Fallen Heroes

Summary: Tony had just been returned to team Gibbs after being agent afloat. But there are still issues troubling him. He thinks about them at a bar he visits. There he meets up with a stranger and they talk candidly.

Spoilers: Judgment Day 1 & 2, Torchwood: Children Of Earth

Tony sat inside the Mandalorian Bar. Loud music could barely be heard from the jazz bar upstairs. It had been a long time since he had come here. In fact, it was before he had left for LA with Jenny. Tony turned the glass around and studied the brown liquid before drinking it. "I've come along way since joining NCIS," Tony said with a sigh. That was true… He had come along way. Good and bad directions.

"You're damn right about that," Alex the barman responded. "I remember when you use to come in here order two drinks and go home with the first woman you talked to," he laughed a little.

"Yeah," Tony forced out a laugh. The Mandalorian Bar was a good bar to be on the prowl. "But I've also fallen a hell of a long way," he said before taking a large mouthful. It tasted bitter, but then again so did everything else.

Alex nodded solemnly but didn't press the situation further. He used to have to wrestle the keys away from Tony but through the years Tony had learned to leave the keys on the counter and make his own way home. At least that was one less concern. Alex looked at another customer that headed into the bar. One he had never seen before. "What can I do for you?" Alex asked the stranger.

"Large scotch on the rocks," The man replied.

Tony turned to face the newcomer. The first thing he noticed was the thick blue jacket. It stood out like a sore thumb. "Haven't seen you here before," Tony looked at the stranger as he sat down.

"Haven't been here before," the stranger unbuttoned the jacket a little, revealing a blue shirt and thin rainbow colored suspenders. "This looks like a nice place. Reminds me of a cute little bar outside of Cardiff," he didn't turn around. He sighed sadly at the mere thought of Cardiff.

"Sounds like you're having a fun time," Tony said. It was a sarcastic comment and he wasn't about to hide it.

"Finding answers in the bottom of the glass I see. I see you're having a great time of it to," the man responded. "The world's been going to hell and I've been given a first class ticket," he said with a self-hating grin.

"Amen to that," Tony said as he finished his glass. "But more than that… I have a front seat and I've been driving it some of the way," Tony ordered another glass. He planned on getting very drunk and it had become quite a ritual.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," the man responded. "I'm Cap -, Jack, just Jack," Jack extended out his hand to be shaken.

"Tony Screw-Everything-Up DiNozzo," Tony shook Jack's hand. It was good to finally put a name to the man he was talking to.

"I really hope you're not checking me out," Jack said, he had just managed to catch Tony looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Your jacket," Tony pointed to it.

"Oh this… It's a World War 2 vintage RAF coat," Jack responded. "Just something I like."

"Looks good," Tony nodded.

"Thanks," Jack quickly ordered a line of five shooters. "Thanks," he said to the bartender. He ran his fingers through his spiky black hair before downing two of them.

"Looks like you're on a mission," Tony said as he slowly drank from his glass.

"Call it a ritual if you will. At least once a week, I like to drink myself to death, wake up and start this whole world anew," Jack responded. "Looks like you do this ritualistically as well," he looked at the young man beside him.

"Yep," Tony responded coldly. The effect of the alcohol was already affecting his thinking. He had gotten people killed, driven people away and was now on not so solid ground. His team had welcomed him back but ever since then he had felt like a stranger with his old team. It wasn't even clear if they really wanted him.

Jack thought for a moment. "Thought so. When you said you were driving some of the way. I think I must've been driving the rest of the way," he said bitterly. Normally, Jack wasn't so bitter but the last adventure had showed him his flaws. "Karma's bitten me on the bum before laughing in my face," he added.

"I'll drink to that," Tony took another full glass and waited. Jack had finished his line of shooters and was now waiting. "You know what's funny… I work for NCIS," Tony began to say.

"NCIS? I remember dealing with ONI," Jack smiled at the memory.

Tony ignored the comment. "We're supposed to solve crimes and protect people," Tony sighed. Usually Abby was the only one he got drunk with. She usually was the only one he opened his mouth to. But even over the year, since he had kept the whole thing with Jeanne secret, Abby had been distant. Tony couldn't blame her though. "But I'm sure I hurt more people than I help," Tony responded.

"Ha, you maybe right. I mean, we seem to do that to people don't we?" Jack said coldly. "But the more we help, the more people get hurt."

"Who do you work for?" Tony asked.

"Work for? I ran an organization called Torchwood. But it got shut down," Jack said. "The people I worked with were more than co-workers, they were family. I lost my love recently, my family hates me and I wonder around the world doing nothing," he shrugged his shoulders and drunk a couple of more shooters.

"Never heard of Torchwood," Tony shrugged his shoulders sluggishly. "I'll have what he's having," Tony said. The bartender shrugged and lined up some shooters. "They say that it's better to have loved and lost…" Tony snorted at the mere thought of it.

"Those that say it have never tried it," Jack said with a laugh of his own. "Ianto was a great man. He died following my lead," he said. Jack looked over at Tony who was trying to down the shooters he was having. "Steady on kid… As I say, tonight… I'm drinking myself to death," Jack responded.

"Well… Jeanne wasn't killed but I did manage to throw it all away. Now, I've resigned to the fact that my team is the only family I'll have," Tony responded. It was a depressing thought to have but it was damn true. He should've come to that conclusion long ago.

"Well, I don't have a family now. I also don't have a team," Jack shrugged his shoulders. "But I brought it on myself. There are sacrifices I had made that were for the greater good but on the other end its cold-blooded murder," he said as he took his coat off and placed it on the back of the chair. Children were innocent and the old man was right about him except for one thing. Jack knew what it was like to die.

"I was supposed to protect this woman… Instead we, Instead I followed the order to abandon the detail and gallivant around LA. Just a few hours later she was dead. Murdered in a hail of bullets," Tony sniffled a bit. He held back on showing any emotional reaction to it. "And you know what? That's not… Who the hell wears suspenders like that these days?" Tony's mind drifted off track. "That's not all! This old girlfriend was killed because I complained about doing weekend duty. Basically I wonder if this world is better off without me," Tony said in a depressing tone. "So, what about you? Confession time. Spill your guts," he added.

"Along time ago, I took these kids and fed them to a monster. I was lied to, we were all lied to and I was the one who took the kids to hell. Then I had to sacrifice a child of my own. I'm an outcast… I deserve it. I bet right now, Ianto Jones is looking at me and shaking his head," Jack almost fell off the chair when he turned around.

"I'm sure there's someone out there who'll miss you," Tony said.

Jack saw something in the green eyes. Like him, Tony seemed like a lost soul. "Out of the billions of people in the world, I'm sure there's only one," Jack answered. Gwen Cooper would miss him. But she was better without him. Everyone was.

Tony studied at the glass. His body was telling him that he had enough. "I'm sure there are more," he said as he tapped Jack on the shoulder. "But don't you really wish you can just take a vacation somewhere… Get away from it all," but Tony knew that was impossible. You could never escape yourself.

"Unfortunately, I'm trapped here," Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"In America?" Tony raised his eyebrows in response.

"Yeah," Jack laughed loudly. "I'm stuck in America," he said with a sarcastic tone.

Tony didn't say much further, instead he stood up. He almost fell backwards as he did so but a strong arm steadied him. "I think you've had enough," Jack laughed as he finished off his drinks. Jack didn't want to be responsible for someone dying because of him again. "I'll take you outside," he said with a grin. Jack wasn't sure why he was grinning.

"Don't forget your vintage thingy coat," Tony turned around and pointed to it.

"Oh right," It was the coat that was given to him by Ianto. Actually it was the last thing he had given him. Jack put it on and almost stumbled through the exit with Tony.

"That has sentimental value?" Tony asked as soon as he was able to stand upright. He swayed on the spot. "I never seen someone get their coat so quick," he had observed the action. Even as drunk as he felt, he didn't miss out on much.

"Ianto gave it to me," Jack said. His other one had been destroyed when he was blown up in Torchwood. "It – He means a lot to me," Jack said.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Tony said. He meant it. They stood just looking in each other's eyes.

"We're a couple of fallen heroes aren't we?" Jack asked.

Tony shook his head slowly. "I'm no hero Jack. Do you think you are?" Tony asked.

"Not anymore," Jack rested his hands on Tony's shoulders as they spoke. Tony didn't act like he minded. His hands caressed Tony's neck. "Believe it or not Tony… You are heroic and you will be again," Jack could smell the different alcoholic aromas coming from Tony's breathing.

"You act as you already know," Tony sighed. All Tony could smell was a barrage of nauseating and intoxicating smell. It was almost being drunk on fumes.

"Believe me," Jack leaned forward and their lips were only inches away.

"Whoa!" Tony pulled away quickly. "I'm sorry buddy," he realized what was going on. He knew he was drunk, but he wasn't that drunk. "I don't swing that way," he told him.

Jack seemed surprised by his own actions. "Sorry," Jack responded. That was all he could say.

"Hey don't worry. I know that the loss of a loved one can thrust you into the arms of someone else," Tony said sagely. "Its nice meeting you Jack… But I think it's time I be off," he responded. They bid there farewells and parted ways.

Jack stood at the darkest bit of the bridge. He had followed Tony home to make sure the young man was alright. Tony stumbled into his apartment complex drunkenly but he had gone home. Jack looked around, he was in the darkest part of the bridge. Even people walking just overhead didn't hear him. The night's plan of drinking himself to death hadn't panned out… So…

Jack leant forward just enough to start the descent. He felt his head hit the concrete and burst open. The blackness engulfed him before his body hit the water. Jack's body drifted in the water before coming to a stop on the bank of the river. Jack gasped as he sat up and began breathing again. Ianto had expressed his fears to him about if Jack had ever feared that his luck would run out and he wouldn't come back to life. Even though Jack knew that wouldn't happen, he found him self wishing that the luck would run out.

Tony sat in his apartment and looked through the photo album. Every drinking night ended like this. He looked at the pictures of Jeanne, Jenny, Kate, Paula, Pacci. These were the people he felt responsible for hurting or even getting killed. Each time he asked him self why he was still alive and everyone else was dying around him.

"Why?" Tony asked as he looked at the sig sitting on the table. So many times he had contemplated swallowing the barrel and pulling the trigger. Each time it was becoming harder to talk him self out of it… That night, the only viable reason for not pulling the trigger was that there was someone out there who seemed to have fallen further than he had.