It's a Joyful World
There's great potential for a who-dun-it in the Nurse Joys, I mean, think about it, a bunch of identical girls with the same name
who are impossible to tell apart. Or are they? Read on! And if you own Pokémon and want to sue me, I'll just have to hide behind
a bunch of my identical sisters. *sticks out her tongue*
It was nighttime. All was silent in the Pokémon Centre, except for the beeping of monitors. Nurse Joy sat at her desk filling out
paperwork. She held her aching head, scowled and tried to concentrate on the task. Her pencil scraped on the paper and she
winced; the beeping monitors seemed to taunt her. "Your Pokémon are fighting fit!" ran through her mind over and over like a
broken record, the result of saying it all day like a broken record. Being cheerful made her sick. The beeping only seemed to
grow louder. Her slender hand tightened around the pencil and the end of it snapped, at the very same time something snapped in
the young nurse's mind. She stood suddenly, throwing the pencil down on her desk. Throwing open the Pokémon Centre door, she said,
"We'll see how fighting fit they are!" and then ran cackling into the night.
A few days later, Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu trudged into the city after a long, grueling trek through the forest. Which city?
Does it matter?
"Let's go straight to the Pokémon Gym, I want to win another badge!" Ash exclaimed.
Apparently it doesn't matter. Ash peeled Pikachu up off the pavement and started off towards the nearest gym.
"Wait Ash!" Misty cried, "We have to go to the Pokémon Centre first."
"I guess you're right..." the young twerp grumbled. The trio walked off, not noticing that they were being followed.
"Nurse!" Ash yelled, ringing the bell on the front desk of the Pokémon Centre, "Hey, NURSE!" After a few minutes, Pikachu hopped
out of Ash's arms and wandered into the back area of the centre. "Pika...chu?" it called, peeking into each door along the way.
Misty and Brock sat down to wait while Ash continued ringing the bell, only now he seemed to be doing it for fun.
"PIKA! Pikapi!" Pikachu cried suddenly.
"Huh?" Ash said, looking up from the bell, "I'm coming Pikachu!" Twerp Boy ran down the hall where he heard Pikachu's voice come
from, followed closely by Misty and Brock. They found Pikachu standing in front of a partially closed door with a sheet of paper.
"Piiika...!" the mouse said, handing Ash the paper. It said "All work and no play makes Joy go something-something." over and
over, filling the page.
Ash blinked. "Where did you find this Pikachu?" he said. Pikachu looked worried, then pushed open the door. The three kids gasped.
The room was filled with papers right to the ceiling, there was a circle of floor space big enough for someone to sit cross-legged,
and a typewriter. Brock grabbed a few papers off the top of a pile and read them.
"They all say the same thing!" he concluded.
"Did the nurse here go crazy or something?" Ash said. "She must have!" Misty answered with a shudder.
"It's really a shame for someone so pretty to be insane...." Brock said airly, and as a reward for such an observant comment he got
a whack with Misty's mallet. "Stay focused! We have to find this Nurse Joy, she could hurt someone!"
During this time of convenient plot summarizing, Togepi had wandered off and Pikachu had followed to ensure the little demon's
safety. The egg wandered between the stacks of paper, burbling happily to itself. Then, for no reason at all, it started pushing on
a stack of paper, still chirping. "PiPiPi!" Pikachu called, shoving the baby Pokémon out of the way as papers tumbled off the pile.
"Hey, Pikachu? Where are you?" Ash called. A muffled cry came from under a pile of sheets. Ash dug through them until Pikachu
bounded out. "You shouldn't be playing in these papers Pikachu, Togepi might get hurt!" The egg wandered by and squeaked for no
reason at all. Pikachu ground it's teeth and wondered why it had to be the focus of these pointless time fillers.
Team Twerp went to the police station. Who knows or cares how they got there?
"We've had reports of a mysterious girl causing trouble in the past few days." the ubiquitous Jenny said with concern, holding
Brock at arm's length. "The past few days?" Ash and Misty echoed. Jenny became annoyed. "Yes, that's what I said." Everyone blinked
and she continued. "It's nothing serious, just some minor vandalism and trespassing charges, but this girl really seems to be crazy!
Witnesses say she pulls underwear off their washing line, puts them on her head, and runs off laughing. And she always says
something about 'Your Pokémon are fighting fit'..."
"Nurse Joy!" Ash and Misty said at the same time.
"Do you kids have an inner ear problem or something...?" Jenny asked. They all blinked.
Ash said, "Well, let's go find this Nurse Joy! If that's who she is." Jenny rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I was waiting for you kids to
come help me, it's AWFULLY hard to catch crooks by myself."
"Why are you so sarcastic?" Misty snapped.
"This is Bulbasaur's story, don't blame me! And besides, I've got PMS!" the police officer snapped back.
"Can we go now?" Ash said meekly.
After a few more minutes of hissy catfighting, Ash-tachi and the Officer Jenny set out. It was a bit of a squeeze, but they all
got into Jenny's motorcycle.
"If the plot depends on us, why don't you get a nice van or something?" Brock gasped. The three kids squirmed inside the sidecar.
Jenny said, "Well, I'm wearing a skirt on a motorcycle, and do you see me complaining?" The kids nodded appreciatively, and Jenny
continued.
"There's a Nurse's Convention in town today, if the crazy Nurse Joy is anywhere she might be there." The kids continued squirming
and fighting for more space, and during the shuffle Pikachu got squashed into the bottom of the sidecar. "Piiiiiika...!" it cried,
as feet came down on it and veins popped out in the little rodent's forehead. "CHUUUUUUU!" Pikachu released a Thundershock to
voice its disapproval.
The motorcycle skidded to a halt and Ash, Misty, Brock and Jenny groaned and lay twitching on the ground. Miraculously, Togepi was
fine. "Brrrrriiiiii!" It squeaked, waving its tiny arms. "Pi Pikachu?!" Pikachu snapped. "Cha..." ("Why won't you die?! Ahem...")
Togepi tried to pulla Japanese raspberry at Pikachu, but its arms were too short, so it settled for sticking out its tiny tongue.
Everyone stood and brushed themelves off.
Suddenly, Misty heard a sound in the bushes. She turned to look for the source, but there was nothing there. She was about to
mention this to her companions when she saw a menacing figure creeping up behind Ash.
"Ash! Look out!" She shrieked. The dimwitted boy was too slow however; the figure leaped towards him and...pulled down his pants.
The figure, who was now obviously Nurse Joy, laughed maniacally and then ran away. Ash whined and hopped about, trying to pull up
his pants and cover his Jigglypuff-printed underwear. Misty laughed until she cried at this sight. Brock was smitten by the Joy and
amused by Ash and couldn't decide whether to laugh or drool, so he settled on a stupid giggle. Jenny hadn't noticed anything that
was going on because she had been digging through her bag for a Midol. "Oh, what's so funny?!" she demanded.
Ash managed to get his pants up and wailed, "That crazy Nurse Joy! She pulled down my pants!"
"We'd better find her before she progresses to any worse crimes." Jenny said sarcastically, "Next time she might accidently pull
down your underwear too."
Misty laughed even harder. Brock didn't really notice. Pikachu was plotting ways to kill Togepi and Togepi was plotting ways to
nearly kill itself and Pikachu, so they didn't notice either. Everyone piled back into the motorcycle and continued to the Nurses'
Convention.
Ten minutes later, Team Twerp was arguing like seasoned siblings.
"Jennyyyyy! Misty's poking me! Make her stop!" Ash snivelled.
"Well he started it! He stomped on my foot!" Misty retorted.
"I gotta go to the bathroom, how much farther is it?" Brock mewled.
Pikachu and Togepi were at each other's throats like true blue relatives.
"THAT'S it!" Jenny snapped, "If you 5 don't knock it off I'm turning this motorcycle around and we'll just let the crazy Joy wreak
havoc on the city and the rest of this story will have absolutely no plot!"
The kids and Pokémon quickly shut up. Jenny squealed her bike to a halt outside a big, important looking building.
"Try to catch the Joy quickly, we have to go to a commercial break soon." Jenny barked, and stormed off to the drugstore. "Oh
right, commercial break." Ash agreed. A Chikorita jumped out of the bushes. "Who's that Pokémon?" the kids chimed in unison,
"It's Chikorita!" The grass Pokémon trilled its name, and bounded off.
"Alright, let's go!" said Ash. "Right." Misty and Brock said.
They entered the building to find a huge room full of Nurse Joys.
"Wow, look at all the Nurse Joys!" Ash gaped for no apparent reason.
Misty smacked Brock to make him pick his jaw up off the floor and said, "Well, how are we going to find the crazy Nurse Joy? There
must be hundreds of them...!" Suddenly Ash got an idea. He screamed in pain and whimpered, "Make the bad thinking go away!"
Misty gasped. "Ash had a thought?! That can only mean...!"
"My, you two are swift today." A familiar voice said with a touch of sarcasm.
"BULBY!" Ash and Misty turned to see the author and her Parasect Mintyfresh standing behind them. Ash pointed to her and said to
Misty, "This was my idea! To ask the author for help!"
Bulby rolled her eyes. "Of course you had an idea to ask me! I MADE you have that idea and that's the only reason you had an idea
in the first place."
Ash blinked. "Huuuuh?"
"Never mind..." Bulby sighed.
"So Bulby, how can we tell which Nurse Joy is crazy?" Misty begged of the other girl.
Mintyfresh got bored of the authorly procedings and scuttled over to harass Pikachu.
"Simple Misty. Brock can tell the difference between any Nurse Joy he's ever seen and instantly know where she comes from. But
there's a little problem." Bulby ambled over to Brock and poked him. He fell over and clattered like a wooden plank. "The sight of
so many Nurse Joys has fried his brain." the author explained, as a Chansey dragged Brock away, "You'll have to find someone else."
"Now where are we gonna find someone as pathetic as Brock?" Ash asked dimly.
Bulby giggled shrilly. "That's almost funny, you're getting better! Right, so to tell the Nurses apart, you'll need someone who
has something in common with Brock." Ash and Misty proceded to think about this. Bulby left in search of a Tim Hortons, since she
knew they'd be a while.
About half an hour later, Bulby re-entered the Nurses' Convention to find Ash and Misty sitting on a bench, exhausted.
"Didja think too hard?" She smirked, slurping her cappuccino.
"We give up Bulby." Misty said tonelessly, "Who has something in common with Brock?"
Bulby grinned an irritating grin. "We? How cute. So you're a couple." Misty's head grew really big and firey. "I DON'T LIKE HIM!!"
she thundered. Ash was too exhausted from thinking to notice. Bulby just giggled. A vein popped out on Misty's forehead, but she
knew better than to throw a hissy fit on the author.
"OK fine, I'll tell you." Bulby said, "Brock, James, and Ash's Squirtle all have the same voice actor, that's what they have in
common. If anyone can tell Joys, it's them. Mintyfresh, what did you do now?" Bulby asked her Pokémon.
Minty left the crying Pikachu and came over to explain herself. "Sect sect! Parrrrasect rassssect sect sect Parasssect!"
Ash picked up Pikachu and demanded, "What did your Parasect say to Pikachu?" Bulby nodded to
Minty. "None of your concern." the author said, her grin widening, "But anyway, you two had better find James or this story will
just keep being pointless, okies?"
"Yeah, let's go Ash. Not a word Bulby!" Misty snarled. Bulby fell over in a hysterical fit.
Misty grabbed Ash and stormed out of the building, and Pikachu followed them, still sniffling.
Misty stopped and dropped Ash on the sidewalk. "Alright. Now how are we going to find Team Rocket?" she mused, mostly to
herself.
"They usually find us." Ash offered, brushing off his jacket. "Pika!" Pikachu agreed.
Ash and Misty looked at each other, blinked, and then took a few experimental steps away from Pikachu. That was enough; a metal
claw dropped out of the sky and snatched the rodent. The kids looked up to see Jessie, James, and Meowth cackling in their
balloon directly above their heads.
"Prepare for trouble, we're so evil it's scary!"
"Make it double, Bulby's got a rhyming dictionary!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples withi-"
Ash cut in. "Bulbasaur, go!" he said, throwing a Pokéball.
Bulby ran by, grabbed the Pokéball in mid-air, and cried, "BulbaSAUR!"
"Not you!" Ash wailed. "Fine, ruin my fun." The author stuck out her tongue and tossed the Pokéball, and the intended Bulbasaur
came out.
"HEY! Pay attention to us!" Jessie yelled.
"Bulbasaur, grab Pikachu with Vine Whip!" The seed Pokémon obeyed and pulled Pikachu from the metal claw. "Now, grab James!"
Bulbasaur wrapped its other vine whip around James and lifted him out of the balloon. He squealed fearfully, "You're supposed
to beat Weezing in battle, not meeeee!" Ash finished his odd little plan, "Pikachu, Thunderbolt!" The mouse sent a bolt of
electricity into the balloon and a hole opened in it.
"Dat was woise dan usual!" Meowth wailed.
"I told you we should have used the highly explosive giant robot!" Jessie said sharply.
"Most of Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaain...!" They disappeared into a little sparkly in the sky.
"Alright, Team Rocket's gone now all we have to do is say goodbye to our Friend of the Day and-"
Misty clobbered Ash, "We still have work to do!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot." Ash said dimly.
"Could you put me down? This is embarassing!" James pleaded. The twerps turned to him. "First you have to help us find the
crazy Nurse Joy. And if you don't this story will never end." Misty told him.
James nodded vigorously, "I want this story to end just as much as you do!", then he added under his breath, "Bulby's crazy!
She scares me!"
Ash's Bulbasaur set James down and retracted its vine whip, and Ash recalled it. "Alright, let's go find that Nurse Joy!" Ash
said enthusiastically. Pikachu hadn't said anything for the last few minutes, so it added, "Pika!"
Back inside the Nurses' Convention, Ash pulled out a Pokéball and said, "Squirtle, I choose you!" The turtle appeared and
exclaimed "Squirtle Squirt!"
"Okay, Squirtle, James, we need you two to figure out where these Nurse Joys come from." Ash instructed them. The Rocket and
the Pokémon struck thoughtful poses and observed the crowds of Nurse Joys milling about.
After a moment, Squirtle pointed to a Nurse Joy and said, "Squirtle Squirtle Squirt!"
"Viridian City?" James asked it. Squirtle nodded. "You think so? I could have sworn that Joy
over there was from Viridian...?"
They continued this banter, while Ash and Misty promptly lost interest.
"Hey Ash, what city are we in anyways?" Misty suddenly asked. Twerp Boy scratched his head.
"That's a good question. We should have asked Bulby."
Misty snorted. "I'm sick of Bulby! Why can't her stories be sane like they used to be?" A Nurse Joy ran by and handed Misty
a Caterpie. She turned blue and started to gasp, then jumped on Ash's back and screamed hysterically. The Caterpie beamed and
crawled off.
"Pika..." Pikachu sighed.
"Tokay Tokay!" Togepi squeaked.
"Pikachu!" the mouse snapped at the egg. "Cha..." ("Shaddup! Ahem...")
Then, Pikachu noticed a strange figure lurking in a corner. It ran over to James and pulled his pant leg.
"No, THAT Nurse is from Celadon and THAT one is fr-hmm?" he said. Pikachu pointed to the figure in the corner.
"Squirtle Squirtle Squirt Squirtle!" Squirtle exclaimed, pointing also at the shadowy person.
"She's the Joy from this city?!" James repeated, confused, "And where is this city, anyways?"
Squirtle rubbed the back of its head sheepishly. "Iiiiirtle....Squirtle Squirtle, Squirtle Squirt Squirtle..." ("Ummm....I
don't know, Bulby never told me...") James and Pikachu facefaulted.
By this time, the Joy had tiptoed from the corner to behind Ash, who was busy sweatdropping at Misty's hysterical bug
tantrum. Just as she was about to grab his pants, however, she was blasted by a jet of water from Squirtle. Misty stopped
screaming, Ash stopped sweatdropping, and James and the Pokémon came over to see who it was. The Nurse Joy, now soaking wet,
ran around screaming, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling! There's a Tentacool in my soup!"
"I think it's safe to say that she's crazy..." James ventured.
Ash growled. "That's the second time you've tried to pull down my pants! Nobody pantses Ash Ketchum and gets away with it!"
On a whim, Misty yanked Ash's pants down and collapsed, laughing fit to die. He wailed and hopped around, trying to pull his
pants back up, but succeeded only in tripping. Pikachu pulled a Brock face and said, "Pika, Pika Pikachu." (That, was very
disturbing.) Squirtle and James nodded.
Ash finally got his pants back up and said, "Let's get Officer Jenny to arrest this Nurse Joy before she causes any more
trouble!"
At "causes any more trouble", Misty shook even harder with laughter. Togepi slipped out of her arms and tottered over to the
Joy. Joy looked at the egg and said, "Hello little salami! Why, aren't you the cutest little piece of luncheon meat I ever
saw!" She grabbed Togepi and started doing the Chansey Dance.
Then, Officer Jenny burst into the building.
"Are you kids done yet? It's almost time for Pokémon Karaeokémon!" she growled, tossing back a handful of Midol.
"She's right there! Arrest her!" Ash whined.
"Great green gobs of greasy grimy Sentret guts...!" the crazy Joy sang. Misty took her Togepi back fearfully, and Jenny
handcuffed the Joy and hauled her off to jail.
"Can I go now...?" James whimpered. "I think we did everything...?" Ash muttered, "Saved the town, filled some time,...oh!
We didn't see a new Pokémon!"
Bulby jogged into the building with a Togetic in her arms. "How about this?" she said. "Toooookaaaay!" the Togetic chirped.
She shoved it into James' arms and said, "Take this thing to the Boss, it's driving me nuts!" The Togetic hugged James and
cooed happily.
"Thanks Bulby!" he grinned, then ran off. "I'm dashing off again!"
"Are we done now Bulby?" Ash asked quietly. She shrugged.
"I dunno, I'm starting to like this fiction..." Brock entered the room from the First Aid station and his face turned bright
red at the sight of Bulby.
"Hmm? Oh stop it, I'm the author!" Bulby said. Brock slapped himself a few times. "Sorry." he said sheepishly.
"Brock, how do we get rid of her?" Misty whispered.
Brock pointed out the window and said loudly, "Hey, look guys! Isn't that our friend OTOSHI over there?"
Bulby went starry-eyed. "Where?!" she gasped, then dashed away, leaving an author-shaped cloud of smoke.
"Nice plot device!" Misty said. "Why won't anyone tell me what a plot device is?!" Ash wailed. Pikachu patted him on the back.
"Let's get out of here before Bulby comes back!" Brock said, and the two other kids and Pikachu nodded. They ran off into
another stretch of random forest. Bulby strolled after them, carrying Otoshi over her shoulder.
"There's perks to being the author!" she grinned.
The End
There's great potential for a who-dun-it in the Nurse Joys, I mean, think about it, a bunch of identical girls with the same name
who are impossible to tell apart. Or are they? Read on! And if you own Pokémon and want to sue me, I'll just have to hide behind
a bunch of my identical sisters. *sticks out her tongue*
It was nighttime. All was silent in the Pokémon Centre, except for the beeping of monitors. Nurse Joy sat at her desk filling out
paperwork. She held her aching head, scowled and tried to concentrate on the task. Her pencil scraped on the paper and she
winced; the beeping monitors seemed to taunt her. "Your Pokémon are fighting fit!" ran through her mind over and over like a
broken record, the result of saying it all day like a broken record. Being cheerful made her sick. The beeping only seemed to
grow louder. Her slender hand tightened around the pencil and the end of it snapped, at the very same time something snapped in
the young nurse's mind. She stood suddenly, throwing the pencil down on her desk. Throwing open the Pokémon Centre door, she said,
"We'll see how fighting fit they are!" and then ran cackling into the night.
A few days later, Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu trudged into the city after a long, grueling trek through the forest. Which city?
Does it matter?
"Let's go straight to the Pokémon Gym, I want to win another badge!" Ash exclaimed.
Apparently it doesn't matter. Ash peeled Pikachu up off the pavement and started off towards the nearest gym.
"Wait Ash!" Misty cried, "We have to go to the Pokémon Centre first."
"I guess you're right..." the young twerp grumbled. The trio walked off, not noticing that they were being followed.
"Nurse!" Ash yelled, ringing the bell on the front desk of the Pokémon Centre, "Hey, NURSE!" After a few minutes, Pikachu hopped
out of Ash's arms and wandered into the back area of the centre. "Pika...chu?" it called, peeking into each door along the way.
Misty and Brock sat down to wait while Ash continued ringing the bell, only now he seemed to be doing it for fun.
"PIKA! Pikapi!" Pikachu cried suddenly.
"Huh?" Ash said, looking up from the bell, "I'm coming Pikachu!" Twerp Boy ran down the hall where he heard Pikachu's voice come
from, followed closely by Misty and Brock. They found Pikachu standing in front of a partially closed door with a sheet of paper.
"Piiika...!" the mouse said, handing Ash the paper. It said "All work and no play makes Joy go something-something." over and
over, filling the page.
Ash blinked. "Where did you find this Pikachu?" he said. Pikachu looked worried, then pushed open the door. The three kids gasped.
The room was filled with papers right to the ceiling, there was a circle of floor space big enough for someone to sit cross-legged,
and a typewriter. Brock grabbed a few papers off the top of a pile and read them.
"They all say the same thing!" he concluded.
"Did the nurse here go crazy or something?" Ash said. "She must have!" Misty answered with a shudder.
"It's really a shame for someone so pretty to be insane...." Brock said airly, and as a reward for such an observant comment he got
a whack with Misty's mallet. "Stay focused! We have to find this Nurse Joy, she could hurt someone!"
During this time of convenient plot summarizing, Togepi had wandered off and Pikachu had followed to ensure the little demon's
safety. The egg wandered between the stacks of paper, burbling happily to itself. Then, for no reason at all, it started pushing on
a stack of paper, still chirping. "PiPiPi!" Pikachu called, shoving the baby Pokémon out of the way as papers tumbled off the pile.
"Hey, Pikachu? Where are you?" Ash called. A muffled cry came from under a pile of sheets. Ash dug through them until Pikachu
bounded out. "You shouldn't be playing in these papers Pikachu, Togepi might get hurt!" The egg wandered by and squeaked for no
reason at all. Pikachu ground it's teeth and wondered why it had to be the focus of these pointless time fillers.
Team Twerp went to the police station. Who knows or cares how they got there?
"We've had reports of a mysterious girl causing trouble in the past few days." the ubiquitous Jenny said with concern, holding
Brock at arm's length. "The past few days?" Ash and Misty echoed. Jenny became annoyed. "Yes, that's what I said." Everyone blinked
and she continued. "It's nothing serious, just some minor vandalism and trespassing charges, but this girl really seems to be crazy!
Witnesses say she pulls underwear off their washing line, puts them on her head, and runs off laughing. And she always says
something about 'Your Pokémon are fighting fit'..."
"Nurse Joy!" Ash and Misty said at the same time.
"Do you kids have an inner ear problem or something...?" Jenny asked. They all blinked.
Ash said, "Well, let's go find this Nurse Joy! If that's who she is." Jenny rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I was waiting for you kids to
come help me, it's AWFULLY hard to catch crooks by myself."
"Why are you so sarcastic?" Misty snapped.
"This is Bulbasaur's story, don't blame me! And besides, I've got PMS!" the police officer snapped back.
"Can we go now?" Ash said meekly.
After a few more minutes of hissy catfighting, Ash-tachi and the Officer Jenny set out. It was a bit of a squeeze, but they all
got into Jenny's motorcycle.
"If the plot depends on us, why don't you get a nice van or something?" Brock gasped. The three kids squirmed inside the sidecar.
Jenny said, "Well, I'm wearing a skirt on a motorcycle, and do you see me complaining?" The kids nodded appreciatively, and Jenny
continued.
"There's a Nurse's Convention in town today, if the crazy Nurse Joy is anywhere she might be there." The kids continued squirming
and fighting for more space, and during the shuffle Pikachu got squashed into the bottom of the sidecar. "Piiiiiika...!" it cried,
as feet came down on it and veins popped out in the little rodent's forehead. "CHUUUUUUU!" Pikachu released a Thundershock to
voice its disapproval.
The motorcycle skidded to a halt and Ash, Misty, Brock and Jenny groaned and lay twitching on the ground. Miraculously, Togepi was
fine. "Brrrrriiiiii!" It squeaked, waving its tiny arms. "Pi Pikachu?!" Pikachu snapped. "Cha..." ("Why won't you die?! Ahem...")
Togepi tried to pulla Japanese raspberry at Pikachu, but its arms were too short, so it settled for sticking out its tiny tongue.
Everyone stood and brushed themelves off.
Suddenly, Misty heard a sound in the bushes. She turned to look for the source, but there was nothing there. She was about to
mention this to her companions when she saw a menacing figure creeping up behind Ash.
"Ash! Look out!" She shrieked. The dimwitted boy was too slow however; the figure leaped towards him and...pulled down his pants.
The figure, who was now obviously Nurse Joy, laughed maniacally and then ran away. Ash whined and hopped about, trying to pull up
his pants and cover his Jigglypuff-printed underwear. Misty laughed until she cried at this sight. Brock was smitten by the Joy and
amused by Ash and couldn't decide whether to laugh or drool, so he settled on a stupid giggle. Jenny hadn't noticed anything that
was going on because she had been digging through her bag for a Midol. "Oh, what's so funny?!" she demanded.
Ash managed to get his pants up and wailed, "That crazy Nurse Joy! She pulled down my pants!"
"We'd better find her before she progresses to any worse crimes." Jenny said sarcastically, "Next time she might accidently pull
down your underwear too."
Misty laughed even harder. Brock didn't really notice. Pikachu was plotting ways to kill Togepi and Togepi was plotting ways to
nearly kill itself and Pikachu, so they didn't notice either. Everyone piled back into the motorcycle and continued to the Nurses'
Convention.
Ten minutes later, Team Twerp was arguing like seasoned siblings.
"Jennyyyyy! Misty's poking me! Make her stop!" Ash snivelled.
"Well he started it! He stomped on my foot!" Misty retorted.
"I gotta go to the bathroom, how much farther is it?" Brock mewled.
Pikachu and Togepi were at each other's throats like true blue relatives.
"THAT'S it!" Jenny snapped, "If you 5 don't knock it off I'm turning this motorcycle around and we'll just let the crazy Joy wreak
havoc on the city and the rest of this story will have absolutely no plot!"
The kids and Pokémon quickly shut up. Jenny squealed her bike to a halt outside a big, important looking building.
"Try to catch the Joy quickly, we have to go to a commercial break soon." Jenny barked, and stormed off to the drugstore. "Oh
right, commercial break." Ash agreed. A Chikorita jumped out of the bushes. "Who's that Pokémon?" the kids chimed in unison,
"It's Chikorita!" The grass Pokémon trilled its name, and bounded off.
"Alright, let's go!" said Ash. "Right." Misty and Brock said.
They entered the building to find a huge room full of Nurse Joys.
"Wow, look at all the Nurse Joys!" Ash gaped for no apparent reason.
Misty smacked Brock to make him pick his jaw up off the floor and said, "Well, how are we going to find the crazy Nurse Joy? There
must be hundreds of them...!" Suddenly Ash got an idea. He screamed in pain and whimpered, "Make the bad thinking go away!"
Misty gasped. "Ash had a thought?! That can only mean...!"
"My, you two are swift today." A familiar voice said with a touch of sarcasm.
"BULBY!" Ash and Misty turned to see the author and her Parasect Mintyfresh standing behind them. Ash pointed to her and said to
Misty, "This was my idea! To ask the author for help!"
Bulby rolled her eyes. "Of course you had an idea to ask me! I MADE you have that idea and that's the only reason you had an idea
in the first place."
Ash blinked. "Huuuuh?"
"Never mind..." Bulby sighed.
"So Bulby, how can we tell which Nurse Joy is crazy?" Misty begged of the other girl.
Mintyfresh got bored of the authorly procedings and scuttled over to harass Pikachu.
"Simple Misty. Brock can tell the difference between any Nurse Joy he's ever seen and instantly know where she comes from. But
there's a little problem." Bulby ambled over to Brock and poked him. He fell over and clattered like a wooden plank. "The sight of
so many Nurse Joys has fried his brain." the author explained, as a Chansey dragged Brock away, "You'll have to find someone else."
"Now where are we gonna find someone as pathetic as Brock?" Ash asked dimly.
Bulby giggled shrilly. "That's almost funny, you're getting better! Right, so to tell the Nurses apart, you'll need someone who
has something in common with Brock." Ash and Misty proceded to think about this. Bulby left in search of a Tim Hortons, since she
knew they'd be a while.
About half an hour later, Bulby re-entered the Nurses' Convention to find Ash and Misty sitting on a bench, exhausted.
"Didja think too hard?" She smirked, slurping her cappuccino.
"We give up Bulby." Misty said tonelessly, "Who has something in common with Brock?"
Bulby grinned an irritating grin. "We? How cute. So you're a couple." Misty's head grew really big and firey. "I DON'T LIKE HIM!!"
she thundered. Ash was too exhausted from thinking to notice. Bulby just giggled. A vein popped out on Misty's forehead, but she
knew better than to throw a hissy fit on the author.
"OK fine, I'll tell you." Bulby said, "Brock, James, and Ash's Squirtle all have the same voice actor, that's what they have in
common. If anyone can tell Joys, it's them. Mintyfresh, what did you do now?" Bulby asked her Pokémon.
Minty left the crying Pikachu and came over to explain herself. "Sect sect! Parrrrasect rassssect sect sect Parasssect!"
Ash picked up Pikachu and demanded, "What did your Parasect say to Pikachu?" Bulby nodded to
Minty. "None of your concern." the author said, her grin widening, "But anyway, you two had better find James or this story will
just keep being pointless, okies?"
"Yeah, let's go Ash. Not a word Bulby!" Misty snarled. Bulby fell over in a hysterical fit.
Misty grabbed Ash and stormed out of the building, and Pikachu followed them, still sniffling.
Misty stopped and dropped Ash on the sidewalk. "Alright. Now how are we going to find Team Rocket?" she mused, mostly to
herself.
"They usually find us." Ash offered, brushing off his jacket. "Pika!" Pikachu agreed.
Ash and Misty looked at each other, blinked, and then took a few experimental steps away from Pikachu. That was enough; a metal
claw dropped out of the sky and snatched the rodent. The kids looked up to see Jessie, James, and Meowth cackling in their
balloon directly above their heads.
"Prepare for trouble, we're so evil it's scary!"
"Make it double, Bulby's got a rhyming dictionary!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples withi-"
Ash cut in. "Bulbasaur, go!" he said, throwing a Pokéball.
Bulby ran by, grabbed the Pokéball in mid-air, and cried, "BulbaSAUR!"
"Not you!" Ash wailed. "Fine, ruin my fun." The author stuck out her tongue and tossed the Pokéball, and the intended Bulbasaur
came out.
"HEY! Pay attention to us!" Jessie yelled.
"Bulbasaur, grab Pikachu with Vine Whip!" The seed Pokémon obeyed and pulled Pikachu from the metal claw. "Now, grab James!"
Bulbasaur wrapped its other vine whip around James and lifted him out of the balloon. He squealed fearfully, "You're supposed
to beat Weezing in battle, not meeeee!" Ash finished his odd little plan, "Pikachu, Thunderbolt!" The mouse sent a bolt of
electricity into the balloon and a hole opened in it.
"Dat was woise dan usual!" Meowth wailed.
"I told you we should have used the highly explosive giant robot!" Jessie said sharply.
"Most of Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaain...!" They disappeared into a little sparkly in the sky.
"Alright, Team Rocket's gone now all we have to do is say goodbye to our Friend of the Day and-"
Misty clobbered Ash, "We still have work to do!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot." Ash said dimly.
"Could you put me down? This is embarassing!" James pleaded. The twerps turned to him. "First you have to help us find the
crazy Nurse Joy. And if you don't this story will never end." Misty told him.
James nodded vigorously, "I want this story to end just as much as you do!", then he added under his breath, "Bulby's crazy!
She scares me!"
Ash's Bulbasaur set James down and retracted its vine whip, and Ash recalled it. "Alright, let's go find that Nurse Joy!" Ash
said enthusiastically. Pikachu hadn't said anything for the last few minutes, so it added, "Pika!"
Back inside the Nurses' Convention, Ash pulled out a Pokéball and said, "Squirtle, I choose you!" The turtle appeared and
exclaimed "Squirtle Squirt!"
"Okay, Squirtle, James, we need you two to figure out where these Nurse Joys come from." Ash instructed them. The Rocket and
the Pokémon struck thoughtful poses and observed the crowds of Nurse Joys milling about.
After a moment, Squirtle pointed to a Nurse Joy and said, "Squirtle Squirtle Squirt!"
"Viridian City?" James asked it. Squirtle nodded. "You think so? I could have sworn that Joy
over there was from Viridian...?"
They continued this banter, while Ash and Misty promptly lost interest.
"Hey Ash, what city are we in anyways?" Misty suddenly asked. Twerp Boy scratched his head.
"That's a good question. We should have asked Bulby."
Misty snorted. "I'm sick of Bulby! Why can't her stories be sane like they used to be?" A Nurse Joy ran by and handed Misty
a Caterpie. She turned blue and started to gasp, then jumped on Ash's back and screamed hysterically. The Caterpie beamed and
crawled off.
"Pika..." Pikachu sighed.
"Tokay Tokay!" Togepi squeaked.
"Pikachu!" the mouse snapped at the egg. "Cha..." ("Shaddup! Ahem...")
Then, Pikachu noticed a strange figure lurking in a corner. It ran over to James and pulled his pant leg.
"No, THAT Nurse is from Celadon and THAT one is fr-hmm?" he said. Pikachu pointed to the figure in the corner.
"Squirtle Squirtle Squirt Squirtle!" Squirtle exclaimed, pointing also at the shadowy person.
"She's the Joy from this city?!" James repeated, confused, "And where is this city, anyways?"
Squirtle rubbed the back of its head sheepishly. "Iiiiirtle....Squirtle Squirtle, Squirtle Squirt Squirtle..." ("Ummm....I
don't know, Bulby never told me...") James and Pikachu facefaulted.
By this time, the Joy had tiptoed from the corner to behind Ash, who was busy sweatdropping at Misty's hysterical bug
tantrum. Just as she was about to grab his pants, however, she was blasted by a jet of water from Squirtle. Misty stopped
screaming, Ash stopped sweatdropping, and James and the Pokémon came over to see who it was. The Nurse Joy, now soaking wet,
ran around screaming, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling! There's a Tentacool in my soup!"
"I think it's safe to say that she's crazy..." James ventured.
Ash growled. "That's the second time you've tried to pull down my pants! Nobody pantses Ash Ketchum and gets away with it!"
On a whim, Misty yanked Ash's pants down and collapsed, laughing fit to die. He wailed and hopped around, trying to pull his
pants back up, but succeeded only in tripping. Pikachu pulled a Brock face and said, "Pika, Pika Pikachu." (That, was very
disturbing.) Squirtle and James nodded.
Ash finally got his pants back up and said, "Let's get Officer Jenny to arrest this Nurse Joy before she causes any more
trouble!"
At "causes any more trouble", Misty shook even harder with laughter. Togepi slipped out of her arms and tottered over to the
Joy. Joy looked at the egg and said, "Hello little salami! Why, aren't you the cutest little piece of luncheon meat I ever
saw!" She grabbed Togepi and started doing the Chansey Dance.
Then, Officer Jenny burst into the building.
"Are you kids done yet? It's almost time for Pokémon Karaeokémon!" she growled, tossing back a handful of Midol.
"She's right there! Arrest her!" Ash whined.
"Great green gobs of greasy grimy Sentret guts...!" the crazy Joy sang. Misty took her Togepi back fearfully, and Jenny
handcuffed the Joy and hauled her off to jail.
"Can I go now...?" James whimpered. "I think we did everything...?" Ash muttered, "Saved the town, filled some time,...oh!
We didn't see a new Pokémon!"
Bulby jogged into the building with a Togetic in her arms. "How about this?" she said. "Toooookaaaay!" the Togetic chirped.
She shoved it into James' arms and said, "Take this thing to the Boss, it's driving me nuts!" The Togetic hugged James and
cooed happily.
"Thanks Bulby!" he grinned, then ran off. "I'm dashing off again!"
"Are we done now Bulby?" Ash asked quietly. She shrugged.
"I dunno, I'm starting to like this fiction..." Brock entered the room from the First Aid station and his face turned bright
red at the sight of Bulby.
"Hmm? Oh stop it, I'm the author!" Bulby said. Brock slapped himself a few times. "Sorry." he said sheepishly.
"Brock, how do we get rid of her?" Misty whispered.
Brock pointed out the window and said loudly, "Hey, look guys! Isn't that our friend OTOSHI over there?"
Bulby went starry-eyed. "Where?!" she gasped, then dashed away, leaving an author-shaped cloud of smoke.
"Nice plot device!" Misty said. "Why won't anyone tell me what a plot device is?!" Ash wailed. Pikachu patted him on the back.
"Let's get out of here before Bulby comes back!" Brock said, and the two other kids and Pikachu nodded. They ran off into
another stretch of random forest. Bulby strolled after them, carrying Otoshi over her shoulder.
"There's perks to being the author!" she grinned.
The End