Brave

Disclaimer: I do not own anything connecting to Criminal Minds and the quotation is from "Brave" by Idina Menzel

Summary: Emily needs to be brave because she has to face one of her biggest fears. [Morgan/Prentiss]

Enjoy!!!

"This is the moment I stand here all alone
With everything I have inside, everything I own
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last time before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave."

It was dark. It was cold. And it was raining. Hard.

But Emily Prentiss didn't mind any of it. In fact she welcomed it. In the dark she felt safe. She felt invisible. There were no expectations. No judgements. Nobody could see her disheveled appearance and her puffy eyes and nobody could discern the shaking of her soaked body.

If anybody had seen her in the dark, they would have seen only another figure, who was determined to get to her destination no matter what. A figure, who was shivering because of the cruel wind which was mercilessly blowing the ice-cold rain into her face. And if they had been to see her face, too, they wouldn't have been surprised to see it flushed and her eyes bloodshot.

No. They hadn't given a second thought about her appearance.

However, the truth was completely different. But she was not ready to face it. So she welcomed the cold wind with its cruel attacks because this way she had something to hide behind. She had the wind to blame for the shivers that attacked her body and the rain for her wet face. It was just natural in a weather like that.

She had been walking in the streets of Washington for about an hour like somebody who is going somewhere. But, in fact, she had no idea where to go or where she was at that moment at that. There was only one thing she knew: she didn't want to go home. Home. If she wanted to be honest with herself, she did want to go home. Just not to her apartment.

She had a place like that. She had it up until today. She had a place to go when she didn't want to be alone… when she needed somebody to listen to her, to cheer her up… when she felt the need for human contact… when she wanted to feel loved.

Loved. She never felt truly loved. At this realization she crossed her arms tightly in front of her hugging herself while real sobs began to shake her. She couldn't hide behind the weather any longer. She couldn't stay in denial in front of herself, either.

She thought that she could live alone, that she didn't need anybody. From a very young age she learnt how to live like that. She had to learn it. And with time she accepted it. That was her life… that made her what she was today. One of the best agents in the Bureau. And she was proud of it.

And yet, at that moment she was standing in a street, only God knows where, leaning against a building sobbing like a little child.

At that moment she couldn't lie any longer. She had to face the truth.

But she was afraid of it. More than anything. It terrified her.

It terrified her because it would shake her life from the very foundation of it… and she wasn't sure that she could hold it together. Not alone at least.

But again, she was alone because she hadn't been able to be honest with herself. And as it was, with him, either. She could still hear his somewhat angry voice from that day.

"Emily, I can't do this anymore. I… I gave so much into this relationship that even I couldn't imagine myself capable of… but you… I wanted it so much to work. But it won't if I'm the only one who wants this. Sorry."

He was ready. He was brave enough to change his life… to commit… to leave his past behind and face a future. A future which was, in her opinion, too risky. But it was so good to be with him… so good to feel loved. Because with him, now, standing in the cold street feeling empty, she realized, she truly felt loved.

She crouched down next to the damp building she was leaning to. She felt tired. So tired… and so cold.

Was she really that cold inside, too? Was it the reason he broke up with her?

She stayed crouched next to the building with a blank expression on her face. Sometime later she realized that the rain had stopped. And with that came another realization. Her face was still wet. She tentatively reached up to her cheek and touched it. When she brought her wet finger in front of her to look at them, a smile appeared on her face.

She was really crying.

She choked through her smile as more tears appeared on her face. She was crying.

And at that moment she knew. She knew that she couldn't go back to her life. After all one thing was for sure. She wasn't a coward. And God, she had been acting like one for too long! She had to face reality. Even if she was terrified of it.

She stood up and pulled her coat tighter around her. It was too cold and she didn't want to feel cold. Not anymore.

She quickly caught a cab and after about 15 minutes she was standing in front of his door.

Her hand was shaking as she reached for the bell.

She was so afraid of this whole thing. But she had made a decision and after all the greatest bravery of all is if we face our fears, isn't it?

As the door opened, she took a large breath to compose herself. She could do it.

"Emily?" He asked, not annoyed just a little bit confused. It might be because of the late hour that she decided to visit. "Are you alright?" He sounded concerned after he had taken in the way she looked in her soaked cloths.

She took a step to get closer to him and at that moment she felt the bravest person on Earth.

"Derek. I just want you to know that… I… I love. I really do."

And when she saw the smile that appeared on his face, she knew that no matter how hard it is, it was worth being brave.

THE END

Well, I hope it made sense…