A/N: Oh wow. I don't know where this came from, but it obviously wasn't the better part of my brain that thought this up. Anyway, read, and hopefully enjoy. -crosses fingers-

Seifer. Seifer, Seifer, Seifer.

Since the incident in the bathroom (Seifer's amazing mouth and my erection; do the math), the annoyingly attractive prat was all that was on my mind. Was it love, lust, a stupid crush, or just my desperate teenage hormones? There were too many answers for what should have been a straight-forward question.

What the fuck did I feel about Seifer?

I knew that in my mind he was the most gorgeous thing to walk this earth. Despite his tendency to be a complete asshole, he was also the greatest person to walk this earth. Passionate, strong, controlled, and you wouldn't believe it, but, a mother hen. But I guess that was just reserved for his Chickenwuss.

God, had I just thought of that as an endearment or something? Chickenwuss? It was something that had followed me around, made my head hang low and hurt as deeply as Seifer's constant harassment ('Course, Mum had always called the harassment Seifer's version of 'pulling pigtails'). And what was with this his Chickenwuss business?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I needed to clear my head. I snatched my iPod off my desk and shoved the earbuds in my ears, stomping out of my bedroom to make sure Mum knew I was pissed, or frustrated, or just goddamn confused. We had a bit of trouble communicating sometimes.

"Hayner!" I heard her shout faintly over the roar of my music. "Be back by six!"

I paused briefly at the front door and shouted back, "Aren't I always?"

The only reply was a loud grunt as I marched out the front door. I breathed in the cool air, my shoulders relaxing. I cranked up the volume on my iPod and thrust it into my pants pocket, irritably blowing a strand of hair out of my face that had escaped its gel prison.

However much I tried, I couldn't get Seifer out of my head.

The amazing things he'd done flitted into my mind and I was unable to stop the smile that settled on my lips. I remembered the tingling, fireworks feeling when he first kissed me. Now I wished I'd clung to him and kissed him harder, instead of letting him peck my lips and walk away while I stared open-mouthed like a complete idiot.

Remembering the feeling of his fingers and mouth on me, I bit my lip and felt a stirring in my groin as heat bloomed in the pit of my stomach. I remembered the flirty conversations, and how I'd told him how big I thought it was, and how much I wanted to touch it. I didn't know what the fuck had gotten into me, but I hadn't lied. I wanted to touch Seifer more than anything. I wanted to run my fingers through that gorgeous, silky hair of his and touch his smooth, sculpted chest. I wanted to hear my name fall from those damn beautiful lips. I could just imagine his breathy moans as I kissed my way down his chest, threading my fingers through his hair...

Holy shit, it was a really bad time to get turned on. Walking down the street in plain sight of every person I'd known since birth. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and thought of that one time when Olette's Mum had put her homemade porn on by accident at Olette's tenth birthday. I shuddered in disgust and sat down harshly on crate near the tram line, hating myself for remembering that horrible image. However, my 'problem' seemed to have disappeared.

I shifted on the crate until I was comfortable. Without warning, my music cut out, everything around me falling eerily silent.

"Fuck!" I swore, wrenching my earbuds out of my ears. "Oh, it's okay, buddy. Just go fucking flat whenever you feel like it! S'not like I was listening to you or anything!" I shoved the useless device into my pocket, the earbuds violently wrenching from my ears.

A low chuckle sounded to my right and I swung my head to the side sharply, my eyes narrowing dangerously. Something in my gut tightened when I took in Seifer, fingers idly tugging on the threads on the worn edges of his beanie, a slight sneer on his face. The look quickly formed into an amused grin, as if I was god damn funny or something.

"Found a new enemy, lamer?" Seifer asked smugly, with that overconfident tone that made me either want to punch the moron in the face or snog the hell out of him.

"No, Seifer," I hissed. "Maybe if it pushed me out of my chair and then sucked me off, it might make my top ten list of 'things I hate this week'."

I might not of been the brightest kid around, but I didn't miss the way his face fell, and his lips formed a silent 'oh'.

"I didn't mean that," I said with a sigh, running my hand through my hair. It wasn't as neatly gelled as usual, and more strands were falling into my face, and sticking out in an irritating fuzz on the sides of my head. "I'm in a bad mood. I don't hate you, and er... the, thing was um, good."

"And pushing you out of your chair?" Seifer reminded me with a raised eyebrow.

"I guess you did kind of save me from a lot of humiliation," I admitted grudgingly. My eyebrows knitted into a frown. "But you still pushed me! There are better ways to wake a guy up!"

Seifer frowned back at me, but hints of pink were blossoming on his cheeks. "Lamer, you talk in your sleep," he said. His voice failed him half-way, and the whole thing sounded kind of awkward, at least until I processed what he'd said.

"Shit!" I clenched my fist tight, feeling my fingernails digging into my palm. I knew it was too good to be true. He heard me. Seifer had always been manipulative, but I'd never thought him capable of using me, especially when he found out like that. "Is that why you did it? You think you can fucking use me just because you know how I feel about you?"

Seifer's eyebrows furrowed even further, a dangerous glint in his narrowed eyes.

"That's not why!" he hissed back at me. "Holy fuck, Hayner, you're so thick!"

His denial was making me even more pissed off, my voice rising angrily. I no longer cared about the possiblity of watching neighbours. I really had feelings for Seifer. He'd been giving me mixed signals since that first Saturday he'd come to the Usual Place. How could I have thought he really liked me?

"Just thought you could get something from me?" I shouted at him. "'Oh, what's that I'm standing on? Lamer's heart? Who gives a shit, at least I got a fuck out of it!'"

"Shut the fuck up, lamer! Just listen for once!" Seifer demanded, his hand closing tightly around my wrist as he stepped closer.

"I'm not some thing, Seifer! What the hell—"

"I love you!"

All words failed me as I gaped at him, my eyes wide and my hands falling loose at my sides. "You... love me?" I repeated.

"That's what I just said, isn't it?" he snapped.

I suddenly realised what position we were in. I was still sitting on the crate, but Seifer was standing rather close, between my legs, with a death grip on my wrist.

I forced myself to breathe. Seifer was in my bubble. Seifer who loved me was in my bubble.

Shit, Seifer loved me!

"I'm sorry," I blurted out. "God, I was just... Someone like you actually liking someone like me. It was..."

"Incomprehensible?" Seifer offered dryly. "Lamer, there are many things I like about you. Your volcabulary is not one of them."

Stricken by a sudden urge, I wound my arms around his neck and brought us as close together as I could. I pressed my lips to his tentatively, my trembling fingers brushing the skin at the back of his neck. Feeling a shiver pass through his body, I pulled back and watched his face closely.

"Like my vocabulary now?" I teased. "'Cause right now I really like your blush."

"Seifer Almasy doesn't blush," Seifer replied easily. He smoothed a strand of hair on the side of my head, and kissed me for a few short moments. I tightened my arms and melted into him, unable to stop the sigh that rolled from my lips when he pulled away lazily and smiled.

"That was sickening," I whispered. He opened his mouth to speak, but I pressed my finger to his lips and shook my head. "I'm still a little confused, Seifer. But I think I feel the same way about you. Can you just give me some time?"

"Chickenwuss," Seifer said with a smirk. "Sure, take all the time you want. As long as you're still interested in how big it is."

I didn't have to be a genius to know what he was talking about.

"Mmm," I hummed, tucking my fingers into the collar of his shirt. His breath hitched and I shot him a smirk of my own. I pressed myself into him and said in a long, almost moan, "Really interested." Seifer licked his lips, his eyelids fluttering. He looked really beautiful like that.

And damn.

Maybe I was in love with Seifer.

Upon arriving back home, my inner monologue had finally silenced. The only sound I heard as I closed the door softly behind me was the faint buzz of the television in the lounge room. I pulled my iPod from my pocket and sat it on the dining room table as I passed through, my fingers trailing along the wall to the lounge room. Mum saw me and reached for the remote, flicking the television off.

"Mum?" I said, wincing at the volume of my voice in the thick silence.

"You look kind of flushed, honey," said Mum as she stood up, meeting me half-way on my walk to the couch. She placed her hand on my head and frowned.

"I'm fine," I told her hurriedly. "There's just..." I paused and took a deep breath. She didn't even know I was gay, let alone that I had feelings for Seifer, of all people.

"What is it?" Mum asked, her eyes widening and concern creeping onto her face.

"I have something to tell you," I blurted out in one breath. "Something, uh, pretty big."

Mum nodded wordlessly and returned to the couch, sitting down on the cushion furthest to the right. I gripped the couch tightly as I skirted the arm to take a seat at Mum's side.

"Go ahead," Mum told me, lacing her fingers together in her lap. I fiddled with the hem of my shirt and looked at my hands, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip harshly.

I found the courage to look up, and met her eyes, my fingers clutching my shirt tightly. I considered a long speech, to soften the blow. I opened my mouth but could find no words, my mouth closing again with a frustrated clench of my teeth. Mum waited patiently, and I felt a rush of gratitude.

"Mum," I began shakily. "Don't be mad. Shit, please don't be mad." I could see her about to speak, so I continued in a hurry to cut her off. "I'm gay. I'm definitely gay, and definitely in love with Seifer. Wait, that's a maybe. I'm maybe in love with Seifer."

Mum raised an eyebrow. "But definitely gay?" she asked.

I nodded. "I know the Seifer thing is kind of insane," I tried to explain. "But he's just fucking... amazing." I breathed in sharply, regretting my choice of words.

"Calm down, Hayner," Mum said sternly. "You're going to give yourself a heart attack. I'm fine with it. Really, I was beginning to have my suspicions anyway, dear. It's not that big of a surprise."

I bit back a protest and forced a smile instead. "And Seifer?" I reminded her meekly.

"As long as he's good to you, and you use protection," Mum said, grinning at my indignant squeak, "It's no big deal. You're still you to me, okay? I'll always love you, so calm down."

She placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I tried to calm my trembling body and the burning heat in my face.

"Now, tell me about Seifer," Mum demanded with a wide grin. I laughed at her eagerness and found myself feeling suddenly more comfortable.

"Like I said, he's amazing," I replied, unable to stop the small smile tugging at my lips. I inwardly winced at my own lack of masculinity, but I allowed it this once. Mum wouldn't tell anyone. "His hair feels great. You'd think it'd be all scruffy and stuff, since he's always wearing that beanie, but it's soft."

"Do I want to know how you know this?" Mum asked. I was worried for a moment, but then she flashed me a knowing smile and I grinned in response.

"You really don't," I said.

"Does he feel the same way for you?" Mum wanted to know. She was quick with the questions; I was caught off guard with each question she sprung, and I could do nothing but blurt the turth.

"Yes," I answered. My gut fluttered spectacularly as I remembered his love confession. "He loves me." The words sounded strange as I spoke them, awkward almost. They also felt comforting, a swell of warmth gathering in my stomach, and my chest feeling unusually light. I had a feeling I could get used to them.

I jolted violently as Mum launched herself at me suddenly, her arms closing around my waist in a tight hug. "I'm happy for you," she told me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, returning the hug.

"Thank you. I was so scared to tell you," I murmured.

"You should've trusted me, stupid," she snorted in reply. I snickered and tightened my hold, feeling at ease finally.

Shit, I thought, struck by a sudden realisation. I still have to tell Roxas.