Um. Don't kill me. :)

Cloud snapped back to himself, on his knees in a puddle of bloody mud, having the time to blink once, and then watch as Jaz bit the head clean off the leader of the rebels not a foot in front of him. Warm blood splattered across his face, as his mind swirled in confusion. What had happened? He could remember walking into the village, and then nothing until now.

He staggered to his feet, hazy eyes taking in the carnage that surrounded him. The smell of blood was heavy in the air, and for a moment, he thought he was tasting the air on his tongue. He raised his left hand to wipe a piece of something off his cheek, his arm stopping in mid-motion when he saw what was in his hand. An arm was there, flesh clinging raggedly to the white, exposed bone where it had been ripped off a body. Bile rose in his throat, as maniacal, womanly laughter echoed in his head, as he saw the perfect chunk of flesh that was missing. He dropped the arm, the world spinning around him as he fell back to the ground on his hands and knees, retching until white spots danced in his vision. The entire time, Jenova was berating him.

You pussy, she said scathingly. You can't even stand a little bit of flesh you weakling. I can't believe that I attached myself to you. At least Vincent and the asshole inside him have some sort of backbone. You don't deserve the title of Master, you stupid, ignorant little boy.

Cloud closed his eyes tightly as everything inside him shut down. His frantic heartbeat gave one little flip, then settled into a calm, even rhythm. His heaving stopped completely, and he spat once onto the ground, wiping his face with a muddy, red hand, his eyes coldly staring at the partially eaten arm below him, and the chunk of flesh that had come back up. He examined it emotionlessly, before shoving himself back to his feet. He forced himself to stand steadily and ignore the cackling alien in his head, even as the world swam around him again, letting his eyes wander around the village square. Jaz walked up, and stood as a silent, watchful sentinel at his side, still in battle mode.

Everyone was dead that he could see. None of them bore marks that would have been made with a blade. Instead, they looked at though they had been ripped apart by a wild animal. Jenova purred approvingly in his mind, but he ignored her as he started walking. He didn't see any of the men he had come with, either dead or alive, so he knew they were somewhere. The foremost thought on his mind, was finding out what happened. He almost lost it again, when he came across a small child, lying partially underneath the mangled remains of a female, no more then 5 years of age. The little boy was still alive, but barely. His throat had been ripped out, but the big vein in his neck hadn't been touched, so he was bleeding out slowly. Cloud stood completely still, as the boy stared up at him with the widest, most terror filled eyes the 1st had ever seen.

"Don't hurt…me anymore, mister," the boy whispered haltingly, as Cloud watched what was left of the boys color fade into ash. "I'll be good, I swear…" Then the kid took one sharp, rattling breath, his eyes filling with wonder the moment before they became void of life. Cloud could only stare, rooted to the spot as guilt, remorse, and shame filled him. He finally raised his hands slightly, looking down at them, and finally seeing the shards of skin and muscle that had coagulated underneath his fingernails. He had been the one to cause all of this, even if he didn't remember doing it.

"Jenova," he whispered brokenly, his entire frame beginning to shake. "What did you do? What did you make me do?" Her words, when they came a moment later, were filled with venomous satisfaction.

I did what you could not, boy. I showed these people that you do not fuck with SOLDIER's. Cloud didn't, couldn't reply, his hands slowly clenching into fists, until his own blood mixed with that on his hands.

He was getting vague flashes of memory from Jenova, and he remembered clearly the blinding need to simply destroy, that had come over him. "Even if it was you controlling me," he whispered, looking around and finally noticing the flames that were growing closer from the other side of town. "I still…I wanted…oh Gaia." His voice broke, and with an effort, he managed to pull himself together, piece by piece. What was done, was done, and even repeating that to himself as he walked closer to the flames, couldn't quiet the piece of him that was screaming in agony. He stopped suddenly, eyes going wide and snapping to the mountains that rose against the midnight black sky. He remembered…

"It doesn't matter what you do to me," she hissed, starting to laugh. "Your mother will be dead, and you'll get to live with the knowledge that she died because you chose to work for ShinRa."

"Oh fuck…" he whispered, and grabbed Jenova harshly with his mind, forcing her to bond with him against her will, and his wings exploded from his back in a shower of white feathers and pain. He ignored the new sensations, making sure that the sword was still at his back before throwing himself into the air, Jaz easily keeping up with him as she streaked over the ground. He didn't care that he didn't know where anyone else was, or that he had just destroyed an entire village bare handed. That piece of him that had been screaming, was now roaring with panic, and he had a utterly cold, clear thought. If anything was wrong with his mother, anything that he had done in the village behind him, he would never regret.

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Four heads snapped to attention, as an agonized scream echoed through their minds. Glowing eyes were trained on the far side of the mountain, and three blue pairs blinked, startled, when the emotions were cut off. Cloud couldn't shut out all of them though.

Sephiroth fell to his knees, groaning in pain as his eyes squeezed tightly shut, holding the sides of his head with bloodless fingers. He couldn't tell if it was Cloud or Jenova who was broadcasting the utter heartbreak and mindless rage, and he didn't care. He cracked open one eye, and helplessly reached out a hand towards the mountains, tears falling down his pale cheeks in shared pain.

He knew what had happened.

"Cloud…" he whispered, and for the first time in his life, the great General Sephiroth passed out.

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He didn't know how long he had been kneeling in the snow, his mothers burnt and bloody hand cradled in his lap. His eyes were sightless and staring, as he absently stroked a finger over the perfectly manicured fingernails, over and over again. Her body was sprawled in an ungainly heap in front of him, the fire of the house just now starting to die down to glowing embers. Somehow, the hand that he held was the only part of her to escape the raging fire that had been going when he first arrived. He had pulled her out, after noticing absently the two wolves that were riddled with bullets in front of the house. She had been dead already, from two perfectly placed shots, that could still be seen on her blackened body. A perfect circle was right between her eyes, and directly over her heart. He knew that if he had the guts to turn her over, it would reveal wider holes where the bullets had exited.

Jaz was at his side, still wearing all her armor, with her head resting gently on the still sides of her sisters. She had been the one to keep the curious town folk away. Even Tifa, his childhood friend, hadn't dared get past an armored wolf to try and speak to Cloud. So there he sat, through the rest of the longest night in his memory, stroking his mothers hand and not thinking a damn thing. He knew he should be, but not even Jenova was saying, or feeling anything. For once, he was alone in his mind, and he couldn't even enjoy it. A type of numb blanket had been thrown over his soul, and he was glad. He knew he should call Sephiroth or one of the others, but every time the thought entered his mind, it slipped away with a small shrug. He knew he was going to get hell for the village when he finally made it back to Midgar, and all that earned was a small, bitter laugh.

It wasn't until he heard helicopter blades that he blinked, and looked up. Absently, he noticed the faint blush of pink that stained the mountains, an impending sign of dawn, but his attention was solely focused on the sleek black machine that was getting closer. He watched with no expression on his face or in his eyes as it landed, and wasn't surprised to see Sephiroth jump off quickly, running towards him. He smiled slightly up at his love, before turning his head back down to looked at what remained of his mother.

"They killed her," he said tonelessly, not reacting at all when Sephiroth enfolded him in a warm embrace.

"Yes, I know," Sephiroth whispered, not knowing what else to say. He refused to give Cloud the assurances and platitudes that he gave other soldiers when they lost someone. So he said the only thing he could think of, the only promise he could give.

"We will destroy those who did this, Cloud. I swear."

"Ah…" Cloud said quietly, his lips curling slightly in a condescending way. "But I already did that, didn't I? And look at what it got me. She died anyway." He set her hand down on her chest, and rose, not caring that he knocked Sephiroth backwards when he did. He trained his dead eyes on the mayor, who was standing in the forefront of the crowd that had gathered again. He walked swiftly over to the balding man, pinning him to the spot with steely eyes.

"You will give her a proper burial," he said calmly, but his voice was hard, and his look booked no argument. The man swallowed hard, eyes wide in fear at the teenager that stood in front of him, looking at him with eyes that were bright, and dark at the same time. The darkness lurked deep in his sapphire eyes, a darkness that told of a boy that had seen to much, experienced to much for someone his age. He swallowed again as Cloud was getting ready to walk away, and found his voice.

"Your not going to stay for the funeral?" he asked, and fought hard against himself not to flinch away when Cloud stopped, turning his head to the side slightly.

"She's dead. She won't care if I'm here for the funeral or not. Send me the bill," he said harshly, and the mayor, plus a few other people, flinched back from the cold, unfeeling tone. Other muttered indignantly at the callousness of his attitude. How could he explain his mothers request to him all those years ago?

"Sweetheart, I want ya ta promise me sometin'," his mother told him, kneeling in front of his gangly, awkward body of 10. Her ocean blue eyes were deadly serious, and he returned it with solemnity. "If I die, ya not ta stay for ma funeral? Got it? Yo'r ta leave, and neva come back. Promise."

"I promise mum," he whispered. She had known of all the problems he had with the town folk, with his mother labeled a murderer, and no one knowing why she had killed her husband. He had no friends, except Tifa, and she usually only liked to get him into trouble. She didn't want him to be in the town that he hated for any longer then he had to be. Even if it meant not staying for her burial.

Cloud walked over to the helicopter, ignoring the clearly heard whispers, and whistled loudly. He didn't show any outwards reaction when the memory of his mother teaching him how to whistle like that flashed through his mind, but inside, some of his calm crumbled, and started to wail in his mind, sounding exactly like a lost, terrified child. Jaz jumped in, and the other four men piled in after her. Cloud automatically started stripped off her head armor and clawed boots, knowing she would be more comfortable in the flying vehicle without them, and needing something to do, or the numb shell he had fallen into would start to crumble even more. Once her head, neck, and feet were uncovered, she lay on the floor in front of the row of seats, staring at the black wall morosely. It wasn't until she looked at him, her canine face so full of regret and soul deep pain, that he started to lose it. He knelt next to her head, and wrapped his arms around her neck, closing his eyes and burying his face in the thick fur of her neck.

The tears came slowly at first, then more rapidly as the dam started to burst, his body seeming to shrink and fold into itself with the onset of his sorrow. The strong, confident warrior was gone, leaving in its wake a seventeen year old boy, whose every decision had been based on his love and admiration of his mother. Now she was gone, the woman he had looked up to his entire life, who had killed her own husband when she had come home from work to find him abusing her six year old son, who had stood behind him proudly with any decision he had made. There was an emptiness in his heart and soul now, and not even Sephiroth, who embraced him warmly and silently from behind, or Jaz, as she lay there patiently, sharing in his grief, could hope to fill it. Even as the rest of his lovers gathered around him, silently showing their support, he had never felt more alone in his life.

They will never know what it is like, Jenova whispered in his mind, and he ruthlessly shoved her out of her mind, giving himself over to the scalding tears and gentle embraces. The seed had been sown though, and Jenova laughed sadistically to herself as she drew solely back into the blade, listening to Cloud's subconscious as it warred with the part of him that tried to say that yes, they will understand. In his grief over his mother, the darker part won. She watched in anticipation as the darkness grew, and started whispering damning, mutinous things to him about his men. Soon, she thought to herself, licking her lips as her eyes glowed with ruthless plotting. Soon, he will turn to no one but me. He will be mine, and I will live again. Whatever it takes.