I've recently been rereading One Piece (just now, in fact!), and this thought occurred to me. And even though I didn't want to, I made myself write something about it because let's face it, otherwise I ain't gonna be posting anything for a while. I was kind of hoping it would spur a writing streak. Guess I'll see.

Anyway, I honestly don't know whether I was intending this to be ZoSan or not. It happened as it happened, so it's really whatever the stupid muses wanted. Or whatever you want, dear sweet reader.

Look out for gratuitous language and don't step in the OOC. Figuratively, of course.

No es mio, compadre.

It was a day long after their first meeting that Sanji realized something.

"Che. Shitty swordsman. Can't go a day without losing a gallon of blood. Maybe it's some sort of freaky fetish."

Nami and Robin both looked up at him.

"I mean, shouldn't he know by now how to avoid getting that injured? I know he's a moron, but even monkeys can learn that sort of thing." Sanji took an angry pull of his smoke, staring out at the ocean. "Sharp pointy thing hurt, make red go all over. Bad! Pah."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sanji noticed the girls sharing one of those secretive female smiles that meant something, but he'd be damned if he could ever figure out just what.

"Oi, don't talk shit about people just because they're stronger'n you are." Zoro approached, bandaged and fresh from his post-near-fatality nap. He yawned, scratching at his scalp, and then threw out a contemplative "Fuckface". Sanji bristled.

"Don't let all that blood-loss go to your stupid marimo head. What dumbass world are you living in where the guy who comes out of the fight intact is weaker than the asshole who got himself a couple'a new body piercings?"

Zoro's mouth stretched in a slow tiger smile. "Dunno, the one where I got injured in the first place when I jumped in to save your bony ass from gettin' knifed?"

Sanji had a passing urge to put his cigarette out in Zoro's eye. As if he hadn't known that those stupid marines had gotten behind him… Luffy popped his head out of the galley at that very moment, though, completely ruining the comeback Sanji had been on the verge of coming up with. Oh, but it would have been scathing.

"Hey Saaaaaanji, is it time for dinner yet? I made sure to eat everything except for what you were gonna use for dinner, but I'm still hungry, so could you start making it? That fight earlier really took a lot out of my stomach."

Sanji stared at him. "What do you mean everything except for what I was gonna use for dinner? I didn't tell you what I was going to make."

Luffy thought that over, then laughed. "Oops, I guess you're right! Start cooking soon, okay?" And with that said, their noble captain strolled off to make trouble elsewhere on the ship.

Robin chuckled at Sanji's expression (one of imminent murder). "I'm sure you will be able to make us all a wonderful meal with whatever is left, Cook-san."

Sanji's rage immediately melted into wibbling joy, despite the snort Zoro graced their ears with moments after her statement. He could easily be ignored with such lovely ladies as a distraction.

"Yes", Nami chimed in (beautiful, wonderful, exquisite Nami-swan), "I am sure you will be able to make a perfectly hearty feast to satisfy everyone's after-battle hunger." Her eyes took on a beatific shine. "I just hope Luffy left some meat for you to use, since I'm sure Zoro would really appreciate it."

Sanji's happiness died a slow and painful death. Robin nodded sagely, even as Sanji turned to her, eyes begging her to be kind. "Swordsman-san would certainly benefit from the iron, as well as the protein."

After a moment of depression, Sanji realized that this led back into his earlier argument. "Well, maybe if the shitty swordsman hadn't gotten himself mixed up in my fight, he wouldn't be all cut up like he is… I mean, it's not a guarantee or anything." The cook added hastily when they all looked at him.

The girls smiled furtively at each other again. Zoro narrowed his eyes at them suspiciously. Sanji almost kicked him for such atrocious behavior, but such an action would mean that Sanji had been paying attention to Zoro at all, which (given a past history of these sorts of moments) he was beginning to think had something to do with the shifty female behavior. He decided instead to use words, since the swordsman was more often than not rather clumsy with them, stacking the odds of winning in Sanji's favor.

"So yeah, about that. We've been a part of the same crew for ages. What exactly, after all this time, would make you think that I need you to rescue me, asshole?"

Zoro looked up from his observation of the women (not that he'd figured out what the hell was so funny or anything). Sanji glared at him, waiting for an answer. After a minute of silence, a strange look passed over Zoro's face.

If the girls hadn't started quietly giggling, Sanji would have interpreted it as gas. As it was, their charming laughter was grating on his nerves a bit. Zoro's head swung back in their direction, the strange expression replaced with his default, confusion tempered with a hint of annoyance. Then Luffy walked back into the picture.

"You guys are dumb. Obviously he did it because you're his nakama. And he's yours, so he knows you'd do the same for him. Nakama!" And back into the kitchen he went.

Sanji stared after their captain until Zoro's voice sounded in his ear, cocky once again.

"You heard the man. We're nakama, ya goddamn love cook. Now go cook something, I'm starvin' something terrible over here. All that blood loss, you know."

And then, infuriating grin in place, the swordsman sauntered off for his pre-dinner snooze.

For the next hour, Sanji cursed.

It was only later, peering out over the ocean from the crow's nest during his watch, that Sanji began to think that maybe he was just a bit too concerned with the green-haired idiot.

Ah, well. It was something to work on.