Nineteen Years Earlier.

By: Amanda M. Hutto

Chapter One. Long Talks and Hot Showers

Harry, Ron and Hermione descended the stairs from behind the Gargoyle that led to the Headmasters office. Harry looked around at all the rubble and destruction that had taken Hogwarts by storm, he took a deep breath and put his hands on his head as he looked around more. "One hell of a mess, don't you think?" Ron sighed as he clapped Harry's back and took off toward Gryffindor tower. "Ron, we have to go back down and hel-" Hermione started but was cut short by Ron, "Harry's right, a sandwich does sound good, and after all we've done… I think we need some sleep," he smiled at Harry and took off again, Hermione gave him her usual contemptuous look and walked on behind him.

Harry smiled at his best friends, remembering the days when they walked down this hall in uniform with nothing but ink stains on their hands and the glower of finals in their minds, well, Harry and his friends usually had more than finals filling their heads. He walked along beside them as they trecked their way back to the old Gryffindor dormatory. For the first time in a long time, Harry let himself feel. Feel all of the things that hurt the most, the deaths, the pain, the happiness, the sadness, the anger, and the injuries.

He began to feel the injuries instead of the emotional side of things as he reached Gryffindor tower. Ron looked at Hermione with an expectant face, she gave him an incredulous look, and he raised an eyebrow, she sighed and finally spoke, "Er, we don't know the password," The Fat Lady let out a deep breath and just swung forward to let them pass. They all crawled through and Harry winced as he got through and was suddenly being held upright by what appeared to be a curtain of red hair.

"Harry? Are you okay?" a frantic Ginny Weasley asked him as she all but carried him to the couch in front of the fire. "Ginny! I'm fine, I lasted almost a year without your help, you know?" Harry laughed as he pried himself free, but he suddenly felt somber again as he sat down. "Yes, I do know that. But you had Hemione to help," Ginny said with her hands on her hips, she knew that Harry must be tired, sore, hungry and above all in a lot of pain. "Harry, are you okay?" she asked as she set next to him, Ron gave them a dirty look as Hermione pushed him up the stairs to the girls dormitory. Harry laughed again and felt that his left ribcage was searing, "I'm…er…I'm not sure what I feel right now, what I should feel, I don't know if I should be happy or sad or angry or… whatever," he sighed and leaned back against the couch and stretched.

Ginny saw for the first time in the last few hours exactly how damaged Harry looked. His hair was longer and instead of being completely unruly, it just curled gently at the ends, he had more scars than ever, and the lightening bolt shaped scar was faded and lighter, he was more tan than she had ever seen him, but that was probably from all sun he had been in the past year, and he was in better shape than she had ever seen him. He was much more thin than she had ever seen him, but his arms and chest were toned and the muscles bulged from his too tight shirt, she shook her head and leaned back with him.

Neither could think of anything to say, they just sat in silence for a while, listening to the grumble of people moving about the castle, the occasional screams on finding another dead loved one and the cheers of finding some alive. Harry distinctly heard Ron and Hermione talking upstairs, he decided against bothering them, they had been together enough the past few months, and after what happened between them tonight, Harry figured they best be left alone. While Ginny tried to calm her nerves and breath evenly, it was at that moment that everything hit her. The war, the deaths and the pain of losing her brother.

"Ginny? Ginny?! Are you all right?" Harry asked as Ginny started to cry frantically, her whole body started shaking and she was breathing way to fast. "Ginny, it's Harry, I'm here," he whispered as he held her closely, his ribcage still searing. She held him tightly as her tears continued to fall, she felt stupid, he should be crying, not her. "It's fine, just cry. You need too," he said as if reading her mind. She took deep breaths to steady herself and detangled herself from him but Harry still sat close with his arm around her.

"I'll be fine. It just hit me is all, just out of the blue, it hit me that he's not coming back," Ginny said a little hurriedly. "I know, I mean, I couldn't understand what it would feel like to lose someone so close," he whispered as he rubbed her back. Ginny scoffed, "You? Couldn't imagine it? Harry! You lost your parents, Sirius, AND Dumbledore!". Harry shrugged, "I didn't know my parents and I only knew Sirius two years, and I'm still in shock with Dumbledore." Ginny shook her head, "No... They were your parents, and he was your world for the time that you knew him, and Dumbledore is the reason you survived all of this…" Harry laughed a little, "Your not getting it. I couldn't even begin to imagine losing someone I grew up with, someone like a brother or sister. That, I think would be worse than losing a parent," Ginny looked at the fire for a while, she finally spoke, "I can't…don't want to imagine what you've been through the past months," she look at Harry solemnly.

Harry smiled and chuckled lightly, and visibly winced, regretting it immediately, "It wasn't much, mostly listening to Ron whine, Hermione's epiphinies, and my own rambling. It was more of a prolonged camping trip rather than an adventure,". Ginny looked at him like he was crazy, "What?' he said, raising his head to look at her. She shook her head, "After everything you've been through, after all the death, the pain, the confusion, yet, through all of it, you're still cracking jokes!" she threw her hands above her head. Harry laughed again, ignoring the pain and relishing in his laughter, "I don't see the point in dragging out what was yesterday and what has happened. I'm not saying I won't be broken, or blame myself like I do, or have nightmares that leave me breathless and in a cold sweat, but I will not spend my days focused on that. Not when I can focus on making it up to you," Ginny looked at him funny.

"Ginny. I didn't want to break your heart, you were my world. And I didn't want to leave you. I wanted you to come along, but I couldn't let myself do that to you. That kiss you gave me? On my birthday? That drove me, more than anything, more than saving the world. I wanted to make the world safe enough for us that I could kiss you like that with the only fear that Ron or one of your brothers might come crashing in. Not the fear that I might never get to kiss you again, feel your body next to mine, hear your voice in my ear, feel your heart beat when you lay on my chest, I wanted to save a world where that fantasy could exist. I love you, and I have loved you for a long time," Harry finished his speech and looked into Ginny's eyes for the first time since he started speaking, he laughed again, seeing that her mouth was wide open and her eyes wide. Ginny snapped back and slapped his arm, "You just ruined a perfectly romantic moment by laughing!" she continued to slap him and he cowered beneath her. "You're not scared of Voldemort, yet you're shying away from me?!' Ginny cried as she continued to playfully slap him, "Voldemort didn't have fingernails that scratch you!" he laughed back as attempted to tickle her.

They continued to tussle until they fell on the floor with Ginny laying on top of Harry, her red hair fanning out and casting a reddish glow on his face, which was spread into a big smile. "I love you too, Harry Potter," Ginny said, leaning into kiss him, but Harry placed a finger over her lips, "I haven't properly brushed my teeth or taken a proper bath in months, you might take back that comment if you kiss me now," he said with a half closed mouth, Ginny giggled and let him up and they started to climb up the stairs towards the boys dormitory.

As Harry and Ginny reached the top of the stairs to the Seventh Year Boys dormitory, Harry stopped and turned toward Ginny, he hadn't realized how much he had grown, she was a full head shorter than him. "Ginny, are you sure about this? I mean, er, I don't want to push you to do anything, NOT that I would, but er…" Harry stumbled over his words while scratching his head, Ginny put her hands on her hips, "Harry James Potter, did you think something was going to happen tonight?" Harry's eyes grew wide, "NO! I wasn't! I was simply statin-" Ginny then placed her finger over Harry's lips as he had done to her, "I know. Nothing will happen tonight, except longs baths and finally some sound sleep," She stepped pass him and opened the door, no one was there at all, "I guess Neville, Seamus, and Dean are somewhere else?" Harry asked.

Ginny walked ahead of Harry into the Dorm, she turned to him and said, "They haven't slept in Gryffindor Tower for months, we've all slept in the Room of Requirement, in fact, this is the first I've been up here for weeks," she leaned against Harry's old bed. "If you haven't been here for weeks, why were you here tonight? Not with your family?" Harry asked, "I knew that this is where you would come. This was your first home, this is where you would come," Ginny mused. Harry sighed and walked towards the bathroom, Ginny spoke, "Hey! Where is the usual I-Don't-Matter-You-Shouldn't-Worry-About-Me Speech I always get when I say these things?" Harry smiled at her as he reached the doorway, "I know that no matter what I say or preach, you will continue to say those "things" and even though I would love to just walk up and kiss you and have my way with you, but like I said before, I haven't had a bath or properly brushed my teeth in months and I would much rather be clean when I have my way with you," he smiled again. Ginny laughed, "Who says it's only your way?"

Ginny and Harry both decided to take a shower, separate ones, of course. Harry forgot how wonderful hot water felt as it rained down on him, he just stood there for about ten minutes, letting the steam and water wash away the grime, blood and dirt that had caked up on his body. He didn't realize that tears were running down his face as well as the water, he didn't try to wipe them away or make it stop, he let them fall freely. He decided after he heard Ginny's water cut off to actually wash himself. He relished in the feeling of the soap in his hair and the bubbles floating around in the hot steam. He felt the sudden urge to sing, something he hadn't done in a long while.

Harry started to sing.

"Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you. By now you shoulda somehow realized what ya gotta do. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do, about ya now. Backbeat, the word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out. I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do, about ya now.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding. And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how.

Because baby, your gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you're my Wonderwall."

Harry finished washing up and stepped out of the shower with a towel around his waist and he walked into the dorm again to find Ginny laying on his bed with his old Quidditch jersey on and her red boy-shorts panties. She was reading a book and had glasses on, "Ginny, why are you wearing glasses?" Harry asked her as he stepped behind Ron's bedpost to change his clothes. "Well, in fourth year my eyesight went south, I only wear glasses when I read though," she went back to her book.

Ginny looked over the top of her book to see Harry walking over to his trunk as he pulled the drawstring on his loose pants, his chest was well defined and his abs were also, Ginny bit her lip as her eyes traveled down his abdomen to where his pants fit on his hip bones. "I'd pull them up, but I've lost weight and they don't fit," Harry said as he laughed at Ginny's expression, she blushed and went back to her book. "What are you reading?" Harry asked her as he sat on the bed next to her, with a shirt on now. "The Fellowship of the Ring from The Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien, it's a wonderful book. I like reading about a different world," she said as she flipped a page. "A different world? More different than ours?" Harry asked perplexed, "Yes, it's called Middle Earth and they have dwarves, elves, witches, and these funny little people called Hobbits, and than there are real men, muggles. Living among them and there is no problem, they know of the elves, the dwarves, even the witches… I would love to live in a world where I don't have to hide," Ginny whispered as she hugged the book to her.

"What do you mean "hide" we don't have to hide, Ginny," Harry said, he had never heard Ginny talk like this before, "It's silly... I just see muggles on the street and they don't know what has happened to us, to the world in general, they have no idea how close they all were to hell," she sighed as she gazed off, "Sorry, it just crossed my mind one day in detention,". "Oh, Gin. It's better this way, better that they don't know. A lot of people out there would see us as evil, or possessed or whatever and they would cast us out or kill us. There are people who see magic as something bad, a sin. Well, that's all rubbish, you die and that's it," Harry said slowly, Ginny turned to him abruptly, "You don't believe in a Higher Power? Like God or anything?" Harry sighed and took a deep breath, "I don't know. I mean, I guess, sometimes, but I don't see how God could let all these terrible things happen and still have me love Him,"

Ginny sighed again, "I think that I would rather live my life believing in God and living in a way that respects him and honors him for what he did for me, and than die and realize he never existed, than to go about my life believing he wasn't real and to die and see that he was," Ginny said, Harry looked at her and smiled, "I guess so, maybe I'll consider giving Him another chance, after all… He brought me back to you," He leaned over and kissed her gently.

Ginny gasped as Harry kissed her, fireworks seemed to go off the minute his lips touched hers. She leaned in closer and Harry deepened the kiss, tangling his hand in her hair and grabbing her around the waist with the other, Ginny sighed and grabbed a fistful of Harry's thick black hair and placed her hand on his arm as he rubbed her back. Harry broke the kiss and began to kiss Ginny's neck, she leaned her head to the side and sighed again, with only a hint of a moan.

They continued to kiss for over ten minutes when Ginny finally realized she was on her back and a certain part of Harry's anatomy was pressing into her leg. "Harry! We have to stop!" she cried as she bolted upward, hitting her head on his chin as he sat up too. "AH! Bloody hell, that hurt," Harry said as he sat on his knees, his excitement was very noticeable now and Ginny gasped when she saw it, "Harry, I'm sorry," she said as she looked down. "It's fine Ginny, I understand. We should stop before we regret something later," Harry said with compassion as he rubbed his chin, Ginny giggled a little, "I was talking about your chin, I'm sorry I hit it," Harry laughed and laid down next to her as they settled under the covers.