Diclaimer: I don't own it, blah blah de blah.. ON with the STORY!

Malik groaned.

"Ugh! My head, it feels like the time Bakura and Marik got me drunk and I ended up lap dancing them…nope definitely worse…"

He clutched his throbbing head and looked slowly around him. Harsh whiteness invaded his eyesight along with a chemical smell clogging his nose.

"Hospital? Where's..well anyone really…" He swung his legs off the bed and stood up precariously. Taking small measured steps he determinedly walked out the horrible room and set about finding where Marik was.

"God I hope they've tried to keep him from killing anyone…"

"MARIK! PUT. THE MACHETE. DOWN!" Yami ordered forcefully.

"You're not pharaoh any more! You're not pharaoh anymore!"

Marik sang to the tune of 'no more heroes' by the stranglers, while readying a machete to slice through a watermelon, with terrified house elves looking at the spectacle from the safety of their refuge. Bakura was making out with Ryou against the biscuit cupboard and Yugi was explaining (roughly) what they were.

"So, all we need to know is Yami was a pharaoh, Bakura a tomb robber, all to do with magical monsters from a card game and Marik is…"

Yugi sighed.

"Marik is the physical embodiment of Malik rage and pain."

"Check. And you have magic called dark magic but not evil, you're the only ones to posses it because of some gaudy jewellery that the spirit of Yami and Bakura lived in for three thousand years..magic let them …do what exactly?"

" –sigh- Our magic allows us to project our other halves spirits onto this plane of existence with a physical manifestation allowing non-millenium wielders to see them."

Harry blinked. "Yeah. We completely get that, what we don't get is why Marik thinks it's a good idea to cut a watermelon in half with a machete."

"Have we not said before, Marik is an insane weirdo. Does he have to think it's a good idea to do it?"

Marik had finally conceded that chopping up watermelon wasn't a good idea.

"OOOOHH!" he yelled. "I know what's gonna be fun. Chopping up the elephant people into tiny little bits."

Quite alarmed now Harry yelled,

"Yami! Please say he's joking!"

But Yami could only pull at Marik as he descended on the small cowering elves.

"Marik. What're you doing?"

Marik stopped and winced and then he did the one thing nobody thought he would,(or could) do.

He played innocent.

"Noooothing."

He hid the machete behind his back as Malik calmly albeit tiredly, walked towards him.

"Marik, give me the machete."

Ron, Harry and Hermione watched as the apparently insane murderous spirit pouted like a petulant child, handing over the dangerous weapon to the small petit 18 year old.

"Marik…"

The wizards held their breath. If Marik was afraid of Malik what horrors could he unleash?

"Carry me up to bed. I'm tired." And with this he yawned cutely. Marik did as instructed but as they were leaving he was heard to say,

"Can I play with the elephant people tomorrow?"

"If you're good. And if you're quiet I let you have the machete back. But no killing. Maiming only okay sweetie?"

The wizards stood there in shock. Yugi ignoring the 'wtf?' faces of his new friends nodded sagely.

"Malik's right we should all go to bed. Come on Yami."

Taking his counterparts small hand, the silent pharaoh nodded at the wizards and Bakura said nothing as he wrapped Ryou's legs around his waist and waltzed out still kissing furiously. Ryou waved chirpily not breaking contact either.

Harry coughed.

"um..are we insane? We're insane aren't we? I'm quite sure if I wasn't insane before, I am now." Ron broke into babble and walked very fast around in a circle. Hermione, who was trying to calm him down, followed him creating a circle of mayhem and babbling. Harry, ignoring the unusual stupidity in his friends thought about what had been said to him.

After calming down he realised that he probably wouldn't have believed what hqad been said if not the evidence of it, in the form of a giant glowing pissed off dragon god. Therefore he would just go with the flow.

He turned around to explain his epiphany and sweat-dropped.

"guys? GUYS?"

Ron had been gathering speed while apparently loosing IQ points.

"MAD I SAY!"

Hermione would reiterate with.

"Calm down Ronald!"

"MAD. BLOODY MAD..."

"Calm down…"

"I SAY!"

"RONALD!"

"SHUT UP FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN AND ALL HIS BEARDS!"

Harry yelled.

Ron and Hermione blinked. Harry sighed in contentment. A squeak made them refocus on the hoards of house elves quivering in pans and dishes around the kitchen. Two were even hiding in a bread basket looking for the entire world like a calendar picture for world's ugliest hairless cats.

"Ah."

Hermione blushed and Ron scratched the back if his head burning that lovely Weasley red. They quickly exited the kitchens where they had been talking before Marik, Malik's apparent counterpart found a machete and found decapitating certain head shaped fruit extremely amusing.

At the common room they parted ways awkwardly and Ron scuttled into the bathroom quickly and Harry just collapsed on his bed. Today had been exhausting. Malik apparently had issues with underground spaces along with freaky scar tattoos and his new friends had evil spirit counterparts and could summon powerful beasts at their will.

To quote Ron Weasley.

"Bloody Brilliant."

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