I am many things. I'm a genius, a gamer and a bookworm, but there is one thing I am not. And no it's not uncool. Though that does pertain to one of the things I'm not, but that's beside the point. I am not a pessimist. What? You expected some life changing revelation? Please honey, it's me. I know who I am and I am not changing.

Where were we again? Ah, yes. As I previously stated, I am not a pessimist. While that may be, I am also not an optimist. I lean towards neither and only state what logic shows. And this right here, goes against all logic. Hell, it goes against all my family's religious values! Not that I thought worshiping a talking dead guy in the sky was all that logical to begin with, but still.

You remember Total Drama Island? The show with the barbaric host and life-threatening challenges? Well, do you remember the geek on the show? Not me, but the one mauled by a bear. Yes, him. If you had a brain, you would have guessed what he was doing to me by now.

Nothing like that you perverts! Sheesh, you people make Duncan look like a saint.

Now I'm not going to tell you. No, you people lost your chance to hear a perfectly good story because you had to be reprobate imbeciles. Go on. Leave. Vanish.

......

......

You people just don't let up do you? Fine. You zerging fans will get your story. But know this, Cody and I aren't two star crossed lovers pining for each others love over many pages of sonnets. We are two teenage boys, intelligent teenage boys at that, with ramped hormones and confused sexuality's. Expect a roundabout inner struggle, obvious denial and a short story all together. That is all.

Now, what was Cody doing that has me, Noah boy genius, in such a ranting tissy? Except seeing Susan in a dress? Well, Cody is kissing me. Meaning another boys lips are meeting mine, a boy. Two people of the male persuasion are kissing. One being me and the other being my almost equally intelligent popular-obsessed friend. And we are both male. M-A-L-E. Do you see my issue here? Good. Maybe there's some hope for the world yet. Any advice?

...

Follow my heart. Hm. Well, my response is Jeremiah 17:9. Do yourself a favor and look it up. You may actually learn something. There's a shock.

To rephrase my previous inquiry, Any useful advice?.....Besides 'jump his bones' or 'kiss him back'? No? I take back what I said about there being hope for the world. We all might as well strip down naked and join Ulysse Mérou in the Betelgeuse system. At least there the rulers were civilized.

But enough about my silent fantasy for the human race, Cody kissing isn't my only problem. I'm still not alright with that, but what's worse is I have absolutely no idea why he is kissing me! I always have a reason for everything. One moment I was leading the way to the desert boss in Kosmic Kaos and the next, we were kissing! What the fuck?! See? I'm so out of it I'm swearing! Such a barbaric thing to do. Why swear when you can perfectly articulate your thoughts into a literate statement? It's deplorable the use of such vulgar words.

Oddly enough, I have the urge to wash my mouth out with soap. Oh wait! I can't. Because currently Cody's mouth is on mine! So I'm bitter. Another male is kissing me. I think I have a right to be.

Next thing you know we'll be joining all the others on The Ultimate Showdown of Homosexuality! ....Don't go searching for that. In fact, forget I mentioned it. Really, its nothing. Forget it for your own sanity. What? You want to end up like all the others who watched two girls one cup! Like Stewie! I didn't think so. Back to me then.

Do I have a right to be bitter? Lets hear the gasps folk! Mr. Sarcastic Know-it-all just second guessed himself. Yuck it up all you want, but don't get used to it. It's a one time thing only. That seems to happen when Cody is around. But that means nothing! Nothing at all. 'Doth the lady protest too much' does not apply here at all....Oh it's not like you have all the answers! If you did, Cody wouldn't still be kissing me. Uh huh. That's what I thought. Not so high a mighty now are you? Yes, flee little fish flee! Swim away to Sealand. Did you know that Sealand is an actual nation? Go ahead and look it up.

Alright, panic time is now officially done. Time for what I do best. Logic. First, what do I think and feel about Cody. I can tolerate him, that's for sure. I can converse with him on a serious level and expect an astute rebuttal. Gaming wise? I'm better then him, but he does prove a difficult challenge. He's great with technology. Never knew my Mac iBook 1999 version could run so fast. He knows a good amount of literature as well. I never meet someone who read all 23 volumes of The Blah Story and Marienbad My Love with whom I could laugh and talk about the books freely with out seeming insane for having read all that.

Next, his looks I suppose. He is awkward. Lanky really. Tall, a centimeter shorter than myself. Bright aquamarine eyes. A cute gap toothed smile. He reminds me of an adorable puppy.

...Did I really just think that? Did I just call a male cute and liken them to a infantile canine? Why, yes. Yes I did. Holy Virgin Mary, I am in denial. Should I be thinking this? No, but I am. Isn't this what you vultures have been waiting for? For me to admit it and hasten myself to be like Fish Lady and Junk Man. Just without the children. And both of us being male.

I like Cody.

Are we all still alive? Drat. Great, now I have to go back to pushing that button and hoping it does eventually blow up the world.

I like kissing Cody.

Still nothing? Oh and now that buttons trying to hide from me.

I....love Cody.

.......That, in all honesty, wasn't painful to admit in the slightest. I'm serious. I actually liked saying it, if you can believe that.

Cody...When did I start kissing back? Ah, the hell with it. You like him. Kiss him and for once, enjoy yourself.

"Cody..." He pulled back with a blush dusting his checks. God, this kid is cute.

"Ah, I'm sorry Noah! I-I just, well, you were talking and seemed so...heh. No! I'm not laughing at you it's just I'm nervous and I laugh when I'm nervous and I just keep talking and..." He trailed off and looked to the side. His blush getting deeper.

"Cody," He looked up at me with those impossible deep aquamarine eyes. God, I sound like broken record of a love song. The sad thing is, I realize this yet still agree. "I like you. Not in the crazy fruit loop kind of way, but I still like you. You're smart, adorable, witty, honest, a good friend, and you can stop me anytime now because I swear if I get any sapper I'll be served as a topping for pancakes." He giggled giving me a lop sided grin showing off that gap toothed smile of his that I swoon over. Evil thoughts, enough sounding like a love struck school girl.

"Is it possible to be uncorny when you love someone?"

I rolled my eyes and gave him a sly smirk.

"What? Is this some impromptu love confession to my amazing self?" I asked. My voice riddled with dry sarcasm.

"You could say that. And you could kiss me and seal the deal on this little love fest." He grinned up at me and I leaned down fully prepared to give the boy exactly what he wanted.

"Cody, you make me have hope that humans aren't just a bunch of brain dead parrots running the world." Hey, I said I was done with sounding like a love sick school girl.

"Is that a compliment?" I could feel the giggle escape his mouth as our lips touched lightly.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night honey." I closed the distance between our lips completely intending to spend the rest of my time exploring the warm cavern that is Codys mouth. Ok so that was a bit school girly. But it's my mind! I have a right to freedom of thought!

There you have it. My story. What? You people expected something longer? I told you this is no Shakespearian play, but you didn't listen to me. You had to push the subject. Though you have, and a dread admitting this, you people have been, ugh, helpful so I'll leave you a sort of epilogue.

Cody and I made-out for a little while and after much deliberation decided not to hide our relationship. We weren't exactly going to shout to the heavens we were boyfriends, but we didn't try to hide our affection for each other. Cody called his parents that night and told them the news. They were...oddly supportive. They also mentioned something about thanking god he wasn't with that dark girl. I went ahead and assumed that to be Gwen. Never thought I'd be grateful for Cody's miniature obsession with her.

What about me you ask? Well, the conversation with my family was horrible anti-climactic. I expected some big blow up and yelling, but was severely disappointed. I said I was gay, Mother and Father were silent, Mother said was that all, I said yes and they breathed a sigh of relief (Apparently they thought I had gotten sick from one of my life-threatening allergys), Father said use a condom then handed the phone to my siblings who all had their own two cents to put in. It was...surprising to say the least, but kind of calming to know they honestly didn't care. Though it was disturbing to hear my third oldest sister call Cody 'she' and start asking us for fashion advice.

Really, she would think after years of seeing me in a sweater vests and not once picking up one of her fashion magazines that I have no fashion sense that she so resolutely insisted I had. Then again, it was funny to mess with her and have go out and buy 'abstract clothing'. Show her to trust me with fashion ever again.

The other campers didn't really care past the occasional question. Except for Izzy, sorry I mean E-Scope, who kept repeating I told you so over and over. You think she'd just shut up after Eva gave her that black eye. The anti-me also tried to cause trouble. Apparently he thought if Cody could fall for me he could fall for him and as a result torture me with the fact that he beat me with looks yet again.

Yeah...lets just say that I have never laughed that hard at anything in my entire life and Cody has a bad side. Not that it's a vicious bad side or anything just more mischievous than usual.

There. The story is done so go be obsessive fans else where. You don't have to go home, but you have to get the heck out of here! I need my alone time with Cody, so go. Vanish.

- Noah

Note: Reading the Bible after having no previous religious background at two in the morning isn't a smart thing to do. Just throwing that out there.

Bonus points to people who can name all the things referenced in this. Reviews are welcome, Flames are used to fuel the fire.