Hello to the fandom world. This is just me fiddling with my pen name. At no time is this advocating drugs…stay away from them, Bella should have. Have a quick read, it will only take two minutes. You may even feel a bit sad at the end.

My Brand Of Heroin: The Monkey On Bella's Back.

Bella's POV.

Snapping my tourniquet around the top of my arm, pulling sharply, I restricted the blood flow to my arterial vein. Two rapid pumps with my fist caused it to bulge, ready to insert the heroin-filled-syringe I held clenched between my teeth.

Please no Bella, don't hurt yourself.

There he is.

Edward always spoke to me before I hit up. Warning me of the danger. It was why I started this disastrous journey in the first place. To hear him.

I yearned for his voice, needed to hear it.

He had forsaken me, discarded my love that day in the forest. I was now…alone.

Angling the sharp, steel barb it broke through my scarred skin, piercing my vein. Pressured blood surging into its chamber.

My chin on the clip, I released the tourniquet with a snap. Pushing the plunger in, I waited for sweet relief.

Careful Bella you do not know how strong this is.

Again, he spoke to me.

My heart beat sluggishly, forcing the intoxicating poison throughout my blood stream. Spreading the heroin around my body.

Waves flowed over me, releasing my painfully cramped muscles.

The batch was potent.

My eyelids become too heavy to hold open. The cotton-wool effect of the drug consuming my brain function.

No pain. No Edward leaving me. No Bella.

My soul didn't hurt so much now, I was numb. The agony he had caused when he left me, suppressed.

Near unconscious my body slid down to crumple in an undignified heap, propped up only by the damp, dirty wall.

"This, Edward, is my brand of heroin." My lips mouthed the words he'd once used. I was too far gone to know or care if they came out.

Edward's POV.

I knew I was close to finding Bella in this maze of depression. I had to find her.

Roaming over the Junkies and down-and-outs minds, I located Bella not long ago, hobbling down an alley. Alone.

This was the alley.

I steeled myself for what I would find. Alice had warned me; she would be near dead.

My footsteps echoed off the dank brick walls, she was there at the end. Her body half concealed by a stack of crates.

Shock!--I want to vomited. Could I still vomit? If I could, I was about to.

Her brown hair hung limply, wearing old jeans and a black long-sleeved top. She had no shoes on her dirty feet.

This surely was not my beautiful Bella.

The offending syringe still in her arm. She had not taken it out before slumping, head forward, eyes closed. If I had not been able to hear a soft, extremely slow heart beat, I would've thought she was dead.

Oh Bella, what have you done to yourself?

A slight pendulum swing of the syringe hanging in her arm distracted me.

Holding my breath, I pulled it out. Bending her arm up at the elbow to stop the blood trickling out.

Dazed she barely mumbled, "Good gear. I know you're not really there, Edward."

A solitary tear gathering underneath her closed eyelid. Eventually, rolling a bleak trail down her dirty cheek.

"It's only the smack, he's never coming." Her voice sad, resigned to fate.

It was a pathetic sight. I had driven her to this.

Why Bella. Why?

She was that wasted she didn't protest when I picked her up. I could have been anyone. With any intention.

I could not leave her like this. Not after I had destroyed her.

Bella's POV.

Shit, this was some strong stuff he's got me in his arms now. Maybe I'd died and gone to heaven.

I would not have been so lucky.

Why Bella. Why?

He spoke to me, again.

"Why, Edward? Because you had your own personal brand of heroin…me. I was so easy to throw away. I wanted my own brand to replace the agonizing hole you left."

No sense. No reason. No rhyme.

It sounded crazy, I know. However, so did answering a voice in my head.

Breathe Bella, now.

Edward's voice commanded.

I couldn't hold my head up anymore, its weight on my shoulders too heavy. My neck muscles released my head and it fell backward, hanging like a rag-dolls.

Goodbye world. No reason to stay.

Edward's POV.

She was as light as a feather, nothing to her. Her bag slung over my shoulder I carried her toward my hotel. She didn't smell that great although I could still sense her essence. That was still Bella.

"Why Bella, Why?" I asked not expecting any response.

A garble came from her lips, answering my rhetorical question.

"Edward…your own personal brand…so easy to throw away…replace the agonizing…"

I knew what the young hood was going to do before he had done it. The intended bump, my cell and money clip leaving my pocket.

Keep it, it's only money.

I have Bella now.

Oh God, he had distracted me. How long since she had taken a breathe.

"Breath Bella, now." I ordered. She wouldn't dare die on me now.

She took a shallow breath, and then passed out entirely.

I had been a monster leaving her.

"Nearly there Bella. Stay with me till then, please."

My voice pleaded with her. Could she hear me?

Kicking open the door to the suite I placed her in the bath under the shower. Turning the cold water on full.

"Fuck. What's that?" She wailed.

Bella's POV.

Floating in the haze that engulfed me.

Nearly there Bella. Stay with me until then please.

I heard him.

Darkness swirled at the edges of my mind. I did not care; somehow it brought my love closer to me. More so than when Laurent was going to kill me. Closer than riding my motorbike at high speed.

Greater than jumping from the crest of the mountain. My love, Edward would talk to me.

Cold water splashed over me, the black mist drawing back.

"Fuck. What's that!" It didn't totally bring me out of it. However, the blackness left me. Maybe next time.

Warmth floated around me as, in my stupor my arms were raised, clothes removed. I couldn't move my arms or legs. I was a hostage to the heroin.

My eyelids had swelled close.

Come back to me Bella, I am here.

His voice was still with me.

Never did I want to wake. He would not be there when reality stomped its way in.

Edward's POV.

The cold shower jolted her heart and breathing to a more regular beat. The drug was strong and still had its iron fingers entangled inside her.

Gently, I bathed the collected dirt off her skin. I took her dirty clothes, leaving her dressed in her damp underwear sleeping on the bed.

"Come back to me, Bella, I am here." Would she ever open her eyes? I had not seen the brown of them yet.

Lifting her from the cooling bath water, I laid her on the bed to sleep away the evil. I had to talk to her…once she was back.

She was still so beautiful. How had I ever left in the first place?

The main person Bella needed protecting from, was herself.

Moreover, I had left her with her own worst enemy.

Berating myself, I grabbed the dirty pile of clothing going to the laundry to wash.

"I'll be back soon OK love." I spoke to her sleeping face.

Bella's POV.

Dreams full of him. Edward caring and loving me.

Only dreams.

"I'll be back soon OK love." A man's real voice wafted into my ears.

Realizing where I was my eyes snapped open.

Franticly I summed up the situation. I was in my underwear in a hotel suite with a man. That is NOT how I fed my habit. I still had plenty of money from Charlie's Estate. He had only died two months ago. Plenty of money.

Shit, he would be back soon. Angry at not getting what he wanted, I couldn't face it.

If I had Edward back in my mind….

Scrambling in my bag, I found the small bag of heroin I had left over. Dribbling water into the white powder, I mixed the solution and drew it up into the syringe.

I had used under half in the alley, there was slightly more in this mix.

Footsteps clanked on the cement landing coming toward the door.

Oh no. The John.

I didn't want to see his face, if I was smashed I could pretend it was Edward. Maybe get out the other end. I really did not care anyway.

Jamming in the needle, the drug flowed into my vein.

Flowing over me the black mist invaded my mind. Closing in on me.

The door opened as I spun towards the door, falling.

Edward stood in the door.

Edward.

Edward.

Tentacles of death wove into my heart and soul. There was no light.

My love Edward stood before me as I slowly slid to the ground.

My tunnel vision growing smaller around his face.

"I love you Edward Cullen," I said.

Edwards POV.

There was rustling in the room. I heard it from the laundry and hurried to get to her.

Opening the door, she swung to face me.

Recognition.

For her--That it was I here. Really.

For me--That she had just killed herself.

She dropped to the ground. Her last words.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," Echoed in my heart.

I had not saved Bella. My own personal brand of heroin.

Thanks to Ms. Meyers for introducing me to the twilight universe and the characters. You own it all. If they were mine….I would be the rich one.

Now you read it, and if you have an opinion…hit the button below. It won't be here too long. I still am interested in reactions to this.