Hey guys! it's me :D

Sooo, I got to thinking. Since writing HOHH and IABCWAPF (my single MR oneshots), a couple people have suggested writing a collection of oneshots. So I thought, oh what the hey. I don't have to stick to a regular story, I get to update whenever I want, make them as random as I want... saweetness!

So........ here it is. hehehe.

and PLEASE keep in mind-- These are SONG-INSPIRED, NOT SONGFICS. ;)

Reviews, please!

FAX SHUFFLESHOTS

1. Green Eyes – Coldplay

Fang pressed his lips together, Max's screams grating on him like torture. It took every ounce of self-control for him not to rush in there and get all those doctors away from her with their pointy little tools and their big, medical-sounding words. He wanted to go in there and hold her, tell her everything was going to be okay. It tore him apart to hear her like that. His gritted his teeth in concentration. Do not move. Everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to—

"Mr. Ride?" Fang's dark head jerked up at the sound of the doctor's voice.

"Yes?"

The man smiled. "Would you like to meet your son?"

-:=|=:-

Fang stepped into the room, feeling antsy and paranoid from all the hospital smells and sounds. But when he saw Max, and what she held in her arms, all that faded away. He leaned down beside her. The bed that she laid on and the hospital gown she wore were both covered in blood, but he didn't care.

Max, face flushed and hair in disarray, beamed proudly up at him and his heart swelled. He leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead. She looked back down at the tiny bundle and whispered something to it, then carefully, gently handed it over to him.

As Fang took the baby into his arms, he felt a strange lump rising in his throat. The little body he held in his arms was so delicate, complex, fragile. How could it be real?

The little boy stared up at his daddy, cooing and gurgling, making tiny baby noises. His tiny head was covered in dark, fuzzy hair. Bright green eyes shone up at Fang, and once again, his heart gave a jump. "He's beautiful," he whispered in wonder.

"Green eyes," Max said, smiling. "Wonder where he got those?"

Fang didn't take his eyes off the baby. "What are we going to name him?"

"How 'bout Torture? Pain? Sixteen Hours Of Labor?" Max groaned, then looked at the little body and laughed. "But you were worth it, little guy."

Fang's lips curved into a smile. "Green eyes," he murmured. "Green eyes…"

2. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing – Jack Johnson

The sky was just starting to spit gray drizzle at the miserable people outdoors as Max stalked out of the tiny apartment and slammed the door behind. She hurried down the stairs to her car, pulling the hood of her jacket over her head. Thunder rumbled ominously just as she pulled the door closed and started the engine.

"Max, wait!" A dark-haired teen raced down the slippery stairs, grabbing the railings for support. When he finally made it down, he leaned down by her car window and knocked. Max wouldn't look at him. He knocked again, more rapidly. "Max, open up!"

She rolled down the window. "What do you want, Fang?" Her voice was cold and angry.

He glared at her. "I'm telling you, it's not what you think."

She gave him a fake-sweet smile. "Oh, so that nice girl with her mouth glued to your neck was just there by accident?"

Fang groaned and ran a hand through his wet, messy hair. "She's one of my neighbors, Max. It's not like that."

"Then how is it, Fang?" Max was getting madder by the minute. "Care to enlighten me?"

He pressed his lips together and stared down at her. He was soaked to the bone, but he didn't shiver. Lightning split the sky with an eerie yellow glow and thunder boomed ominously like a bad horror movie. The sky was getting darker. Fang's intense gaze felt like it was burning her, but still she didn't back down. Instead, she unlocked the car door and stepped out. The rain had gotten harder and in a few moments, she was just as wet as Fang. "Tell me."

"She just broke up with her boyfriend, Max. She came over in tears and asked if I could give her a hug, so I gave her a friendly, non-romantic hug. That's all."

Max scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"You just don't get it, do you, Max?" His eyes flashed and water dripped off his hair. "You just don't get it."

Thunder crashed again and Max had to yell over it to be heard. "Get what?!"

He reached out and put a hand behind the back of her neck, drawing her closer. She froze. He stepped even closer to her and she could feel the heat radiating off his body. She shivered. "Max," he whispered, his voice husky, "I love you, you idiot."

Max's eyes widened. "You wha—?"

But she didn't get a chance to finish her question, because Fang's lips had found hers and now they were kissing with everything they had in them. Max's hands tangled themselves in his wet hair and Fang's arms snaked around her waist. He pulled her even closer so Max's feet were on top of his. The rain pounded them in sheets, but still they stood there, just kissing.

"Mmm," Max murmured against his lips, "took you long enough."

3. Rematch

"Yes!" Max crowed triumphantly as she placed her token on Worceshire Avenue. "I win again!"

Fang stared at the board, then at a smirking Max, then the board, then back to Max. "You cheat, I know you do."

Max grinned cheekily, toying with the plastic token she held in her fingers. "Rematch?"

Fang glared at her and emptied the board. "I'm watching you this time."

4. I Have A System

"Fang! No!" I shoved his hands frantically away from my plate. "Don't you dare touch it!"

Fang looked at the syrup bottle in his hands in bewilderment. "But I thought you liked syrup on your waffles…?"

I sniffed and snatched the bottle from him. "I have a system."

5. Hamster (The Kodak Moment)

"What is it?" Fang's nose wrinkled adorably as he looked curiously at the tiny animal. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "It's a hamster, genius."

He touched it with one finger gingerly, trying to keep an expression of eww on his face to retain his cool, indifferent façade. "It's so…" He shook his head. "I never thought I would use this word, but…it's so cute."

Now I couldn't help myself from laughing. I mean, come on, wouldn't you? Fang just said the word cute. But my burst of laughter was clearly not appreciated by Mr. Manly Man himself, demonstrated when he glared at me. I coughed to cover up stray laughter.

He gently picked up the tiny, furry creature and stroked it softly. "How long are we babysitting it?"

"Just until Nudge and Iggy get back from vacation."

"Oh." I detected a flash of disappointment in his eyes, but it instantly disappeared when he saw the grin on my face. "What?" he asked indignantly.

"Oh, nothing," I said innocently, but leaned closer and whispered in his ear, "Fang, if you really like it that much, we can get one." I smirked. "I won't tell any of your macho friends."

He glared at me again, then looked back down at the small creature. "No way. I'll be glad when this thing is gone."

I sighed mock-thoughtfully. "Well, alright," and started to walk away, but not before turning around ad seeing Fang rub his cheek against the tiny ball of fur.

Softie.

6. Fading – Decyfer Down

Wham. A huge pile of paper was slammed down in front of me. I looked up and there stood my she-devil of a boss, Brigid, in all of her auburn-haired, miniskirted glory. And she did not look happy. "Max, what are you doing?"

I yawned. "Just pausing for a breather."

She glared at me. "Well, no more little 'breathers,' understand? We're losing readers as it is without you wasting my time." She sniffed and flounced away, but not before throwing a, "oh, and don't forget to read all of those papers by tomorrow!" over her shoulder.

I groaned and slid down into my office chair, willing my bleak surroundings—desks, gray walls, the tap-tap-taps of people typing frantically on keyboards to reach their deadlines—to somehow miraculously morph into a beachy paradise where I could sip fruity drinks out of coconuts and lounge in a hammock with the sun setting over the ocean, casting golden shadows on—

"Max?"

And with that, my daydream shattered like ice on asphalt. "What?" I snapped irritably, then looked up and saw Fang, my best friend and fellow survivor here at the Oakley newspaper—aka My Personal Hell. Fang and I had been friends ever since I'd joined the paper. He'd been here for a month longer than I had. "Oh. Sorry."

He shrugged. "No big." He perched on the side of my desk. "How's the article coming along?"

I rubbed my temples. "As well as any article about recent vandalisms of the town's two-acre cornfield can be expected."

Fang frowned in sympathy. "Tough week, huh?"

"Yeah." I sighed and gestured helplessly to the monstrous pile of papers Brigid had dumped on my desk. "And now I have this to add to my agenda." I looked up and smiled wryly at him. "At least my social life is at an all-time low."

He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his constantly messy black hair. "I'd much rather be with you watching reruns and eating Chinese takeout. And being home alone is better than what I've got." He leaned closer to me and whispered, "Brigid blackmailed me into taking her out tomorrow." He shuddered.

"I'll pray for you." I turned back to my computer and rested my fingers on the keys.

"Ooh, did I hit a nerve?" I could hear the smile in his voice, but when I didn't reply he got serious. "What's the matter, Max?"

"Nothing." I looked back up at him. "I need to finish this piece, okay?"

He studied me for a moment, then said, "alright. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" and left.

I sighed. Why did things always have to be so difficult with Fang? He had always been my best friend. We had bonded over the mishaps we'd experienced in this purgatory. But recently, I'd started feeling a little more than just friendly coworker-to-coworker feelings for Fang.

I turned around again and looked at his retreating figure. Some day I'd work up the courage to tell him how I felt. Maybe not today, but some day.

7. Don't Get Comfortable – Brandon Heath

Scenery rushed by me in a colorful blur, the smudged window distorting the tall trees, signs, other cars, buildings that we sped by.

Moving.

Again.

I shook my unruly dark hair into my equally dark eyes rebelliously. Dad had been asked to start a new business. Again. Which meant packing up everything in those boxes that somehow seem to wrinkle anything you put in them, saying good-byes to friends it felt like you'd just met, polite "we'll miss you's" and lots of unreturnable presents.

But the one good-bye that had hurt me the most was the one I got from my girlfriend, Max. She was always so tough, so sure of herself. I think that was the only time I'd ever seen her cry. We'd stood there for what felt like ages, just holding each other, too afraid to let go.

I played with the necklace she'd given me. It was a fang-shaped charm on simple black string. Her hands had been shaking when she'd given it to me. She couldn't even talk. She just handed it to me.

I turned away from the window, the blurring images making me sick. I couldn't stand this. I had to go back. I had to see her again.

I would go back, I decided, with startling confidence and clarity. I was going back.

As soon as I could, I was going back.

I loved her.

8. Soil, Soil – Tegan and Sara

I coughed.

Instantly, a flood of profanities came to mind, but my throat was too scratchy to scream any of them. So I settled for a slightly rusty-sounding huff instead.

I was lounging on the couch in my ratty old yellow flannel pajamas with the rip on the side of the leg from when I'd accidentally gotten them stuck in the zipper of my sweatshirt, watching old CSI reruns, just being infinitely bored. Another cough worked its way up my throat and I wanted to scream. Contrary to popular belief, being sick and having to miss school sucked. Big time.

To take my mind off my boredom, I imagined everyone at school. Having fun. Having the time of their lives while I suffered alone. My best buds, Nudge and Iggy. My boyfriend, Fang. My older brother, Gaz. My little sister, Angel.

Lucky, unappreciative butts.

I sniffed pitifully and rubbed my aching stomach. Oh, woe is me. Woe is—

The doorbell rang, startling me out of my self-pitying thoughts. I groaned and pulled myself up and off the couch with great difficulty. I had no desire to see anyone in my weak state, but I answered the door anyway. Standing there was my boyfriend, Fang. His black hair was messy and gorgeous as usual and he was wearing his leather bomber's jacket that I told him made him look like a bank robber. I was so surprised to see him, you could have knocked me over with the rose he was holding.

Wait a minute. Rose?!

"What are you doing here?" I croaked.

He grinned, lighting up my immediate surroundings. "Thought I'd skip homeroom to come see you."

I coughed violently. "Oh, that's so sweet of you. Is that for me?" I pointed to the rose in his hand.

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Can I come in?"

Okay. Can I just point out the obvious for once and say that FANG IS THE BEST BOYFRIEND POSSIBLY IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.

And that's the truth.

I pulled him inside and he flopped onto the couch as I went into the kitchen to put the rose into some water. "How long are you planning on staying?" I called scratchily.

"As long as you want me to," he called back. "Wanna watch a movie? Order some pizza?"

I came into the living and just looked at him. "I love you."

He grinned and patted the space on the sofa beside him. "I know you do."

Ignoring the pat on the sofa, I plopped into his lap and cupped his cheek with one hand. "Thanks, Fang."

He turned his head so my palm was touching his lips and he kissed it. "You're worth it, Max."

9. Crazy – Gnarls Barkley

"Hey there beautiful," the McDonald's cashier said to Max, raking his eyes up and down her body. "What can I get you?"

She looked completely grossed out, and was about to tell him exactly what she wanted, but before she could cause a scene, I stepped in front of her and said as gruffly as possible, "actually, we just wanted some—"

The guy cleared his throat. "Excuse me, dude? I was asking the lady."

Max narrowed her eyes and looked at me expectantly. I growled at the guy and did my best to imitate Max's Death Glare. "Back off, Burger Boy."

He glared at me, but then looked at Max and picked up a piece of paper, scribbled something on it, and shoved it into her hand. He winked. "Feel free to call." I glowered and tore the paper out of her hand and balled it up, then chucked it into the deep-fryer where someone was busy making a new batch of fries. There was a sizzle, and Max, Cashier Guy, and I all watched as a puff of smoke rose from the greasy pit. I gave the guy a satisfied smirk, then grabbed Max's hand and pulled her away.

She grinned up at me and squeezed my hand. "Is it just me or was that jealousy I heard?"

I looked down at her. She was smiling like she knew something I didn't, her whole face lit up, looking at me. Dang, I loved her so much. I grinned back at her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "You're crazy, Max."

10. Somebody's Watching Me – DJ Brian Howe

Max looked up from the book she was reading. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled, and she felt antsy. She shut the book with an audible snap and stood up. The entire room was dark except for the small aura of light her lamp emitted.

She could feel someone watching her.

"Hey! Who's there?" She called, not wanting to admit it, but nervous all the same.

A small scuffling noise came from one corner of the room, and Max found herself in a fighting stance. "Hello?"

The noise stopped as suddenly as it had come, and when Max heard the sound of quiet breathing, she knew who the "intruder" was.

"Good night, Fang," she said, grinning and rolling her eyes, heading up the stairs to bed.

11. Star Wars

"I..am…your…father…"

"Noooo!"

I rolled my eyes at the movie Fang had chosen to watch. We were in the family room, cuddling on the sofa eating popcorn and watching a Star Wars marathon. Since I'd never seen any Star Wars movies, Fang had decided it was time to enlighten me. So far it had been all light sabers and painfully obviously fake stunts and no real action. Okay, the light sabers were pretty awesome. But I was pretending I didn't like it, just to keep my game face. I will admit to myself though, it actually kinda cool. All the same, I scoffed at the screen as Luke hung from the scaffolding, wailing pitifully for his sister Leia. "How pathetic."

Fang rolled his eyes. "You've been saying that the entire movie, Max. Admit it—you like the action."

I cuddled into his side more. "I'm not admitting anything. I was merely pointing out that he sounds pretty stupid, all 'nooooo' when—"

"Oh, Max." Fang grinned and kissed the top of my head. "You know you love it."

"I do not!" I insisted stubbornly. He just shook his head. Then, after a moment or two, I added, "but, even if I did like it, um, how would you know?"

He just looked at me and smiled secretively. "Oh, let's just say it's kind of nice to have a mind-reader in the family sometimes."

like them? love them? Review!

and also-- if you have any ideas for other oneshots, I'll totally use them and dedicate it to you!

ALSO-------

Another Authoress' Note: Megan (my bffne!) aka goldenwings, has decided to help me write a SEQUEL to MR: Back to Work, my other Maximum Ride story! Keep checking in for updates please :D

love you all!!!!

-mL