindedly watched James and Catherine as they wrapped up whatever they were talking about, by the look of satisfaction on both their faces, as if something had been accomplished. James grinned a sweet break-your-heart grin at Catherine, and Lily saw her smile shortly and wave good bye as she picked up her - chocolates. Lily hadn't seen any chocolates. Chocolates aren't something you would buy your friend if it was platonic, or if it wasn't Christmas, and last time she checked it wasn't Valentine's Day. Her heart sunk just a smidge, but she held her resolve and held her breath.

She slowly peeled herself off the wall and she surreptitiously went just behind Catherine. She was rather short, so it was simple for Lily to 'accidentally' bump into her. So pixie-like, Catherine sharply turned on her heel to tell off whoever had touched her. She stopped mid-response to look up at Lily, who grimaced in a bogus attempt at guilt.

"Sorry, Catherine," Lily said apologetically. Catherine smiled good-naturedly and wrinkled her nose.

"More short jokes, Evans?" she joked. When Lily shook her head feverishly Catherine laughed, short bubbly pants. "I'm only fooling with you, Lily. What are you doing around here? I don't usually see you here, so I assume you stay home and just study for some test you have," Catherine said. This stung a bit at Lily, since it made her seem like a prude. She have Catherine a tight smile, knowing she meant well, and answered her.

"I was just here with Alice," she told her.

"And I was just here with James," she said, unprompted. "You should go say hi," she told Lily shortly. She smiled at Lily and ran off to catch up with one of her sixth year friends, a tall blond beauty.

Lily bit the inside of her cheek and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her green hood sweater. She glanced at James out of the corner of her eyes, and he was sitting alone, thinking and his hair going haywire from all the commotion in his head.

Despite what rumors fly around with, James was not a laidback student. A laidback person, yes, but not student. This reputation seemed to catch fire because it went so well with his prankster imagine that he shared along with Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin. This is why it created a shockwave throughout Hogwart's when he was named this year's Head Boy. To those who knew him, it wasn't surprising. To others on the outside looking in, they could not fathom why Dumbledore would pick a wizard whose record is thicker than half of the seventh year students combined.

Lily herself could see that under the thin joker image, he (and Sirius) were 'exceedingly bright' (as she heard Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn discuss); but James was a natural born leader (and Sirius was the incredibly handsome second-in-command); he was talented, loyal, kind, funny, and could influence people and get things done quickly and efficiently.

Which was the same for almost all the Marauders, with the exception of Peter. He just didn't fit in. But she found it very kind, how they kept him in their tight knitted, family-like sorority and treat him no worse than the others.

Lily was rapidly hit with the image of her close friend, Remus. A prefect and remarkably mature for his age, Remus was a werewolf. Pity it happened to such a compassionate guy, she thought, and rather handsome. She admired the way he carried himself, even with the burden of a monster in his very being, his loyalty, his bravery. And suddenly this small obstacle that lay ahead of her was much, much more trivial than what Remus had to encounter every month.

With a new grit, and cognizant of the time, Lily sauntered forward to James, who still seemed in the middle of an internal conflict. Now or never, she thought warily.

James hadn't appeared to notice that anybody was there. He kept his head low, and his large hands in front of him, like in an unorthodox prayer position. Lily frowned and almost contemplated poking him to see if he was there, before stopping herself. This was one of those rare moments where James was in his element, and his raw presence was literally like static in the air.

Lily smiled to herself, because none of her magic friends would understand what static was…maybe the theory but they wouldn't fathom how static was very real…Lily snorted. She couldn't even explain it to herself.

"Lily?" James's voice interrupted her muggle musings. "Lily," he repeated when she didn't respond. She looked at him the way that Arthur Weasley would look at a toaster oven. (She read a rather nasty interpretation of his muggle fondness on last week's editorial in the Daily Prophet.)

"Oh," was all she said. She cursed at herself for such an intelligent remark.

"Lily? Are you alright?" he seemed genuinely concerned, looking her with inquisitive hazel eyes. Concerned, but still distracted.

"Oh, I'm quite dandy, thank you, Potter," Lily said coolly, staring straight into James's deep irises. Her heart was beating erratically underneath her light blue shirt.

James scooted over and patted the seat next to him. "Do you - I mean -" he said, gesturing to the seat next to him. He didn't lose eye contact with her, and patiently waited for her to show life.

"Thanks," she said curtly, finally, and sat down stiffly beside him. An awkward silence was established and Lily looked at the wall opposite her.

"Butterbeers?" she faintly heard Madam Rosemerta ask. She heard James say "yes" slowly, surely waiting for Lily to object.

When she heard Madam Rosemerta walk away, Lily looked up, feeling cowardly, all her courage extinguished.

"Lily," James said. She looked at his hair, rather than his eyes and answered.

"Yes?"

"What the bloody hell…" he didn't have to finish, she knew what he meant.

"I don't know," she mumbled. She averted her eyes to his, and she bit her lip. "You're probably wondering why I'm acting like an idiot." James chuckled weakly but allowed her to continue.

"I don't know," Lily repeated with a tone of finality, as if this answer is satisfactory, and should be.

The tall wizard leaned his head against his palm as he studied his Head counterpart. He watched her divert her beautiful eyes, and blush faintly, and finally look at him with this fierce gaze that took his breath away, though he didn't know whether it was of awe or terror.

"I'm paying," Lily said shortly. James nodded in agreement and watched amusedly as she pursed her lips.

She sighed loudly, and wondered what in Merlin's beard she was doing with James Potter in a pub, with two butterbeers on it's way.

"So how are you, on this fine afternoon," James asked conversationally.

"Walking around with Alice, you know," she said quickly, caught on his words, hook, line and sinker. "And buying chocolate," she lied, studying him carefully. He raised his stubble-laden face just a little bit, but Lily noticed. His body was inclined towards her, and her legs were inside the booth rather than out. It was a rather inviting setting but she couldn't see how anything could happen with Catherine the big elephant stuck between them.

"Ah, chocolate is good," James replied casually.

"It is, very," Lily said. "How was your day?"

"A little bit of everything," he said noncommittally. "Bizarre things, but look who my friends are," he grinned. Probably remembering the latest low-scale prank he and his friends had conducted, Lily thought. He could just as easily be thinking about Catherine, too.

"Yeah, your friends are interesting," Lily murmured. She unconsciously slid a little bit closer. She could smell his husky scent.

"Butterbeers for the handsome wizard and gorgeous witch," Rosemerta said kindly upon arriving, winking at James.

"Thanks," they both said. They looked at each other and swiftly looked away. Lily touched the nape of her neck and rubbed it nervously.

They sipped their butterbeer silently. James decided to gulp it all in one sitting and laughed heartily as Lily looked stunned.

"Where does it all go?" Lily joked, looking at him up and down. She regretted it instantly. Behind his cloak was firm, sculpted muscle. Quidditch has been generous, and she felt her resentment of the sport shrink. She tried to cover her respect with a teasing smile.

"Like what you see?" James teased back, smirking.

Lily rolled her eyes and drank some more butterbeer to hide her flaming cheeks. Were they flirting? But Catherine…

"You're too cocky, Potter," Lily told him. James flashed her a beaming smile and it faltered as his face looked pained.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, fearing that he remembered about Catherine and that he felt guilty. "If this is making you uncomfortable," Lily mumbled, making a move to slide out of her seat.

"NO." James nearly shouted, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"I mean," he amended hastily, removing his hand from her shoulder when she startled, "I just remembered about Charms, and Potions, and there's an awful lot to do." He looked weary at the prospect of all the homework. "Please, sit down," he told her. She sat back down and looked at him long and hard.

"We could do it together, like a study session," she blurted out. She was surprised that it came out of her mouth. James raised his eyebrows.

"In that case," he said slowly, "we don't have to rush this at all, seeing as with you as a partner I'll get it over with quickly," he told her honestly. He looked at her strangely. "You're acting odd, Lily."

"How?" Lily shot back defensively.

"Now there's the Lily I know," James said happily. "The fiery, witty one. The one quick to bite my head off, not dance around me. Get it?"

"I don't need you to tell me who I am," Lily retorted. Then she rolled her eyes at herself and backtracked. "Sorry…I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm a little unnerved, to be honest," she confessed.

James nodded understandingly and scooted closer. "You want to tell me?"

"Not particularly," Lily said, glad that (or rather hoping) that he wasn't a Legilimens.

James cocked his head to the side and he looked so painfully appealing that Lily wanted to grab him, stuff him in a closet, and -

"We could talk about Death Eaters," James suggested, and that romantic vibe vanished, instead replaced by a grim, eerie atmosphere.

"What about those cows?" Lily said sharply. It struck a nerve, when one of her best friends split from her to join the cult.

"I don't know, just something to talk about. I think there should be more dueling classes, you know. To be prepared."

"I agree. There's too many students in this school who don't know how to properly defend themselves. There's only a handful that could take on a mediocre Death Eater, and that's saying a lot," Lily said seriously, settling down, getting more comfortable. He made conversation so smoothly.

"Like you," James said unabashedly. "You're the brightest witch, hands down. There's a couple of witches here and there, but they're not as well rounded as you are."

Lily surveyed him. "You too, you know. You're probably the best dueler in the school, along with Sirius. Remus and Frank can hold their own, too."

"And Alice, and although I loathe him, Snape too is extraordinarily talented, and very clever."

"And Catherine, I heard she was a fantastic dueler," Lily lied.

"Catherine?" James snorted. "She's the worst witch I have ever seen. She's a lovely person really, but honestly, a competent third year could take her down. Your rumor pipes are a bit rusty, Evans," James said.

"That's not a very polite thing to say about your - where are your friends?" Lily asked. She leaned her head against the table and hoped he ignored the first part.

"My what?" James asked, ignoring her question. Darn it.

"What?" Lily asked, feigning ignorance. James looked at her and saw for the first time why Lily had been so messed up, like a creaky contraption that needed oiling. Why she was jealous of Catherine was beyond him…it was nearing the boundaries of unfathomable. He decided to play with her for a bit.

"You mean Catherine, my girlfriend?" he said innocently. He watched her tense, a slight shift in her body. But her smile looked sincere and her eyes were glassy, probably from being tired. Although he suspected something else.

"Yeah," she said softly. "Her." The whole situation suddenly became too uncomfortable and James saw Lily Evans get up to stretch, but when she sat back down it was considerably farther than where she had previously been sitting.

She knew it. She blew it. Alice was wrong. He didn't fancy her anymore, and of course Catherine was more fun, more spunky and more suited for someone of Marauder-caliber. She watched James watch her and know that one of his honey-sweet smiles and soothing laughs and comforting hands would be to his girlfriend, and not to her. Maybe it was time to leave.

She gave him a watery smile and abruptly stood up without saying anything.

"Where are you going?" James hollered when she quickly dispersed the scene. Her gorgeous red hair flew behind her and James slapped a couple of galleons on the table and left hurriedly to pursue her.

A number of students turned to look at Lily then at him, and to them it was probably just another episode of the Lily and James Chronicles. To him it could be the turning point, where if he could gain he would gain it all and if he lost, well, he didn't want to think about what would happen. Only that it would devastate him.

"Lily!" he yelled out, and she ran where there were fewer students, where the trees grew more dense. She runs like a gazelle, James noticed, and noticed how his own was more like a destructive force moving rapidly. He threw branches aside while she gracefully dodged them.

She stopped to catch her breath - she knew there was no way she could outrun the Quidditch captain anyway. She fared pretty well, actually. Why was she running anyway? To have time to wipe the tears from her face, perhaps. Or to prepare herself for James who she just knew would be following her?

When James skid to a stop in front of a tree that looked like a man with a hunchback, he leaned his arm against the trunk, panting heavily. He watched incredulously as Lily sat down, quite serenely on the grass, cross legged, and put together, even though inside she was ready to fall apart at the seams while simultaneously wondering how to get out of her study session - she refused to use the word date - with James.

"You - put up a - hell of a - run," James panted, still recovering.

Lily didn't say anything. James took his cloak off and threw it on the ground. Lily stared at it, then back at the young man who threw it. She blinked.

'Why'd you run?" James asked, coming over to stand about three feet away from her. Lily looked at him, and smiled so radiantly he just stared. "I don't know," she said, and it became clear why she was smiling.

James glared at her. "Is there anything you do know?" he asked. "I'm growing tired of your games."

"I know you followed me here for some reason," Lily answered just as coldly.

"Because everything I told you was rubbish?" James asked sardonically.

"Excuse me?" Lily sputtered. What is he talking about?

"You heard me, Lily," he said tightly.

"Prove it," Lily challenged.

James's nostrils flared dangerously and he closed his eyes for a few seconds. He looked up at the sky, which was turning steadily rosy.

"I lied, okay? Catherine is not my girlfriend," he said quietly, looking on as Lily processed the information in her head. He watched her as the truth slowly sunk in, and she stood up, her face impassive. She closed the distance between them and she bit her bottom lip, going through her options. She was never spontaneous, James thought dryly.

"Don't think, Evans, just do it," he murmured, leaning in closer instinctively. She looked at him, her mouth a little open, and her green eyes lively and indecisive. She leaned a little bit too, so that they were a breath away.

"I don't think I should, should I," Lily whispered.

"You should," James breathed. James closed his eyes and bent forward, and he was expecting Lily Evan's soft lips (not that he would know), but instead was poked by a thin rod.

He opened his eyes and jumped back when he spotted her wand at his mouth.

"Lily!" he yelled, alarmed.

"You lied to me," Lily growled murderously. She held her wand firmly at his chest, her lips trembling.

"C'mon Lily, don't be rash. Put your wand out. I could take my wand out, too," he told her, fingering the pocket of his jeans.

Lily raised her eyebrow, a silent challenge.

"Lily, I'm not going to duel you." James said warily, eying her wand with narrowed eyes.

"You played with me James, my feelings, and everything. Who the bloody hell do you think you are!" she roared, and red sparks flew out of her wand. James deflected them with his own fourteen inch wand that he whipped out so quick it was a blur. Holy cow.

Lily grudgingly put her wand back in her bag and crossed her arms.

"Lily, I didn't mean to hurt you, honestly," James said sincerely.

"Do you think I'm your toy, James?"

"Of course not -"

"Then why did you do that?" she asked bluntly. She wasn't angry with him, she knew she was overreacting.

"Hold on a second, Lily," James said loudly. "Why do you care?"

"I asked first," she snapped childishly. Amazing how one James Potter could trim her down to someone incapable of acting like an adult.

"Stop acting like a child, Lily…Merlin's pants…what if Catherine was my girlfriend? What if I did give her those chocolates? What if I told her I have never loved anyone as much as I loved her, and I would do my best to make her happy? What would you say then, Lily?" James snarled. "What if I told her she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, or probably will ever see? That she has a heart of gold, and that she makes me laugh more than anything, and that she has a bubbly personality that all the girls envy. And what if I asked her why she was the only girl who would ever have my heart, because she is the only girl who will ever have it. And what if I asked her why -"

"- that girl isn't me," Lily finished sadly. "You're right," she said quietly. "I've been playing more games than you have. You don't have to lie to me anymore. You didn't have to pretend to almost kiss me. I know you love Catherine, I just…I didn't know what to feel when I saw you with her a few months ago, I thought that you still…fancied me, and that I would have a chance, but I blew it, I know I did…I'm acting like a prat because I fancy you," she chuckled mirthlessly. "I'm a mess. Who knew it could come down to this, eh?" She gave him a lopsided grin when she saw his flabbergasted expression. She felt very small, and drained.

James looked at her with an air of incredulity and pining. She played with the hem of her sweater and picked out a small twig. She wondered how she must look, probably like a Forest Fairy with uninspiring hair.

"Lily," James said tenderly, and he reached for her hand. She froze. He let go of her hand and raised her chin with his thumb, so that she had no choice but to look at his smothering eyes.

"Lily," he said again, as if to remind himself of what he was going to say. He looked at her large, jade eyes, rose petal lips, and ivory skin that stilled his heart. "Catherine. Is. Not. My. Girlfriend. There was no way I could have loved another girl."

"Then…why did you buy her chocolate?" she asked, not caring that the question was trivial. Besides, she was not understanding him, but hope bloomed in her heart like a bright flower.

"She loves Sirius," he said, amused. He dropped his hand from her chin and put them in his back pocket casually. "I told her he loved Honeyduke's Hickory Breath Chocolate," he said warmly. "And how did you know I bought it for her? Did you stalk me?" he joked.

"Well I thought you were on a date, so being the gentleman you are, you wouldn't have let her buy her own chocolate," Lily reasoned. "And that Hickory Breath Chocolate is revolting," she said, grimacing. James laughed heartily and they both rejoiced in their own quiet mirth before a calm settled in.

A light wind breezed though and Lily shivered lightly, even with her sweater. Without missing a beat, James said, "Accio cloak", and when it flew to his hand he wrapped it gingerly around Lily. Lily shook him off and smiled.

"No thanks, you'll get cold. I think we should go back to the castle," she told him, but neither of them moved. James put his cloak around his arm and glanced at a point over Lily's head. Lily turned around and was staring at the tree that looked like a man with a hunched back.

"Lovely," Lily said, and she meant it. She felt James and his heat behind her and she leaned back. She heard him discard his cloak again, and his strong arms wrapped around her waist and she was immediately immersed in warmth and security, and everything else a James Potter can give you with a simple embrace. He nestled his head in the crook of her shoulder.

"Everything I said before, about loving Catherine, all that rubbish - I meant everything I said, but you're the one it was about. I never got over you. Even after all the stuff you've done to me, I forgive you, and you've said some pretty horrible things, but-"

"He bends, and bends, but hasn't broken," Lily murmured, looking at the tree. She felt his smile molding into her neck.

"He'll be part of something beautiful and knows it'll be worth it," James responded.

Well, what do you think?

R&R?