Disclaimer: Nope.

A/N: So, dancesthroughlife and I have been watching Pirates of the Caribbean...for about half our lives, actually. But more recently, we've been watching it, and the spoofs have been formulating, and... well... you know how it is with us by now. If you don't, check out dancesthroughlife's profile. Most of our insanity is archived there.

Set after At World's End. Will and Elizabeth's plot.... with a modern twist. Enjoy?

An Ageless Romance

By: dancesthroughlife & SunshineandDaisys

Will stared longingly out into the ocean, leaning on the rail of his ship, the Flying Dutchman. The ship was currently covered in a layer of ocean slime about three inches thick. They had just emerged from their recent voyage to the underworld because Will had a... meeting to attend.

A meeting that had him sighing, looking out into the depths and wondering just how hard it might be to try and drown himself.

Bill Turner stepped out onto the deck his son was currently occupying. "Son? I mean, err, Captain Turner? You about ready to make port?"

"Yeaaah..."

The elder Turner came to lean on the ship rails beside his son, shooting him a questioning look. "You don't want to... go?"

Will abruptly straightened, slamming his hands down on the wooden surface before him. "It's too weird! I don't wanna see the kid, I feel like some deadbeat dad! I send him gold doubloons twice a month and I bought him a huge feathered hat for Christmas last year, too! But I never see him. It's just because of my job, but how could he understand that? He won't be ten for another nine months!"

"Well, he is your son, son. Trust me - getting to know your kids is always an adventure."

Captain Turner sighed again, leaning back down on his elbows. "I know. But things between Elizabeth and I have been weird, too. In the letters she writes... it's like she doesn't even love me anymore. We don't feel... connected, Dominic, Elizabeth and I. Like she's just my baby mama. An ol' ball and chain..."

"You can solder that right back off, you know?"

Will glanced down to the shackles on his ankles with a grimace, "Yeaaah. I should probably take care of that before I go to shore."

"Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me.."

A woman with flowing golden tresses followed her son slowly up the cliff side, smiling as he sang. The song reminded her of days gone by, a certain day on a beach....

"Mommy, mommy, is that him?!" The boy suddenly exclaimed as a green flash and a loud pop occurred on the horizon, revealing a pirate ship.

Elizabeth Turner slid an arm around her son, nodding. "Yes that is your.... my husband." Her smile faltered a little bit.

It took about half an hour for the ship to drop anchor and Will to mosey his way to the shore. During this time, Elizabeth and her son, Dominic, strolled down from the cliff to the beach below. They watched as Will rowed up in the dinghy and splashed his way onto the sand. Not walking on land for an entire decade brought new meaning to the term "sea legs", and Will found himself stumbling in the tide before suddenly falling face-first into the beach.

Elizabeth stifled a giggle. Will wiped the sand off his face and wobbled his way to his wife, who met him in a lover's embrace.

"Ouch, woman, you're kracken' my backen'!"

"Oh, haha, Will!" Elizabeth pulled away and smiled. "You're so funny!"

Captain Turner laughed awkwardly, rubbing his spine. "Yeah..."

They both stared at each other for a few minutes in a not so comfortable silence, seeing each other for the first time in a decade. Suddenly Will realized there was another person present, approximately half his size, with dark hair down to his shoulders.

"So...uh...is this young Dominic?"

"Aye, Mr. Turner!" The boy piped, beaming up at him. Will was slightly taken aback at this, looking back to his wife with confused eyes.

Elizabeth instantly turned to the child, reprimanding him. "That is no way to talk to your father, young man!"

Dominic pouted at his mother, "But I thought Jack was my father!"

Will's jaw fell open.

"Ehehehe!" Elizabeth began to look petrified. "Such nonsense! Where on earth do you get these ideas, Dominic? Jack is your uncle! Uncle Jack!!!"

"Ooooh," the boy nodded. "Like Uncle Barbossa, Uncle Marty, Uncle Cotton, Uncle Gibbs, Uncle Pintel, Uncle Ragetti, Uncle Jocard, Uncle Teague, Uncle Sheesh...Shish....Sheeshum..."

"You mean, Sumbhajee?" offered Will numbly.

"YEAH!! That's the one!"

Will and Elizabeth looked at each other for a long moment, the ugly truth dawning in Will's mind.

"Soo," Elizabeth began. "Guess that cat is, uh, out of the bag?"

"Oh, something got out, alright." Will snapped. "You little--"

"Not in front of Dominic!" Elizabeth clapped her hands over the boys ears.

Will threw his hands up in exasperation, "Oh! That's rich! Like the boy hasn't obviously been raised by pirates!"

"Well at least Jack has been here for him! Unlike somebody who--"

"And Marty, and Cotton, and Gibbs, and Pintel?!" Will interrupted, counting off the names on his fingers. "When did you have time for all--"

Elizabeth slapped him. "It's been a long ten years, okay? I've been lonely, Will!"

"Oh, I'll say it's been a long ten years. Are those crows feet?" Will asked dryly, rubbing his cheek.

Elizabeth gaped, then narrowed her eyes, "Is that a tentacle I see?"

Will began whipping around, trying to see his backside. "Where?!"

Young Dominic grew bored then and began whistling his tune, pulling off his... very familiar looking hat and examining the inside. The removal of the hat revealed a solitary braid of hair, which had been tied together with colorful strings, a single coin dangling down. Will stopped flailing in time to see this.

"I see he isn't wearing my hat." Captain Turner's eye twitched. "In fact, I see that more than his hat bears a resemblance to a certain rogue pirate we may both know..."

Elizabeth crossed her arms. "Yes, well, I let Dominic dress as he pleases. In fact, that hat is his favorite."

"Out of the many he owns, I'm sure." Will muttered.

There was another long silence, broken by Will this time.

"I should just go."

"Yeah," Elizabeth examined her fingernails. "You should."

"Bye Mr. Turner!" Dominic waved. "It sure was nice to meet you!"

At this, Will blinked and began trekking back down to his dinghy, stumbling a bit in an almost Jack-esque way. Elizabeth shouted after him, "I STILL EXPECT THOSE DOUBLOONS NEXT MONTH!"

He flipped her the bird and headed back to work.

End A/N: We would just like to take this opportunity to say that we do not necessarily support, or not support, the following pairings: Sparrowbeth, Willabeth, Barbossabeth, Martabeth, Cottobeth, Gibbeth, Pinteth, Rageth, Jocbeth, Teagubeth, Sumbeth... and of the other, lesser known, love interests of one Elizabeth Turner...er, probably Swan again by now.

Drink up me hearties, yo-ho?