THE TANGO SONNY

disclaimer: {insert funny joke on how a fourteen year old girl can posibly own anything relevent to sonny with a chance and rent}

[Chad dylan cooper was desperately trying to fix the microphone for mackenzie falls. Sonny had promissed to help him fix it but she was late and he was starting to get very pissed off. Sonny and chad had been dating for months now. suddenly james conroy walked in.]

[Chad]

James?

[James]

Hi.

[Chad]

I told her not to call you

[James]

That's Sonny
But can I help since I'm here

[Chad]

I hired an engineer ...

[James]

Great!
Well, nice to have seen you

[Chad]

Wait!
She's three hours late
The samples won't delay
But the cable --

[James]

There's another way
Say something -- anything

[Chad (into the mike)]

Test -- one, two three --

[James]

Anything but that

[Chad]

This is weird

[James]

It's weird

[Chad]

Very weird

[James]

Fuckin' weird

[Chad]

I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you

[James]

Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

[Chad]

As a matter of fact --

[James]

Dude, I know this act
It's called the 'Tango Sonny'
The Tango Sonny
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling

[Chad]

You're wrong

[James]

Your heart she is mangling

[Chad]

It's different with me

[James]

And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

[Chad]

I think I know what you mean

[Both]

The Tango Sonny

[James]

Has she ever pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'

[Chad]

Never

[James]

Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

[Chad]

This is spooky
Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

[James]

Every time -- so be cautious

[Chad]

Did she moon over other boys --?

[James]

More than moon --

[Chad]

I'm getting nauseous
She cheated

[James]

She cheated

[Chad]

Sonny cheated

[James]

Fucking cheated

[Chad]

I'm defeated
I should give up right now

[James]

Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might

[Chad]

I'd fall for her still anyhow

[Both]

When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance
Make you fall

[James]

So you think, 'Might as well'

[Chad]

"Dance a tango to hell"

[BOTH]

'At least I'll have tangoed at all'
The Tango Sonny
Gotta dance till your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
Cause in the end -- you can't leave her
But the end it will come
Still you have to play dumb
Till you're glum and you bum
And turn blue

[James]

Why do we love when she's mean?

[Chad]

And she can be so obscene

[James]

Try the mike

[Chad]

My Sonny (reverb: ee, ee, ee...)

[James]

Patched

[Chad]

Thanks

[James]

You know -- I feel great now!

[Chad]

I feel lousy
[The pay phone rings. James hands it to Chad.]
Honey, we're... [pause] Pookie?!
You never call me Pookie...
Forget it, we're patched.

[He hangs up, looks at James.]

[BOTH]

The Tango Sonny!