Disclaimer: I do not own Overlord, or any related series or titles, this is solely a work of fanfiction written for the enjoyment of myself and others.

EORP: Evil Overlord Retirement Plan

Prologue

When Evil Retires

Minions poured out of the spawning pits. Wave after wave of them filled the throne room, all of them crowding around the tower portal. They howled and cheered in celebration, some of the reds even throwing great balls of fire over the heads of the crowds, paying little heed to where they landed.

Assembled at the front of the crowd, where the two of the most powerful people in the Dark Tower. Mistress Rose was dressed up in her finest dress, which had been tailored to fit over her bulging abdomen. She was over six months pregnant after all.

Gnarl sat hunched over a distance away, a sick grin of satisfaction on his face. It was a great day for evil. Their Master had yet again beaten their expectations, and yet again had risen above all obstacles, like a proper Overlord should.

The calm waters of the teleporter started bubbling, slowly at first, but soon it picked up intensity. Magic crackled across the waters as the portal threatened to boil over.

Then he appeared.

Vessperion, The Overlord, rose from the bubbling mess like a vengeful spirit; his eyes glowed with inner rage from within the confines of his tri-crowed helm. With a great purpose, he stepped from the teleporter, his arcanium boots setting down on the marble floors with a great boom.

"Our Master has escaped from the Infernal Abyss!" cried the Jester, "All hail Overlord Vessperion. Lord of the Abyss!"

The minions' cheers threatened to shake the whole tower down.

Gnarl hobbled forward to greet the Overlord. "Welcome back Sire! You have truly beaten the odds this time, and once again, evil triumphs!" The aging minion chuckled to himself. "So what's next on your evil agenda lord? Need new lands to conquer? I have a map of the world I need to dust off."

"On the contrary Gnarl," the Overlord responded from behind the helmet. "I'm going to retire."

The throne room went deathly silent. Most of the minions looked at each other in confusion, each having no idea what the word "retire" meant. Gnarl froze, his face did a weird twitch, and the glowing stone he carried above his head started flickering, hypnotising several nearby browns.

"You're going to retire?" Vessperion turned to look at Rose. "That sounds like a pleasant idea. What brought this about?"

He shrugged his armoured shoulders. "I figured I had pushed my luck far enough, this is the second time I should be dead. First it was the former Overlord trying to reclaim the tower, than it was accidently getting locked in the abyss. I figure I better get out before some idiot accidently blows up the tower heart or something." He paused. "That and overlording gets rather dull if there is nothing new to conquer."

Rose smiled. "And this is hardly a place to raise a child; too many sharp, pointy things."

"So any idea's where to move to?" the Overlord asked, as both he and Rose began walking back to the private quarters. "I was thinking maybe that big city to the north."

"Cities tend to be full of sleaze. I don't want our child turning into some low class con-man." Rose retorted. "What about that elven colony, Everlight?"

"Are you kidding!? Have you seen the size of the spiders up there?"

"Well what about Nordberg, it's a tad cold, but very quaint and quiet."

"Hmmmm… Nordberg…"

The minions stood staring at the now vacant stairs before slowly beginning to trickle back to the spawning pits, each having no idea whether they should be happy or not. Soon all that was left was Gnarl, who sat frozen in the middle of the throne room. A slight tremor moved through his upper lip.

"RETIRED!!?"

And then, Gnarl, the great Master of Minions, Advisor to Thousands of Overlords, and Devoted Servant of Darkness, passed out cold on the throne room floor.

Authors Note: Been a big fan of Overlord since it first came out, and one late night of playing Overlord 2, I got the crazy idea of the old Overlord escaping from the Abyss, and entering in immediate early retirement.