Disclaimier: I do not own D. Gray-Man. D. Gray-Man and it characters belong to Kastura-sensei cause she's just that awesome.

WARNING: Contains yaoi(relationships between to men) Don't like don't read.

Genre: Romance, Angst, humor, Tagedy

This is unbetaed. Sorry, I wanted to uplaod this before I leave.

ENJOY!

I never thought that falling in love with another person could be so hard and such a painful yet confusing thing.

I did however realize that threw all the pain and confustion how wondeful the tender feeling of love could have.

The day that Allen came up to me and confessed rose confusting questions in both my mind and my heart. Was he really serious about this or was it just a joke to him? Did he really understand just how much I really love him and that if this were a joke how bad it would feel?

Despite all the confusing thoughts and feelings I said yes. I've loved him far to long not to have hope. If this was a joke or a lie I could live with it. I was a bookman going against the laws anyway. He looked shocked that I had felt the same. I gave him a reasuring smile, a smile that would let him know I was just as serious as him.

That is, if he was serious.

After a few months I realized that he was in fact just as serious as me. It was no joke. This made me that much happier.

I never thought that having these feeling returned would be so wonderful. I always thought that love was an illusion. A feeling that the lonely and weak made up to get ride of their pain or a least ease it until it became bearable. But the feeling that people call love is very real and the best thing to ever happen to anyone. The feeling that my heart would get when I would hold him in my arms was real.

It was heaven.

And yet..

These feelings are things a bookman should not be able to feel. A Bookman has no need for a heart.

I knew this and yet I couldn't stop loving him. I ingored the laws of the Bookman and the world.

Sometimes, I wish I hadn't

/// Rain ///

All was quite in the Black order as Allen and I sat together in the library. The only sound that could be heared was the rain falling sofly against the windows of the library and mine and Allen's breathing.

I looked up from the thick book the old panda had told me to read and memorize and looked at Allen for what seemed like the milltionth time today. I didn't care as long as I got to see his face.

He was sitting atop of the desk that I was sitting at, gazing out of the window out into the rain. He was in he's own little world a smile on his face. Even with the smile he seemed to be in pain. I wanted to hold him in my arms and take thhe pain away and if couldn't do that I'd make it my own and suffer with him. That way he wouldn't be by himself in world with so much pain.

He let out a sigh and brought his arms behind him and set then on the the desk. Letting his head fall back he closed his eyes. He was just to beautiful. I smiled and placed my hand over his right(he didn't like me touching his left. I told him that I didn't mind it, it was a part of him and I accepted it no matter what. He still wouldn't let me)and starting playing with his fingers.

After setting the thick book aside, I let out a small sigh and placed my head against his firm Lend back against my head, another sigh escaping him. I turned my turned my head and stuffed my nose in his shirt, inhaling his scent.

He smelted like vanilla.

I loved it.

He let out a small laugh as I opened my month and pretended to eat him. I let a smile make it's way across my lips as I brought my arms around him, embracing him from behind. It seemed like forever that we stayed like that. Him in my arms, him leaning against me. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay like this forever. Just him and me.

Forever.

"Hey Lavi," Allen's soft voice whispered. I removed my head from his back and rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Nh?"

"Nothing nevermind." I looked up at his face and found the warm color of red making a home on his pale face. What was he blushing about, I wonder? I smirked as an idea came to me and tightened by arms around him. He turned his head to the side a little to look at me.

"What are you smiling about?" The smirk on my face grew as he rasied his white eye brow in confution.

"Nothing, Just trying to figure out a way to get you to tell me what you were going to say. I think I just figured out a way." Allen's face was classic. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"W-hat are you planning?" Allen stuttered, trying to remove himself from my grip, but his attempts were quite unsuccessful. I wasn't plaining on letting him go anytime soon.

"Lavi, would be so kind as to letting me go, please."

"Nope. Your staying here until you tell me what you were going to say or I fall alseep, which isn't highly likely. I like holding you anyway. So yeah your not going anywhere."

"Stuipd Rabbit." Allen sighed and lend back against me and closed his eyes. I closed my eye as well. "Sometimes," he paused for a moment and I opened my eye to look at him again. He was still blushing.

"I wonder why I fell in love with you."

I completely froze, my heart skipped abeat in my chest. Did he really just say that? Am I dreaming? He had never said that before. When he had confessed all he say was that he liked me more that a friend, he never said that he loved me. To hear this from him now made me so happy I could cry.

"Huh? Wait, Lavi, don't cry. I just told you that I loved you. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." He turned around in my arms and wrapped his own arms around me, letting me cry against his chest. I felt safe there, like all the things that I was doing, all the things that went against the laws off Bookman, weren't all that wrong anymore.

I felt whole.

"I'm not crying because you upset me. I'm crying because I'm happy. I've loved you all this time, I've never like liked you. I loved you. So hearing you say that make me happy not sad. So there's no need to say that your sorry, alright?" I said, sobbing against him. We stayed like that for a while before I pulled away from him and wiped the tears away from my eye.

Allen smiled at me. "You alright now?" I crawled over to sit on the edge of the desk, Allen followed suit sitting next to me and placing his head on my shoulder, his snow white hair tickling my cheek a little.

"Yes, I'm fine." I said softly, putting my arm around him, pulling his body closer to mine. "I love you. I'm glad I can finally say that."

"I love you too. You could have said it before now you know."

I smiled, "I know I could have but I didn't want to scare you away."

Allen sighed. "You wouldn't have scared me off. What do you take me for, someone that's scared of commitment?"

"I know, It was just a little fear of mine. I don't think your scared of commitment, Allen. Your the most committed person I know." I said looking down at him. He was on my left side so it made it easier to see him. He was looking out the window again. Out into the rain.

"Hey Allen?" His eyes moved from the window to looked at me. There was a smile that I didn't notice set on his pale face. That smile was just to cute.

"Yes?"

"Why do you like the rain so much? And if I'm mistaken and you don't like it, then why do you keep staring out in to it?" Allen's smiled diappeared and he looked away from my face. I tilted my head to the side.

Did I say something wrong?

"Your right, I like the rain. For more than one reason." He paused here and looked up at me before he began again. "When I was little and it would rain Mana would let me play in it and he would play with me. Altought we both got sick after that, but it's still a good memory to me." I pulled Allen closer to me as he talked more about his memory of Mana. I knew it was a hard thing for him to talk about. "The other reasons not really a memory but a way of my own thinking. When ever something bad would happen, sometime's it would rain and I always thought that the sky was crying. Crying for those who couldn't and crying for the ones that refused to. It's a childish way of thinking but it keeps me going sometimes. That and I think it's pretty"

He sight and placed his head back on my shoulder. 'There you have it. The reason for my liking rain so much. Interesting isn't it?"

I'm smiled and placed a kiss on his warm temple. "Very much so. You are a very interesting person, Allen. You need to get yourself some credit." I said matter-of-factly.

He smiled and turned his head and gave me a quite, yet firm, kiss on the lips. Then he pulled away he smiled at me. The smile was that of an angel. I don't think I would be able to live with out it.

"I'm glad that I meet you, Lavi. I love you."

"Really? I'm glad I was able to meet myself to." He raised an eyebrow at this and slapped my arm gently before jumping off the desk and placing a rought kiss on my lips. Was he trying to bully me for that remark? I really didn't know and I sure as hell didn't care. He wrapped arms around my back and dragged me off the desk. But that didn't work so well..

I took a step foreword and tripped over him and we bith tumbled to the ground with a yelp.

"W-what that fuck?!" I heard a voice come from the door. I looked up and was meet with a very mortified Yuu. His mouth was open in shock and his eybrow was twiching.

"Hiya, Yuu-chan. You want to join?" I asked jokingly. He seemed to pull himself together as I spoke to him. He kicked the wall and stormed off.

"Thats the last fucking time I look for those two for Komui again. Fucking like horny fucking bunnies in a libaray!" I heard him shout as he walked threw the hallwall. I giggled and looked down at Allen, who was below me looking a little blue in the face.

"G-get..off..me..p-please. Can't...breath.."

"Sorry." I said as I pushed myself off him. He laid there on the floor for a moment trying to catch his breath before sat up.

"S'ok. Don't worry about it." He reasured me, smiling.

FINALLY! This is done! The second will be done..well i have no clue cause I'm going out of town tomorrow and I'm not going to have the net so yeah.

This was suppose to be a oneshot but I decided to do muil-chaps cause I like the idea to much. If i did write has a oneshot, if would be 100 pages long and I don't want to do that..

Anyway! It's like 10:30 in the morning and I'm still tired so I'm going to bed and sleep for a few more hours. I'll see you when I get back!