Well guys, here it is. A chapter we've all been waiting for. We finally get some insight into Bella's past. This is a heavy chapter, it took a lot out of me to write. That, and the fact that it's half past midnight (: Couple things before we begin:

1. I've been looking for a Beta for some time now, but I'm kind of confused on how to get one. I mean, I know how, but it feels kind of awkward to me to just pick a stranger from a list and ask them to look over my stories. To me, my stories (before I put them up on here) are personal, and I only trust a few people with them, cause I get really protective of them. So, I need your guys help. Are any of you Betas, or know a Beta, or have a Beta, who'd be willing to help me? If you know of someone, let me know in a review, or send me a message. (:

2. I keep forgetting to mention that I have a twitter! My twitter name is SoAdorkable. Due to some things, you have to follow me to see my tweets. So if you want some juicy little teasers and stuff, follow me! I also have a tumblr. My username on that is adorkaboo. So far there isn't much stuff on it, but I plan to add more soon.

Now, let's begin! Enjoy!

WARNING: This chapter deals with mature content, such as murder and rape. If you do not wish to read this, please skip any words that are italicized. The story will still make sense for the most part, so you don't have to worry about missing any plot details. Though, if you skip it and are confused, don't be afraid to shoot me a message on here, and I'll fill you in. (:

Time passed quickly from there.

We'd both realized that we'd gotten a little swept away in this romantic fantasy, and now needed to return back to reality. Edward spent most of his days focusing on his new novel, the deadline slowly creeping up on him and him with less than nothing written due to my arrival. I left him alone to work, knowing he needed to concentrate. While he was working, I managed to get myself a job at a local bookstore, working part time to make a little money on the side. I was determined to pay him back for the clothes, and he couldn't stop me.

It was hard to say what we were, Edward and I. We'd never talked about it, but I knew there was something. Something that made me smiles when he walked into a room. Something that made me giddy like a schoolgirl. I'd suppose he was my boyfriend, but that sounded like such a juvenile term for it. It didn't feel like something as silly sounding as a boyfriend. It was more. It felt like it was so, so much more.

The store was particularly busy, and I was scrambling to restock the shelves as fast as they were being emptied. I pushed the wooden cart around the small store, while also trying not to crash into people. And I was failing miserably. I was pretty sure I'd pissed off half of the customers with my clumsy maneuvering. I shot the owner, Jacob, an apologetic look, but he smiled and nodded, going back to checking people out at the register.

Eventually, the pace slowed, and I was able to restock slower and take my time. Though, that seemed to be even more disastrous. I made the mistake of walking backwards though the shelves, and bumped into a display of books. Some tottered, and fell to the ground unceremoniously. I grumbled and knelt down to gather the fallen items.

"Jeez Bella, do I need to make you wear a helmet to work?" Jake snickered from behind, bending over to help me with the rest of the books.

"Sorry, Jake," I murmured, "I'll pay for whatever's damaged." I ducked my head, looking at the books in my hand for any bends or damage.

"Don't worry about it, they look just fine. When you told me you come with a warning label when I hired you, I didn't think you were serious!" He chuckled, looking into my eyes. I offered a tight smile and returned his eye contact. I could tell Jake had feelings for me from the way his eyes lingered just a little too long. But he knew I was…off-limits…so to speak, when Edward came to pick me up from work everyday. A more genuine smile poked at the corners of my mouth when I thought of the magical time at 4 when he'd burst through those doors and take me home. Home. Yes, that's what it felt like to have one again.

"Bella? Yoo-hoo!" He waved a hand in front of my face, and I fell out of my Edward-induced trance, coming back to the present.

"Sorry! What? I zoned out." Jake rolled his eyes and stood, putting the books he was holding on the cart for me to file.

"About Edward?" He asked bluntly. My eyes widened and a blush crept up my cheeks, which only proved that he was right.

"How did you…?"

"Oh, just a guess." His eyes held a foreign look, and he gave me a tight smile. "Keep workin'. I think it'll be smooth sailing for the rest of the day." He turned and walked away, going into his office in the back and shutting the door. I sighed. Edward would not be happy if I got fired for the sole reason of rejecting my boss' advances. But Jake wouldn't do that, he was cool. Except when Edward was there.

Shaking my head, I decided to do an extra good job, to cover my ass, just in case. I stood, turning back to my card. I piled on the newly fallen books, resolving to get to those last, since they'd be the easiest to sort. I picked up one that I'd had before. Belladonna by Karen Moline. Huh, strange…there seemed to be a little white scrap sticking out of it. Jake never sold previously owned books…so who couldn't put something there? I'd read somewhere that authors like to put little signed notes into their own books at random bookstores, could that be what it was? I pulled out the little white scrap, unfolded it, and read it. And my whole world froze.

You should read this book, my sweet…all about revenge.

I know I did.

That sweater looks lovely on you, by the way.

I'll be watching.

Love, J

My breath hitched and I felt my chest constricting, trying to get air. Forgetting of my surroundings, I sunk to the ground, feeling like a huge weight was on my chest. I couldn't think. I could breathe. I crushed the paper into my hands, not wanting to see it. Tears came easily flowing down my cheeks. I was shaking, trembling, and I felt dizzy. I recognized the signs of a panic attack, and I felt helpless as tried to get air.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed there, on the ground. It could've been minutes, hours. All I could think of was that night and him and what he did. He was here. Watching me. He knew where I was! He knew where I worked! He could easily come and get me…and…and…

A voice broke through my fog. "Whoa, whoa there, Bella. Take it easy, calm down. Let's get you into the back." I was being lifted, touched. I started to scream, but he covered my mouth, shushing me. The panic worsened as I was being carried by something unfamiliar, foreign. It could be him. I tried to talk, but I couldn't get words out, my breaths to shallow to make any sound.

Then I was on something soft, a couch maybe? I curled into myself, the fog worsening as the memories shot through my head like daggers. The assault was repetitive. It was like my brain was a broken record, playing the same memory over and over. And every time, ,it never failed to scare the living shit out of me. "Calm down, Bella. Take breaths, deep breaths. That's it, you're doing it, good girl." The voice was fading as the panic was rising, and my breaths became short again. "Shit. Oh, thank god you're here."

"What's going on here?" Another foreign voice said, farther away.

"I found here like this, man. I don't know what to do. Does she get attacks like this a lot?"

"Only once." The second voice stopped and soon I was being gathered into the arms of something. I struggled crying out for it to stop, but the voice spoke calmly, keeping me firmly planted in his arms. "Shh…sweet Bella…it's me…Edward…you're okay…you're going to be okay." Edward. Edward. Oh, sweet Edward. That was the only coherent though that broke through my fog. Edward. Edward's here. The memories were still assaulting me, and I clung to him tightly, crying and trying to breathe at the same time.

He rubbed small circles into my back "Breath, sweet girl…deep breaths…that's it…there you go Bella…" He whispered into my hair as I finally was able to start breathing correctly again. "Come back to me love…" The fog cleared, and I was able to crack my eyes open and see that I was in Jacob's back room. Jacob. He was the one carrying me first. And I struggled and screamed through the store. I must've scared all of the customers away. Embarrassment washed through me, and I curled up into Edward. The panic left my nerves fried, and I trembled as I cried, staining Edward's shirt with my tears.

"You're here…with me…everything's fine…come on, love. Let's get you home." I nodded wordlessly as he carried me out of the store, nodding to Jacob in appreciation. I hugged my torso, feeling a hole in my chest as I thought back. Edward was whispering things to me, but I couldn't hear them. My mind was far away, back to the night that changed my life.

"I like it."

"Oh, come on, Bella! A little more enthusiasm needed! This is my fragile teenage psyche we're talking about." I snorted and we both shared a laugh.

"Ang, I'm sure Ben will love it. I've seen the way he looks at you. All googley eyed and smiley. He'd be happy if you were wearing only a paper bag."

"He probably would, it'd be easier to take off." She wiggled her eyebrows conspiratorially and stepped back into the changing room. "You should get a dress too, Bella."

"Why would I get a dress?" I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Cause of your hot date with Mike this Friday." I snorted. Mike had asked me out –again-, and I'd refused for probably the fifteenth time. She knew that I wasn't going and she was just teasing me about it because she knew it got under my skin. Yet, I'd agreed to go dress shopping with her because she knew I was the only honest opinion she'd get. As she put it, taking our friend Jessica Stanley would be just like taking a sign that said 'Ohmigosh sooooooo cute!'.

"Yeah, just who I wanted to go with." Mike had shamelessly been trying to get me to go out with him since we were freshmen. Though I'd politely declined numerous times, he hadn't taken the hint yet. You'd think by the time we were already packing for college, he would get a clue, but…

"That's it. I'm buying it. Don't talk me out of it now Bella. I look hot. End of discussion." I grinned and held my hands up in surrender. Over the years, Angela and I had grown really close, and I could safely call her my best friend.

We left the store, Ang carrying a garment bag, and me carrying a bag of my own, after finding a nice shirt in the previous store. We got a bite to eat, and piled into Angela's car to make the long trip home.

"Can you believe it, Bella? We're going off to college. It seems like just yesterday it was the first day of freshmen year." Angela said to me as we were driving.

"I know. It's pretty…. crazy. And you, you're practically engaged!" I grinned at her and she blushed, but we both knew it was true. We settled into easy chatter on the way home, passing the time with that and blasting the stereo and singing badly. Pretty soon, she'd pulled up to my house. Charlie's cruiser was parked, and so was Mom's car. I idly wondered what they'd done for dinner, because neither of them could cook.

"We have to hang out again before we go to college. I'm never gonna see you!" Angela and Ben were both set to go off to college together in Oregon, and I was going to University in Seattle.

"Of course." I agreed, giving her a hug and sliding out of her car with by bag. I waved as she drove off, and then turned to my house. Hm, that was strange. The door was open a crack. I stepped in and looked around, taking off my shoes. "I'm home!" I called, but received no response. Strange…I turned my head to our living room. Though the couch was turned away from me, I did see Mom's feet sticking out from on end, and her head on the other. Had she fallen asleep on the couch? That's unusual, she said she hated sleeping on couches…

I stepped towards the couch to wake her "Mom." I said loudly, but she didn't stir. Rolling my eyes, I stepped to the front of the couch to shake her.

A scream fell from my lips at the sight. Mom was lying on the couch, all right, but there was a gaping, bloody gash in her chest. Tears rushed from my eyes, and I screamed at her, shaking her roughly now "Mom, wake up. You have to wake up! Mom! Wake UP!" But it was no use. She was already cold.

"She's gone." A light voice said from behind me. A voice I didn't recognize. I turned slowly. A grizzly looking man stood there. He had a smirk on his face, and a knife in his hand.

"What did you do?" I screamed, fury pulsing through me at that point. I wanted to charge at this man, but the knife he was holding was preventing that.

"Well, I couldn't let them get in my way, could I? Then how would I get to you…?" My eyes widened. Them. He said Them.

"Where's Charlie?" I demanded, taking a step towards him. He gave a carefree smile and pointed in back of him using the knife "Kitchen."

I stumbled forewords, not caring, wanting to see Charlie. I screamed out, seeing that he'd seen the same fate as Renee. His eyes were open, glazed over, and he was lying in a pool of blood. Tears cascaded down my cheeks. Suddenly arms were wrapped around me, and I was being pulled to the wooden floors. The man pinned me down, and I tried to struggle away, screaming as loud as I could. "Well, can't have anyone finding us, now can we?" He pulled something out of his pocket, two little pills. He popped them in my mouth, plugged my nose so I couldn't breathe, and covered my mouth so I couldn't spit them out. "Swallow it." He hissed. I tried to keep my breath for as long as I could, but he was sitting on my stomach, and I was starting to feel dizzy. I swallowed them. He smiled at me, and removed his hands.

I kept screaming, but whatever he'd given me was making my limbs feel like lead. My voice soon failed me too, as I started feel numb and lethargic. I couldn't move at all. He laughed, taking me into his arms. "I've wanted you for so long, my sweet…" He laughed and started unbuttoning my shirt "I've been planning this for so long….trying to make it perfect…now you're 18, we can be together…" It went on like that for an eternity. He would tell me he loved me, and he kissed and touched and did whatever the hell he wanted to with me. Once he was done, he zipped his pants up and held me close. I cried, tears streaming down my cheeks, wishing someone would find us, someone would help me…"We can be together forever…forever…"

"Bella, Bella sweetie we're home." I was jarred out of my half conscious state by Edward, bending forewords and picking me up from the car, carrying me inside. His arms felt right around me, and I snuggled into them, feeling secure and at home in them.

He brought me into my room, and laid me on the bed. He moved to leave, telling me to get rest. I grabbed his hand tight, eyes wide. "Please don't leave me." It came as just barely a whisper, but I could tell by the look on his face that he'd heard it. Without a second thought, Edward climbed into bed with me, holding me in his arms. I started crying, grieving all over again. He was still out there, and he was looking for me. No, he'd found me. He probably knew I was here, with Edward. My heart dropped. Edward. If he knew were I was, then he knew I was with Edward. I couldn't let Edward get hurt. I couldn't. If something happened to him…. it'd be all my fault. My crying must've grown louder, for Edward started rocking me, shushing me gently. I buried my face in his neck, needed to touch him, smell him, see him, to make sure he was still here with me. I would not let him hurt my Edward.

"Bella…sweetie…" Edward murmured to me some time later, after I'd, for the most part, calmed down. "What happened to you?" I knew what that question meant. He wasn't talking about what'd happened at the bookstore. He wanted to know what had happened back then, what made me like this. What made me want to die.

I took a deep breath and looked into his emerald eyes, and begun to tell him of the murders of my parents.

I hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas, and I hope you all have a very Happy New Year! I'll see you all in 2011! (: