A/N: My first fan fic. Based on Taylor Swift's song You Belong With Me.Please be merciful. UPDATED: EDITED
Disclaimer: don't own anything other than my imagination. Song belongs to Taylor & most characters to J.K.
Background:
It's the marauder's and Lily's 7th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. James has stopped asking Lily out. They have come to an agreement and have become close friends. James is with another girl. He is head boy and she is head girl.
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesn't get your humor like I do
Location: Head's common room
Time: 8 p.m. Friday
I am standing right outside my door watching the scene unfold before me. I can't count on my fingers how many times I have witnessed this again and again and I can't understand how he is STILL with her.
Any minute now, she will walk away. And there she goes, out of the portrait hole. But what saddens me the most is that James will go after her. And it's not even his fault they were fighting. She just takes his jokes too personally.
Anybody who knows James, knows about his jokes and that they should not take them personally but unfortunately the only person who doesn't seem to grasp this is Meagan, his girlfriend.
It's sad to watch my friend do this to himself but yet I can't stop staring. He runs his hands through his raven hair making it stand, if possible, more, which he only does when he is frustrated. His hazel eyes show regret and guilt but for something that is not even his fault. He always does this. Makes everyone's faults his own. He is too kind for her. He is now leaving the head's common room and probably going after her. I turn and step in my room. It hurts to watch.
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
Location: Lily's headroom
Time: 6 p.m. Tuesday
Right now I am in my headroom doing homework. It's Tuesday therefore I have a lot of Transfiguration homework. Transfiguration was never my best class so I am struggling and frustrated. Fortunately, I have my muggle radio on to help me calm down. Music always does that to me. It distresses me.
I am humming to one of my favorite songs when all of a sudden I hear my room door open. I turn and smile at the person standing there.
He looks great and I can't help but wonder how I never noticed. I must have been delusional. He is wearing his quidditch uniform and looks all sweaty. He probably just got out of practice but I don't care. It's how boys are and you can't change them. I don't see why Meagan pesters him every time she sees him like this. She says he stinks but I don't care. It's natural and human and manly.
He comes in my room, sits on my bed beside me, and looks over my shoulder while reading my transfiguration essay.
"You were never really good at transfiguration but lucky for you, I am" he says while giving me a teasing smile.
"Shut up." I reply back smiling. "I am glad you are good at this so now, help me." I shove the essay in front of his face. He reads it and makes a scandalized face. "It's atrocious" he says with a serious face. My smile fades but then I see the sparkle in his eyes and I can't help but laugh. He was just teasing me.
"Actually, you just need a few things" he says smiling at me. I include the things he tells me and when I'm done I look up and catch his gaze. We stare at each other for who knows how long and I can feel something in the pit of my stomach. I notice his eyelashes are long and his eyes are a mix of light browns and a little bit of green. Unfortunately for me, he breaks our gaze.
"Do you know this song?" he asks all of a sudden. He smiles and starts humming. "It's my favorite… Meagan hates it. She says it's too loud or something" At this, he looks down and his smile fades.
"Of course I know this song!! And it's also my favorite." I say trying to lighten up the mood. "I specially love the drum solo. I can't fathom how someone wouldn't like it. It's perfect."
He looks back up and smiles. "I know." After this we both smile and start singing to the song. I start playing my fake guitar and he plays the fake drums. When the song finishes, we both start laughing. All I can think about is how perfect this is and how lucky I am to have him as a friend.
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time
Location: Quidditch pitch
Time: around 11 a.m. Saturday
After that Tuesday, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Two weeks and five days have passed and I have come to accept a discovery I made just four days ago.
I had an epiphany and what an epiphany it was. I couldn't believe it but I have come to accept it. I figured out why I couldn't stop thinking about James Bloody Potter. I shouldn't be mad at him at all since it wasn't his fault but I don't know what to do other then accept it. And it sucks. Really bad. I, Lily Evans, am in love with James Potter.
I don't like, don't have a crush, I am not infatuated with him. Nope, unfortunately for me I got the worst thing possible, I fell in LOVE with my friend and there is nothing I can do. Why? Because you can't fall out of this type of love. Because I know this love will last me forever. It's not even friendly love like the one one has for their friends but instead is the girlfriend/boyfriend love. I guess the only thing for me to do is be there for him like friends should and hope for the best.
Right now I am getting ready to cheer him on at his first game of the season. It's against Slytherin. I am not a huge quidditch fanatic but when I do watch it, I get in the mood.
Right now, I am wearing my most comfortable jeans and a huge maroon t-shirt with the Gryffindor lion on the front and the team members' names on the back. I painted my face in maroon and gold. To others I must look ridiculous but I don't care because I am showing my Gryffindor pride and I am happy and comfortable.
I am walking towards the stands when I see him. And he sees me. He smiles while I walk toward him. I can't help but blush and feel ridiculous but his smile is all worth it.
"Good luck, James. We are so winning. Specially with you as captain." I tell him.
"Thanks Lily. We will. By the way, nice way of you to show your pride with the face paint and all. I know you don't come often to watch, but when you do, it's great for you to be here." He smiles back and I blush. All of a sudden he looks at something behind my back that makes his smile, if possible, grow.
I turn and immediately feel like shit. There she is. His girlfriend. She looks like a goddess. Her long, straight, brown hair is down and her blue eyes are shining. She is wearing a fitted shirt with the letters "Potter" written across her chest. She is wearing a jean miniskirt with black high heels. She comes over and kisses him full on the lips in front of me.
I just stand there and watch. I can't help but feel worthless with my ugly wavy RED hair, stupid green eyes that look like grass that are not even a normal green, awful face paint, and ugly clothes. When they are done eating each other's faces, he ruffles his hair and smiles sheepishly at her before she leaves wishing him good luck. He turns towards me smiling like a lunatic and I force out a smile just to make him happy. His friends call him, Sirius (he is beater) and Remus (he is keeper) because the game is about to start. He leaves me there after I say goodbye.
As I walk to the stands, I notice Meagan sitting at the front cheering for James like a girlfriend should do for his boyfriend. I find a spot way on the back and sit to watch and cheer. My Gryffindor pride has deflated a little but that doesn't stop me from cheering.
James scores and he blows a kiss to Meagan. I watch and can't help but wonder what it would feel like to have the greatest boyfriend.
Gryffindor won. James scored most of the points. Meagan runs to him and kisses him passionately while everyone whistles and cheers. I just watch and yearn to be her. But when she turns, she has this look. Like she is holding a huge trophy. She probably is since James is indescribable. But what irks me the most is that her look doesn't contain anything else, only pride, not even love.
There, I have another epiphany. Meagan is not with James because she loves or at least likes him. She is with him because it makes her look good. And I hate her for that.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Location: Gryffindor common room to Lily's room
Time: 9 p.m. same Saturday
The party in the Gryffindor common room is awesome. But I can't stay. Why, you ask. Because it hurts to watch the one you love kiss and dance with someone else that doesn't love him. I run to my room and do a thing I haven't done since my parents died, I cry.
I cry for this injustice. It's not fair that James is with her when she doesn't love him. I cry because James is too good for her and maybe for me too. Life is so unfair.
Walkin' the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin' to myself
Hey isn't this easy?
Location: outside of school by great lake
Time: noon, Sunday next week
I am sitting outside by the Great Lake reading one of my favorite books when I catch sight of him walking towards me. He looks very handsome. He is wearing muggle jeans with a shirt that brings out the color of his eyes behind his glasses and that accentuates his muscles. Oh hot damn. Life is good.
He sits next to me and we joke for a while laughing. All of a sudden we get quiet and I can't help but whisper to myself "Hey, isn't this easy?"
He smiles at me with his gorgeous boyish grin. He hears me and replies, "yeah, yeah it is."
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you fine I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?
Location: heads' common room
Time: around 7 p.m. Thursday
Just two days ago he had another fight with his girlfriend. Apparently, she doesn't trust him even though he hasn't give him a reason not to. I think she just looks for excuses to fight and make him grovel. I'd like to hex her but due to my respect for him I don't and I won't.
I've finally gotten him to smile after their argument and I can't help but feel powerful knowing that I made him do that. I love his smile because whenever he does, it's like a bug that bites everyone. Everyone smiles when he smiles and you are allowed to forget about the bad things in life for a while.
But his smile fades a little. "What's wrong James?" I ask worried.
"Nothing, I am just tired with the Quidditch practices and all" he says this and it almost sounds truthful but when I look at his eyes, I know he is just saying this to appease me. I frown but continue joking with him.
He stands up to leave to his room. When he is about to walk into his room, I ask myself quietly "why is he with her? He is too good for her."
He freezes for a second but I don't notice. He heard me but I don't notice. He continues into his room and closes the door softly.
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Location: head's common room
Time: 6 p.m. Saturday
It's another Saturday and he is going on a date with her. I am sitting on a couch reading. She comes into the common room and looks stunning. She is wearing her hair up, red high heels, and a black dress that reaches above her knees showing her long legs and that dips a little in the front showing enough cleavage to make a boy go crazy.
I envy her. While she is wearing that, I am wearing some baggy shorts, a t-shirt, some trainers, and my hair is up in a messy bun. I hate it. I look like crap. She makes me look like crap.
James comes out of his room and I want to cry as I see his reaction. His face looks like Christmas has come early. But I don't cry and it's all because of him.
He is wearing black slacks, and a button up shirt. I sigh sadly. He leaves without even looking back at me me. My eyes get wet but I won't cry because the tears won't make him come to me. I'll just suck it up and be there for him. If I can't be his girlfriend, then I'll be his best friend.
I wait in the common room for him to come back to ask him how it went like any good friend should. But he has not arrived and it's nearing 12.
I feel stupid for waiting knowing that he is probably not even coming. He is probably enjoying himself because everyone knows nobody stays up this late just snogging.
I stand up and leave to my room all the while cursing my heart for loving a person who doesn't love me back. And I think back to the days when he used to ask me out. I hate myself for telling him no and not getting to know him better. He could have been with me. And with those thoughts in mind, I put on my pajama pants and t-shirt to try to go to sleep.
Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.
Location: Lily's room
Time: 1 a.m. Sunday (next day)
I hear noises outside my room and sit up. There is a knock on my door. I stand up to open the door because I know who is outside. And like a good friend, I should be there when he wants to talk.
I open the door and he is standing there looking tired and like a lost puppy immediately making me forget about my problems and to start worrying about his. He comes in and sits on my bed. I follow suit.
"We had a fight… This one was the worse one yet." He sighs and looks down while he tells me all of this as if he were ashamed while I am fuming inside because I know pretty damn well it wasn't his fault they fought.
"You know how I don't like to talk about our arguments but this was the worst. I took her out for dinner and other stuff but she didn't seem interested." As he says this, I start to feel jealous but I work to calm myself down because this is his time, not mine.
"When she went to the bathroom, she took a really long time so I went to go check on her. I was worried. I found her talking to that John guy from Hufflepuff. Her lips were swollen and it wasn't because of me. I confronted her about it and she got mad. She got offended." At this point I was frowning.
"She thought I was accusing her of something to make myself feel better. And then she accused me of liking another girl. Of liking you. She called you some names and I defended you and told her I liked her." At this point, my heart is having an internal struggle. Part of it wants to break because he said me differently as if I was something people couldn't like. The other part wants to burst because he defended me. My eyes water while I avoid eye contact. I hold back the tears and burst out the first thing that comes out of my mouth or else I will cry. I force out a small encouraging smile.
"I could talk to her if you want me to." I curse myself in my head because talking to her is the last thing I want to do and it would do us both no good because I would hex her.
He looks at me, smiles a little, and replies, "No, it's okay. You've already done enough as it is by listening to me talk. And I thank you for that. I'll talk to her and apologize. We will probably go back to how we were anyways."
My heart decides to break but I ignore it and summon all my strength to smile and reply back. "Okay. You are welcome. After all, that's what friends do. They listen and help. And I hope you get together." At the last part my voice cracks but I force myself to keep on smiling even though it doesn't reach my eyes.
After that, we stayed up, talked, and joked around. I turned the radio on to listen to our favorite music while talking about anything to everything. We talk about our dreams and lives. While we talk, I can't help but think how much we have in common and how good we would be together. It's like he should be with me.
When we are done talking and our eyes are drooping, he wants to stay and sleep in my bed because he is too lazy to go to his own room but I don't let him. I know that if he slept in my bed, it would be hard to contain myself and not do something stupid. It would break my heart, even if we just sleep and do nothing more, to see him get up in the morning and leave to another person who isn't me.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Location: Great Hall
Time: around 6 p.m. Christmas
After our talk that night things are okay I guess. His relationship changed since that day. Things are tense with Meagan but they are still together. I still don't understand how he is still with her but I guess I never will. I have learned to deal with their relationship although that doesn't mean I haven't stopped loving him and that is that. He never told me what Meagan and him talked about. I am just happy he is happy.
Today, we are having a Christmas ball. James and I organized it for the 7th years. I was very excited to go in the beginning but nobody ever asked me to go with them so right now I am just trying to get ready to open the ball dancing (James and I have to do it) and then leave. I don't plan on staying any longer then necessary.
My friend Alice is going to wait for me with her date, Frank, near the Great Hall so I won't have to enter alone. I just finished putting makeup (very little might I add) and am now officially ready for a lonely nightmare.
As I walk towards Alice and Frank who are ahead of me and are facing the other way, I notice Meagan. She is wearing a beautiful light blue gown with corset that accentuates her figure very well. Her blue eyes sparkle and her hair is up in a pretty bun. I immediately feel like crap again. I look beside her expecting to find James by her side. Instead I find John (the guy James mentioned). Alice is also staring their way but does not look surprised.
"Alice, why is Meagan with John?" I ask concerned.
She is still looking their way when she answers. "Didn't you hear? James and her broke up this morning. Apparently things were too tense between them or something like that. I thought you knew. He is coming with the Lindsey girl instead, you know, the other blonde?"
"No, I didn't know. Poor James. I haven't talked to him because I have been occupied all day organizing last minute things. And yeah, I know her. She is pretty. As they all are." I sigh sadly.
"You always worry too much about him. And besides he didn't look sad when they broke up. He looked relieved and happy. He is already in the Great Hall by the way."
"Oh, okay then. You know Alice, you shouldn't have to wait for me. Go in there with Frank." I say to her nervously. The last place I want to be at is here.
"No Lily it's o…" she turns around and looks at me with eyes wide open and stops mid-sentence. "Oh, Lily…"
"What? I know I don't look great. I mean I barely put any makeup. I just put some of that stuff you bought me. What's it called? Oh yeah, mascara, eye shadow, and lip-gloss. I just curled my hair a little. And these gold heels are kind of tall. Although they do fit with the dress. And the dress is a little bit different but I didn't think it was that bad. Oh Alice. I messed up, didn't I?" I ask her with a worried look.
"Lily, you are rambling…"
"You know what? Tell James to open with Lindsey. She should know how to dance. I am leaving before I make a fool of myself."
"NO! Don't go. You are coming with us." Meanwhile Frank is on the side staring at me like I'm some… something.
"But then why were you staring at me like that? I feel awful and probably look awful too." I complain. I feel like I am about to cry of embarrassment until Alice says something unexpected.
"What?!! I was staring at you Lily that way because you look… look… gorgeous!" She squeals and looks at Frank for approval while he nods a yes. He still doesn't stop staring at me and I don't feel so good anymore but I grab all my Gryffindor courage and walk with them towards the Great Hall doors just to get this over with.
Once we enter the doors, I notice the beauty of the hall. It looks like a winter wonderland although I can't see much with Alice and Frank blocking me.
I also notice James with a pretty blonde on his arm talking to Sirius, Remus, Peter, and their dates. He is wearing dress robes that make him look very handsome and make me want to cry since I am not the one on his arm. Alice and Frank say goodbye because any minute now I have to open the ball with James.
As soon as they leave me in the view of everyone, the people near us go quiet and stare at me. I bite my lip nervously and beg the ground to open up and swallow me. I notice James is still talking facing the other way so I go up to him and tap him on the shoulder. "James, we need to open up." I say quietly afraid of attracting any more attention.
The people around us go quiet. I notice Sirius, Peter, and Remus who are looking my way stare. When James turns around, he stops and blinks rapidly. "Let's get this over with" I tell him desperately while trying to ignore the stares.
A/N: REVIEW please. If this goes well, I might write more and if it doesn't go well, I'll see what happens. Thank you. Part 2 coming. Constructive criticism much appreciated.