Chapter Three: Philadelphia

Peter was careful to be quiet when he came into the tent later that morning, but Edmund, his senses heightened after his ordeal with the witch, shot up in terror. Peter was alarmed when he saw the look on his face.

"Ed?" he asked, stunned, and Edmund fairly shook with relief. "Are you all right?"

Edmund nodded and turned away, swiping at his eyes. Peter sat staring at him in disbelief. What had the witch done to him? Just as he was about to go back outside to give Edmund some time to himself, he noticed his brother's shoulders begin to shake.

"Ed," he began.

"I'm fine," said Edmund, determined to be stoic. And Peter, who knew something about schoolboy bravado, simply sat down beside him. Edmund held together quite well for several minutes, but eventually his courage gave way to the weight of all he had done and all that had been done to him, and he began to sob. His brother sat beside him until he had cried all his bitter tears, and was good enough not to say anything when Edmund hid his face in Peter's tunic and soaked it through.

When he was done, Edmund sniffed once and set his shoulders, and Peter smiled kindly at him. Edmund realized that though he had been forgiven he had not yet said the words, "I'm sorry," (except to Aslan). And when he had dried his face and apologized properly to Peter (and Peter had said not to mention it), he went and apologized to the girls. They smiled and hugged him and said they were quite glad to have him back, and if they noticed that his face looked damp they never said so. Then Edmund went back to the boys' tent to think, and left the others to themselves.

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Eventually Peter came back, but wisely said nothing. He only tousled Edmund's hair affectionately and started a game of chess, which he promptly lost, much to his own amusement. Edmund was delighted but he tried hard not to be smug.

For a long time afterward Peter looked hard at him, and Edmund began to fiddle uneasily with a chess piece.

"Ed," said Peter resolutely, when Edmund could hardly stand to be looked at any longer.

Edmund exhaled nervously across the chessboard. He had suspected this might be coming. He was only glad that Peter had not decided to tell him off in front of Aslan and the girls. Whatever Peter said to him, he intended to stand and take it. He did hope he would not start bawling again. He did not like to cry. He liked it much less when others saw him cry, and still less when Peter did. But he knew he would deserve whatever his brother said to him.

Peter took the chess piece from him, and Edmund ducked his head. But the reprimand never came.

"Edmund, look at me." Peter's voice was firm but gentle. It was almost the way he spoke to Lucy, and Edmund looked up in surprise. Peter swallowed. "Ed- I'm sorry."

Edmund was astounded.

"What?"

"I shouldn't have been so hard on you. If I hadn't, you might never have-"

"What!" said Edmund, louder this time. "No! I did everything myself." It was difficult to look at Peter now, but he did. "Perhaps you made me angry, but I wouldn't have been angry if-if I hadn't been trying to best you all the time. I-I betrayed you all. And I meant to," he added in a much smaller voice. "I wanted to be better than all of you. I… wanted to make you my servants."

It sounded terribly petty now, and Edmund clamped his mouth shut and stared at the table, not sure whether he felt more or less wretched for saying it.

Peter sat back and stared at him, and Edmund began to fidget, wondering if he had not said too much. But Peter's eyes were understanding when he dared to meet them.

"Well," said Peter finally, "Aslan said not to speak of it."

"But Peter," began Edmund. Perhaps all had been forgiven, but he felt that none of them had escaped danger yet.

"What's done is done," said Peter firmly. He stood up and clapped Edmund on the shoulder. "I don't suppose you'll do it again."

Edmund shook his head violently, and Peter grinned.

"Come on then," he said cheerfully, "Let's go and find the girls. I expect it's time for lunch."

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Hours later, Edmund stood looking out across the vast field, lost in thought.

"Hi, Edmund!"

He turned around to find his older sister beside him.

"There you are!"

Susan held out some clothes to him, and he started when he saw that they were like the ones his siblings wore.

"I don't deserve those," he mumbled to the grass. "I'm hardly much of a Narnian."

"Oh I don't know," said Susan, knocking him lightly with her elbow. "I think you'll make a fine Narnian."

Edmund blushed, and Susan laughed sweetly.

"Anyway," she said brightly, "it's Aslan who had them made for you." Edmund stepped back in surprise. He thought it over for a while, and then looked up at her, troubled.

"Su, do you think-"

Susan put a hand on his arm.

"I think Aslan knows what He's doing," she interrupted, smiling genuinely at him.

Edmund looked into her freckled face, so like his own, and marveled at her. Susan smiled softly, and he gave her a half a smile in return. He decided that she meant it. He took the clothing from her carefully, still not quite certain it was a thing he ought to do, and sat down on the grass, his fingers running over the strange material thoughtfully.

Susan, who had meant to go back up the hill for supper, looked as though she wanted to pull him up and bring him along with her. But she considered him thoughtfully and stopped herself just in time.

"Come up when you're ready," she said quietly. "We'll be waiting."

And Edmund looked long across the grassland to where the Lion stood watching.

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The boys did not return to their tent until after sunset. And when the girls came in to say good night, they saw a strange, sad, honest look upon Edmund's face; the same he had worn after speaking with Aslan that morning. Susan reached out to him, but Lucy had already climbed into his lap and flung her arms about him, clutching at his new tunic.

Peter and Susan stared at each other, unsure of what to do. Edmund had not allowed anyone to touch him in so long, and they felt sure he was quite done with the allowances he had made that morning. They hoped he wouldn't do anything mean. But Edmund did not move; indeed, he hardly seemed to breathe.

Lucy could not keep herself from kissing his cheek and crying. She was careful of the bruise beside his eye, but when she pulled back she traced his face with trembling fingers.

"Oh, Ed," she whispered, heartbroken. "What happened to you?"

Edmund, who did not know what to do with weeping sisters, could only shake his head. This set Lucy off crying again, and she buried her face in his tunic until she fell asleep, lulled by the steady sound of his heart beating against her ear.

This time the girls could hardly bear to leave him; Peter and Susan sat up talking with him long into the night, until they were all too tired to keep their eyes open and Peter said they must all go to sleep. But when Susan woke Lucy to put her to bed, she clung to Edmund fiercely.

"You'll both hurt your necks, sleeping like that," said Susan, as she felt he ought to be reminded. But she smiled and made no more attempts to separate them.

"'S all right," said Edmund slowly, taken aback. "I guess she's not really hurting me."

And Peter sighed and shook his head and said they might as well stay. And Susan, who had not really wanted to leave either, felt relieved. She smiled around at them all and lay down; feeling that at last all was beginning to be set right.

And they all fell asleep on the floor, the moonlight casting a lion-shaped shadow in the doorway of the tent.

Fin.