The Introduction

By Ayngel

This is just a one shot humerous piece I wrote a while back whilst I was developing Mirage's character. It's a replay of More Than meets the Eye 2, from Mirage's perspective.

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers or any of the characters or concepts in any official publication.

From the journal of Mirage D'Ligier, Intelligence Officer, Autobot Earth Contingent, ET July 1885:

... later that morning I was introduced to these humans Hound had been on about – small carbon based pinkish coloured life forms with dark organic matter attached to their heads who apparently covered their bodies in synthetic wraps the whole time.

There were two of them. The Autobots, as I understood it, had "made friends" with them after some incident on an oil rig the day before and had engaged them to tell us about the planet. Evidently they were related – the larger one being the "father" of the littler one, a term I deduced was similar to being a creator, although how the replication process might come about in these creatures was a complete mystery.

My logic circuits reeled at the stupidity of bringing the creatures into the Ark like this when we knew so little about this place. I mean – they were obviously of great inferiority to ourselves physically, but how could we know what else they could do; who they might be in league with? And finding out about the planet – wasn't that supposed to be my job here? A darkness descended within my mood indicators. It was true. I was going to be redundant here. My presence among the Autobots was for entirely ulterior motives.

Hound, however, seemed ecstatic about it all, and not in the least adverse to sharing information. When I'd joined them a short while ago in the room next to the med bay, he and Trailbreaker had been sounding off about the situation on Cybertron to the littler one, apparently completely unconcerned about any possible consequences, while the human looked on with a kind of wonderment, as though he clearly considered them in a league with deities. No doubt, this pleased them greatly, seeing as how they both tended to be shoved in the background and under recognised beside the flamboyant performances of some of the more exhibitionist element of the Autobots.

"Well then!'' Hound said, beaming at me, as I approached. "Let's have a look at it then!"

For a moment I was confused. "What?" I asked.

"The alt form of course!"

"Oh – that …" and I'd obligingly transformed, wincing somewhat as new circuits and mechanisms grated and graunched, finding the right pathways and sliding into action for the first time.

"Oh very nice!" said Hound. "Very nice. Your colours - suits you!" I heard Trailbreaker muttering something which sounded like a concurrence.

The human, however, sounded far more impressed. "Wow!" he yelled. "That is so cool! Way to go!"

I was puzzled. "Why do you use that word," I asked, "when the temperature is something in the order of 34 degrees in your measurements?

"Aw .., said the human" still sounding as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Just a thing we say when we thinks something's really, really good!"

I heard Hound and Trailbreaker chuckle indulgently.

"I see," I said. It wasn't bad, actually. Sleek and streamlined, like I always had my alt forms. But hopelessly inhibited by what was obviously extremely inferior technology. It looked all right and would be quicker than walking. That much could be said for it. I said. "So you think this is really good?"

"Do I ever!" cried the human.

"Why?" I asked. "It's just a means of getting around isn't it? A rather inefficient one if you ask me. As these wheels and tires are very poorly adapted for these surfaces …"

Out of the corner of my optic I saw Hound watching us closely.

"Ah yeah ...," the human was saying, "... but you see, Mirage, normally you'd run on roads. Made of tar. Much smoother. And you..." he paused and a kind of dreamy smile lit up his face, " ... you'd be running on a race track which is real smooth …"

Now he'd completely lost me. We had race tracks on Cybertron, of course, which I'd performed on often – with great success - but there was no way that an inferior machine such as this would have a place anywhere near one. I decided not to confuse things further for now, however.

"Why do we have these wheels and tyres anyway?" I asked. "Haven't you humans ever heard of quantum levitation? What's wrong with molecule propulsion?"

"Dur? Quantum … what?" said the human in a tone which left me in no doubt that he had not the slightest idea what I was talking about. He sounded dismayed.

Hound came to the rescue. "It's a means by which we move one surface along another with a load of particles accelerating very fast in between Spike – so the surfaces don't have to touch. It's how we move around on Cybertron."

"Oh cool, really cool!

Primus preserve us, I thought. Didn't it have anything else in it's vocabulary?

"Anyway, the human was prattling again, "you're really something. You're a racing car! I can't believe it. I've never been up so close to one before. You'd be one of the fastest cars on the planet!"

I was speechless. He couldn't be serious. There was no way that this form could reach even a fraction of the speed of my alt form on Cybertron. If this was one of their best land rollers, then Primus help the rest of their technology.

"So," I said, "tell me how I'm supposed to exercise this exulted status up to my hubcaps in sand out there?"

The human scratched at the dark matter on his head. "Aw well, that's a bit of a problem! I dunno - you see - cars like Hound and Trailbreaker – you guys are perfect for this place! I dunno ..." he looked at Hound. "Why would you have a racing car out here?"

The level of intelligence on display, I thought, explained the lack of advancement in other areas.

"Ah well you see, Spike" explained Trailbreaker, in the same sort of voice which he probably used with his sparklings back on Cybertron. "We're given alt forms by Teletran 1 which have been assessed to reflect our designation. Hound, here, is a tracker on Cybertron. I myself am a defence strategist. And Mirage here is well …"

"… different," Hound cut in quickly, "and a racer back on Cybertron. A champion, actually, Spike."

"Oh WOW!" said the human. I was regarded with renewed awe. "Hound! We gotta take him to the track sometime. I reckon he could beat all the Earth cars right out!"

"Spike, that's a great idea." Hound grinned wickedly. "I'm sure he'd love that. Wouldn't you Mirage?"

I transformed, tired of this nonsense and annoyed with the Tracker for making so light of what was actually a potentially very serious situation. It was obvious that, however superior this primitive machine was compared to others of its kind, it was completely inferior in this situation and would in fact hinder my work rather than help it, and a suspicion crept in that maybe Teletran 1 had actually orchestrated things this way.

"Far out!" said the human as I transformed, another completely pointless utterance as far as I could tell. How d'ya do that?"

"Like this!" said Hound, and transformed himself, obviously in his element now and showing off, delighted at having his – by contrast - superior capabilities outlined so eloquently.

"Incredible!" said the human. I watched with some annoyance as Hound went on to demonstrate a holographic technique which made it look as though there were a human type on the front seat, explaining it in great detail to his increasingly enraptured audience.

I felt suddenly infuriated at the ridiculously casual attitude about our abilities being displayed before these creatures. Never mind my supposedly "fast" alt form. If we were going to bring these creatures in here like this then they had better know what I was capable of doing and they'd better be aware that the Trion Code of Conduct which forbade me from using the electro disruptor within the confines of the Ark to obtain information about my colleagues did not apply to them.

'Well," I said, moving closer to the human and aware that I towered over him in a somewhat intimidating manner. "Try this!" and I activated the shield, disappearing, crossing to the other side of the room and then reappearing.

"Invisibility," said the human, shaking his head. I think he might, by then, have been saturated with wonderment. "That's the best disguise of all ...," he went on, " ... it's like – magic!"

Again, I didn't know what he was talking about. "Yes," I said, "So just you remember that .."

I could see Hound and Trailbreaker looking at me in a less than amused fashion. Trailbreaker moved over and knelt down beside the human and said something. "Why d'you have to be like this?!" Hound hissed in a whisper. "It won't earn you any points here Mirage. Kell, we need these creatures! They're the only allies we have right now …"

"Well hopefully we won't be here long enough to get any better acquainted!" I snapped, annoyed at his meek acceptance of this ridiculous proposal.

He gave me a long, hard look. "I'm taking the boy for a ride. …," he said, I'll talk to you later …"