Title: "Fawn"
Author: Uke
Rating: PG-13 – For cursing.
Pairing: Manjyome x Shou (Chazz x Syrus)
Genre: Romance, fluff, angst
A/N: My muses attack me whenever I least expect it. xD So recently I was on vacation upstate, New York and it was honest to god the vacation from heeeell. Dx But the one thing I really liked up there was all the scenery and mountains and such. I also liked that we saw so many cows, and bunnies, and chipmunks, and sheep and DEER! :D Well anyway, on the way back to the hotel one day, we saw a fawn (baby deer) omnomnom'ing on some leaves on the tree. Obviously I squee'd and spazzed because baby deer are probably one of the cutest things EVER!! I mean come on…it's BAMBI! 3 So anyway, I then got to thinking how innocent fawns (or adult deer too, really) are. They have big eyes with so much expression and they seriously don't hurt any other animal or person. They just exist peacefully and run away when there's any danger. Then thinking about how deer act made me think about bunnies (…I think a lot. xD;;; ) and as soon as I think about them I was reminded about Shou. :3 I think he's extremely bunny-like and if he was an animal he'd definitely be a bunny for a variety of different reasons besides the fact that he'd look fuckable with bunny ears. xP So then…I dunno, when I thought about that; POOF! And fanfic idea popped into my head! xD This is a kind of strange idea so I hope that I could make it work and that you guys will like it. Please note that this story is reaaaally AU. In this Shou isn't related to Ryo and never went to Duel Academia and never met anyone that's in that school. This story takes place at the end of season 4 only…yeah, with this different scenario.
Warning(s): SHOUNEN-AI (BOY x BOY relationship), AU, cross-dressing, cursing, and EXTREMELY effeminate Shou. Please do not read if these things offend you in any way.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Yugioh, Yugioh GX, or any of the related characters.
It was dusk; the chirping of the birds were still heard, the quiet rustling of the leaves as the wind blew through the trees, but besides the calming sounds of nature, everything was basically silent. Manjyome's black shoes stepped down on the leaves and grass making cracking sounds as he broke sticks in half, and shattered already browned leaves.
Virtually, he was in the middle of nowhere. There were no lights in the middle of the woods, no roads, cars, or people. If he left the forest he'd probably be able to find a trace of human life and find his way home, but he hated people; he didn't want to deal with anyone's lies…anyone's emotions and two-faced personalities that make you believe one thing when they're really intending to do another. He wanted to be alone, and the woods were a perfect place to do just that. There was no one there to see him, talk to him, lie to him; hurt him. Jun Manjyome was alone to tend to his own feelings and thoughts.
Duel Academia… He had gone there to prefect his dueling skills and potentially make his dreams of becoming a pro duelist. He had failed in that field, after being rejected by every pro league he had entered. And instead, he made the biggest mistake he felt he could ever do; he got attached to people. He became infatuated with Asuka, fascinated by Ryo, and connected to Judai. The ties he had to Asuka and Ryo never damaged him, but the connection to Judai basically destroyed him. He cared about him. Cared enough to follow him to the Dark World to save him. There he was sacrificed, he knew now that it wasn't Judai's fault, but why hadn't Judai once apologized or showed Manjyome even now that he cared? Then Judai changed. Judai was numb; the way Manjyome had always been. But the problem with Judai's becoming numb was that it had affected the millions of lives that he touched. Manjyome being numb didn't affect a single soul.
In this forest or not, Manjyome was alone. He didn't have a soul to truly care about him, and he didn't care about anyone else. It was his self-protection, his shield that he put up so that no one could get too close. He didn't want that, and he regretted letting even Judai get as close as he did. From now on, Manjyome would stay alone; the way he had always wanted to be. No one to see him, talk to him, lie to him; hurt him.
He walked deeper into the forest; the tall trees covering the sun and making everything seem darker and later in the day. He had no destination, no idea what he was going to do if he did get lost and he was out here until it was fully dark out. But these thoughts didn't even cross his mind, he just didn't care. He was alone, and in the quiet and that's all he wanted. Trivial matters that people would normally worry about didn't cause him to stop walking for even a moment. He almost wanted to get lost. He wanted to be lost so deep in these woods that it would be an eternity before he saw another human again. He knew deep down inside that this wasn't practical, but when was being practical his main concern? Solitude was his single upmost desire.
He saw up ahead, a light in the middle of the forest. A light where there was a mini valley and the trees parted to allow the sun fall in. It reminded him of a dramatic scene in nature that you would only see in a movie or a postcard, he had no idea that they existed in real life. He decided that it was a good idea to walk forward into it and stop there so he could rest for a few moments before he continued his journey to nowhere. As he neared it closer, he saw that he wasn't alone as he hoped to be.
Kneeling on the grass in the middle of this valley, was a small ambiguous human with pale blue hair and large, glassy silver eyes that were covered by a small pair of silver glasses that rested delicately on their nose. They were wearing a simple white dress with thin straps on the shoulders, a white ribbon in the back that fell gracefully down the person's hips. They were extremely small, looking almost about six years old, and every single feature on them from what Manjyome could see was extremely delicate and small, feminine and dainty. This person was so delicate, in fact, that Manjyome had a gut feeling that they shouldn't be sitting all alone. The person looked like they naturally needed protection in an extreme way, as if they shouldn't even be allowed to cross the street without holding someone's hand. The soft pink lips of the person were curled into a small and sweet smile, and their tiny hands were reaching out to gently pick a yellow flower out of the ground. They picked it so gently, actually, that it looked as though they were trying not to hurt it. Then as graceful and ballerina-like as ever, they brought the flower to their small nose, smelling the perfume-like scent of it. As Manjyome stared he wasn't sure if he should feel confused or disgusted. Was this person for real? Who did that? In the world he knew people would step on flowers and not think twice, but this person was picking it up as if it were a newborn baby.
He was debating on whether or not he should just go a different way and pretend that he never saw this person, when he found his legs having a mind of their own. He took a careful step forward, stepping on a stick that cracked under his weight. This caused the person to gasp, looking up directly at Manjyome with his wide, innocent-looking eyes.
They locked eye contact for about a minute and Manjyome couldn't think of a single thing to say, nor was he sure that he wanted to say anything at all. Then the other slowly started standing up, cautiously, as if they were trying to decide which would be the quickest and safest way to get away. Manjyome was going to let them, he wanted to let them. After all, what was the big deal of letting them get away? He didn't even want to see anyone right now, that's why he was in the woods in the first place. He wanted to be as far away from human life as possible. So why should this one tiny stranger be any different?
But once again, Manjyome's thoughts were ignored and the messages he was sending from his brain were blocked. His hand reached out towards the smaller. "Wait-" He found himself saying, "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."
The flower was still clutched in their hand and their body seemed to relax after hearing Manjyome's words. However, their eyes were still locked on Manjyome's and they still had a feeling of cautiousness about them. And for god knows what reason, Manjyome felt bad about this. He didn't want them to be nervous; he wanted them to be comfortable. Manjyome Thunder- someone who didn't give a fuck about ANYONE, didn't like that this person looked nervous. Maybe he had been walking for too long.
Manjyome walked forward until he was standing right in front of the smaller. "Are you a boy or girl?" He asked, noticing right away the pause that came from the other. "…Boy." He said. His lips moved so unusually graceful when he formed the word, and his voice was just as sugary sweet and small as the rest of him.
So there's a cross-dressing boy picking flowers in the middle of the woods? Where the hell AM I? Manjyome shook his head and looked at the boy up and down, somewhat examining as much of him as he could while ignoring the blush that started to cross the bluenette's face. "What are you doing here?" He asked, "Are you alone?" He wasn't sure why exactly he was becoming so curious about another person when he knew very well that he probably shouldn't care at all. There was the hesitation again. It kind of annoyed Manjyome. Did this boy know how to talk or was he just being careful about his answers? "I don't know." Was the small reply, "I don't know why I'm here." For some reason this answer had Manjyome glaring at him, how the fuck did someone not know why they were somewhere? If someone had asked Manjyome what he was doing in the middle of nowhere, he would reply right away about his deep psychological reasons. How could someone say that they didn't know? Now in a more annoyed tone, Manjyome pressed on. "So who are you here with?" This time there was no hesitation, but the boy shook his head. "I didn't come here with anyone…I don't think." He then pointed, "Right now I'm here with you."
For some reason every single answer was getting Manjyome angrier and angrier, to the point where he felt his blood boiling. His eyes narrowed further and he locked a deep eye contact with the boy that seemed to make his nervous expression return. "Are you being sarcastic with me?! I asked you a question, answer it correctly!" The boy seemed to flinch, "N-no…!! I'm sorry…" He looked away from Manjyome, "I-I'm sorry if that was the wrong answer…I was just telling the truth…I was alone earlier but now you're here…s-so I'm here with you."
Manjyome sighed. This boy's innocent persona wasn't just an act. They really WERE as innocent as they looked. It was really pathetic, almost border-lining on sickening. "How old are you?" His glare had faded away but he felt a little calmer. "S-sixteen…I think…y-yeah, sixteen." Damn, his answers were annoying. "How come you're so unsure with your answers?" Manjyome said, pressuring him. "Why can't you just answer!?" The boy fixed the strap of his dress and looked away from him. "I-I'm sorry…I'm getting you angry…I didn't mean to…" Manjyome half-growled, "And stop apologizing!! I'm not angry!!" That flinch again. It tugged at Manjyome's heart. "I-I'm sorry, I-!" His eyes widened and he covered his mouth when he realized his mistake. "I…" He mumbled behind his hands.
This was pathetic, but also heart-breaking at the same time. Manjyome gently pat the boy on the head, thinking perhaps the gesture would calm him. Instead, the boy flinched again and Manjyome was half expecting him to pull away from his hand. "It's okay…" Manjyome then whispered, a voice that came out so soft that it even shocked him. "I didn't mean to yell, alright? I…don't have the best temper. I'm the one that should apologize…you're not doing anything wrong…" He didn't understand why he was being so nice, so he cleared his throat and looked away, suddenly feeling awkward at it all. "A-anyway, my name's Jun Manjyome Thunder…and who are you?" The boy was looking up at him carefully now, his silver eyes flickering with innocence and curiosity. "Shou." He replied softly, Manjyome raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a last name?" Shou shook his head, "No…I don't think so…it's just Shou…is that okay?" Though Manjyome had never heard of someone without a last name, he decided to relax his temper so he wouldn't scare Shou away. What was the deal with this kid? "Whatever, it's fine. Shou. Nice…nice name." Shou was turning pink again, but this time he just looked down as his feet shuffled shyly at the dirt. "T-thank you…y-you too, Manjyome-san."
There was an awkward silence between the two, and Manjyome was having that heart-breaking feeling over Shou again. He had never met someone this incredibly awkward and timid in his life. It was almost as if the other had zero self confidence, and being extremely self-confident himself and always being around high esteemed people, this was very unusual for him. But seeing Shou so awkward was making Manjyome's feelings turn the same. He looked around the woods, avoiding eye contact with the smaller and he looked up at the sky. Shadows were surrounding the meadow now, and he knew that if it was looking darker here, the area inside of the woods would probably seem as though it was midnight. "It's…getting dark." Manjyome stated, breaking the silence. "Do you have some place to stay, Shou?" Shou looked up at Manjyome, his silver eyes glistening and his hesitation before answers returned. "I don't know…" He replied meekly. Manjyome wanted to glare, but his body didn't let him. Instead, he sighed. "Then where are you going to spend the night?" Shou looked down from him, blushing again as if he was scared of how Manjyome would react to his answers. "I don't know…" Manjyome looked at him curiously, "Then…where the hell do you USUALLY stay when it gets dark?" "I don't know, I don't…I'm s-sorry…"
This was pathetic. This boy was so incredibly useless and confused, awkward and under-confident beyond belief. But he also had a great deal of helplessness and innocence about him. It almost made Manjyome feel bad. In this cruel world, there was so much evil…it was as though everyone was out there to hurt one another because of human nature's natural selfish ways. And yet, this boy was so alone and so innocent to everything. If Manjyome wanted to, he could use the hell out of him right now and he was already certain that Shou wouldn't do a single thing to stop him. Hell, the way things were going he was sure that Shou might even apologize even when it would be Manjyome that was hurting him.
Shou was just lucky that he ran into Manjyome in the woods and not someone else. Manjyome hated people, but he wasn't the type to hurt anyone or use and abuse them. He was used to getting hurt; again and again by others and he didn't want to be that type of person. He'd rather just avoid others at all cost then turn into what he was certain was destined for human nature. "So…you have no place to go? You're just going to sit here when it gets dark? Alone?" Shou seemed to jump slightly at the thought, "A-alone?" He repeated, looking up at Manjyome with those ridiculously innocent eyes. "You're leaving me?"
And Manjyome wasn't sure why, but seeing that expression on the smaller boy's face, and hearing him say that in a tone of voice that he had never heard from anyone before, practically ripped Manjyome's heart to shreds. He didn't even know this boy, and yet Shou sounded genuinely SAD that Manjyome was going to walk away from him!! Sad, hah, over me… People I know don't even give a fuck that I walked out of their lives forever, and yet this boy doesn't want me to walk away from him when the only thing he knows about me is my name. He's ridiculous…this whole situation is ridiculous. What have I gotten myself into…? Manjyome sighed, shaking his head. "You really ARE helpless, aren't you?" He looked down at Shou carefully, and was almost tempted to touch his face to see if this boy was actually real. "Who are you?" Shou cocked his head to the side, "I am Shou." He said, "And you're Manjyome…" Manjyome rolled his eyes, half wanting to tell Shou that wasn't want he meant, but he figured that he didn't want to see anymore of those heart-breaking expressions on the smaller boy's face. "Whatever." He replied instead, "Come on."
Manjyome then reached down and grabbed Shou's hand, shocked when he did so when he felt how soft it was. Shou's hands were very small, but it fit the rest of his smallness perfectly. He didn't intertwine their fingers, but he almost wanted to just because of how slender Shou's fingers were, how perfect it felt to hold them all together… "W-what are you doing, Manjyome-san?" Shou asked, "Where are we going?" Without even answering him, Manjyome tugged on the boy's arm and started forward back towards the darkness of the woods.
Manjyome found himself walking faster than he had when he was entering the woods and wandering around. He was holding Shou's hand tightly to not lose him, but was still several steps in front of him, the two an arms distance away. Shou couldn't keep up with how small his legs and stride were, and also Manjyome was guessing that Shou was probably still confused as to what Manjyome was doing in the first place. Manjyome was somewhat dragging Shou along, but he was still being more gentle than he normally would be with another human being. Shou was innocent, small, and obviously delicate. He couldn't be rough with him, even though pulling him along like this might already be too much.
Shou was practically stumbling along to keep up. He was instinctively holding Manjyome's hand back tightly as if he almost wanted to follow, but he looked scared and confused. "M-Manjyome…! Manjyome-san!" His small voice called out, as he tried making his steps as big as possible to keep up, still walking carefully to not step on anything unwanted. "W-where are we going? I d-don't…I don't understand…your hand…" Manjyome felt Shou's fingers moving inside of the grip he had on his hand, and next thing he knew Shou –who was still following along, was now blushing behind him. Manjyome sighed and stopped walking, letting go of the smaller's hand and turned around to look at him. His expression was gentle, but serious. "I'm taking you back to my place. Just…just for tonight. You look lost and you're confused, and you don't even know where you're going to stay for the night. I don't know who you are or what the hell is up with you, but you're too helpless and pathetic for me to just LEAVE you there. I'm not that heartless."
"Your…place…" Shou repeated, as his blush on his face darkened. He looked down shyly, "T-thank you…y-you're…nice." Manjyome scoffed at the idea, "Nice. Hah, that's a good one." He shook his head, "Listen; I won't hold your hand if you don't want me to. But then you have to walk beside me, okay? You have to stay close to me; I don't want to lose you in here. You're too small, and it's too dark so I won't be able to find you again if we get separated. Understand?" Shou nodded for a moment but then looked around. It was dark. It was sunset, but with all of the trees hiding the setting sun, it was practically night-time here in the woods. It was an eerie feeling. Manjyome didn't care because he always liked the darkness, but it terrified Shou. He hated the dark, especially the idea of being alone in it. It was the feeling of what could pop out while being hidden, and what was lurking around; watching you.
With a small whine, and a nervous expression on his face, Shou suddenly moved closer to Manjyome and grabbed onto the bottom of his shirt with his small hand. "N-no…" He said in a scared voice, a voice so small and that was trembling so much that it was almost like a whisper. "I'm s-scared… I don't like the dark… Y-you could hold my hand, Manjyome-san…I f-felt safer…" Manjyome opened up his mouth to get ready to talk, when Shou's eyes then widened and he brought his hands to cover his lips. "Ah! W-well, you don't really have to…i-if you don't want to I mean, b-but you were before so-" Manjyome sighed and brushed a strand of cotton candy blue hair away from Shou's face. "Shh," He said, "Don't worry so much, okay? If you want something, just say it. I'll hold your hand, alright? You don't need to be afraid of the dark…I'm here." Manjyome didn't understand why he was being so kind to Shou, as well as affectionate. He didn't even know the kid and yet he was doing all sorts of uncharacteristic things. Helping him through the forest, holding his hand, easing his fears, and most of all; taking him to his home. Why? What was it about this boy? Was it just Manjyome's own change of heart that was causing him to act in this way, or was it something that Shou was doing?
Manjyome shook his head and held Shou's hand again, this time intertwining their fingers without saying a word. He felt his cheeks getting hot as well, only because he almost felt awkward at how sweet and kind he was being to this boy. "Let's go." He said silently as he walked, this time not walking quite as fast so that Shou would be walking right beside him. Shou's fingers weren't moving in Manjyome's hand awkwardly this time, but he instead let their hands fit puzzle-like together. Manjyome felt that Shou was still feeling shy, but he also saw that Shou was standing a lot closer, mainly because he was scared, he guessed. As they walked, he saw Shou's head turning from direction to direction sharply with a small, scared gasp each time. He would turn if he heard the wind rustle a bush a certain way, if he heard a sudden hum from a bug, a flap of a bird trying to get comfortable in their nest, a stick cracking… It was almost comical to see how Shou would have a scared reaction to every single sound, but it was adorable as well. And at the same time it gave Manjyome a sense of protectiveness. He wanted to stay close to Shou as they walked, to try and ease the smaller boy's fears. He wanted to make sure that Shou knew that even if there WAS something hiding in the darkness, that he'd be safe. It gave Manjyome a purpose, for the time being at least, and he liked the feeling a lot. In fact, he liked it so much, that he didn't even notice when Shou let go of his hand to hug onto Manjyome's arm, to get even closer to safety. Normally Manjyome would never allow this from someone, let alone a complete stranger, but it actually made him smile mentally. He liked this. And he was feeling too comfortable with Shou right now to even care.
When they had finally made their journey out of the forest and to Manjyome's apartment, it was nightfall. Manjyome took his keys out of his pocket and opened the door, flicking the light switch by the door on and allowing Shou to go into the house first to escape the darkness quicker. When Shou stepped forward into the room, his feet barely made any sound at all as they walked forward. It kind of reminded Manjyome of those fairy tale princesses that would walk in such dainty and careful ways. Though Manjyome knew this was reality and he knew that Shou couldn't be a princess at all –cross-dressing or not, simply because of his gender. "Your home…it's nice." Shou said, turning back to Manjyome and smile at him. His smile made Manjyome's heart flutter. It was so sincere and precious, and the way he was looking into Manjyome's eyes made him feel like Shou had never smiled like this to anyone before. This was the first time either of them spoke since Manjyome comforted Shou in the woods, and he was actually surprised that it was timid Shou that spoke the first words.
He found himself wanting to smile back at Shou even though he didn't and he shrugged, looking away from him. "I guess… It's nothing too fancy. I have enough money from my family to buy a bigger house, but an apartment is good enough for me for now. It's simple. Thanks." It was true; Manjyome was actually rich because his family name was so wealthy. Though always overshadowed by his two older brothers, Manjyome grew up in a very large house with a lot of money. He had fortune all around him and could basically get anything he desired. Though now that he was long away from that old house as a kid, he didn't want to continue living life in a mansion. Sure, he still sometimes used his money for unnecessary things, but what did any of that matter anymore? Back in Duel Academia, when being forced to live in the Osiris Red dorm, he would even show off back then with making his dorm room more like a whole building than a single room. But now, he didn't want to stand out anymore. He didn't want anyone's attention or anyone acting fake towards him just to get at his wealth. Living in a simple apartment in the middle of a crowded town was actually the perfect way to be alone. Unless they knew something about his family or knew him from Duel Academia, Manjyome just looked like another face. Another lonely, distant, and cold face that no one should get to know or even bother with.
"Are you hungry?" Manjyome then asked. "C'mon, I'll make you dinner." He started towards the small kitchen-dining room without even waiting for Shou's response. The bluenette hesitated, but then followed him into the kitchen, continuing with his dainty and meek nature.
The whole time while Manjyome was setting up for dinner, Shou kept trying to find ways to make himself useful. He asked if he should cook instead, which Manjyome said no to for the safety of the two and the house. The boy was only a few inches taller than the kitchen counter, there was NO way he was going to let him work the stove. Then Shou asked if he could set the table which Manjyome allowed him to do just to get Shou out of his hair. But after Shou dropped a plate and a glass, and Manjyome realized that even though Shou looked and walked graceful, he actually wasn't, Manjyome demanded that Shou just sit at the table and be quiet, which Shou immediately did. The bluenette was a very good listener, if anything else. He wasn't sure if obedience was a talent or not, but if it was then Shou would win the talent competition for it.
Manjyome made a very small meal for the two. He wasn't very hungry after all of his depression and his adventures with meeting Shou today, and by Shou's height he was pretty certain that the boy wasn't really a huge eater. They ate in silence, and he noted that Shou was still trying his best to be quiet even though the dinner was already ready. Manjyome wasn't sure if he was thankful for the silence or uncomfortable. He didn't understand anything about Shou and in reality he had so many questions to ask him. But even though he did, he didn't know what questions to ask or how to ask them. And also, something was keeping him from speaking to Shou all that much in the first place. He wasn't sure if it was just his distance that was keeping him or something else all together but having a full conversation with this boy was harder than he wanted it to be.
\After dinner and making sure that Shou ate everything on his plate, he cleaned up and then turned to the smaller boy, who was swinging his legs back and forth on his chair. "I'm going to take you to my room. We can't sit here in the kitchen all night, can we?" Once again he felt the urge to smile at Shou but he stopped himself. It was as though he was afraid of the smile coming out. He didn't want it to be a fake smile or an insincere one, because he felt like Shou didn't deserve that. Shou was so sweet and pure, and Manjyome felt that if he was going to smile at him it would need to be real. Shou just nodded, and got up from his chair, pushing it in after he did so. Shou just followed Manjyome quietly to his room, and then joined Manjyome when the taller boy motioned for him to sit up on his bed.
There was an awkward pause before Manjyome cleared his throat to speak. "Shou…your name…that's the only thing I know about you." Shou blinked and looked up to him as Manjyome continued. "But at the same time, I invited you to come stay at my house with me and I've been kinder to you than I have with anyone in a few months. I don't understand it…what, are you hypnotizing me or something?" Shou cocked his head to the side, "No, I don't think I'm doing that…" Manjyome sighed and pat Shou on the head, "Don't worry. I was just kidding. You don't need to go and think about if you are or not, now." Shou blinked a few times, "Oh…" And then it happened, Manjyome smiled. It was a small smile, but a smile all the same and it was forced out of his heart before Manjyome could do anything to stop it. If he didn't know better, he could've sworn that Shou's eyes lit up when Manjyome smiled, and it made him want to smile even more. "You really are a naïve boy, aren't you? It's ridiculous…I've never met anyone like you before. How are you even real?"
Shou looked at his own hands, as if he was once again trying to think of a real answer for Manjyome. "I…I don't know. Everyone's so different, that it's almost weird. How are any of us real?" Manjyome sighed and then looked away, "Where did you come from? Have you always lived there in the woods?" Shou's brow furrowed slightly as if he was really deep in thought, trying his hardest to figure out the perfect answer, his hardest to figure out the answer for even himself. "I…I really don't know. I don't…remember anything." Manjyome wasn't really expecting an answer, but now he was starting to wonder if Shou had been in some kind of accident. Maybe he was living in the woods for a long time, but had amnesia and couldn't remember anything but his name. He had never seen him before and knew nothing about him, so really anything was possible. "Then in that case…what's the last thing you remember?" Manjyome's voice was as careful as possible. He didn't want to make Shou nervous, or scare him if he really DIDN'T have any answers for Manjyome.
"I remember being in that meadow…" Shou started to reply, "I remember thinking that everything was beautiful, and I loved the flowers. I was all by myself, but I didn't feel very lonely. I felt like I was waiting for someone. Waiting for someone who meant a lot to me and really cared about me… And then you walked over to me…" He looked up at Manjyome, his silver eyes glistening. "That's the last thing I remember before you brought me here." From Shou's story it sounded as though the bluenette didn't remember much from before Manjyome had found him. Though one part of the story really nerved him. Shou felt like he was waiting for someone? Who was this someone? And…were they in the woods looking for Shou now? Manjyome didn't trust anyone, and he didn't know much about people, but the one thing he was sure of was that if he DID have a caring bone in his body, he'd never want to leave Shou out of his sight. If he had left Shou somewhere and when he came to get him he was gone, he was sure that he'd be devastated as well as angry; ready to kill the first person that lay a hand on him. At the same time, however, he was also wondering a lot about what kind of person they would be like. Shou was really innocent and naïve beyond belief. He even thought that Manjyome was NICE! What if this person that Shou was waiting for was actually cruel and was using Shou? Shou would have no idea! At this point, because Shou's story was so far from descriptive, he wasn't sure if he should feel worried about taking Shou away from the woods, or relieved.
"Do you know anything about the person you were waiting for, Shou?" Manjyome asked. "Do you know who they are? Do you remember anything about them?" Shou shook his head and looked down, "No…I don't… I know it probably sounds strange to you, but I'm not even sure if I met them before! I just knew that I couldn't wait until they came. I knew I was waiting for them. But…" He looked back up at Manjyome, that sweet smile back on his face. "I k-knew that when you came and met me, I felt really happy. A-almost relieved. I know it seemed like I was going to run away at first, but that was just because I was confused as to what I was feeling. I wasn't sure if you were someone I should be around or not…I was shy and scared. B-but, I really was actually happy to see you…" Just then Shou's smile faded and he started to blush again, quickly looking away from him. "Ah! I'm so sorry!! I'm probably confusing you…I'm really sorry…"
Manjyome couldn't even begin to understand this kid, even WITH the answers he was getting. Each of Shou's answers just lead to more questions, and more confusion. Now he didn't understand why Shou would feel happy when he saw him. Why would anyone be happy to see Manjyome, especially someone who never even met him before in his life? "Well, you ARE confusing me, but you have no reason to apologize. You're trying your best." Shou looked up when Manjyome spoke and though he was still blushing he slowly nodded.
Suddenly, there was a thought that crossed Manjyome's mind. Though he was really starting to like Shou, and he really did feel comfortable with him, he was sure that he couldn't let Shou STAY with him. Shou had to have a home, even though the boy probably wouldn't know where it was at that time, and there was still the factor, of who that person Shou was actually waiting for in the woods. Sure, the crazy thought of letting Shou live with him, was sitting in the back of his mind, but how could that be possible? They barely knew each other, and it just didn't seem right to have a complete stranger live in his house. With how helpless Shou was he was tempted to, but the distance in his personality was forcing him to decide that the idea was wrong.
"Shou…I told you that you could spend the night here because you had nowhere else to go." Shou nodded, "Y-yeah…thank you for that…is it still okay?" Slowly Manjyome nodded as well, "its fine, but I have to ask. When…when the night's over, where will you go? I don't feel safe bringing you back to the woods, but I don't think it's a good idea to leave you anywhere in the city, either, with how helpless and naïve you are. Where am I supposed to take you?" Shou sat there in thought, clueless as well as to where Manjyome should bring him. "I don't know…" He replied, "Are you worried about me, Manjyome-san?" Manjyome half-glared, not at Shou but mostly at himself, and looked away from him. "I never said that!! I just…I don't know…" He was now glaring down at the floor, as if it could give him some kind of a better answer than what he was about to say. "I never worry about anyone…I never even CARE about anyone because I know what'll happen to me if I do. And yet, here you are, a complete stranger who knows nothing about anything, and I'm all worried about your well-being. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me."
As Shou listened to Manjyome's words he started to smile again. "I think that's really nice of you." He said sweetly, "There's nothing wrong with you, Manjyome-san." Manjyome looked back at him, glaring slightly. "What do you mean there's nothing wrong with me? Did you hear what I just said?! I'm worried about someone!! I'm worried about YOU, and I don't even know you!" Shou's smile faded at Manjyome's glare, but he didn't look away from him and didn't even look scared or nervous. "But you do know me!! We're not strangers…you know that I am Shou, and I know that you are Manjyome." Manjyome sighed, annoyed. "That's not what I mean! Ugh, why the hell are you so fucking naïve…" Shou frowned for a moment, but then shook his head. "I-I'm sorry…I'm just trying to say that it's not too weird to worry about someone you haven't known for all too long. I know you probably think that I'm weird, but I really care about you." With this, Manjyome raised an eyebrow and almost looked amused. "Really. You care about me?" He smirked sarcastically, "Okay, lettme hear it, Shou. Why do you care about me?" His voice was a mocking tone, and it almost nerved Shou again. But the smaller boy just clenched his fists, and continued to look up at Manjyome, though he barely looked brave.
"I could tell that you have a lot of sadness…and loneliness…right here." His small hand reached up, and touched the front of Manjyome's shirt, right over his heart. He kept his hand there, though he was making no pressure, and the touch was so light that it barely felt like his hand was there at all. Manjyome's initial instinct would be to push Shou's hand away, glare, yell at him and shout all sorts of curses, but instead he just stared at the smaller boy's hand, unable to do anything at all. "I don't know why you're sad," Shou continued, "But I could feel it. And it makes me sad too. I wish that I could make you happy. You smiled before…and I really liked it. I thought I did something right…" Manjyome's eyes were glistening slightly. So Shou's eyes lighting up earlier, really wasn't just Manjyome going crazy and imagining things.
He didn't know why he was taking Shou's words so seriously. He didn't know why he really believed each and every thing the bluenette was saying when normally he'd second-guess EVERYONE'S statements. "You're crazy, you know that?" Manjyome suddenly said. "You don't know me at all, you only know my name, how do you even know for sure that I'm not going to hurt you!? I could've brought you here to rape you and murder you, and here you are saying that you want to make me happy!?" Shou just looked up at him, "Well I do." He said simply. "I may not know you as well as you think I should, but I don't think you'll hurt me." Manjyome began to glare again, "And how do you know that?" Shou smiled, though faintly. "Just a feeling." "What if you're wrong? What if I hurt you right now, while you least expect it? You wouldn't even be able to stop me…you realize that, right?" Shou slowly took his hand off of Manjyome's chest. Manjyome, in truth, hadn't even remembered that it was still there. "T-then, I guess I'd get hurt. I hope you don't do that, but I really feel like you won't. I think I'll be okay." Manjyome had no idea why, but hearing Shou say these words was tearing his heart apart. How could one person be so trusting and sweet? How could one person believe in a stranger when the whole world was always so cold and distrusting? Manjyome truly believed that it was human nature to hurt others, even if you didn't want to. Though Manjyome was never the kind to use others, he wouldn't be surprised if that ability was deep inside of him. How could Shou be so trusting? How could Shou believe in him so much? It hurt. It made Manjyome wish that he had never brought the boy here, even though he was enjoying his company. It made Manjyome WANT to hurt him so Shou wouldn't be so naïve anymore, even though he wanted to try even harder to keep him safe. All of his feelings were mixed up and Manjyome didn't know what he wanted or what he wanted to do.
All he knew right now was that his eyes were stinging. All he knew right know was that a tear had just rolled down his cheek. He was feeling pathetic, and everything he was doing wasn't anything like himself. "How…how can you be so sure…" He was trying his hardest to keep himself collected, and keep his voice from shaking. "Even right now…I could…I could do something bad and completely destroy you…i-it's possible…w-we're all the same…we all hurt…" Shou looked up at Manjyome, his eyes looking as though he had just been completely heartbroken. The expression alone was enough to choke up Manjyome even more, as he winced. "No…please, don't look at me like that…Shou…" Shou brought his hands to the front of Manjyome's shirt, and slowly they became two little fists as he grasp onto the fabric. "B-but…you're crying…-" Manjyome glared at Shou, "No! I'm not crying!! Shut up!! Just come here!!" Suddenly, Manjyome grabbed onto Shou's back and pushed him forward against his chest. He was hugging him tightly and soon it was almost like he was clinging to him for dear life.
Shou's hands were still clinging to the front of Manjyome's shirt, and by the tense feeling of his body, Manjyome could tell that the hug shocked him. But he didn't even care at this point, and he didn't dare to let go. He felt like if he did, Shou would disappear and he'd be alone again. He didn't know what difference it made, since he wasn't even trying to let Shou into his life, but he didn't want to see him gone. He hated just thinking about it. Slowly, Shou's body relaxed against Manjyome's and his head rested on Manjyome's chest, beside his hands. "Manjyome-san," He whispered, and Manjyome didn't see a reason to reply. Manjyome's eyes closed tightly and he felt more tears stinging his eyes from behind his eyelids. But he didn't dare to open his eyes to let the tears fall. He didn't want to see if Shou was still in his arms anymore, he just wanted to have the feeling.
"I don't know who you are-" Manjyome said, his voice obviously shaking but he didn't even give a fuck anymore. "But you have no idea what you're doing to me. The things you're saying…the way you say you care about me…I fucking hate it!! B-but at the same time…no one's ever said…no one's ever said any of those things to me!! You act like you've known me for years even though you've only known me for a few hours. You're treating me better than the people who HAVE known me for years. And why, Shou!? Because you want to see me, happy!? Because you want to see a complete stranger and nobody like me, smile?!" Shou heard the hysteria in Manjyome's voice, and to try and offer some comfort he pushed his body even closer to the taller teen's, freeing any space that was between them. "You're not a stranger to me!" Shou pleaded, "You're Manjyome! That's all I need to know! I don't want to see you sad anymore!! I want to make you smile, even for just a few seconds. I don't know why I want it, okay? I just really and desperately do!! But now you're crying…you're crying…"
This was by far the most ridiculous thing Manjyome had ever been through. Desperately clinging to Shou as if he was some kind of lifeline, breathing into his hair, trying his hardest not to sob but doing so anyway. All of his pride was gone. All of the walls he used were crashing down around him, crumbling at his feet, and the worst part of it all was that he didn't even care. He wasn't afraid of acting this way to Shou. He wasn't scared of showing these kinds of emotions and feelings to the smaller bluenette. Right now it didn't matter that he had only met Shou in the woods a few hours before. It didn't matter that he was trying to close himself off to the world and just now he had opened a million doors to the little bluenette. It didn't matter that he had no clue what to do with Shou come the morning, and had no idea where to take him. All that mattered was how perfectly Shou was fitting in his arms, and how good it felt to hold him like this and release all of his pent-up emotion.
They stayed like this for a long, long time. Shou didn't say a word, but continued staying as close as possible, which was something that Manjyome desperately needed. When they finally pulled away, it was only barely so that Manjyome could look at him, and Shou's hands were still clinging at Manjyome's shirt. "I don't understand…I don't understand any of this." Manjyome said. His face was still slightly wet from tears, but he wasn't crying anymore. "I don't get why I'm so drawn to you, or why I'm acting this way around you. I shouldn't…this is…" Shou smiled, supportively this time, but his eyes still looked slightly guilty as well as hurt over Manjyome's fears and sadness. "It's not wrong." He said, "Just trust me…please. That's what I'm here for." Manjyome didn't reply, but instead cupped Shou's face in his hands, feeling the boy's smooth skin. He allowed his thumbs to trace all of the features on Shou's face, as if he was mapping him, trying to memorize everything in case he never saw him again. "But if I do…what if I lose you? What if this is the end? What if tomorrow, when I take you back to god knows where, I never see you again?" His hands were still mapping and tracing and his voice was small, quiet, and meek. It was as though the tables were now turned and Manjyome was the helpless one and Shou was the one with all of the power. And in a way, for a brief moment, Manjyome was okay with letting that happen. Only because it was Shou. Only because he was feeling as though he owed everything to him right now and that he needed him to survive.
Shou whispered back, "You'll see me again. I promise. Even if I have to leave, I promise you we'll meet again. I don't know how I could make you believe me…but we will. When the time is right, we will." Manjyome was hanging onto every single word, every single sentence, and strongly believing every one of them even though he didn't want to. "I'll trust you…" He said, as he leaned in, his forehead resting against the bluenette's. "But only you…no one else…I can't believe anyone else but you…" Shou's eyes were glistening now and he was blushing hard at the closeness, but he looked much happier, relieved. "Thank you…I'm so happy…I…did it…" His last three words were lost as Manjyome leaned in, filling in the empty air between their faces with a kiss. It was soft and gentle at first, as if to test Shou's reaction, and when he felt the boy shyly kiss back, the kissed changed. It became hungry and needy, desperate and wanting, as if this was all Manjyome had been looking for his whole life and he finally found it. Shou's arms were wrapping around Manjyome's neck, Manjyome's arms were around Shou's waist, and every single thing about this moment felt right and perfect and Manjyome didn't want any of it to end or go away.
The kiss only broke for a few second intervals at a time, and only because of the need for air. The desire for closeness was taking over both of the boys and they kissed and kissed, each one of Manjyome's kisses seeming more desperate than the next, and each one of Shou's seeming more sweet and loving than the next. It wasn't long before Shou was back against the pillow and Manjyome was over him, tongue exploring the sweetness of Shou's mouth, hands mapping, tracing, and memorizing Shou's small body before their hands were brought together and their fingers were intertwined.
Manjyome's lips tried kissing every part of Shou's body that he was in reach of. Lips, cheeks, head, forehead, neck, ears, hands, shoulders… Shou was panting underneath him from their kissing and from the physical feelings that were natural to a boy getting this much attention to their body. Occasionally when Manjyome's lips found a more sensitive spot, he would see Shou's small hand reach for the sheets beneath him and grab onto them.
Everything about this boy was angelic and pure. Everything about him was sweet and delicious. Manjyome was more than just drawn to him. Manjyome wanted everything about him. He didn't want the night to end; he didn't want to have to see Shou go. Even tomorrow he was sure to find a way to keep Shou with him. Shou didn't HAVE to leave. It wasn't very conventional, but it was possible. Hell, nothing Manjyome was doing made sense anymore, so having Shou live with him for at least a few more days would be the MOST normal, if anything.
"Don't leave me…" Manjyome found himself desperately whispering between touches, kisses, and movements. "I-I'll always be here…" Was the small and breathy reply.
**
Dawn arrived quicker than Manjyome had ever expected in his life. The blinds were still opened from the night before, and the sunlight was burning Manjyome's eyelids, forcing them to open. Manjyome reached out in front of him to stretch, yawning and wondering what time it exactly was. He heard birds chirping, cars driving by. Everything was normal and ordinary. Time didn't stop and nothing changed. Life was going on as planned. It was an average morning.
Memories of Shou quickly flooded Manjyome's head. Almost out of reflex, he felt his hands feeling all over the bed where he was sure Shou was nestled against him the night before. But there was nothing but empty space. An empty bed, with only one person in it. Manjyome shot up, and his eyes darted all over the room. Shou was nowhere to be found. In fact, a lot of things didn't make sense. His clothes that he was wearing when he went into the woods weren't on the floor where he was sure they were left. He was asleep in his boxers, but they weren't the ones he remembered seeing on himself last night. The bed beside him was made, and the pillow looked untouched as if no one was laying there. Now that Manjyome noticed, his legs weren't hurting as though he walked several miles which he was SURE he had. In fact, everything seemed too ordinary. There were no traces that Manjyome was in the woods all day yesterday at all.
"No…it can't be…I was wandering around the woods all day yesterday!! And that's where I met Shou…Shou…I'm sure I met him…we touched, we kissed…I remember all of it! So why…?" He still remembered how soft Shou's lips were against his own. How perfectly his hands felt when those small fingers were intertwined with Manjyome's. He even remembered the warmth he felt when he held Shou close and Shou's body pressed against his. So why? Where was Shou? Where were the traces of yesterday? He glanced over at his digital clock that doubled as a calendar. It read "7:50 A.M – Thurs." Thursday. The same day he was sure he was wandering in the woods. The Thursday he knew had never happened. But why did it feel so real? Why did everything that happened feel so intense?
"A dream… a fucking dream…" Manjyome cupped his own face in his hands and almost wanted to weep, but didn't. He glared behind his palms, and bit his lip so hard that he felt like it was going to bleed. Shou…perfect and angelic Shou…he wasn't even real. It was all good to be true. The trust, the kisses, the confessions… He should've known. None of those things could actually happen to him. Rubbing his eyes hard, he climbed out of bed. That dream was just too strange to not be real. Everything…it just had to have happened. One way or another, Shou NEEDED to be real. This couldn't be something his crazy mind had just thought up. He started to walk around his house. Everything was perfectly in place, the way he had left it. The dishes from the dinner he was sure he had with Shou weren't on the counter to dry where he left them. There were no dishes at all. Each of the chairs was slightly pulled out. None of them were perfectly pushed in, the way Shou had done. There was no broken glass in the garbage after Shou had dropped both a plate and a glass.
All of the blinds in the house, except for his own room, were closed. The light in the living room that he had first turned on for Shou when they walked in was no longer on. Everything was dark, and lonely, and dismal. Like it always had been before Shou's light had graced him if only for a few moments. Manjyome's fists clenched. "Shou…Shou…" He wasn't real. He didn't exist. Manjyome could never have him. And there was nothing he could do to change that.
Manjyome practically staggered into his room. Half wanting to cry, half wanting to scream and kill the person who thought of playing this cruel, sick, trick on him. He tried to remember what really DID happen. Maybe something triggered this dream, maybe he was hung-over or high and that's why his mind was creating angelic bluenettes to hold and trust. He was at such a loss right now that any possibility was likely. He even thought of maybe forcing himself back to sleep, and maybe he'd see Shou again. Maybe he could figure out why he only existed in his dreams. Why he couldn't be real, and why the time he spent with him FELT so real. But before even making it to his bed he was stopped dead in his tracks.
There, lying on the foot of the bed was a single yellow flower.
-END-
A/N: This story took A LOT longer to write than I had planned even though I originally planned for it to be long like this. I'm actually really happy with the result because it's EXACTLY how I imagined it in my head! :3 I didn't get side-tracked and change the plot in the middle of it. xD This story also took a lot longer to upload than I wanted it to, because there was this HORRIBLE glitch that bolded my whole story and took away all of my paragraph breaks. D: So I had to go back and redo every single break even though it had already taken me a hour to proofread in the first place. ;-; I hope that you guys liked this too!! It's a weird story, but sweet~~ Please, please, pleeeease review!!