The sound of his oddly feminine heavy breathing woke me. Night had fallen, and the room was blanketed in darkness. The fluffy white pom-poms on my shirt swayed back and forth as I tried to silently slip away from my stalker. When had everything gotten so complicated?

I suppose it began with him. All I had wanted was to do a bit of reading in the library, far away from the Pokemon filled corridors that scared me senseless. As to why my parents chose to bring me, their small son, to a place jam-packed with the very creatures that once nearly killed me and now frighten me to the point of wetting myself, I'll never know.

But anyway, I had been minding my own business when he ran up to me. Even if his frightening yellow ball of rat-fluff hadn't scared me, his way out-of-date clothing and too-tight jeans would have been enough to caution me from speaking. One would think that when I screamed bloody murder and ran away, that it was a hint that I did not want to be near him. Clearly, that wasn't the case. He chased after me then, and continued to follow me wherever I went.

Sure, sure. He tried to be 'nice.' But my Mommy told me all about those kind of guys. He even tried to worm his way into my interests. When he caught me talking to my vaguely star-shaped, yet blurry and slightly invisible friend, he tried to sweet talk me into telling him who it was. "Would it hurt to tell me?" He asked, his jarring voice attempting to be seductive. I wasn't about to know what kind of hurt I'd know if I stuck around, so I yelled at him to leave me alone and took off. I definitely was not going to tell him about my mysterious friend who can magically disappear, has no clear shape, and yet somehow does not scare me like the cute adorable little Plusle and Minun, who only wanted to shower me with grateful affection. Go figure.

But in the end, he got me, despite all my efforts to be careful. This Ash kid, with the strange girly voice, must have gotten his friend Brock, (who for some reason has had his eyes sewn shut), to slip me something in that pot of hot, creamy, white…fondue…that I ate. For why else would I suddenly have a complete change of character and bake my Pikachu obsessed stalker cookies shaped like the creatures the scare me, and then proceed to participate in a music-filled montage where I swung in happiness alongside the Ash-kid whilst frolicking with the monsters of my nightmares? Why indeed.

Whatever drug he laced me with, it stayed with me long enough to get me here, beside him…under a blanket. Sure, my parents, all his friends, and the twins…who are sleeping together, are all in the room too, but this guy is persistent! Given the right opportunity, I wouldn't put it past him to try and show me his "squirtle." Hence the sneaking out. Slowly now, Tory, slowly, I chant inwardly. I edge around a corner and find myself in a dimly lit hallway. A slice of light made by a crack in the door ahead gives me a glimmer of hope.

"Tory! Where are you going?" Damn. The familiar voice is back to haunt me. I make a break for it, but like any anime character, just when I need to run as fast as I can to avoid danger, I trip. "Tory wait! You can't leave!"

"I've told you, leave me alone!" I pick myself up, but he's already there, pinning me to the floor.

"But Tory, I just wanna be your friend!" He presses down on me, and I feel his… pokeballs digging into my side.

"No!!" My voice echoes off the walls, and I can't help but wonder how I can live in such a technology filled place that offers ID recognition for all its inhabitants, food dispensing robots, and high-tech battlegrounds, but fails to recognize the shouts of someone being assaulted. Thrashing about, I notice a conveniently placed, and very helpful to the movement of plot, shiny metal pole. Quickly, I grab the pole and whack it over Ash's head. He slumps over, unconscious, but alive. His ugly hat must be well-padded. I drop the pole and run like Hell for the door.

Unfortunately, outside is still filled with the crazy, purple alien pokemon. There's always a problem in one's plans, isn't there? But anything is better than being raped by that crazy Pokemon trainer, so I make a mad dash for the docks, where I find a small boat still tied to a post. In a flash I'm paddling back to the mainland, where I plan to hide under the covers and alert the FBI about the hazardous nature of one Mr. Ash Ketchum. And I'm referring to his tendency to stalk and molest young boys, not the potentially scarring effects of his poorly translated name.

But what was that I mentioned about plans never working out? Just as I can see the strip of land on the horizon, a totally huge and potentially plot twisting storm blows me way off course! The strength of the wind blows me back, and I hit my head hard on the wooden deck, before all goes black.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, are you alright?" A highly accented voice rouses me, and I open my eyes to stare into ones that mirror my own. "Oh good…I thought you might be dead or something."

"No, I'm okay… I think. What happened? Where's my boat?" I ask, sitting up and looking around. I've washed up on some shore, with no one in sight but this strange boy who looks oddly like me.

"I can't quite say what happened, though whatever you've been through, it looks as if you could use a spot a tea with some crumpets, chap. As for your boat, it's probably not important to the plot anymore, so it's gone." This guy's pretty smart, I think, as I stand up and brush off my clothes.

"Well, thanks for stopping to see if I was okay. By the way, where am I? I don't know this place." He looks at me oddly before gesturing to the city in front of us.

"You're in Japan. That's Domino City in front of us."

"I've never heard of it! That storm must have really blown me off course! Oh, but forgive me. I haven't introduced myself, I'm Tory Lund." My look-alike kindly shakes my extended hand.

"I'm Bakura."

"Just Bakura?"

"Yep, that's it."

"…You don't have a first name?"

"Not in this series."

"Oh, okay. Well Bakura, what are you doing way out here?" I question him, and as I do I see his eyes narrow, and ominous background music plays in … well, the background.

"I'm running away from home."

"What!? Why!?" I ask, even though I suppose I'm essentially doing the same thing.

"Because this is ridiculous! Look at this!" From beneath his shirt, he pulls out a fairly large, golden ring and thrusts it towards my face. "My father gave me this today, but it is clearly a dangerous and evil plot device that will only make me suffer to further the storyline. So I've decided to run."

"Wow, sounds like a pretty good reason. I mean, jeez, that's quite obviously better drawn that other random objects in the scene, so it simply has to be important to the plot."

"You're a right smart chap."

"Uh… right. Hey, we're kinda similar y'know? I'm running too, trying to get away from all these scary creatures we have called Pokemon. Can't stand'em. That and this creepy guy named Ash who keeps trying to rape me in the butt." I say, and watch as Bakura slowly rubs his chin, as if in thought.

"Hm… You've given me an idea Tory. You hate these… Pokemon you say? Well, I'm not a big fan of this stupid children's card game that everyone seems to play around here. I could use some real monsters in my life. So… why not switch places? I'll go back to where you're from and be Tory, and you stay here and be Bakura. Just Bakura. Not Ryou, you gotta watch that." What a thought. I also rub my chin contemplatively.

"Sounds like a pretty good idea, Bakura. I kinda like card games anyway. Anything I need to know about your world?"

"Hm… it'd help if you fancied Egypt."

"No problem, my super-secret hiding place where I used to communicate with my oddly translucent friend, who could, by the way, never be a Pokemon, was shaped like a pyramid."

"Oh, jolly good then." Bakura replied, with that odd accent again.

"Why do you sound like that?"

"Oh, you know, to make me more adorable, I guess. You'll have to speak this way too, if you're to fool anyone."

"I guess I can do that… hm… Let's see. Bangers and mash! Wankers, Earl Grey tea, The Spice Girls, football, Anne Boleyn, cheerio! How was that?"

"Smashing! Anything I need to know about your world?"

"Not too much. My parent's don't care too much about my well-being, otherwise they would never put me in a place where I'd be in constant contact with the creatures that haunt my very existence… hope you don't mind that much." Ryou… I mean, Bakura gives a shrug of his shoulders.

"Nah, it'll be nice to have parents that aren't either abroad or dead."

"Abroad or dead?"

"Yeah… I can never quite remember which it is…"

"Oh, that's odd. But I think we'll both be okay, unless you've had a change of heart?" I say, leaning in and enunciating obnoxiously.

"You did not just make that awful reference." I cringe.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself. Anyway, I think I'll like it here. Different town, same poorly translated names." Bakura nods and then lifts the golden ring from around his neck and places it around mine.

"Y'know… that's gonna get you in trouble one day." He points out. I nod; it's really obvious.

"I'll be okay." Bakura smiles, and then starts walking in the direction of a conveniently located harbor, where conveniently placed boats bob in the water. As I watch him walk away, he stops and turns back to me.

"You sure they won't notice we've switched? I mean, I'm a new transfer student here and I may or may not have parents, so you probably won't get caught. But what about me?"

"Don't worry about it! I'm about due for a major change in character anyway. Just go and randomly save some of those cute, cuddly, adorable pokemon that I'm so scared of!"

"Alright! Thanks Tory… I mean Ryou, er—Bakura. Have a good life here!"

"You too!" I call and start walking towards my new home—Domino City. But then I remember, and quickly turn.

"Wait! Bakura!" He turns back around and gives me a questioning look.

"Don't let Ash Ketchum rape you in the ass!" He nods sagely as only a fellow white-haired, pretty boy could, and then walks into the very appropriately placed, cliché sunset.

THE END.