Well, I hoped for my friend's help on this, but she won't answer her phone...so...yeah.

This is my Anti-Hardwicke Day Oneshot, hope you like it. I'm just gonna wing it.

Here is what would happen is Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart assumed the roles as Max and Fang in the Maximum Ride movie.

Angel's POV (At the Flock's hideout)

Max and Fang have been acting...differently. To say the least. I don't know what's gotten into them. Fang's hair mysteriously turned blonde, and he looks like he's in his twenties now. He keeps thinking things like, I liked my Cedric role better, all I had to do is die. I think they got some drugs out on the street.

And Max's hair turned dark brown and the blonde streaks vanished. She looks older, too. When she talks she's all stuttery, she even stutters in her thoughts.

D-Do I get to kiss Rob in this role? Max thought during breakfast. I shot her a confused look and she furrowed her brows at me. I just shook my head and went back to my eggs. Luckily the rest of the flock was normal.

"Hey, Max, are you going to finish your bacon?" Gasman asked her. She looked over at him, confused for a minute, then nodded.

"Uh, y-yeah, sure Greasy." She said in a low, manish voice that was better suited on Fang.

"It's Gazzy." I corrected her.

"Right." She poked at her eggs with her fork nervously, then stood up from the table.

"Where you going...Max?" Fang asked her with a british accent. Since when did he have a british accent?

"T-to the bathroom. Got a problem with that?" Max asked, but instead of her voice being strong and defiant, like it usually was when she was in a sassy mood, it was weak and very questioning. Fang shook his head and went back to eating. I noticed he also had a bit of a five o' clock shadow. He's just fourteen...

Max walked out, and Fang soon found an excuse to follow her.

"There is something wrong with them." Gazzy stated. I nodded, along with Iggy and Nudge.

"I mean, since when does Max stutter? Or second guess herself? And why was her voice so weak. And what happened to her hair, she looks four years older than she is. And Fang...he looks like he's in his twenties and what's with that accent? And what happened to his hair, it used be black now it's blonde. Actually, I think he looks like a different person with blonde hair. And, kind of a familiar person, I just can't put my finger on it." She stopped to take a breath, finally, and Iggy cut in.

"They don't even walk the same way. Did someone drug them?" He asked.

"I don't know," I said, "they think differently, too. Max thinks of Fang as a guy named Robert and Fang thinks of Max as a girl named Kristen. And they think of us as other people, not really us."

Just then, the door burst open and Erasers came running in. Hadn't we killed them? What was this? The four of us jumped into action, until Fang and Max came running in and told us to stay back. They attempted to fight the beasts, but failed at it miserably. They kicked they're butts, and kidnapped them as well. What was with them nowadays?

"Should we go save them?" Nudge asked us. Iggy shook his head.

"I don't like the new Max and Fang, let's just let them keep 'em." He said, and we all nodded in agreement.

Okay, so that sucked...but yeah....

So, those are all the flaws of Rob and Kristen: Too old, Rob is blonde, Kristen just no, they don't have what it takes...and so on and so forth. The flock doesn't even like them!

Iggy: Nope...they're....strange.

Me: We must stop the madness!! To take part in stopping said madness, sign St. Fang of Boredom's petition. It's on her profile. Over 1, 800 people have signed so far! And it's been mentioned on the Maximum Ride website! So, go sign it!!

Iggy: Don't let those people ruin our movie!!