TWILIGHT "Picture Perfect"

by shel

© july 2009

disclaimer: bella, edward, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to stephenie meyer and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…

rating: pg-13

summary: bella frets over missing perfect moments…

timeline: bella and edward's first anniversary…

archive: please don't without expressed permission…

notes:this idea grabbed hold after rereading certain sections of "breaking dawn" for the dozenth time within the first two days of its release and i knew the muse wouldn't set me free unless i wrote it down – unfortunately, i didn't anticipate real-life interfering for nearly a year with my completing it…at least the muse is forgiving…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…

"So far, so good, right?" I whispered as I tightened my grip on Edward's arm.

He kissed my temple, murmuring in my ear, "We wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure you were in complete control."

But my hand still didn't touch the door. "Maybe Emmett should've come wi--"

"Bella…You'll be fine. Alice saw."

"Unless something terrible suddenly happens which she couldn't s--"

"Bella…" He rubbed my arm in a comforting way.

I gazed into his topaz eyes. "Promise you'll get me out in time if you see…"

He kissed me in reply before he pushed open the door and we stepped inside. "Let's find the children's section."

"I don't know why I'm so nervous," I told him as my eyes darted around the bookstore, nervously taking in all the people browsing the shelves. "I've visited Charlie hundreds of times, I've been around Sue and the pack and I've been among some humans so why should I b--"

He interrupted my rambling with another kiss, one a bit more forceful than his earlier ones, and I knew he was becoming frustrated with my nerves. "I'd remind you to breathe but…"

I took an unnecessary deep breath anyway. "I'm okay," I tried to convince myself. "It's just a bookstore."

It opened six months ago but I've still been too nervous about my newborn status to think of visiting and, despite Alice's assurances, it took quite a bit of dazzling by Edward to get me into the car this morning. "I can order books online," I started to turn around, "no need to stay," I tugged his sleeve, "why don't we spend the time in our meadow and continue celebrating our anniversary alone."

He shook his head and didn't budge, "Number one, it's about to pour and Alice would be very upset if your brand new ensemble was ruined. And then we'll all have to live with her in that mood."

"So I'll change first. Besides," I grumbled, "she's psychic, she should know better than to dress me inappropriately."

"Number two," he ignored me, "Esme has already requested a sleepover for Nessie so we'll have plenty of time to continue celebrating alone later. Look around, Bella, all the books waiting…"

I did take another look and was hit with a sudden burst of excitement. "I think Children's is in the back," I motioned as I squeezed his hand before immediately apologizing for forgetting that I was still, for the short term, stronger than him. I was so extremely careful around Renesmee and my dad but I tended to forget around my vampire family.

"Relax, Bella, this was nothing." His amused chuckle didn't do much to ease my mind. Until I caught the dark amber sparkle in his eye that would have caused me to blush had I still the ability.

He was pretty sure I accidentally cracked one of his ribs last night when we both broke another headboard in an unexpected recreation of our honeymoon. If Emmett ever found out…I turned and buried my face in Edward's chest. It only made him laugh aloud as he rubbed my shoulders.

"Just because you no longer blush," he softly spoke, "does not mean you still do not entrance me."

"You must love me," I mumbled in frustration. "Who else would when I embarrass myself so easily?"

"Silly Bella…" He tilted my chin up and I closed my eyes in anticipation of his kiss.

"Bella?"

I snapped my head in the direction of the faintly familiar voice. I turned around and Edward's arms locked around me as I pasted a smile on my face to see Angela Weber approaching.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home for a visit?" I nervously allowed myself her embrace, holding my breath. "I would've made sure we had time to catch up because Ben and I are heading back to campus now and don't really have the time."

"Spur of the moment decision on our part," Edward apologized as I quickly backed into the safety of his arms again. "Picking up books for school?"

She shook her head, "Ben wanted the latest issue of some graphic novel." She nodded her head towards the far corner. "We've been here over an hour and are running so late. Maybe you could help speed him up," she looked at Edward.

My eyes must have signaled my panic but Edward kissed me on the forehead and joked, "Speedy's my middle name."

"Thanks, Edward," Angela sighed. "I knew we should've gotten here earlier but…Are you okay, Bella? You're so pale."

"Sorry…" I apologized as I continued to watch Edward's retreating form. How could he leave me alone with her? This was such a mistake. I wasn't ready for a crowded little store much less old friends. I needed to get out, get away.

"Have I done anything to offend you?"

Startled, I turned back to Angela. To my greater surprise, I was now standing a good two feet away from her.

"I know our e-mailing got a little sparse over the past year but I didn't think I'd done an--"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I hugged her without thinking, apologizing when I heard her groan. "Sorry," I apologized again, quickly disentangling myself from her, relieved I did seem to be in control of my thirst. "You haven't done anything wrong. I'm the one who takes forever to write."

"I'm the same," she offered, "letting too much time go by between messages. This last semester was harder than I expected and there were some nights I didn't want to be even in the same room as my laptop."

"And before you know it, three, four weeks have gone by," I acknowledged. I knew well how time could pass in the blink of an eye. All it took was one look at my daughter. "I'm sure you did great in your classes."

"I'm not Ivy League material," she admitted, "but I'm pleased."

"I'm not Ivy League material either," I muttered even though I knew she hadn't meant it as an insult.

"Bella…" I heard Edward's exasperated sigh.

Even though I knew she couldn't have heard him, I nervously and quickly added, "Before we came here, I did shoot off a thank you for your e-card the other day. It's very sweet that you remembered our anniversary."

She smiled shyly as if I was making too big a deal of her gesture. "How'd you celebrate?"

"Just a simple dinner alone," I smiled, recalling the ease in which I took down that mountain lion. For someone who had such an aversion to blood as a human, I certainly picked up hunting easily enough. "You know me," I shrugged, "I hate having a big fuss made over me."

She smiled, "Like a wedding?" I laughed and she hesitated before asking, "You were so nervous then. Is it what you hoped for, marriage I mean? With school and everything I can't begin to imagine myself as somebody's wife."

"It's everything I ever wanted and more," I promised to my eavesdropping husband as well as in reply to her.

As if on cue, Edward came back with Ben in tow. I hadn't remembered Ben being so tall. Angela still had an inch or two on him but I had to look up a bit to meet his gaze. After a careful hug from me, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Got it," he told her, lightly tapping her with his book. "It was right there the whole time."

She patted his arm indulgingly, "Can we go now?"

Edward, meanwhile, showed me the entire set of Little House on the Prairie books. For a little girl who has already read Tennyson, I wasn't sure Renesmee would appreciate the simplicity of them but, then again, they were childhood classics and I hoped she would take after me at least when it came to her taste in reading.

I took the books but told him I would still like to look around. I hadn't attacked Angela so I felt a bit more secure in staying. Although, one of the books on my list was a new copy of The Merchant of Venice, to replace the one Alice had torn last year, I was no longer sure I should do that with Edward at my side. It brought back too many frightening memories of the Volturi "visit." Perhaps a new copy of Wuthering Heights would be better.

"I remember those from when I was a little girl," Angela interrupted my thoughts. "I loved watching it on cable."

I glanced down again at the books I held and vaguely recalled, "My mom got me into the series but I have no idea what happened to my old books."

Edward's phone suddenly chimed and I watched him frown before he handed it to me. "Rosalie."

In the early morning hours we had dropped off Renesmee at Charlie's so he could take her fishing and, surprisingly, Rosalie had offered to accompany them. So I tried not to worry when I was informed that, now back at Charlie's, Renesmee had thrown up her lunch. While our daughter's main source of food would always be blood, we had been able to introduce human food into her diet. Unfortunately, the combination of the two didn't always agree with her, especially if she ate those meals too close together or was over-excited. "I'm sorry, Rose. There should be a change of clothing for her, just toss the ruin--"

"But there was so much food and blood and everything and I can't reach Carlisle!"

"It's okay," I quickly assured her, "it's happened before. She probably ate too much, too quickly. You know how impatient she can be. She'll be fine, don't worry. How's Charlie?"

"Maybe you and Edward should come back," Rosalie requested instead. "Charlie's been pacing back and forth rocking her but she won't stop crying and she won't show us what's wrong."

"She hasn't made the connection between her eating habits and throwing up," I said. "Tell Charlie to continue holding her and rubbing her back. She's probably exhausted and will fall asleep any minute."

Edward took the phone from my hand, "We'll only be a little longer at the bookstore. Call if she throws up again. Thanks, Rose."

I waited for him to disconnect the call and pocket the phone before sighing, "To think Charlie's calmer than she is."

"Did Rosalie have a baby?" Angela wondered.

I shook my head, "She's our nie--"

"Our daughter," Edward interrupted. "Charlie and Rosalie are babysitting her."

I stared at him in shock. We were supposed to tell people that Renesmee was his orphaned niece.

"Your daughter?" Angela gasped at the same time Ben uttered, "Wow…"

"Yeah, wow…" I was beginning to wonder if a vampire could hyperventilate when I felt Edward's fingers stroking my spine.

He calmly added, "She's almost three months old." The fact that Renesmee was actually eleven months old but looked like she was about four years old was something we couldn't reveal. What had he done to all our plans?

I felt even more self-conscious when I realized they were both staring at me. I tugged uncomfortably at my blouse's hem and muttered something about my quick metabolism and having been all baby.

And then I nearly dropped the books when Edward pulled out his wallet where I knew he kept half a dozen pictures of our daughter. He only withdrew a single shot, one of my favorites taken when she was barely a week old but already looking like she was several months old, and I sighed in a surprisingly maternal way.

Angela asked to see others but Edward politely lied that this was the only one he had on him at the moment.

No one ever anticipated Renesmee and even though Alice and Rosalie created those photo albums within weeks of her birth, I still feel the pressure of time being so fleeting for her. Physically, she'll be fully grown in just a few more years. And it makes me feel sad and guilty all at the same time.

I felt Edward's lips brush my hair and I softly apologized. I knew it was wrong to keep feeling this way when I was so immensely grateful we had a daughter who was vibrant and healthy. Nothing else should matter.

"A baby," Angela murmured, shaking her head, "why didn't you tell me?"

"And you managed Dartmouth at the same time?" Ben sounded impressed.

"We never made it to Dartmouth," I quietly confessed, looking to Edward for further guidance on what we should say.

"That's why you never talked about school in your messages," Angela realized. "But she's beautiful and I can't imagine you'd be ashamed of her so why the secret? I never heard a word about it from anyone."

"We've pretty much kept to ourselves," Edward admitted as he pulled me close to his side, rubbing my upper arm as if to ward off a chill only I could feel. "It has been a…difficult year."

"This is our first real major outing since our honeymoon," I added truthfully enough.

"You had complications like requiring bed-rest? Were you hospitalized?" Ben questioned with concern.

"But she's okay, right?" Angela asked at the same time.

"She's healthy and growing every day," I nodded. They didn't need to know just how fast nor how special she truly was.

"But you're not okay," Angela quietly said. "It's why you didn't share the news, why you're so pale now, why your eyes are so light-colored now. It's not just about the baby's health, is it?"

I wasn't sure what the best response was, especially to someone as perceptive as Angela, and again looked to Edward.

He, just as quietly, replied, "Renesmee will be our only biological child."

Angela mistook my sigh of relief at Edward's quick thinking for a sigh of pain and reached out to hug me. "Oh, Bella…"

"Man, that's rough," Ben sympathized. "How're you guys holding up?"

I found myself lightly patting her on the back. "Thanks, Angela, but it's okay, I'm fine now. Really."

"It was too close," Edward murmured.

I could only imagine the memories he was now reliving. A year later and he still blamed himself for at first selfishly wanting only me to survive the deadly pregnancy and then for being the one who ultimately took my life. "We're okay and it's all good now," I assured him more than the others, "just like I knew it would be."

Ben shook his head in awe, "You guys are parents…I can't even being to picture it in my head, the whole baby thing. You think you'll try school this coming semester or do you still need to be home?"

I reached for Edward's hand and gave it a careful squeeze as I tried to lighten the moment by answering, "I'm betting Dartmouth will be a breeze after this…"

Both Ben and Angela laughed while Edward barely smiled. "Believe me, Ben, I hadn't planned on ever becoming a mom but I wouldn't trade our little surprise for anything. Renesmee means the world to us."

"Unusual name but pretty. It's too bad you didn't bring her with you," Angela sighed. "I'd've loved to have seen her."

"I'll e-mail pictures," I promised as we finally said our goodbyes. "And I'll be better about keeping in touch."

"Me too," she nodded before giving me another quick hug. "We'd better get going. And congratulations!"

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

"Perhaps I made a mistake with the announcement," Edward confessed when we were on our way back to Charlie's.

"Perhaps you did," I agreed as I reached for his hand, "but I'd like to understand why you did. You were the one who helped plan the cover story for Renesmee's birth so why blurt out the truth like that?"

His eyes flicked from the road to me, "When Angela thought she was Rosalie's…"

He was still bothered by Rosalie's attachment to Renesmee. I traced his knuckles with my fingers, "Rosalie's not trying to take my place." He hesitated before nodding and I looked down at our hands, "And now you know…"

"Know what?"

I met his gaze, "How I felt when Charlie met Renesmee. When I couldn't let him think she was anyone's but ours."

He pulled his hand free and brought it up to my cheek, caressing it with his knuckles.

"It's so hard not to talk about her in my e-mails," I sighed, reaching for his hand again, pulling it back into my lap, "just sticking to safe topics like the weather and movies, when all I want to do is shout about my wonderful, beautiful, amazing daughter."

He nodded and I shrugged, "I'm sure Angela and Ben won't blog about it but word will get out, Edward. And we're going to have to adjust our plans."

"Perhaps we've been living in our own little world for too long," he apologized.

"Never," I pinched him. "There will never be enough alone time for us. But," I rued, "maybe it is time we left Forks, at least for a few years. We're still registered with Dartmouth…"

"Even if we returned here after graduation, she'd still look too old for the actual passage of time," he commented.

"We wouldn't have to announce our return," I suggested. "We could just visit Charlie. With Jacob practically living with us, my dad's really the only tie we have to Forks."

"And what will he tell people about our lives?" he considered. "Is it fair to Charlie to keep his granddaughter a secret?"

I didn't have an answer but assured my husband, "We'll think of something. We always do."

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****