Chapter 5

It was nearly an hour later when he realized how selfish he was being. He slowly stood up and kissed her forehead again.

"I'll be back later, okay? The others will probably want to see you some more."

He let go of her hand and carefully set it back down on the bed. He walked down the hallway and into the waiting room where the rest of the team sat. Grace stood up as he walked and met him halfway across the floor.

"How is she? Had there been a change? Is she awake yet?" She asked quickly.

"Slow down, Grace," he said with a small smile. "She is doing okay but is still asleep. He sat in a chair close to Cho and Rigsby.

"Sorry I was in there so long. I didn't even think about it. I just couldn't leave, you know?" he apologized as he put his head in his hands.

"Don't worry about it man. You're fine," Cho assured him.

"Grace, you next," Jane said.

"Okay, thanks."

While walking down the hallway, Grace couldn't help but think of how horrible it would be if Lisbon hadn't made it out okay. How weird it would be without her there to help them, guide them. She reached the room and stood there a while wondering if it was okay she was going to see Lisbon second. What would Lisbon think? Managing to somehow push her fear to the back of her mind, Grace opened the door.

As soon as she saw Lisbon she ran to the side of the bed and half-hugged her. Lisbon was awake! Grace was very happy, and then, just like that, she was on the other side of the room.

"I…I am sorry. I will go… get Jane," she stammered

"He is okay? How?"

"He is fine. He is here waiting for you. I really am sorry."

Lisbon just looked at her, shock showing clear as day on her face.

Grace turned and walked to the door, and she was almost gone when she heard Lisbon speak quitely. "Wait. Grace…"

Taking a deep breath, Grace walked back into the room.

"Yes?" she said looking nervous.

"What have you got to be sorry for? I, I don't understand. Please… enlighten me," she shut her tired eyes for a moment and listened to the beeping of her machine.

"Well, I shouldn't be here. Not when you wake up. I mean, I'm just someone on your team…"

"No, Grace, you are not just someone on the team. You are someone on my team. Someone who is my friend. Someone who I happen to want to see. You think I don't appreciate you, that I don't see that you come to work before your shift and leave long after it ends. But you see, I think it is you who doesn't understand how much you mean to everyone on the team and how important you are when it comes to working as a team. I enjoy working with you and I would very much like to be your friend outside of work. I do what I do to make sure you know what you are in for, that this is by no means, an easy job. I see that you know that now. I did it to everyone."

"Wow, I… huh. I never knew. But why did you want me? Is there something you need?"

"I needed to tell you that."

"Oh."

The room fell silent for a moment. But it was a comfortable silence. One shared between friends.

"I'll go get the team."

"Um, Grace, can you just send in Patrick for a moment. Don't tell them I am awake yet, okay? Just make something up, like the nurse needs him or something. Please?"

"Sure. I will find a way," she said with a determined smile.

"Thanks Grace. I am really glad I was able to tell you that," she said and she smiled weakly.

Grace smiled in return. "Me too. I will see you later."

"Okay, sounds good," she said with a tired voice.

Grace went down the hall taking her time. She was coming up with a plan. As she returned to the waiting room she smiled. She had an idea.

Jane saw Grace return and asked how Lisbon was. She could see how much Lisbon meant to him, and she thought it was cute.

"Jane, Lisbon's doctor wants to see you."

"What's wrong? Is she okay?" Jane asked with a voice full of worry as he jumped out of the chair he was in.

Grace felt horrible for making Jane think something was wrong with Lisbon. She had not planned on him thinking that. She hated seeing how hurt he looked because of what she said.

"Oh, she is fine… good. She's good," she said a little too fast.

"Where is he?" he asked as he stood up.

"He was in her room when I left." 'Good one,' she thought to herself.

"Alright. Thanks Grace."

He took off down the hall. He saw her doctor farther down and called for him somewhat quietly. When Jane reached him, he smiled.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked.

"Um, no. I don't need to see you," he told Jane confused.

"Well Grace told me… never mind. Must have been a mistake."

He turned towards the room Grace and the team was in, but decided to instead go in again and see Lisbon. He opened her door and walked in. He looked at her quickly, then at the machine that was showing her heartbeat. He did a double take.

"Hey Jane," she said giving his favorite smile.

"Teresa!" he practically shouted at her as he crossed the room in a few steps, and pulled her into a hug.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, understand? I can't lose you," he said to her, "Why would you do that to yourself?"

She looked away from him. How could she tell him she loved him? It wasn't that easy. No one loved her. Not anymore. When her mother died it messed her up, so what chance sis she have at love, right?

"I… because."

Jane put a hand under her chin, and gently made her look at him.

"Why?" He searched her eyes for any sign, for any answer.

"It was my fault. My fault." She looked out the window again. Her gaze landed on two young children playing in their backyard. She wished she could be that oblivious, that innocent.

"How? I was the one that made you agree. All this, all of it, is my fault, not yours. Please understand. If something happens to me, don't give up your life. Yours is so full of love and meaning. You are an amazing person, you just don't seem know it."

"How can I live without you?" As soon as she said it, a hand flew up to her mouth and covered it. She couldn't believe she said that. Now he would hate her. He doesn't love her…

"How? Like you did before I met you. You would have to go on with your life. I mean it."

She looked at him again. Hoping he would let go what she had just said, and forget about it, she was kind of upset when he said something.

"Is that why you hurt yourself? You didn't want to live without me?" Jane asked her somewhat shocked as what she had said dawned on him.

This time she turned her body slightly so she was looking right at him.

"You know what, you're right. I don't want to live without you, okay? I am sorry that what happened to you made me feel pain so horrible, it was like a hole was in my heart. I don't know why this happened, and I sure don't know how, but it did it. I am sorry you were strong enough when you lost your wife and daughter, and I wasn't strong enough to lose you. You probably think I am weak, I do too. I obviously am not as great as everyone thinks I am. Do you know what hurts the most? Thinking you lost the only person who you have ever really cared for. And you know what hurts even more? The fact that I would have lost you and you wouldn't even have known that I do care," she finished finally.

She looked over at him and saw his smile.

"You think this is funny?" she demanded.

"I think it is funny how you went on, and nothing you said changed how much I care about you. You can say whatever you want, and do whatever you want, and I will still always love you. It doesn't matter what happened or will happen ten years down the road. All that matters is that now, we are both okay. You are right. I don't think you are strong or brave or amazing. I know it. And everyone else who knows you thinks so too."

She looked at him and a small smile graced her face as she sighed in relief. Her eyes closed again, and she let out a yawn.

"Go to sleep, Teresa. Everything is okay now," he told her. His hand brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"Jane, please don't leave. I need you, okay?" She couldn't believe that she had said that. Did she need anyone? 'No, but maybe... maybe it wouldn't be so bad.'

"I won't leave you. You're alright now. Sleep."

He pulled covers over her, and then laid down on top of them. He pulled her close, and she relaxed at his touch.

"Good night Teresa," he told her as he wrapped his arm around her.

"Good night Patrick," she sighed into his shoulder.

"Hey, Patrick?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"I think I love you," she said as she closed her eyes.

He chuckled. "I love you."

She had already fallen asleep, but he would tell her again as soon as she woke up. They would be okay now. The part that hurt the most was over, and now the healing could begin. The path they would both take would begin and end the same way: with them together.

This is it... Thank you for sticking with me through it. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think! -Morgan