Stress was a monster that I feared would swallow me whole. Sure, it was always there, but it seemed like it was some kind of strange Cancer--Everyone was born with it, but it only revealed itself and piled on the pressure like a thousand barrels of rocks at certain, sometimes spontanious times.

I was uncomfortable sitting in my classroom desk on Valentine's day, which, tends to be one of those particular times when the disease-like virus called stress decides to show it's hideous face. Perhaps uncomfortable wasn't even the word. I felt miserable, yet acomplished. Determind, yet uneasy. I think whatever I was feeling didn't have the honor of having words created for it's description yet, that's how complicated it was, like a tangled, twisting thornbush. Like the atmosphere of the heart.

A single white carnation lay flat on the pencil damaged, cream colored surface of my desk, and it seemed to glare up at me flatly, almost as if with expectation. Sure, I had purchased it and written a message on the little paper tag, with the intent of it belonging to someone else on this day of bleeding lovers and blazing hearts.

But he was the most popular guy in my class; probably my grade. He was going to recieve countless pink, red and white carnations from girls from every classroom, and that seemed to bring me down. It wasn't at all that I was unpopular of disliked, I had friends from around the school, and he too was my friend. I simply feared that I would be the only boy sending him the simple Valentine's greeting, like an outsider, someone exciled from was was morally right in teenage minds.

I rapped my finger nails on my desk, the fast, almost uprising beat that skipped and skidded all over the place somehow reminding me of the nervousness I felt. I glanced at him, watched him reading through messages on the flowers, ranging in a various yet not very broad color scheme. He hugged the girls around him who had handed them to him minutes before, and yet mine still sat. Almost as jealous as I was.

Suddenly a voice ripped me from fantasy world and back into cold, hard reality, and it was my teacher's coo. She was a kind woman, as she bent to me and spoke in her soft, rose petal voice that was like a Motherly melody. "Roxas? Aren't you going to give that special someone your carnation?" Quickly covering the tag and enveloping the stem of the plant in my clammy fist, I nodded at her, feeling exasperated and pressured. Soon everyone's eyes were on me, as I walked towards him, feeling my face grow hot and my heart do an endless amount of jumping jacks beneath my goosebump rippled flesh.

Riku looked up at me, some of his silver hair drooping into his eyes. He raised one eyebrow, drowning in an extremely baggy hoodie that could have fit a much larger individual, he looked extremely comfortable. Although the size was quite abnormal for him. I felt bad that I was going to ruin that security. I looked away from him, keeping my eyes as far off from his as possible, as if they were a mortal enemy, or a large, destructive tornado. I held out the carnation to him, a simple, yet somehow awful, symbolization and representation of my love. "Here..." I couldn't manage to say anything more, almost as if my throat had forgotten which function of the body it was used for.

He took it, I knew that for it was taken smoothly and gently from my hand, however I didn't look back to his face to absorb a reaction. I was afraid of the outcome, because it could go anywhere from something beautiful and perfect, like a rainbow after a disgusting day, to something disturbing and horrible, like finding flattened roadkill when you're trying to take a walk on a nice day. I could feel the teachers eyes focused hard on the back of my head, like hot coals. I stood there, feeling overwhelmed. the room spinning around me like a cyclone of humiliation and depression. The laughter that had quickly rumbled from the classmates, all excluding Riku himself, turned from something young and cruel, to something of manical, mediocre measures. I suddenly believed that I had sunk down to what was inevitably waited for me underground; I felt like I was standing in the hot, boiler room of hell, staring into the face of despair's mentor; the devil.

And I had to get out.

Suddenly my feet answered my prayers and pounded across the floor. I was running, escaping, hiding...Everything I didn't want to be doing; but something more satisfying and enjoyable then have people beat how I felt like an emotional pinata. I didn't get far, not until the end of the hall until I stopped. I wasn't out of breath but I was dizzy and feeling washed out. The nervousness had swept through and out of my trembling body from the first instant the thin, green stem had left my grasp. However, relief made an awful reaction when mixed with embarrassent and fright. I now felt like I had no energy at all, and I could tell my face had lost all color and was as pasty and white as the snow on the ground outdoors. I was swaying on my feet, feeling the world rock me and spin me around like an extreme amusement park ride.

For a second I thought I heard fast paced footsteps, but everything seemed to echo and bounce around as if everything were rubber, even my heart pounding in my ears. Suddenly I was positive I had fallen; but the hostile, cold tiles did not greet me. I didn't feel the solidity of the floor catch me pathetically, like it would normally when someone faints. Instead of these unpleasant things I expected to collide with. I felt like a was floating above the ground; above the world. Like I had fallen into the arms of someone strong and dependable. However, as much as I was unsure and too dazed to decide why, my conciousness decided it was tired of holding me up straight. It flew off, fleeing from it's duties and leaving my mind to tumble into restless darkness that was unfamilliar yet somehow calming.

The long, brightly colored lights that covered the ceiling of pretty much every room in the school were the first things I saw when I awoke. I sat up quickly, only to feel pain surge through my head as if two bricks were having a wrestling match inside my skull. I flopped back down almost immediately, feeling the pounding in my head like a million distant, angry drums. The school nurse looked at me, concerned, and I realized I was in her office on the patients table. She began to speak. "Roxas, you fainted a short while ago...How are you feeling now? Are you...." However, I didn't get dragged far into what she was saying, for something else tenderly caught my attention like a fly in a spider's web. Her words continued on in the background, and I unknowingly, payed no attention whatsoever.A deep red carnation was placed delicately beside me, untouched and waiting for me to notice it's beautiful presence. I picked it up and read the note slowly, every word tingling my flesh and prodding my heart with the strong sensation of love. The message was short and sweet, making me feel better than I had all day. If only I had known. My lips curled into a smile, as I thought about how amazing it was going to feel to talk to him again. I should have known he was protecting something in the pockets of that big sweater of his. I released a sigh that carried the essence of love, the pure vibe my heart was feeling.

"To: Roxas
From: Riku

From the first moment I set eyes on you, I knew you were going to mean something important to me; I could see clearly that your body and soul had been carved by angels. I know you probably aren't expecting this from me, but...Happy Valentines Day, Roxas. My heart will never stop soaring for you."

//END//