Inspired by MK Farmer's "Man in Red". Read it! Read it now! And now, I wasn't paid to plug that. I just have to applaud the person to post the first AuronXTidus yaoi. I salute you!
Takes place when Tidus is thrown underwater, after his 'sentence' is decided, and he'd left with Wakka and Rikku to search for Yuna and the others. Forgive anything in this ficlet that isn't quite correct; I have to admit I kinda went quickly through some of the dialogue *sweatdrop* Besides, some of these scenes I took into my own hands and re-made them.
Amazingly enough, I wasn't listening to "One Man Army" when I wrote this, but rather, Backstreet Boy's "The Call". Ehehe. But the lyrics fit for Auron, although it isn't from _his_ POV. Err, getting off track here...
Tidus' POV. R+R
___________________________
- One Man Army -
~ By Li
"...Overlooked,
Unfit appearance
I remember falling
I remember marching
Like a one man army
Through the blaze
I remember coughing
I believe in something..."
- Our Lady Peace
___________________________
Oooh, I had gotten myself into deep shit before,
but this, by far, had topped it all.
Everything had happened in a whirl; quickly, surreal, even. I remembered the trial, Yuna's horrified face - the realization that dawned upon her, upon all of us... - I remembered the Ronzo leader, Kelk, disappearing from sight, little gasps trailing from the 'court'. "Haven't you heard?" - Seymour's voice, raising slightly, as though surprised. As if killing your father in cold blood was normal. Racing through my mind, like adrenaline, 'you sick bastard'.
But my thoughts weren't enough. They never were. The trail ended with little resolution, and I remembered feeling the nozzle of a particularly nasty weapon cocked at the back of my head. Of course, I grabbed for my weapon, never being one to admit defeat easily - only to be hit - similar to the fashion Rikku used upon our first meeting - and I was out like a light.
I awoke some time later - accompanied by none other then you, Sir Auron himself, in some sort of swinging cell. Of course, being me, I rambled - made cheat threats and throttled the bars (or at least tried to) in vain, screaming curses and kicking and spitting - all leaving me with nothing but a dizzy spell and a lack of breath.
You were watching me. Always cool. How did you learn to keep yourself under control like that, anyways? Being me, naturally, the question surfaced, like a subconscious sort of thing. "How do you do that?" Voice rising, anxious, irritable. I was a nervous wreck. And who could blame me? Yuna was no where to be found. Or the others. Just you. And although it offered some sort of support, it wasn't enough.
"Calm yourself." Hmph. As if we're taking a nice stroll in the park.
"How can I?" My own voice, screeching. Pathetic sounding, probably to you. I should trust you, right? I mean, you're supposed to be used to danger and turmoil and life threatening situations - you've most likely been through worse, too? Right? Right?
Its going to be okay. Because you know what you're doing.
"Its but a minor setback." Smug, and I can almost sense the smile creeping onto your face - bastard. What do you know of that I don't?
"Do you have a plan?" I was pacing, back and forth, unable to make eye contact but dying to do so. I needed answers. And you seemed to enjoy to be slow on giving the information you knew I wanted to hear.
"No," Spoken lazily. You're not worried. I shouldn't have been either, then. Or something. I just didn't know what to think anymore. One minute I'm playing Blitzball, the second I'm on a pilgrimage, third I'm facing off this undefeatable monster deemed 'Sin'... "But everything will unfold soon enough."
"What? A plan?" I shook my head and stared, skeptical at you.
"The story book's pages will turn."
"Is that supposed to be a good thing?" There you on went with the whole storybook thing again... Hoo boy. Did you expect a gallant knight to come galloping up and bust us out? Or how about a magic fairy with pretty little glittery wings? Or a genie? Was this all to you a fantasy - a fairytale? Weren't you concerned? Weren't you worried?
You're seriously screwed up, you know that?
You were kinda like the unappointed leader to all of us - the strong and silent and brave - you never seemed overly concerned, always working for Yuna - like you were in love with her or something. Everything was for her. In some ways, it made me jealous - there was a respect Yuna held in her eyes for you that I felt as though I could never live up to. And there was some pang of jealousy against her too - although I couldn't exactly put my finger on what it was.
"You'll see for yourself."
You made me really angry sometimes. And then was one of those times. It was like I was about to burst. But I tried to remain my cool - who knew? Maybe one of the guards would come up and shoot me if I started yelling again. It would be an unfair fight, but hey, who said those guys played by the book? I had decided, then, that I didn't want to find out.
"What's up with everything in Spira, anyways?" I asked, curiosity taking me over from earlier. I didn't get it. Everything died. Death ruled Spira, it seemed. What were we fighting for, if the dead were ruling the living? Wasn't it all sort of pointless?
And you went into your explanation - it was funny really. I think it was the most you had ever said to me during the whole pilgrimage. I guess you needed to find some way to shut me up - and talking was the key to it. You had my full attention, and you knew it, didn't you? Occasionally I'd ask questions on the whole 'Spiral of Death' thing - but you never really answered directly, merely eventually got to it.
When you had concluded the whole thing, I felt the chill up my spine. You leaned against the thick bars of our own private prison cell of sorts, awaiting our sentence to be carried out, I guess. You wasn't in a rush to go, or be anywhere. Then again, the more I thought about what could be coming to us, the more I was not in a hurry to do anything, either.
I fell into deep thought. Your words somehow calmed me, soothed me, even though it shouldn't have been the least bit reassuring. I guess it wasn't, in the long run, but understanding makes you think a little clearer. And when you're thinking clearer, your panic and anxiety kind of washes away. I guess thats what had happened then - it just soothed me, and left me to contemplate over what you had explained.
You seemed satisfied with that.
"Your sentence has been decided."
We both turn around - although you turned slower, probably knowing who it was before he even came. Reflecting back, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised either. Kinoc was standing before us, trying to look high and important, but I knew he was nothing more then a power hungry ugly old git. I hated him. My hands clenched at my side as he spoke.
"Don't you mean our execution?" Leave it to you to
always be straight to the point with making thing clear on other people's
part, but never your own. Why did you always have to be so enigmatic when
I asked you questions?
"Now, now, Auron," Kinoc was smirking. Overstuffed
idiot. May you rot in the seven layers of hell. "What sort of person
would execute a dear friend?"
You didn't miss a beat. I guess I admired your bravery - your straight-forwardness. I couldn't have said something then - that sort of remark, anyway. I was too worked up over the others, that I afraid of messing up in fear of never seeing them again because of it. "You would."
~~~
We had been separated.
I had remembered swimming around blindly with Wakka and Rikku for a while - just sort of drifting aimlessly, trying to find a suitable exit where Yuna, you, and the others might have been. I guess I was sort of expecting you, to come up and aid me, like you had when I was lost hopelessly in the desert just before the destruction of Rikku's Home.
But you didn't come. Not even when I was forced to face off the ugliest sonuva bitch underwater I had ever seen. And when the first blow was exchanged, and Wakka was nearly rendered unconscious, Rikku frantically attending to his injuries, I began to get a little frightened.
I guess you would have laughed at me, had you known how scared I was. Not for my sake, being scared that is, not because I might die, but because I might never see Yuna's gorgeous smile again, or Lulu holding her stuffed doll like a daughter, or Kimahari's stern facial expressions... or you.
I had never even gotten a chance to say good bye.
This wasn't my story, like you said - my story would have had you by my side every moment. You might as well damn been my guardian, since I was always by Yuna, thus you were always beside me. I wasn't used to fighting without your help. I felt awkward, and strangely alone, without you. It felt like I couldn't win.
As the fight got more brutal, and I got injured further to the point where without the aid of the water allowing me to float, I wouldn't have been able to have stood. There was red floating before my vision, and I couldn't tell if it was my own blood or my eyes conjuring up colors before I passed out. I don't remember exactly what it had been that kept me going, kept me fighting - to the very last beheading sweep on my part, and the strangled battle cry that escaped my swollen lips -
But it wasn't a victory cry - it wasn't the name of my summoner's name on my lips as Brotherhood came down with bone crushing force - it was your name.
I suppose it was then that the realization came upon me - although I knew, down inside, that it had tagged along all along, nagging me as I went. But I guess it was then, with your absence, and the fate of Wakka and Rikku's life resting heavily on my shoulder, that I came to terms with my emotions.
As the water dwelling beast gave its final muted
roar before it seemed to dissolve into nothing but little colorful sparks,
I knew, in my heart, that I would be fighting at your side once again in
due time.
~~~
Kimahari had leapt before Seymour, so readily, so willing to give his life that it was touching. He plunged the head of his halberd deep within the unsent one's heart - but naturally, it did little then amuse Seymour. As Kimahari ripped the tip of the blade free, the transformation took place.
Everyone wanted to stay and help - and I was just as readily to give my life, just as Kimahari was. I guess after all those battles, even those without your help, when all else seemed to have drifted into disappear, that I had truly learned hope. It was at that point that I no longer feared death - but nor was I expecting it to rear its ugly head. After all that, it was with the grim determination that I knew I couldn't loose - not after coming this far. But still, I was ready to participate in battle, no question about it. And everyone else seemed to agree with it.
However, it shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was, that your voice rose above everyone else's, taking charge, as always. Commanding. "Go!"
No one wanted to budge, but we all slowly complied. I think, reflecting back, that I was the last one to turn, and the first to be ready to open my mouth to object.
"What the hell are you smoking, Auron?" I nearly roared, throwing my hands back dramatically at Kimahari who was holding off Seymour as best as he could alone. "He's gonna get killed!"
"He knew the terms of agreement when he became a guardian." Determination of your own - I was so angry with you then, but you were doing what you had sworn to do - deliver your summoner to safety before and above everything else. But I didn't understand that then - all I cared about was the other's safety. "We must depart. It isn't safe here."
They all seemed reluctant to go, but they did. They were beginning to go when I once again objected, and they seemed grateful, relieved that someone was standing up to you to go back. But I wasn't relieved when I saw what I was faced with.
I had never been so scared before. But I was also
calm, like you had been during all of those other situations where our
lives teetering threateningly on but a thread that was coming close to
breaking.
Your blade, by your own hand - against my neck,
pressed greedily, until it was hard to breath. Cold unmoving steel - your
grip on the hilt of your sword never wavering. A grim expression I had
never seen before, etched across your rugged features. Remorse? Pity? You
didn't want to deal the blow, but Yuna's life came before everyone else's.
I guess I had to give you credit.
I narrowed my eyes. "You wouldn't." Breathed so low, I'm certain only he heard. "You couldn't." A hiss, soft, like a breath that of passing wind. A challenge. Do it. Does nothing else matter? Then finish me off, because I'm not leaving. I could see your features harden.
"Give me a reason, and I swear I will," there was a sort of pleading just beyond those glasses, that begged me not to make him execute what he would be forced to do. Low voice. No one heard. It was as though he had mouthed it.
I gave in, hands thrown up in defeat. You released the grip, allowing the blade of it to clank against the ground. The others were watching, expectantly, I guess seeing if they really would. I looked back at Kimahari once more, helplessly. "C'mon guys," I sighed, "Let's go."
You had seemed grateful, and led the way.
~~~
Yuna wanted to go back, and had convinced me into taking her side.
"I'm your guardian," I added after she had come to her conclusion of not leaving Kimahari behind, relieved to know you wouldn't have any say in it. "Which means I'll follow you anywhere."
"Anywhere?" She echoed. "Then let's go back!"
We all left, one by one, you bringing up the rear.
When there was a random encounter with some sort of ugly machine that nearly
knocked me back to Zanarkand with its attack that was some sort of thrust
kick, I remembered, so vividly, asking you: "You with us, Auron?"
There was a slight chuckle on your part, and I enjoyed
knowing that there were no hard feelings. You weren't a foe I was too keen
on facing; and it was good to know you'd be by my side once more. "I am
a Guardian too, am I not?"
Yes. I was cheering inside as I delivered
the final blow, rushing forward eagerly to aid Kimahari, you and Yuna and
the others hot on my heels, just as eager in their efforts.
It was during that long stretch to back where what seemed like, at the time, the final battle was being held, that I had time to reflect on the brief encounter with your blade at my neck. I knew deep down inside, you would have never gone through with it. And had you, you would have never forgiven yourself.
It was painfully obvious. You could have never brought it upon yourself to deal with me in such a manner - although it would have been a perfect example on your part to show that you were willing to go to any heights for your summoner. And perhaps, that was your true weakness - Me. I guess I would be a worthy opponent should I defy Yuna. But of course, that was the last thing on my mind.
Lets face it - you're in love with me, aren't you Auron? When had it happened, I wonder. When had it all occurred? Kind of ironic, really. You, with the emotions of a brick - like an ice prince. You were never really open with your emotions, feelings, and opinions - the only thing I was used to was stony faced silence and that little chuckle occasionally that I had learned to enjoy so dearly in the past few months we shared together.
You and I are so different. I guess I was proud and kinda drunk feeling, when it all clicked together up in my head. Love, huh? Who the hell would have ever guessed? You wouldn't admit it in a thousand years, but it exists. Maybe you're not hopeless after all.
And I guess the words will never escape your lips
or mine, even when its all over - not with Yuna in the way, at least. She's
the one barrier. The thing that brings us together, yet tears us apart.
Because when the time comes, who am I to choose?
~FIN~
A/N: ANGST. WHOO!
maybe I'll write a sequel. Ehehehehe.
Just review :)