A/N: I am very terrible at updating lol but anyway, a new story. It is almost 6am and I've been terribly bored! I needed something to do, was talking to Rosalie (Shaqueen), my texting buddy lol, and annoyed her forever! I am very sorry! I said I was bored, she told me to write SQUEE! Well I didn't agree with any of the ideas and after thinking about forever I just started writing, I hope this isn't as terrible as I believe it is.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Sue me and you'll sleep with the fische.

For Rosalie lol, thanks for putting up with me!

Forever Love

Chapter One

He didn't want to make it work. Their marriage had failed a long time ago and apparently he had accepted that and she hadn't. Or did he just end it last night? Either way Addison Montgomery-Shepherd was certain that her husband had given up on them. He had showed her the previous night. At that prom. This ridiculous prom, which had been even worse than the one she was at her senior year in high school. Who'd have thought that being a geek with a lisp and too long legs to even consider wearing heels who was talking to Skippy Gold about Star Wars could be topped, ever. But Derek had trumped all this by screwing Meredith Grey, the skankiest person Addison had ever met (which might be because she had slept with her husband) in an exam room. It surely was a classy way to end your marriage. All that Addison could think of right now was when she had asked him, if he was done hurting her back. Now the answer seemed to be so clear, of course he hadn't been. It wasn't even done with screwing his little intern just across the hall, no Addison had to find her panties in the pocket of the tux he had worn that night. The same tux he had worn to their ten year anniversary. As far as Addison was concerned, it was supposed to be her panties and not Meredith Grey's.

Addison sighed as she got off the bed. She had done something she had never thought she would ever be capable of. She had actually taken Meredith Grey's black panties and put them up on the pin board at Seattle Grace. Even though Addison knew this was far beyond her dignity level but she couldn't wipe this grin off her face, it served the intern right. But only the intern because Addison only knew too well that there was no way she could hurt her husband just yet. She was still in love with him.

Locking herself into an on-call room wouldn't help anything. She had to face reality which seemed like a terrible night mare she just wanted to wake up from and find herself curled up in bed, wrapped into her husband's arms. Addison Shepherd felt as if she was six years old again. Making her parents check underneath her bed every night. They had to check for someone or something hiding underneath there. Only because of her older brother, Archer, who had been fourteen and made her watch a horror movie with him. She had been so scared and always checked underneath her bed, but Archer had hid underneath there after her nightly check and grabbed her, making her scream in terror.

Addison shook her head, abandoning this memory along with the one of her and her husband having breakfast in bed back in New York when they were inseparable. Those days were gone; she was no longer six years old with a fear of something or someone beneath her bed that would kill her. Well someone in her bed had already ruined her marriage. It was her fault. She knew that. But the words of her great grandma still played in her head. She had always told Addison that it takes two to Tango. Now Addison knew what she had meant. Sleeping with Mark was a reaction to so many things happening in their marriage. Of course that was by no means an excuse and she knew that just too well. Addison now knew what it felt like to be betrayed. Well of course Mark had cheated on her, but being betrayed by the one she loved so much hurt her. Looking at him felt wrong, this wasn't a moment of weakness, this was him trying to hurt her, or even worse, he was actually in love with Meredith Grey and not her. She should have said no to sleeping with Mark, she should have stopped herself from making one of the biggest mistakes of her entire life and she might still have her husband. Because only the hope of him coming home, wrapping his strong arms around her was better than knowing he was off with some other woman who was the exact opposite of her.

She should have known better then to go to Seattle. For a consult she had been telling herself. Who was she kidding? She had come to get her husband back. But she should have known better. He had never given her the chance to tell him that she takes it all back, that the past is the past, that she needed just one chance to show him how much he still mattered to her. But Derek ran. He ran away from her, from even considering giving their marriage another chance. Maybe he had been right. They weren't meant to be. Of course he had never told her that in those exact words but his actions reflected the way he felt. He had called her names, which normally would have seen very childish to Addison, but knowing she had slept with his best friend only to get his attention; their marriage had become a Kindergarten.

Addison opened the door and closed it behind her, trying to leave all those thoughts behind that door, unable to reach her ever again. This was it. She was done. The same Addison Shepherd who had never accepted anything but a victory gave up. She was defeated with a stab right in the heart. For him it had never been hard to hurt her. Derek was the one who held her heart in the palm of his hand. He was the only one who could ever love her, but also the only one who was ever able to destroy her, shatter her life into pieces that could never be picked up.

"Addison!" She heard him calling behind her, but she kept on walking, she simply couldn't deal with him telling her that he had chosen Meredith Grey over her. If he cared, she told herself, he would come after her. But of course Derek didn't care about her anymore, after all his eyes were fixed on the intern. Addison made her way to Richard's office, without an appointment, which was the reason Patricia gave her a dirty look. But Addison ignored her complains as she walked straight into the chief's office.

"Addison?" He questioned, he could see she had been crying and could only imagine what, or better who, the reason for her puffy eyes was.

"Chief, I wanted to let you know that I'm leaving tonight." There was nothing to pack anyway, except for some clothes, but she had already done that. Neither did she have any friends at Seattle Grace, except for Miranda and Callie.

"But… Why? You have a great job offer…" Richard trailed off, knowing this didn't exactly matter to her right now.

"I just need to leave this God forsaken place." She shook her head, feeling tears form up in her eyes once again. Addison had taken the rain in Seattle for some sort of symbol. The rain washed everything, made it pure again. But she had been wrong. The rain had resembled the depressing mood at this place all along. She just hadn't wanted to see it.

"I understand." He nodded. "I'm sorry Addie… If you need to talk—"

"No, I'm fine; I just don't belong here, with him, not anymore." Addison interrupted him quickly. It was true; she didn't belong with him anymore. It was the past.

"Addison!" She heard him call behind her again; to her surprise Derek had followed her to Richard's office and had waited for her to come out again. Addison ignored him and kept on walking, what else should she do?

But something made Addison stop. "What do you want from me?!?" She questioned. She wanted to sound angry and upset but instead she found herself being exhausted and broken.

"You did that, didn't you?!?" Derek didn't need to say anything else because Addison shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head.

"Now before you ask if I regret anything, I don't. I regret trying to make my husband care, I regret sleeping with your best friend. But most of all I regret coming here, thinking you'd care." She shook her head, tears in her eyes. Derek hadn't seen her this upset ever since the night he had left New York and his unfaithful wife.

"Here, seems like you might have better use for those." She handed both her wedding and her engagement ring to him. Derek knew what she meant. It was a stab to the heart, not that he could blame her. He was too shocked to speak, staring down at the wedding bands in his palm while hearing her walk away.
He should have done something.

In the end: Shall I continue or is it just another stupid idea?

Review please!