5 things that were named after James T. Kirk – and the one that actually wasn't

Disclaimer: Don't own Star Trek. Wish I did.

Author's Note: Written for a prompt on the LJ st_xi_kink_meme. Rated T for four-letter word, adult themes. (Hope that's high enough)

ONE: Crazy Jim – a cocktail

He concocted that to win a bet.

It's 1 part Saurian brandy, 1 part Cointreau, 4 parts Romulan Ale. And a strawberry.

They still serve it in the bars around Iowa Space yard.

It's not for the faint of heart (or stomach).

TWO: Kirk's Syndrome – an STD

Three days after he had been with that nice Triexian girl from his computer science course, Jim developed green spots on the bridge of his nose. They were actually a nice shade of green, and those on his cock even looked cool (or so Jim thought).

In fact, Kirk's Syndrome is more of an allergy (Triexian and human bodily fluids don't mix well, it seems) and you have to sit through many extremely tedious tests, but after that, it takes only three hypos to cure it.

Because his was the first known case – in his paper the doctor pointed out that "sexual intercourse between humans and Triexians requires an extremely uncommon amount of agility" – the disease was named after him. He still has a copy of that paper.

Thank God Orions proved to be immune to Kirk's Syndrome.

THREE: Horribilosaurus kirki – a predator native to Delta Vega

After he'd been debriefed about what had happened on Delta Vega (he had left out Old Spock, of course), it turned out that he had been the first to see that huge tentacled monster that had chased him into Spock's cave (or at least the first left to tell about it).

So, some xenozoologists came to him and asked a lot of questions. Later, they sent him a message that said they had found more of these beasts on that damned ice planet and would name the species after him, because he had discovered it.

Personally, Jim thought that monster had discovered HIM, but who was he to argue with Science?

FOUR: The James T. Kirk Award for Unconventional Thinking

After all that fuss the Academy brass had made about his solution to the Kobayashi Maru test, they ended up naming a prize for cadets after him.

Granted, it might have had something to do with him and the others on the Enterprise saving Earth, but Jim was still baffled.

FIVE: T'Brius – the first child born on New Vulcan

The girl's parents had been among the few who managed to escape Vulcan by spacecraft. They chose the Vulcan version of his middle name, because his first name didn't fit well into Vulcan language and his last name, when given to a girl, would mean something highly illogical (and a bit naughty) – or was it the other way around?

Anyway, when Ambassador Sarek told him, Jim wasn't sure he deserved such an honor. So he doesn't tell anybody.

But whenever he's on shore leave he makes sure to buy some educational holos for children (about plants, animals and such) and sends them to his goddaughter.

AND: Kirk Park in Riverside, Iowa

Everybody thinks it's named after Jim now, but that's not true.

The park is small, very nice, but nothing special: it has trees, flower beds and benches, a fountain, a playground and a simple memorial stone at its centre.

Whenever he can, Jim reminds people of the real name of the park:

GEORGE KIRK MEMORIAL PARK.