A/N:- Hey everyone! this is my first time even writting a story so please BE NICE!!! I don't own anything to do with Twilight so please don't sue me either! This story is rated M/MA just because I am paranoid. The idea for the story plot is close to my heart. These are the first three chapters just because I dislike starting to read a story and it only has one chapter and I have gotten really into it and then nothing for ages, I understand though that not everyone has heaps of free time all the time.

PLUS I WOULD LIKE TO SAY A MASSIVE THANK YOU TO AMY (AKA - TEAMTWILIGHT26) SHE HAS BEEN THE BIGGEST AND BEST FRIEND I COULD'VE EVER ASK FOR AND HAVE!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!!!

Summery:- Bella is a 17 yr old girl living in forks her whole life, her mother died when she was young and her father beats her. what will happen when she meets a certain family that turn out to be vamps and her life starts becoming like a yo-yo...read to find out, really bad at summery making.

Resilience and Perseverance

Chapter One: My Hell

My name is Isabella Marie Swan and I'm 17. Not that it means much. I feel all alone in this world. I can't have any friends; I can't even talk to anyone, especially boys, unless it's for school, let alone even a boyfriend. My life is controlled that way by HIM. To the small town of Forks, Washington, where we live, my father is Charlie Swan, Police Chief and model father. I saw a very different side of him though. This man was the reason I couldn't sleep at night, he was a monster. All I want is to be in a happier place where I had loving parents and I had freedom, where no one raised a hand to hurt me or used cruel words to bring me down.

The day I was born, my mother was in no condition to even name me and my 'father', if you could call him that, was more preoccupied with her, almost like I was nothing more than a complication in his world. My grandmother helped name me and look after me; she was the only one that cared for me. My mom was never really the same after I was born, so I don't really know what she thought of me, but I was told she cared. As I grew up I spent less and less time with my mom till one day I was told she got sick and died at the tender age of 4 and my grandmother got really sick and passed away when I was 8, so I really only had my father and he was a monster to say the least.

I had to grow up pretty quickly, Charlie, that's my father's name by the way, seemed to want a slave more than a daughter so I had to learn to cook, clean and do other house hold chores whenever I was ask to or by certain times. His dinner for example had to be on the table with a can of beer when he walked in the door from work, if I didn't he would yell often. He continued to drink more once he got home. It really should have been a sign to me to be more careful of him. One day when I was 10 I really, REALLY wanted to go to this birthday party that a girl from school, and my only friend, was having. I shouldn't have pushed him, I should have just gone to my room and left it be. That was the first time Charlie hit me.

FLASHBACK

I had just finished dinner and picked up the plates and Charlie told me he wanted a new beer in the lounge room.

"Hey d-dad?" I asked, biting my bottom lip nervously

"What do you want?" He yelled back at me. I should of said "oh I just wanted to know if you wanted anything before I went to my room" but instead I said.

"Oh I w-was just w-wondering if I could g-go to Amy's house for her b-birthday p-party?"

I really shouldn't have hoped that he may let me go; I mean I have never been allowed out of this house unless it was for a school matter, or with my father, and even those excursions were rare. But what he did really shocked me; I mean I never thought he would actually hit me

But that's what he did. As he turned around and stood up from the couch, his hands were balled into fists and his face was red, he walked up to me and yelled right into my face "YOU. ARE. NOT. GOING. TO. ANY. PARTIES!!! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT, YOU STUPID GIRL. NOW GET TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE TILL YOU HAVE TO LEAVE FOR SCHOOL IN THE MORNING!"

"B-b-but dad, p-p-please l-let m-me go" I pleaded in a whispered and that was all it took for him to turn around and throw a punch, perfectly aimed at my face. I fell to the floor, sobs escaping from me as I held a hand to my face and looked into the angry eyes of a crazed man that in no way resembled the person who was supposed to be my father.

The next thing I knew I was being dragged to my bedroom and my father saying that he was never going to let me out until the day he dies.

END FLASHBACK

Since then I have never been asked to go to anything else, I don't even get asked to go over to other kids' houses to do school work anymore, it's all done at school.

And also since then I have never once be left alone by him, he is always hitting me to let out his frustrations and whatever else was bothering him that day and any little thing will set him off. Not once can I go to the hospital, they will ask too many questions but one day about a year ago he had no choice but to call an ambulance to take me there.

FLASHBACK

I was late coming home from school and he had come home early, but I didn't know, as soon as I had walked in the door and closed it he had his hands around my neck and was shaking me violently while squeezing my throat, he threw me to the ground and started to kick me over and over and over and over again.

"Why were you late you filthy, stupid, ungrateful little bitch?" He spat at me.

"N-n-nothing...d-d-dad....I....j-j-just....had t-t-to.....h-h-help....out a.....t-t-teacher.....I h-h-have a.......n-n-note." I managed to choke out but that just made him madder.

He picked me up and dragged me up the stairs; he didn't even bother about standing me up to walk, so I hit every step on the way up. Once at the top he shoved me into my room and threw me down on the bed, he turned to leave. I really should have left it but I didn't do anything wrong and I wasn't going to let it go when I didn't do anything at all. So in between gasps, panting and sobs I said.

"B-b-but dad, i-i-i r-r-really.....did help.......a teacher and have a..."

I stopped right there because he had turned back around to face me with a look that was worse than one that could kill. He came back over to me grabbed me by the throat again and walked back to the stairs but stopped at the top and all he did was stare at me. Suddenly he pulled me closer to him and I could smell the alcohol on his breath now and the murderous look in his eyes. I was convinced that whatever was about to happen may be the last thing that happens to me and all I could do was think about how it would be so much better than being alive, if you could call the hell I live in a life.

"I. DON'T. CARE! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME. YOUR MOTHER DIED BECAUSE OF YOU, SO DID YOUR GRANDMOTHER. THEY CARED TOO MUCH ABOUT SOMEONE AS WORTHLESS AS YOU AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED. YOU CAN'T EVEN DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD! YOU ARE NOTHING, YOU'RE AN UNGRATEFUL, UGLY, MORONIC LITTLE HAG AND YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR IT. DON'T EVEN THINK THAT YOU'LL SEE YOUR MUM WHEN YOU DIE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GO TO HEAVEN LIKE HER!!!" He spat at me and then the next thing I know I was falling backwards down the stairs. I tumbled three times and hit my head on the railing and the wall several times. I heard heaps of cracks and what sounded like a popping noise coming from my back that sent ripples of pain up and down my spine, but leaving my legs and feet feeling like I sat on them for too long and suddenly than stood up on them. When I hit the bottom I couldn't move but I heard him coming down after me and I waited for more to come, so I was shocked when I heard his worried voice coming closer to me and a hand being gently placed on my shoulder.

"Oh my god Bella, are you alright? Shit! What have I done, I didn't mean it! You just make me so mad sometimes that I just lash out. Just hold on honey you'll be alright" He said.

I could hear him go to the kitchen and dial a number.

"Hey I need an ambulance at 7 Moss St right now.....Yes that's my house......No I'm alright, but my daughter took a really bad fall down the stairs, she's breathing erratically and not moving on the ground at the foot of the stairs so can you get here ASAP PLEASE!"

I felt his hand on my shoulder again. "It's going to be alright Bells; the ambulance is on its way ok?" He said. Where did this come from? Not once has he ever been nice to me unless someone was over for dinner but he never ever showed any signs of concern for me if I was ill or anything like that so what the hell was going on?

I could hear sirens coming from outside and the door opening and many voices all hovering over me. I could feel the neck brace go on and being lifted on to the gurney and put in the ambulance but then the darkness closed in as the pain was being taken away. The next thing I remember is waking up in a bright white room, with someone holding my hand. I looked up to see my dad sitting there next to me on my right hand side looking..... Worried?

"D-d-dad?" I asked confused as to why he looked worried, thinking he was changed and things were going to be better from now on. How wrong I was though as soon as he saw I was awake, he got a blank look on his face and he said "Good you're awake, now you listen here and you listen well. DON'T TELL ANYONE ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED YOU GOT IT? You tripped and fell ok but you don't remember the details you got all that, or do you need me to repeat anything for your slow and stupid mind to catch up?"

"N-n-no I got it a-a-all, I tripped and fell down the stairs but I don't remember anything about what happened just before I fell." I said without looking at him. He seemed content with that and sat back down as the new doctor in town walked in the door.

He was very tall, with really blond hair and golden eyes. He was gorgeous, should have been on a runway instead of working in a hospital and way too young looking.

"Well it's good to see your finally awake Miss. Swan. How do you feel? And what do you remember about what happened to you?" He gave a small smile as he looked at me waiting for my reply, I looked at my father and he just stared at me. So I took a breath and repeated what my father wanted me to say and told the doctor how I felt, then I asked what were my injuries and when I was going to be able to get back to school because I didn't want to fall behind or anything.

That's when I found out that I dislocated the vertebras in my spine while I broke almost all of my ribs. He told me that I was going to have to have physiotherapy on my back and surgery to place a support down my spine to help strengthen it so I don't dislocate any vertebras again. I would still be able to move around with some normalcy after the physiotherapy but I maybe in some pain for a long time.

Oh GREAT! Just what I needed, more pain I thought.

END FLASHBACK

I only just finished the physiotherapy 2 months ago, but when we got back from the hospital about 2 weeks after my 'fall'. My father just grumbled but helped me around when he was home and my best friend Amy Bennett got all my work from school and brought it over for me. She helped me out for a little bit and when my father wanted a break he would call his good friend Billy Black to send his son Jacob over to help me out so they could go fishing or whatever, not that I cared where he went just that he went. Most of the time I wished that he would drown or something like that. Jacob wasn't of much help, always trying to force himself onto me, and because I couldn't fight him off he succeeded one day.

FLASHBACK

He helped me onto my bed, after waiting for me to finish in the bathroom. He sat on the bed next to me, I didn't mind his company before this point so I had let him be that close. Then he started to run a hand up and down my leg while looking at my whole body especially my lips and chest.

"Jake can you stop that please?" I asked him because he really was starting to creep me out, I wasn't his girlfriend or anything like that so he had no right to touch me like that, plus I didn't like him like that at all.

"No I won't, because I kinda like doing it. Honestly Bells, I really like you and I would really like to have you" He answered back to me with a sick, sadistic smile on his face.

"Please Jake; I don't think of you that way and I am injured cant we talk about this when I get better?" I pleaded. I was in too much pain to have a conversation like this right now.

"No Isabella, I will not stop and we will do this now because you are easier to get to right now and I may not have another chance to do this another time." OMG! No one calls me by my full name unless something bad is going to come or I have done something wrong.

His hand moved up from my lower leg to my upper thigh. He was rubbing my thigh up and down all the time getting closer to his goal.

"Please Jake stop it, I don't want you to do that!" I pleaded again but to no avail. He pulled my sweats off and then my panties, he actually licked his lips as he opened up my top. I couldn't lift my arms up to lift tops over my head so I had to wear a button up. Then he started to kiss me while one hand was on my breast and the other still rubbing my upper thigh, but getting further up yet again and pressing himself up against me. I tried to struggle away from him but I couldn't, he was too strong and I was in too much pain from my back and other injuries. He pulled back from my face long enough to look at me and smile, then he went back and started to kiss down my neck and then lingered on my breasts. His hand on my thigh was suddenly in me, it hurt real bad almost like he was shoving daggers in me but that was nothing to what I was about to feel.

He looked at me again and his smile disappeared for a small second. "Oh come on Isabella, you better start to look like your enjoying yourself or I am just going to make this longer and draw it out. It will be over and done with if you make it look like your enjoying it and join in" He sneered sickly at me.

I'm ashamed to say this, but I really just wanted it over with and for him to leave, so I gave up. I put on a smile and stopped struggling against him all the while tears still fell down my face no matter what I did.

"That's a good girl, Isabella." He said with a wickedly satisfying sound to it. He stood up than and took his clothes off, he moved my legs apart exposing where he wanted to go. He grabs my wrists in one hand and held them above my head, while with the other he guides himself into me and forcefully thrusts himself inside me when he knows he was in the right place. It felt like I was being ripped from the inside out, I felt like I was being broken and that there wasn't a part of me now that wasn't destroyed in every way that was possible to be. And what made it all worse was that I couldn't even fight back, I just laid there in pain and misery and kept my eyes closed the whole time.

"There you go Bella, it's all over. That wasn't so bad, now was it?" He asked after he was done with me.

I wanted to scream at him "Yes you filthy pig, it was horrible" But all I could do was whisper "Guess not"

He turned and walked out the door, but before he left he told me that I couldn't tell anyone at all and that he would find out if I did and thanked me as he turned the corner to go down the stairs. My father still hadn't (and I don't think he wanted to) put my door back up from when he broke it down.

I just turned my head the other way and cried myself to sleep. After that night every time I have a shower I scrub myself at least 5 times over before I get out.

End Flashback

Once I could get around better (which I forced myself to get better after that night, didn't want to be 'looked after' by anyone again) I had to start doing dinner and small stuff at first but I am right back up to doing everything I did before my so called 'fall'. And the yelling came back worse than ever if that was even possible and he still hits me but is more careful about it. He never hit my face or anywhere that I couldn't cover it up, if he could help it.

I soon went back to school and I started avoiding people and I'd jump at any loud noises as well as sudden movements. But with every step I take it's like about a million tiny daggers being shoved repeatedly up and down my spine I have pain killers but I don't want to take them during the day if I can help it because I needed to be awake and alert at school. Luckily I have Amy, she's the only one that knows my secret, knows what hell I go through every day after school and even during it with the likes of Tanya, Jess and Lauren the school bitches and town sluts and Mike Newton always trying to get me to go out with him and touch me like I was his possession.

Amy is my rock, the most caring person that I know of, she is always trying to tell me to report him or run away and that she would run away with me. I really like her; she is more of a sister to me than just a friend. We both have similar likes, dislikes and hobbies. She was 5'1-ish with light brown hair that hung to her shoulders; her eyes are blue with a little green in them that always made me think of the crystal clear water of some tropical sea. Even though she doesn't think this, to me she is more beautiful than Tanya, Jess and Lauren combined. We had most of our classes together and she really knows how to make me smile.

A/N:- Ok I hope you like it so far, PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS! Please again BE NICE no matter whether you like this story or not for I don't mind either way I just that this is my first fanfic and even writting a story plus the idea came from something personal.

PLEASE REVIEW!! til next chapter