Rating/Warnings: M for pervasive references to threesomes and passing references to masturbation.

Disclaimer: It's Maki Murakami's sandbox; I just play in it. I don't own the rights to Gravitation or its characters and I don't profit from writing about them.

Summary: Shuichi and Eiri discuss the possibility of participating in a threesome. Dialogue fic.

Word Count: 750 excluding introduction and author's note.

Threesome

"Hey, Yuki, I just read an article in this women's magazine that says that the favorite sexual fantasy of men ages eighteen to thirty-five is a threesome."

"I'm not interested. Besides, that magazine is written for women. They interviewed men who have sex with women. That doesn't mean that men who have sex with men have the same fantasies."

"But Yuki! I thought sex was sex. Men like sex. Wouldn't they like the same things whether they're with men or women?"

"Far from it, you idiot. Besides, you're mine and I don't want you to forget it." He paused. "Who would we invite, anyway?"

Shuichi blushed. "Well, there's Tatsuha…"

"I'm not having sex with my brother! Why is it so many people think I have, or would want to?" He thought about it for a few seconds and a light bulb went off. "You're interested in having sex with him. You want to compare us, right?"

Shuichi blushed more deeply. "Well, he does look and sound like you, except his skin and hair and eyes are darker."

Eiri rolled his eyes. "Remember how he tried to molest you the first time you met? And you appealed to me for help?"

"Yeah," Shuichi shot back indignantly, "and your response when you showed up was to tell him not to stop on your account!"

"He stopped anyway. And I was kidding. Couldn't you tell?"

"No," Shuichi said sullenly.

Silently vowing never to leave Shuichi alone with Tatsuha again, Eiri added, "And you'd better not be thinking about your friend Hiro."

"What? I'm not attracted to him that way! We're just friends."

"You mean the two of you have never messed around?"

"Huh?"

"Watched each other beat off? Touched each other, maybe even beat each other off?"

"What? No! What are you, jealous?"

Eiri refused to dignify that question with an answer; besides, the answer was obvious.

"You barely get along with Suguru as it is, he's too much like his manipulative cousin, and the height difference is even greater than ours."

Shuichi, who never understood the confusing iseme/uke/i height rules anyway, nodded. "I suppose Ryuichi is out of the ques-"

"Don't you dare mention him!" Eiri huffed. "It was bad enough that you left me for him, however briefly, but to suggest a threesome with him!"

"I'm sorry," Shuichi said contritely. "I suppose Tohma is--"

"Out of the question too!" Eiri snapped. "I don't care how much he comes on to me, he's married to my sister, even if he seems to forget it. And I'd much rather he be my friend than our lover."

"And K's straight, even though lots of people seem to think he's not."

"Besides, he's a trigger-happy, gun-crazed maniac."

"And Sakano's a nerdy, needy neurotic."

Eiri made a face. "I wonder if he's ever had sex with anything other than his own hand. And he may even be too shy for that."

"Yuki!"

"Sorry. I noticed you didn't mention any women."

"I thought you weren't interested in the idea."

"I'm not. I'm just speaking hypothetically."

"I remember you admiring Nori's figure the first time we slept together. But she's married."

"I hope you didn't tell Tetsuya about my admiring her figure. Or her."

"Why not her?"

"She'd be entirely too puffed up with herself about it. Plus she'd tell Mika, who'd make sure I suffered for it somehow."

"What about Reiji?"

"What about her? That iotaku/i? You might find her attractive, but I don't. And besides, wasn't she behind that movie that led to your involvement with Ryuichi in the first place?"

Shuichi hung his head in shame. Reiji had been kind to him, according to her lights, once upon a time, but Eiri was right: she was partially responsible for the mess he'd gotten himself into with Ryuichi. She was as manipulative as Tohma in her own way.

After a brief pause, Shuichi said, "I guess we're stuck with each other."

"That's okay with me." Switching to English, Eiri said, "Hey, good-looking Asian pool boy, can you oil me up some more?"

Shuichi looked at him a little blankly until he figured out what Eiri had said. "Coming right up!" he said in heavily accented English.

Eiri sighed contentedly as he lay on a chaise lounge on the balcony, pretending to be an American lying by the pool at a resort being tended to by a cute Asian pool attendant. Role playing was better than threesomes anyway, and as a bonus, Shuichi was learning English.

* * *

The survey mentioned in this story appears in the current edition of Cosmopolitan, which I read while standing in the check out line at the grocery store. I believe it's in the August 2009 issue. I've been advised that Cosmopolitan is sold in Japan, although possibly under another name. Maybe Shuichi borrowed the magazine from his sister rather than purchasing it himself.

P.S. – Don't worry; Eiri was using sunscreen.