Sorry about the late update I had my results come out and stuff but I didn't forget this fanfic! ^_^

Mikan stared, aghast, at the girl before her.

"Yes, I'm Natsume-kun's girlfriend," she said smugly. "Didn't he tell you?" Mikan didn't know what to think, hadn't Natsume kissed her in her sleep only last night? And where was this girl even from?

"I... I... I..."

Did she even know he was a vampire? So many questions Mikan could not answer. What if she was a vampire too, that would make sense.

"If you're thinking I'm a bloodsucker, Mikan-chan," Luna said sharply, leaning over so no one else could overhear her. "You'd be right, Natsume has told me all about you. He's lucky I got here in time."

"What?" Mikan said dumbly, which was pretty normal for her.

"If Persona hadn't detected Natsume's killing impulse getting weaker I might not have got here in time," Luna said. "Persona-sama is so knowing like that," she sighed, and Mikan suddenly reazlised the most horrifying thing of her whole life.

Persona was not simply evil... he was a vampire too! All those years tormenting Mikan, he was probably going to change her into one too if she hadn't escaped in time. Had he done the same thing to Natsume then? Had Natsume suffered the same hell she had?

"Luna," Natusme himself interrupted cruelly. "She understands, you can leave." Luna squealed and wrapped her arms around Natsume's shoulder.

"But Natsume!" she squeaked. "Is that any way to talk to your girlfriend?!" Mikan shuddered again to hear her say that word girlfriend again, and from the corner of his eye Natsume noticed.

"For the last time, Luna, you are not my girlfriend," he said stonily.

"But Persona-sama says we must!" Luna screamed. "Not that I object, but you can't reject me, Natsume,or Persona will be mad with you."

Natsume stared Luna straight in the eyes with his hot flaming orbs, burning like the anger within himself. Suddenly he grabbed Mikan's hand, and pulled her close to him; she wasn't aware of what was happening until he put one hand on the side of her face and pulled it to face his, then planted his lips hotly over her own.

He was kissing her.

In their classroom! In front of Luna! As embarassed as she was, Mikan couldn't help but feel dizzied by the sensation, it was hypnotic. Natsume's lips pressed against her own and parted them gently; the kiss deepened and she felt as if she could drown in the soft feeling.

Then, with one almighty rip the author tore through the fourth wall and jumped straight into the classroom, the façade finally abandoned and the anger hot in her veins. In a clear, bell-like voice she announced.

"This. Story. Is. AWFUL!" and then proceeded to explain herself.

This is a horrible piece of fanfiction. HORRIBLE. I wrote this as a demonstration of just how well absolute trash will sell in this fandom – grammatically, yes, it's sound (just about) but the plot, characters, style of writing and general premise are all chosen deliberately and specifically to be crap, and here's why.

The basic premise this story is awful, why may you ask? It has no originality whatsoever. There's a vampire, and I neglect to explain how or why, or even what the hell he's doing in a school plot, he just is, like the hoards of other vampire fanfictions in existance. The first scene is just Mikan getting her blood sucked out by some douchebag vampire with no background information at all. This is poor writing, everything else that happens after it – also poor.

The fact that Natsume then turns up at school the next day as a 'transfer student'; this plot twist/development is cliché, predictable and unimaginative. Then when LUNA, the most unpopular whore competition turned up too that was EVEN. WORSE.

Also in the 'cliché' and 'predictable' catagories are – Hotaru and Ruka 'going to the cinema' Mikan's 'traumatic abusive past' and the fact that Persona is the bad guy in all situations. AND A VAMPIRE TOO.

I've also destroyed traditional Vampire folklore by making a Vampire that is basically not one – Natsume can walk in the daylight, has mindreading and control powers and healing spit: that is as bad as making Vampires sparkle in the sun, and I MEAN bad. He doesn't kill his victims and I've still yet to explain WHY EXACTLY THERE ARE VAMPIRES IN THIS WORLD?! Does no one care?

Good fiction would somehow explain that – mutated viruses, ancient species throughout history kept in hiding, an alternate world in which supernatural creatures existed in all forms. However, this story leaves you blank, and not considering the context of said fiction is a cheap and easy tactic.

Now to move onto the writing, as I use enough bad language in this as it is – the style is weak and descriptions weak too. A few examples that stand out in my mind are 'midnight hair' and anything involving the word 'orbs' in the place of eyes. HOW can hair be midnight and eyes are not orbs, they are eyes – these are weak phrases that denote even weaker writing, and you would catch me dead saying 'crimson orbs' in a piece of work I was trying to make good.

The characters, also, are cheap imitations of themselves – Ruka is soppy and caring, Hotaru cold, Mikan alternates between out of character emo and a crude version of her stupid, clumsy self, and Natsume simply has no personality.

I leave out that Ruka has a strong side, cares about his reputation and can get angry very easily when he's provoked, I ignore that Hotaru loves Mikan underneath all the coldness and if she knew something was wrong would certainly find out what it was, and I've forgotten that Mikan is an exceptional optimist who never accepts anyone having a lesser lot than others and will fight, stand up for herself and others in any kind of circumstance. She has a lot of friends and likes to make more, she does not angst and never pities her own lot; she is very compassionate and not at all weak.

Natsume too is a very complex character I simply reduced to being 'generally a douchbag and slightly perverted' and then making him a soppy caring doting idiot when I wanted romance to force itself upon the story.

Which brings us on to the romance – there is no reason that Natsume should have any reason to pursue, care or have feelings for Mikan at any point in the story so far, the only reason there is is because they are canon in the anime/manga and that means that THEY HAVE TO BE IN THE STORY TOO. No, there is no explanation or background to this flimsy flimsy romance, and the characters have feelings because I've handed them to them and said 'it doesn't matter why just DO IT'.

This is a poor, poor, poor fanfition story and it got over twenty reviews on its first chapter. I have NEVER had that many reviews on a first chapter, EVER, and over 60 for just three chapters is a record too.

A while ago I worked my ass off to write an entry for the 'Natsumeseries contest' and produced a 9000 word oneshot that I was finally happy with and felt was a really good piece of fanfiction for me; it had action, good interaction between Natusme and Mikan, a strong charcterisation for both of them and a circular structure where the first scene is actually the last one -- it has a lone twelve reviews, which is HALF what the first chapter of this story polled. HALF of what an unexplained vampire sucking blood unconvincingly out of a characterless Mikan got.

This proves wholeheatedly what I hate most about this fandom. Crap sells. People just don't care about originality, imaginative storylines, characterisation or a clever plot. They just want to read about a vampire Natsume making hot lips with Mikan and nothing else really matters.

So if you feel angered by this or cheated, flame me all you want, because if you loved this story and can't believe I wrote it all as a big joke to troll you with for three chapters (which I did) your taste in fiction is questionable by my standards and you've been completely had. No, I will not be finishing the story, but I will tell you how it would have finished if we follow the lines of cliche and unoriginality.

Luna starts trying to kill Mikan and Natsume has to protect her in the process of this they fall in love and make hot hot makeouts on the bed before he drinks her blood (for the lolz) and then they realise that her blood makes him become more human. Natsume wants to become human again but to do it would kill Mikan and he loves her SO MUCH right now he'd never do that NOT EVER. Luna tries to make it look like she's had sex with Natsume in classic whore-mode so Mikan gets upset and then Natsume tells her he never did NOT EVEN ONCE and she forgives him and they spit in Luna's face or something.

Persona turns up at the climax like any bad vampire should, and tries to kill Mikan so that Natsume can be with Luna forever – because bad guys just LOVE matchmaking – and reveals he would've made Mikan into a vampire to be Natusme's mate if she hadn't run away and it's ironic that now he's trying to keep her away from doing that. IRONY GEDDIT.

Somehow shit goes down Persona dies probably and then Natsume must make a choice between staying as a Vampire or becoming human and likely killing Mikan. Mikan wants him to have his life back so she tells him – injured and possibly almost dead herself – to do it so that he can become human, so Natsume's all SLUUURRRP SLUUURP until the taste of blood finally becomes repulsive to him, proving that he is human again. In his human form he struggles to rush Mikan to hospital BUT MAKES IT IN THE END SO THAT THEY CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Ignoring the fact that in the first chapter I said that Ruka was in love with Mikan too and never mentioned it again =D Or that there are any other characters.

THE. END.

Thankyou, fangirls, and goodnight. I hope you learned something today.