Happily ever after

Rating: M

Pairing: HP/DM

Summary: Harry and Ginny are married, but their love soon begins to fade and they are left living an unhappy life. Draco Malfoy enters his life again thanks to their sons, is it only friendship that blossom, or something else?

Warnings: If you love Harry/Ginny don't read. If you are against slash, don't read. I'm not from England and therefore I don't know how you celebrate Christmas. I've taken some information from the Internet though, and if this is wrong, please forgive me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, although I, as many others, wish I did.

Corrected By: Dark Raven 4426, UPDATED 6TH MAY 2010.

Authors Note: My dislike for Ginny is rather obvious, don't you think? But to my defence, I can imagine Harry with thousands of other characters that would be much better for him.

6th May 2010 – This fic is now being rewritten! I'm changing it into a fic with more chapters and longer contains! Hope you'll like the change!!

Chapter One

Smother me

Our friendship turned into a relationship, my affection was quickly blinded by love. Years passed and I spent them with you, how I wish my love for you was true.

My love turned into affection, my affection turned into distain and my distain.. slowly grew to hate.

Whatever happily ever after meant, and who ever came up with that expression, this was probably not what they meant. It had never been, nor would it ever be. We were beyond salvation, beyond that blind crush that had clouded my mind as I kneeled down in front of her, beyond happiness. Any world would be better then this, any life would be more satisfying, I realized this and I accepted it. Accepted my destiny as it was and the life that came with it. I couldn't break away from this, couldn't run away or fight it. The only thing I could do was standing by, watching and listening as the time tick by, quicker and quicker by the minute that went. And my hope dulled as it went.

Whatever happily ever after meant, this was probably not it. I tried to act unaffected by the way she, we both, acted at breakfast, I don't know if I succeeded.

I tried to act unaffected by the way she, we both, acted at breakfast. I hid behind my cup of coffee and pretended for my life to seem indifferent. I can't really tell if I succeded, Ginny had her back turned to me most of the time. I was filled with shame, although I knew that I hadn't done anything wrong, practically... theoretically... hypothetically.

Lily gave me one long look when I entered the kitchen. I knew how I must have looked to her, simply wrong. My usually shaved cheeks were, well, unshaven. Lily used to love it when I was unshaved, when she was young enoughto still come into our bedroom in the early mornings, claiming that she couldn't sleep. I knew by her expression, shy and hesitating that she only wanted to creep down into the warmth in the middle of me and Ginny. She would let her small, soft fingers travel along my cheek and giggle at the sensation of my stubble. Her eyes now looked at me, and they seemed not to be the eyes of a child, but of a grown adult, with the wisdom and ability to judge. I suddenly felt like a child being scolded by an lady, filled with the shame that was evidence of my mischief. Now she tore her eyes of me and continued with whatever new drawing she had next to her breakfast, her beautiful almost porcelain (to me at least) hands filled with streaks of various colours from her colourful chalks. This week, you see, she wanted to be an artist.

I walked up to Ginny and kissed her lightly on her cheek, so as not to make Lily anymore suspicious then she already was. As my lips left my wife's skin it struck me how cold it felt, this small act of love that used to warm me up into my bones now only chilled and made me want to curl up. Nothing about her made me react like I used to.

Ginny stiffened as I hesitated behind her and her working hands slowed down, a clear sign of discomfort. She was on her guard. I flinched back and sat down at the table, reaching for the Daily Prophet in which Lily had decorated the pages with several flowers, she'd also taken the liberty to paint a woman's lips red on a picture. I smiled at my daughter and she smiled shyly back at me.

I opened the newspaper and pretended to be engrossed by the contents of it, but really my mind was spinning. I was already tired of this charade; it was like a never ending merry-go-round that spun around, hour after hour. I desperatly wanted it to stop, but now, it had gained speed and it seemed as if the ride had only just begun. I thought back about how Ginny had looked while that other man had pleasured her, she hadn't seemed sad at all, only happy. I remembered the time when she'd looked like that with me, happy, careless.

The sound of a plate coming in contact with the table made my head snap up and I saw my usual breakfast containing bacon and eggs lying in front of me.

I suddenly felt the urge to throw up.

Yet I smiled at her and started to play with the food. My usual "thank you, love" rolled of my tongue easily, like an reflex. I started to notice how these rutins, were the only thing that ever happened in my life. I woke up, went to work, came home and fell asleep. How any conversation I ever had seemed to be a repetition of the conversation before. Any arguments or topics were topics already discussed, or arguments already won. It was infuriating and I had a small feeling of claustrophobia creeping up my spine.

"Mum," Lily said with her sweet little voice. "Melissa said that she was going to wear her pink skirt today, I want to wear mine too!" Lily said and looked up from her painting.

Ginny gave her an unapproving glance.

"No, you know that pink doesn't go with your hair. Besides you already have your clothes on." She said and sat down at the table as well with a sandwich in her hand.

"Mum! Please!" Lily whined and pulled at her greem skirt. "This is ugly!"

As Ginny continued to say no the little seven yearold turned her big eyes towards me, nailing me down with her piercing, pleading gaze. I quickly dove into the paper and hoped that I would look too busy for her to distrurb me.

No such luck.

"Daddy!" She called, drawing the 'a' out really long. "Please!" She begged.

I knew not to look into her eyes; I'd known that since her infancy, those eyes were lethal. What they wanted, whatever it was, they got it. They could convince you to commit murder, anything to please them. As always, my attempt to avoid them ended in disaster. Thosa brown eyes so unlike her mothers and yet still so very alike stared at me. Wide open, filled with tears and a quivering lip.

Damn it.

Fifteen minutes later I stood in the hall with a happy little girl by my side. A happy little girl in a pink skirt that looked horrible with her fiery red hair. My angry wife glared at me as we left the house but I couldn't feel any remorse for undermining her authority, her motherhood. So I simply grabbed a hold of my sweet daughter and (after telling my wife goodbye) left for Madam Nelson's Magical Nursery.

-^HPDMHP^-

How we were supposed to go on, I didn't know. How we were supposed to keep pretending that everything was fine, I didn't know. How I was supposed to accept this prison I was kept in, this dead end, this difficult maze I couldn't find my way out of, I didn't know. I knew, however, that I wanted this to end, badly. But it wouldn't, and I couldn't end it either. No matter how much I wanted to. My children would hate me forever.

I felt sick as I watched Ginny sleep next to me, peacefully. Her eyes not squinted together as they usually were in the daylight, her hair not put up in an elegant and fashionable knot, her mouth not frowning in distaste, she almost looked beautiful. Almost. She'd sneaked out of the house when Lily had gone to sleep, but now she was back, exhausted after having been gone for five hours. I wondered dryly if his seed had even dried between her legs. I wondered whom she'd been with, how he looked, if he was rich. Would he really be able to take care of her?

Strangely enough, I couldn't blame Ginny for cheating on me. I'd never been with anyone else then her, but that didn't make me innocent either. I wasn't the light and she was the dark shadow, naturally evil. She'd been wonderful, and I knew that I had a fault in this too. About a year after she had Lily, I stopped touching her. I couldn't bring myself to it, even though I knew she wanted it. I stopped caring; shut myself of from her. I and I alone were responsible for creating the foundations of the barrier that kept us away from each other. I was responsible for the wrinkles that had formed by her eyes, the wrinkled around her mouth and the new strange gleam in her eyes. I turned away with a shudder.

Our bedroom door creaked open, and I saw my beautiful baby girl poke her head into the room. I sat up and smiled at her blurry form, my salvation from madness. She gave me a shy smile and ran across the floor. She ran fast with bare feet that barely seemed to touch the floor, steps that hinted she was afraid that a monster would catch her.

I helped her down underneath the covers and pulled her small body closer to me. She instantly pressed her nose to my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. I stroked her hair, whispered comforting words in her ear and watched her fall asleep; her brown eyes slowly closed themselves as sleep overcame her. It struck me how beautiful she was, my eyes teared up. I buried my face into her hair as I felt the angry tears leave my eyes.

I didn't want this. I didn't want this.

-^HPDMHP^-

This is the first corrected/rewritten part of Happily Ever After edition two! Hope you like it, those of you who have already read it might see the change, I hope!

Well, please leave a comment and tell me what you think!

Love to you all!

- Celestial Beauty