Hello! This is the latest piece of you-know-what from the offices of OCV. Let me warn you. This fic was created using three lists from Microsoft Excel and a random number generator. Complete randomness.

Disclaimer 1: I do not own any Final Fantasy or the Dating Game

Disclaimer 2: If you have your heart set on any specific pairing and do not like the thought of them being with anyone else, don't read this. And do keep in mind, I did all this completely by random. And the results will be calculated by votes (Hint, hint)…

Episode 1

A red-cloaked figure turned to face the camera, microphone in hand, and shouted, "Welcome, folks, to The Dating Game! I'm your co-host, Gogo! Aaand… Heeere's your host… Gilgamesh!"

A bright white flash arched through the stage and slowly tore open. A tall man in a thick red cloak walked out, microphone in one of eight arms, and spoke, "Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to your doom!" Gogo leaned over to Gilgamesh and whispered something in his ear. The taller man looked up, a look of slight understanding in his eyes and nodded slowly, "Ohh… Oh, well. Close enough."

The genderless one held the mic to its lips and spoke with an enthusiastic tone, "Let's welcome today's contestant, a young lady hailing from the metropolitan capital of Galbadia, Deling City, put your hands together for… Miss Rinoa Heartilly!"

A young woman with black hair streaked with brown came running out from backstage, waving her hands high over her head. She stopped beside the two red-cloaked freaks, a huge smile on her face, "Hi, Gogo!"

Gilgamesh pointed a finger at himself and asked in a small voice, "What about me?"

"Hello, Rinoa. Tell me a little about yourself," Gogo tipped the microphone towards her.

"Well, like you said, I'm from Deling City… I'm seventeen, five-foot-three, and I ran away from home as a teenager to rebel against my father by joining a resistance faction fighting against everything he stands for." She waved towards the camera and blew kisses from both hands, "Hi, Zone! Hi, Watts! Hi, Angelo!"

"Very good. Now… Care to tell us a little about your taste in men?"

"I love men in uniform! I want a man who'd be willing to sacrifice his very soul for me. I can't say I like booksmart guys too much…I guess it's okay as long as they don't preach to me."

"I see. Now then! Let the games begin!" A light lit up a blue door with a red '1' written on it, then moved to a red door with a yellow '2' and then a yellow door with a blue '3.' "Oh…" Gogo added as an afterthought, "Each booth is equipped with a voice modulator to make every voice behind those doors sound the same and to remove any speech quirks." It wiggled its eyebrows. "Okay! Rinoa, you know the rules?"

"Um… Not really…"

Gilgamesh jumped up, all eight hands on his hips, "Alright, you get three questions to try to decide which one of those men behind those doors is right for you. Ask carefully…"

"Okay!"

He flourished his cape dramatically, "Let's begin! Question one!"

Gogo held its microphone over to Rinoa, "Um… Do you like the sciences?"

Door number one replied, "Oh, yes! I am absolutely fascinated by astronomy!"

Door number two shouted a little louder than necessary, "What are these 'sciences' that you speak of?"

Door number three gave a low hum as if thinking, "I think I would prefer Magicks to sciences…"

"Okay…" she nodded slowly, "What's your weapon of choice?"

"The ancient Magicks of the *Err!*"

"Oops…" Gilgamesh looked up innocently, "Sorry. I was playing with my new airhorn."

Door number two gave an uncomfortable cough, "I like a sword that divides into multiple pieces."

Door number three mused, "As I said, I choose Magicks before any blade."

"Okaaay…" Rinoa bit her lip at her choices so far. She clapped her hands together, "Okay! I know the perfect question! Have you… ever been in a relationship before?"

Door number one chuckled softly, "I have not."

Door number two shouted, "What sort of worthless dribble is that!?"

Door number three replied slowly, "No. My study of the Magicks has kept me otherwise occupied."

Rinoa scratched her head, "Huh…"

Gilgamesh turned to the audience, "Now then, folks! Now is your chance to offer your support to Rinoa's decision! Give your opinion! Who do you think is the perfect match for her!?"

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That was a lot shorter than most of my work… I mean, a LOT shorter… But I digress. Gilgamesh meant what he said! Give your opinion! I'm accepting votes by means of review ONLY. Just so everyone can see and know I didn't cheat.

Oh… In case you were wondering… two of my lists were guys and girls… the other was a bunch of generic questions I came up with. If you have any ideas to add, gimme a buzz!

-OCV