Tell me why when I cut my light off last night, I crawled into bed and slammed my head against the wall? I knew it was there, and I was thinking about hitting it, but I didn't actually think it'd happen. Also my bestie called me and said she has the huge Demi and Selena poster and she showed me a pic. I can't wait to get it, its so amazing.
I don't know how long I was in my room crying my eyes out with my door open. No one stepped in to ask what was wrong or what was going on, not even Derrick. I heard them speaking down the hall but I barley paid attention. My eyes were red, I could barley see, my nose was stuffy and I was in no mood to move around. After what seemed like hours I sat up and faced the open door. I could still see Mitchie walking out, her eyes towards the floor and my heart burning for her to stay. I can't breath, it hurts to do so. I'm also shaking, but I don't mind it much, it keeps me where I am. A couch rolls in and I can see I was lost in my thoughts because Derrick finally stepped into the room, he was slowly pushing the door closed.
"I um…," he stopped speaking sliding into bed next to me. I shook my head pulling a pillow into my lap, pressing my fingers deep into the fabric before pushing it up to my chest and placing my chin on the long end.
"I know that you hurt Alex, but…you can't just let Mitchie leave, at least not without saying goodbye"
"She….I can't….she can't do this to me," my voice sounded horrible, it was shaky and groggy, and I whimpered through every broken word.
"I just think its stupid if you don't…"
"Don't what? I've chased after her for a very long time and she's still doing this to me. Its like she doesn't even care"
"Alex she does its just…"
"Oh whatever," I rolled my eyes as my heart tightened. Derrick tried wrapping his arms around me but I pulled back, knocking his hand away before staring at him. "If she really cared…she would have stayed"
"Alex, you're not listening you have to chase after her"
"Why? My heart….I can't take this anymore, and if I chase after her again and she breaks my heart….again…I can't live through this," I took a big breath against my pillow before crying once more. My throat began burning, words no longer wanted to escape them.
"Look Alex, I know you're hurting, but I bet Mitchie is as well, if neither one of you says goodbye to the other… you want to know what's going to happen?" I didn't answer I just let him speak as my tears trampled along the pillow's fabric, rolling off onto the bed. "The both of you are going to regret it, the both of you are going to push each other away, and the both of you are going to lose something that means the world to you," I couldn't see anymore. The tears covered my eyes and I didn't care, my heart was burning, pressing against my chest and somehow tearing my skin apart, I knew it.
"Alex, what are you going to do?" his words pounded against my heart, it totally skipped through my ears and flowed down to my chest, before it clicked in my head.
"But she just left without saying anything"
"You gave her this?" Derrick plucked the golden bracelet off of the bed and ran his fingers across it as I nodded. "And she left?" I nodded once more before sucking in some air.
"I can't make her feel what she doesn't," Derrick stared at me and sighed.
"I'm going to tell you this only because I want you out of this bed and over Mitchie's house in the next few minutes do you hear me?"
"What?" I was confused as he tapped the bracelet.
"Mitchie has came to me plenty of times Alex, more than once. She was confused, lost, hurt, and crying so many times over you."
"Over me?" I gave him my full attention although tears still fell, they flowed slower.
"Yes over you. Alex the both of you trust me, and I can honestly say that Mitchie loves you, she wants to be with you, but if you haven't noticed she's scared, and so are you."
"I'm not scared to be with her"
"Are you sure? Are you sure that your parents would allow it? Are you sure that you can handle being judged, because I believe you're strong Alex, but Mitchie….she can't do this without you, she's not strong without you, but she's scared…with you," I felt my head pound, as I studied Derrick's face.
"But she's always pushing me away"
"So what Alex, push back, but forward, the both of you need to be together and I mean now because I can't always be there, now get out of bed," Derrick stood and made his way to my drawer pulling clothes out, tossing them at me.
"What am I suppose to do? Go up to her and what?"
"Kiss her, talk to her, I don't care, but you better get up now, she's leaving sometime today Alex," once he was done tossing different things out of my closet he ran over to the bed and rose a few different pair of jeans up. "These, these….these…pick one," he was basically doing things on his own before he disappeared into my bathroom and returned with a wash cloth. He actually came into my face, pressed his fingers into my chin and began scrubbing my tears. I cringed and let him do whatever before he pulled back and placed clothes into my arms.
"Go and don't take forever, I'll drive," I didn't move, all of this was happening too fast. He actually wanted me to go after Mitchie when not too long ago she left me laying in this bed crying my heart out. "NOW ALEX," I slowly stood and carried myself into the bathroom, locking the door, turning on the shower and leaning up against it, breathing slow. If this was going to happen today, I was praying it was going to happen right.
………………………………....................................................................................
I slowly put on my clothes, Derrick was banging at the door wildly but I was still in shock. Mitchie liked me, but I love her, so like and love are on two entire different levels. I needed to hear it from her, but it would still break my heart, she was leaving, so what was the point in doing any of this.
"DAMN IT ALEX, COME ON," Derrick yelled as I heard Justin say something, but it was in a whispered tone. I stared at myself, my hair still wet but not dripping, my torn up black and red shirt layering over my blue jeans and my toes exposed. I took a silent breath, brushed my wet hair with my fingers and stepped near the door opening it.
"Lets go," Justin rose me up over his shoulder and carried me towards my room door. Derrick grabbed my shoes and I kicked hard, I was scared. I could don this.
"Stop kicking him Alex, and I think you're going to need this," I don't know how but Derrick slid both bracelets over my arm.
"Guys what are you doing?" My mom asked as my dad turned towards us. He began chewing on a piece of pizza before waving at us.
"We're taking Alex to Mitchie," Justin struggled to say as I dug into his skin.
"Oh, be nice guys," and with that we were out the door. I wanted all of this to stop, the fast rush of things, my heart racing, the world moving, everything.
"Alex do you want Mitchie or not?" Derrick asked as we stood near his car, my feet against the concrete.
"With all my heart"
"Then we're going to do this, now!" I shook and agreed before getting in the car. There was no point in putting on my shoes, I was shaking anyway. The drive seemed slow but fast, we arrived in a few minutes. A large white moving truck was outside with a few guys loading boxes. I saw Connie speaking to the guys as they carried things this way and that.
"Go Alex, and don't come back until you have a girlfriend," Derrick said as I swallowed hard and opened the car door. Once I was out the walk across the street felt awkward, but then again my toes were knocking against the gravel. Connie watched me make my way over to her before she smiled.
"Good morning Alex," she pulled me into a hug before looking down. "You're bare today"
"I um, I wish you didn't have to move," I was speaking truthfully.
"Yeah, me too, but like I said you can still visit"
"You can count on it," I turned towards the men moving things. I saw Mitchie's boxes and my throat burned again. I turned back to Connie. "Is Mitchie…"
"She's upstairs, I guess saying goodbye to the house she's known since she was a kid. And Alex, I'm glad you came to say see you later, because Mitchie was upset and worried that you wouldn't." I nodded and carried myself passes the archway. The entire house was cleared out, except for a few tables and chairs. I wrapped my fingers around the banister and slid my hand up and down the smooth surface as I took one step at a time to the girl's room. The house was quiet until men came in and moved a few things, but it was silent again a few seconds after. Mitchie's room door was cracked open. I took it slow, breathing and thinking about what Derrick said. His stupid voice playing in my head, but I've always loved him for being such an amazing friend. A small uneven tune reaches my ears, broken words floating through the air just before I placed my fingers on the knob.
"Mom, a few more minutes," Mitchie's voice was horrible, I mean it was amazing to hear her but she sounded almost as worse as I did when she left me earlier.
"Knock….knock," I actually built up the strength to speak before pushing open the room door, revealing the girl sitting on the wood with her legs crossed and her guitar in her hands. Her finger plucking a few strings. She didn't stop moving her hands when she heard me, she looked up and smiled before going back at it. Small whispered escaper her lips at first before she began singing a bit louder, her pitch reaching the highest level and her voice sounding more than music to my ears.
"Your hand in mine
Turning back the hands of time
Kissing me as if it was the last time
Words left unsaid
Promises that we've had
Swearing that we'd never miss them again
I'd never thought I'd see the day
When you left me here
Singing this sweet melody
Crying all these tears
Never will I break
Never will I forget
Never is a word that you've held so dear
But listen to this song
Break through this heart
Kiss away all these fears…."
"Mitchie, I'm sorry about pushing things on you, too fast, and I..," I watched as she stood up and sat her guitar down.
"I thought you wouldn't have came and, I'm sorry for just walking out on you"
"Its okay, I just thought that you'd want to be…"
"Your girlfriend?"
"Well I didn't think about it but now that you bring it up," I laughed as Mitchie walked up to me.
"I'm not ready," I didn't say anything after that and neither did she, her hand slammed against my cheeks as her lips covered mine. She ran her fingers down my hands before cupping them and the next thing I knew I was pushed against the wall, she was completely taking control over me. I was breathing hard into the kiss and my feet brushing against the wall. I didn't know what to think of the situation but I pried my hands from Mitchie's and placed them gently around her waist. She was basically ravishing my lips, brushing them but it felt so good. But it stopped when I tried taking control. Her lips were pulled away and both of us were inches apart again. I could feel her breath against my skin though, warming me. Her hand slid down my arm and she brought it up to her. I watched as she plucked my bracelet off, well the one that belonged to her and wrapped it around her wrist. She smiled faintly at me, pecked my lips and pulled back before her mom walked into the room.
"Okay Mitch," her voice made me shake as I turned to the brunette.
"I can't let you go"
"Alex its not as if I have a choice, my mom is leaving, you know my family, my dad will be there and…I need them"
"And I need you," her eyes brightened at that before she pulled me into a hug. It was long, she lingered there long enough to let my skin burn. She walked over to her guitar and pulled it up around her neck and took a deep breath.
"Walk me out?" My heart was burning again, but somehow it felt slightly better than before. I frowned, taking Mitchie's hand and walking with her to her mother's truck.
"Everything I have ever wanted has always been right here," she whispered.
"Everything I have ever wanted has always been….in you," I didn't whisper, hell I wanted the world to hear it. She came into me shyly at first hugging me, but then she ignored her mom in the car and pulled our lips together. I cherished that moment as well.
"I love you," I whispered against her lips as she giggled and pulled back. My feet were cold now. Mitchie stepped back and placed her guitar in the back seat. I walked around to the other side with her before the tears finally came back to me.
"I promise I'll be back," she hopped into the car and I held her hand for a bit, her mom signaled she was pulling away and I frowned, before tears dripped onto my cheeks. When Connie did finally pull off I noticed my brother across the street with Derrick. I ran over to them, hopped in the car and once I was about to break down and cry my phone rang.
"And I love you too," Mitchie's voice was music to my ears, and that really began the water works.
"Oh god, this is awesome, I just had this leather cleaned."
I don't know if I'm making another chapter, I plan to, if one isn't up tomorrow then chances are this is how I'm ending it. Thanks for always being there and one-shots will be coming up. All new ones this time, check my profile for the pairings, but Demena will still be one of the ones I write.