disclaimer: I own nothing, happy? *cries*

first time writting for south park whoho!

warnings: not so one sided slash between our favorite rivals Kyle and Cartman

the italics are actually one of Catrman's dreams

~Dreams of popcorn flavored lips~

"The snow is really bright tonight" I whispered

The Jew was talking with Clyde about their tutoring session later that day. Butters wouldn't shut up about his party next week and was getting on my last nerve, and Stan was going on about how Kyle was getting distant and how we should all try to get him back. I tore my eyes from the duo talking and stared at Stan. I wanted to say something. Call him a fag, tell him to hide that Jew induced boner before anyone notices he was Kyle's lap dog, but I was in the same situation, only Kenny knew but that was already one too many people. I swear that blonde is no blonde.

make sense?

The source of my problems laughed about something and the sound made my chest hurt and my throat feel like a giant rope had tied a knot inside it. The ice in my veins hardened underneath my now flustered skin and the room was suddenly too hot. He waved to Clyde and they went their separate ways. He looked like he was smiling about something but I think his lips curled like that naturally. Four years ago I would have called him a fairy now I think he resembled more of a demon seducing its prey so he can eat them like their kosher.

Days, weeks, months... five months to be precise, and still every time his lime colored gaze struck me I melted.

His gloved hand touched mine. I smiled, how had he become such a freaking giant part of me?

We were twelve when the 'incident' happened. The guys and I were just kicking back and watching a horror movie at Stan's house. Kyle and Kenny were on their stomachs, palms supporting their cheeks. All of our sleeping bags were spread on the floor. Kyle even had the nerve to rest his elbow on the corner of mine. I got up to make more popcorn (and to purposely step on Kyle) when I noticed that he had a birthmark on his right hip.

I didn't mention it; instead I carried on in my popcorn making quest. I didn't really get a good look anyway because he told me to 'stop being a dildo and get my foot off his spine'. When I came back he had very selfishly invaded my spot on the couch. I glared at him for a whole minute before smirking and walking over to him. "Why Kyle how nice of you to be my new pillow, the couch was getting rather uncomfortable without one!" I exclaimed and sat on his legs.

He yelled, Stan yelled, I yelled, Kenny laughed and said I was 'topping' and then 'it' happened.

I dropped the bowl of popcorn, and as much as I know that's a tragedy, that wasn't even the worst part. I jumped off his legs, slipped on the nylon in my red sleeping bag and, in my determination not to fall on my face; I grabbed his shirt collar bringing him down on top of me.

Now that would have been all fine and dandy had his face not crashed into mine. One second I'm laughing at the face my rival was making and the next there's yellow, green eyes staring right at me, a knee rubbing my crotch and popcorn flavored lips barely touching mine.

His flustered face was practically melting the snowflakes kissing his cheeks.

We never spoke of that moment again.

It was forbidden, looking directly at each other's eyes for more than a few minutes had become forbidden, touching each other unless we were in a fight had become forbidden, dreaming about him was supposed to be forbidden but he didn't know I did it so I did anyway, I was never one for rules.

Kyle and Cartman together, that was as likely as a bear and a chicken flying to the moon to fight aliens.

But then again this is South Park.

Finally at fifteen (one year ago) my dreams went from random flashes of his face in water puddles to us making out. I distracted those few dreams by joining the debate team and dating Patty Nelson. We lasted about two months… a high school accomplishment if you ask me.

During lunch I could never keep my stomach from flipping at his proximity so I lost a couple of pounds… I was still big 'boned mind' you, but I also happened to be the son of one of the prettiest women in Colorado so I was still pretty good looking. I had inherited her brown gold eyes, naturally smooth skin and silky chestnut hair. I was told that I had gotten 'datable' in 8th grade… yay me; girls finally thought I was cute and I couldn't keep my eyes off the famous 'flaming ass'.

"You know I love you right?" he said silently.

Here we are one year later and nothing has changed yet.

I still feel like peeing my pants when he bumps into me in the bus, my esophagus still catches on fire when we change in the locker room, my heart still hums when he says my name, my mind still shuts down when his body makes contact with mine in a fist fight, and my hormones still shoot up when we play sports and I see the birthmark, the way its light brown contrasts on his pale skin in the shape of a crescent, the memories that it brings no matter how many times I try to forget, the times I have to 'use the can' during class because his shirt rides up just a little, to reveal that mark.

When I fall asleep its his face I see.

when we go on adventures its his ass I save.

when we have sleepovers its his body I avoid.

when we lock eyes its that fateful day I remember...

the day Eric Cartman fell in love with a Jew.

I smile at him and right as we are about to kiss…

I still occasionally try to take over the world, I still sometimes cause the city thousands in damage repair, I still hang out with Kenny, Stan, Kyle, and Butters, I still copy my homework from the redheaded firecracker; I still call Stan a fag, Wendy a bitch, Bebe a whore, Token a black asshole, Craig a douche bag, Kyle a stinking Jew, Kenny a poor boy, and so on.

The only difference is that now when I fall asleep I wish It was more than Clyde frog there with me, when the nurse hides my scars from fighting I wish Kyle's passion were used in another way, when I see him and Stan hug I wish I could rip him off his arms and remind that fag he has a girlfriend, and when I'm about to kiss him I wish his lips weren't just my longing dreams.

My alarm beeps, reminding me that those lovely words never really left his lips.

It hurts… It hurts to see our future together as nothing more than a fantasy.

But every time I'm about to lose hope he says something nice, his stare lingers just a little too long, his shoulder touches mine during a field trip, or he simply falls asleep on the sleeping bag next to mine occasionally smiling or letting a random name slip through his popcorn flavored lips.

The bowl only inches from our heads his shirt hitched just barely revealing his mark.

Now that I think about it ever since that day his comments were nicer, his stares lingered too long, his shoulder touched mine more often during field trips, and his closed eyes faced me during movie filled nights.

either way for now I'll settle for my dreams, stolen kisses from popcorn flavored lips while he sleeps and the hope that maybe I wasn't the only one affected by our little incident.