Dear Esme,

I am not sure why I am writing this letter but I guess it's because I hope that what I thought you felt for me when we were together was real. I wanted you to know what I felt for not only you but the entire Cullen family was real I did love you all. When I fell in love with Edward I was so lucky because I not only got his love but I got a family's love as well. I had never had that before, I love Charlie and Renee but I never got to be the child, I was always the one who supported and took care of everything. With you I got more than I ever thought I could have, I had two brothers willing to protect and love me. Jasper I know found it hard to be around me but when I needed him he was there protecting me. I got a sister and a best friend rolled up into one little bright pixie package and I even got Rosealie though she hated me she must have felt something or she would not have agreed to help when James came after me. Most of all though and the thing I am perhaps most grateful for is that I got to experience having proper parents. You did not expect me to take care of everything all you asked of me was to be myself and to let you take care of me. You will never be able to comprehend how much that meant.

Bu t then you were gone. I tried so hard to work out why you had left me. I thought that you loved me and would protect me from the monsters that you had worked so hard not to be like. At first I denied it possible that you would leave and tried to persuade myself that you would be back. Then came the questions how and why had you left me, was I not good enough? Had you like Edward not loved me? Was I mealy a distraction like those that Edward has now gone to chase? Then came the pain. I was left with nothing but searing pain and nightmares that had me watching you, the one I loved as a mother turning away from me while telling me you did not love me. Even the possibility of that being true made the pain caused by Edward life ending. I was broken. I no longer ate or slept and just spent my days wishing that I could become numb to the pain that had broken me.

You may be asking why I have now chosen to send this letter. Edward once told me that Carlisle had a theory that traits that were held in one's human life where transferred through to one's vampire life. I guess that I might have been more like Alice if I had become like you because some weeks ago I began to have visions. At first I thought perhaps they were just waking nightmares but they began to happen more and more often and they felt different to my nightmares they felt final somehow. In these visions I can see that Laurant is coming because Victoria has sent him. I see him standing over me, then I feel physical pain so different from the emotional pain I have been living with then there is nothing. I cannot help but feel some relief at this you could say at least I know it will be over soon.

I don't mean this letter to cause you pain. I think I know now though why I am writing it. I am saying goodbye and I guess I wanted you to know how I feel. I am not scared anymore not like when I knew James was after me. I cannot fight my fate knowing that this action I am taking will protect you and Charlie, both my families. Please know and tell the others I love you but it is now me turn to be the one who is protecting the rest of you. I am not sure when he will be here but I know it is soon and I know that once I am gone no further harm will come to you or to Charlie. So this is my final goodbye. I found your address on the internet so I hope you do mind that I am sending this to you Edward was keen for a clean break but I find that you are too important to me for that, I cannot tell Charlie but he knows I love him and I pray that you know that I love you so much to.

I love you mum, goodbye

Bella

What do you think. Should I leave it as a one shot or should I go on?