[A/N: Oh dear, I am such a damn hermit. I SWEAR TO GOD. A-And because I'm retarded and whatnot, I vent my feelings of…BLKJSDFKJSD [IDK what they are] through Allen Walker. The poor boy. PREPARE TO BE MOLESTED BY [Kanda] MY BAD STORY TELLING, ALLEN, I FEEL FOR YOU MAN.

Disclaimers: Just, augh. NO Dx]

Despite the cold, Allen Walker's eating ice cream. Ice cream. In the middle of winter. Which, Allen understands all too well, is pretty much Suicide. Though the thought of a sweet and blissful end sounds quite nice in comparison to the dreaded factor of old age or sickness, but nonetheless it is Suicide [with a Capital, because ice-cream-during-winter-induced-Suicide is rather silly, but sounds pretty funny when Allen thinks about it-- this, quite frankly, doesn't explain much.]

It's all, damn Allen and his raging teenage body, Yuu Kanda's fault. [Which also happens to be silly, but true.]

Allen reckons that ice cream is his boyfriend-- or girlfriend, Allen's never really put much thought into what gender ice cream must be, though if asked he'd say that Vanilla is obviously a girl [and in the freezer] while Chocolate must be a boy [also in the freezer] and Strawberry must a cheating-type-of-girl [because its not in the freezer] and Neapolitan is, um, a gender-confused-ice cream [though Allen wouldn't really mind, because its also in the freezer.] Um, yeah. So ice cream is Allen's boyfriend, because like hell Kanda will ever be. The ass.

Though said ass has a way of walking into Allen's make out [read: eating] sessions with his ice cream, the ass. Every single time. Even if it's not physically.

[Though, truth be told, Allen's only just started his obsession with ice cream, which is somewhat the same time he figured out he'd developed feelings for Kanda. Augh.]

--

Today it's Vanilla.

Allen's staring down at the [ridiculously fucking]massive bowl of ice cream, and he can imagine that drool is pooling under his open mouth because he's gaping at it as if the bowl holds the answers to all the worlds questions. Allen has half the mind to actually ask the [all-mighty-powerful] bowl if it knows what he should do about the War, but decides against it for his own sanity. Or lack of, but whatever.

All that comes to mind, when Allen stares at the deformed mountains of ice cream, is Yuu Kanda. Because sadly enough, Allen reckons Kanda's skin is probably the same color as the vanilla – he knows that Kanda's skin is the same color as vanilla. Allen holds his right hand up beside the bowl, turns it over because he's suddenly become incredibly interested in palm reading, and lets his eyes wander from his open palm to the bowl of ice cream, then back again.

He feels a little bit of an ache at the stark contrast, like what he gets when he watches a flower wither away. Like…like a lotus, Allen muses, but only for a second because after he realizes that he's made the connection of Kanda and the aching in his chest and it only serves to make the boy flush in a way that even the tips of his hair are burning up.

So much so that Lenalee is giving him a worried look at the way Allen's eyes dim a color or two. Damn her and her excellent feminine intuition, Allen frowns.

"Ah, Allen…" Allen takes the chance to notice that Lenalee's hair is taking on a purple tone, even though he's already noticed this a thousand times. "Are you okay?"

Allen has to hold himself back from screaming at himself, from pulling his hair out and yelling his problems at her; simply smiles and nods his head in a way that makes her face contort into concern [she isn't stupid, after all.]

"I'm fine, Lenalee!" Allen picks up his metallic spoon and resists the urge to dive headfirst into his bowl – though it does conjure up the thoughts of a pool full of ice cream, which then mutate into thoughts of a pool, full of ice cream, with a naked Kanda floating just above the surface- "I just have a lot on my mind."

Oh, yeah, totally.

Allen hates the way she frowns at his words, but nods because she isn't one to pry. At least, not just yet. He turns his attention back to his bowl, though his heart isn't in it like before, and gently shovels the [hated, because Allen was starting to detest vanilla] ice cream down.

And, of course, Lenalee doesn't miss a beat.

--

Today it's Chocolate.

Chocolate, Allen feels, is wonderful. There is absolutely no way that he can connect chocolate ice cream and Kanda, because when Allen thinks about Kanda [which he is beginning to find out is his latest hobby] nothing about the older boy and chocolate mix. Which, thank the heavens, is a good thing.

So chocolate is a wonderful flavor, and is melting ever so slowly while Allen moves around a bit to get comfortable. Because today he's noticed that it's a nice day, and decided to sit on the rooftop of one of the Order's new towers. He feels like he can practically see the world spread out before him, and this scares and excites him at the same time.

Eventually, Allen's comfortable enough to eat his ice cream, and sets his mind to the task at hand. He's glad he asked Jerry for chocolate today, because Allen thinks he'll never be able to eat vanilla without feeling like he's licking Kanda's hot prickly skin-

[Another reason to sit in the rooftop: no one is around to see the vast amount of emotions Allen can make and show on his face in two minutes of thinking about ice cream, its terrible.]

However, there is no luck when it comes to practicality for poor Allen Walker. His [dirty, mind you] thoughts are interrupted by a door being thrown open, and the bang it creates against the wall is making Allen's head swim a bit with other thoughts about how he'd just love for Kanda to slam him against the wall in the same way-

"Che, moyashi?"

"My name is Allen, BaKanda!" Allen's fuming in two seconds flat, before realizing whom exactly has just entered Allen's make out session with his boyfriend [ice cream, but Allen wasn't getting any from other willing participants] and in the 0.000001 seconds after that he's turning a nice shade of red that puts Lavi's hair to shame.

Did he mention Kanda was giving him a look that made him feel stupid, a little love sick and inadequate at the same time? Allen wonders briefly how long it took Kanda to perfect that look, then reminds himself that Kanda is the spawn of Satan.

A damn fine pristine and gorgeous spawn, but Allen digresses.

Kanda cocks his head in a way that Allen reads as, what the fuck are you doing here?

He lifts his bowl up a little; lowers it when Kanda gives the poor thing a disgusted look. Allen almost hugs the bowl to his chest. Almost. He reckons Kanda will feel better against his chest-

Allen registers that Kanda's raised an eyebrow, which makes him look funny because he's giving Allen a look that he hasn't seen before, and this excites him even more. Damn Kanda and his fine features. Then Kanda's giving the rooftop a clean sweep, slams the door shut, and Allen wonders what in the world is going on and if he's missed something.

Kanda's walking over, Allen's mind manages to blurt out through the messy signal Allen's body is giving it. Like bad reception on a telephone, only…only this is his head.

By the time Kanda is towering over Allen, the chocolate ice cream is long forgotten, and when this registers in Allen's head he realizes that chocolate is kind of the same color as mud, which then turn to dirty, which then makes Allen's mind, messy signal and all, promptly slam on the breaks because now all Allen can think about is dirty kinky hot sex with Kanda and-

Before Kanda can utter anything else at Allen, the younger boy throws the contents of his bowl at Kanda's face and prays to whomever is up there that they grant Allen the speed and ability to escape the Samurai's wrath. Because Allen knows what he's just done is going to get him strung up by his organs and left for dead in an area that everyone will be able to see.

When Kanda blinks and looks around, Allen is long gone, and Kanda's face [for the first time in what seems like forever] is contorting into confusion, and his brows furrow while his mouth is turned down into a very noticeable 'n' shape. Because, fucking hell, he'd be wanting to tell the sprout something important.

While Allen, on the other hand, is locking himself in his bedroom, back pressed to the door and breaths coming out in short-deep gusts, with the hardest boner he's ever gotten in his life.

--

Today it's Strawberry.

The only reason Allen has even asked for Strawberry is because a) he knows that if he gets vanilla or chocolate he's going to have an aneurysm, b) he hasn't eaten ice cream in over three weeks [which have been spent hiding from Kanda at all times and makes him feel like he's ignoring his lover] and c) it's the only flavor left because there's a short on chocolate and vanilla ice cream from…from whoever brings in the food to the Order.

Allen's never really wanted to know, or cared for that matter, who it is – but today he feels like thanking them a thousand times. He's not really a strawberry fan, anyway, but whatever – as long as he doesn't think about Kanda.

Which is kind of hard to do when you're trying desperately to shovel down the massive amount of ice cream Jerry serves you every day and enjoy it. All at once. Which Allen is finding out is an incredible task.

He's doing pretty damn well, to point where he only has a couple scoops left before he can bolt out the room, when a certain angry exorcist slabs the cafeteria door open and Allen's left for dead because Kanda is making his way over. To him.

Shitshitshitshitshit-

"Oi," Kanda grabs the front of Allen's jacket, yanks him up so they're eyelevel even though Kanda is reaching over the table. Allen can almost see the…the darkness flowing off the older boy, and this only makes Allen's stomach drop. Dramatically. To the point where its pretty much six feet under, like he'll be in a minute.

[Allen's being dramatic, only because he doesn't know if these are the last thoughts he'll ever think again.]

"Fucking moyashi," Kanda growls; cause Allen's eyes to widen to saucepans. "I'm fucking looking for you everywhere, and where the fuck do I find you?" Kanda's hand reaches for Allen's [girlfriend? Boyfriend?] ice cream, picks it up and inspects the contents. "Eating ice cream."

Then he drops it, a look of disgust and detest written across his face. From where Allen's face is, which is pretty much a few inches away from Kanda's, Allen thinks it looks kinda cute. And this makes his face go so damn red it feels like his face is melting off. Kanda seems to notice, too, because he's trying-

This is the point where Allen's brain stops working and blatantly packs up its things and leaves the vicinity.

There's a wet popping noise, and Allen's as dazed as the time Cross hit him in the head with a hammer – eyes unfocused and everything looks a little blurry except for the gorgeous boy in front of him, whom is smirking in a way that makes Allen blood boil and heart pound madly.

Dammit, if Kanda knew how to look sexy when he wanted to be then Allen's poor hormone-driven mind was screwed. Because they'd just kissed. Kissed. Allen feels like he's floating a foot off the ground – which he is, actually, because Kanda's still holding him up, why is he so strong? – and then a grin is splitting his face in two, and Allen knows this will probably put Tyki's grin to shame. To shaaaaaame.

"Idiot." Kanda says in a way that makes Allen's giggles burst from his chest, makes Allen cling to the arm holding him up and clutch his stomach because, well, it was funny. Then a bowl is abruptly dumped on his head, and Allen can't help himself when he's in hysterics because Kanda-

"That's for my hair, moyashi." Kanda growls, but it only registers as sexy to Allen, whose tugging at his hair because its turning a shade of pink that reminds him of Jerry for some reason. Laughing all the while. "And shut the fuck up, you're stupid and retarded."

Well… "Better than looking like a girl."

"Fuckwit, get the hell up." Kanda yanks the boys jacket; practically throws Allen over his shoulder as he makes to leave the cafeteria. [No complaints from Allen, of course.] "We'll get you cleaned up."

This, funnily enough, is what makes Allen's brain come back to him in the form of a raise and the promise of a window-view cubicle. Its telling Allen what's happened, but before drool starts to pool on the floor behind them, Kanda pinches his ass and Allen yelps, hitting the man halfheartedly. Because, well, if Kanda figured out he was sexually appealing, Allen was at a loss as to what 'cleaned up' meant.

Not that Allen really cared, though, because it'd mean something good, anyway. That and he'd finally be able to eat vanilla and chocolate ice cream without feeling horny.

…at least, he hoped he could. Oh well.

END

[Wow, that was a lot of fun! The end is crap, but I like the breaks and whatnot, they're quite funny. I really enjoyed writing this, and this story is for all those who've reviewed and faved my last story, I LOVE YOU ALL. AHOHO~

Ah, man, this story gives me the fuzzies, I've never written a story from Allen's point of view, so this is quite funny. I love the boy's appetite, I'm just like him ;o;

Anyway, a review could mean more stories in the future…? *nudgenudge*

~Roku!

PS: If there were mistakes, I'm too lazy to change 'em right now. I've gotta get my stuff packed...LOL]